Just curious to get to know those you’re apart of the community a little better. Personally, I’ve worked on and off since I turned 18, took a 5 year break, and have returned as the lady I am now. So I’m just curious how long you’ve been a hobbyist or provider? What got you into it? What was the very first experience like? And any tips or advice for those looking to enhance their experiences for others or with others 💕💕💕

-- Modified on 4/13/2022 4:25:44 AM

I first noticed an ad for Ter in Penthouse, I believe. Took me the longest time to realize this place was real. My first date was terrible because that was just before I found Ter and was attracted to a beautiful woman who didn't really exist but I didn't find that out until I met her. She was about 20 years older than expected and looked nothing like her pictures. Oh well, I chalked it up as a learning experience and I quickly became more educated on how to find the right SW.
Here are my tips:
1) be patient with people in this business and quick to forgive. People are only human and we all make mistakes. Own up to your mistakes and try to make it up to the person if you screw up.
2) remember that not every person has the same experiences, or experience level, and thus some don't know every written, or unwritten, rule of etiquette. There is a lot to learn in this venture and remember we are all newbies at first.
3) if someone tells you something in private, keep it there. Don't feed the rumor mill.
4) always send a thank you note after a date.  
5) try and not be adversarial. We need each other. Sometimes there is a "guy vs girl" mentality here and I just think that is ridiculous. We should all work together and look out for each other.
6) Pay it forward. If you can help someone in this business, do it if you are able. There are so many landmines waiting to blow up the unexpected or inexperienced in this line of work. If you have the ability, mentor someone but don't expect anything back in return. Your reward will be helping the community by helping just that one person.

Back when the street walkers invaded 14th Street every evening back in the 80s.  I worked and lived in the city, was in my 20s and would pay about $100 for full service at a rent by the hour hotel off Rhode Island Ave.  Also got plenty of car action.  In the 90s, recall the flyers being handed out in Vegas when I traveled there for my job.  There was also ads in the back of the City Paper which was common in major cities and the upscale providers in Washingtonian Magazine.  Before the interwebs you would need to work at finding providers.  Oh the good old days!

So 20+ yrs... I will be 41 soon.. Like very soon..LOL.

....kind of like a partier starting off with weed and moving up to the big H! I started visiting stripclubs with my male coworkers around 2004. Loved it so much that I started going on my own. That led to seeking out happy endings at AMPs, and upon finding TER I ventured into the world of escorts. Now I dabble in all 3 realms as the whim strikes. My only regret is that I didn't start sooner

If you ask me, I wouldn't advise anyone to start out when they are 20 - which is what I did..  

 
I think it's lot more healthy to have normal bf/gf relationship and maybe in early 30s venture out into the fun activity. I was really immature when I started hobbying. I actually had to be sat down and talked to by some of the older, wiser DC mongers - some of them retired and moved on. Some of them no longer alive.

I joined the military after high school and just about a year later I was aboard ship and deployed overseas in a lot of countries. Some places we were there just a day or two, a week or two, up to a month. Being young, horny, single and with a fistful of dollars, getting laid was game one. Of course, back then I didn't look at it as hobbying, but it certainly was P4P. During my enlistment, I went overseas a few more times, and it was the same scene every time. I did not participate in P4P here in the States. Decades have passed since those days.

In its present-day form, my first hobbying experience with an escort was just over a decade ago. I did it for a few weeks or months, then stopped for a while, doing it only sporadically over the next several years. I picked it back up In earnest approximately 2017 or 2018. My most active years in it overall were 2020 and 2021. I have tapered off for the past four months but still at it.

Items number 3 and 6 on your list.  I don't necessarily disagree completely with the others, but I would add some comments to what you have said . . . .

 
1)  I can forgive minor mistakes, but this is a business, and expect to be treated like a valued customer.  If I needed a car and paid for a Mercedes, but the guy handed me the keys to a Chevy, I don't think anyone here would disapprove with me being angry or upset.  The same goes for THIS BUSINESS.  As long as there is full disclosure in the advertising and I am not  baited and switched on any aspect, I will usually be happy with the session.  

 

2)  This follows my comments on number 1.  If a girl is a newbie at providing, I don't want to be her lab rat while she learns on MY dime.  She has a duty to tell me if she is not experienced at the same level that I would expect from a provider with 3-5 years of experience. If she is charging market rates, she also has a duty to know how the business works and what proper etiquette is.  If you are willing to accept below-average haircut from someone still learning, you go to the barber school and pay $5 dollars to let them practice on you, knowing they are not licensed yet.  The same thing should apply to providers.  If they are not up to the usual standards on their skill level, they should either give a newbie disclaimer or charge an apprentice rate for the session.  

 

4)  I don't believe in sucking up or being disingenuous.  I have also learned that the only communication I should have with a provider is to book a session.  I'm not sure if you are saying providers or customers should send a thank you note.  If it's the provider, then I agree a thank you note is good business. If you are suggesting the customer send a thank you note, I would ask what the point would be?  The provider is likely to take it that you want to waste her time with OTC conversation, so she won't respond and then the customer gets upset that she did not engage with him for saying thank you.  This feeds the insecurity junkie.   I'm the customer and she is the seller.  She SHOULD say thank you to me, but my thank you will be the tip I left.  I don't have to ALSO thank her.  

 

5)  I agree there are often two camps here, but for me they are not guys vs. girls, they are the smart vs the stupid.  I treat the ladies the same as I do the guys.  If they say something smart, I will give them affirmation, and if they say something stupid, I will call them out and/or correct them.  For me, it doesn't matter what's between their legs.  It's not a gender issue.  

-- Modified on 4/13/2022 9:39:20 AM

no girl friend, and horny as hell.

 
I got a terrible 10 minute massage and HJ for $25 from a PYT, and decided to go back the next day for a terrible massage and BBJ - $40.   Now I was hooked.

that a charming lad like you wouldn't have a GF. LOL..

 
BTW, I wasn't born until 1981..

some of us were very shy.

And now in my late 50s.

Mostly in between girlfriends and SOs. Took months and occasionally years off.  

There was a 2 year period where all I did was hire 2 ladies to debauch each other while I watched. Still occasionally do that.

I've gotten jaded, bored, frustrated and even sad. But I always course correct back to this den of sin.  As long as there are hot girls willing to accept my money, and as long as I'm having fun, I'll be seated at the table.

Believe it or not, 47 years !

Mr Fisher has been hobbying for close to 50 yrs.. I have been hobbying for 20+ yrs, and Lopaw is also an experienced lady hobbyist, and inicky has fucked tons of women in US and abroad. .  

 
None of us on that branch are rookies..  So not sure to whom you are referring?

 
Do you just cut and paste the same recycled crap from old threads into random places? Giving you benefit of doubt that you might be looking at the thread in flat mode, you are nowhere close to being accurate.

I'm getting ready to put him on ignore. He's an annoying douchebag.

Only been at it about 5 years.

 
Never would have imagined paying for sex because of the hooker stereotype I had.

 
After reading an article about Backpage I started exploring BP and was intrigued by the pictures ladies posted. I started looking up all the acronyms I saw in the ads and found TER. I joined as a basic member and started reading reviews of ladies I thought were hot on BP. I got frustrated and paid for VIP and I was amazed at the reviews I read - I never imagined paid sex could be so, well, GFE. I didn't think that existed in the pay-4-play world. I thought it would all be mechanical and if that was the case I would just rather take care of myself.

 
After months of debate I decided to try it - I thought it would be a one-shot deal. First provider I saw was nice but after moving on and meeting other ladies I saw how lacking she was and so much for the one meeting. I got kind of hooked and have met the most amazing ladies I could have imagined. Some have been so-so but by far my experiences have been awesome. I met a new lady today in fact and had another amazing time.

On and off about 2 years over a 12 year period.  I hobby only when I am single.

He is good for a piñata though.. LOL.. I just responded to him whilst preparing my dinner.. I hardly put any time into it..  

 
Trust me.. Sooner or later he will go away when get gets smacked around a bit.

8 yrs. Wife and I had talked about it. We wouldn’t cheat on each other but we wanted some strange. I started out seeing a few ladies it was fun. Then we added one for a 3 way it was hot. After that we started swinging. We then realized both of us prefer just having another women so that really limits swinging. We are back to swinging since rates are fucking ridiculous.  

Started one month after the wife stopped giving BBBJ.  Took a 6 month break when Covid hit.  
Very first experience I was a bit nervous, fear of being arrested based on TV brainwashing.
Tips for others: 1) do your research/homework, and 2) be nice.

I started in 87 with AMPs for massage and bbbj. Took a break from 89-99 while in committed relationships. Started back with escorts in late 99 and have been at it ever since. Clearly a better and less expensive lifestyle when contrasted with the upkeep, maintenance and depreciation that comes with a relationship, plus the costs of divorce if you say “I do” in a moment of weakness.

Like Ericabc, I also don't monger when I'm in a serious relationship so there has been some breaks including a big one.

 

My tips?

Most important one.  

To both the providers and mongers : Don't Lie. Don't try to appear better than you really are. What goes around comes around.  

 
Providers, by lying about your pics, weight, appearance, age you are only making it worse for yourself. Yes, you gain money in the short term, but it's akin to a con. Be yourself.  A monger who is initially disappointed will be very hard to be swayed from his initial impression. He will feel as if you tricked him.  

 
To mongers: dont be afraid to write bad reviews if the providers warrant it. You help fellow mongers to avoid wasting time=money and being extremely disappointed. By being empathetic to bad providers and sweeping bad sessions under the rug, you only encourage bad behavior and fuck over fellow mongers. Your empathy is being used to fund bad sessions. Why would you wanna do that? Truth and accuracy > empathy. Some providers and agencies dont give a shit about mongers satisfaction as long as money comes in. You don't help by worrying about their business and enabling such providers to earn more money at expense of other mongers misery. Literally helping scammers. Don't.  

 
Don't use a review site as an advertising site. This is self-explanatory. Reviews are detailed evaluations of product and/or service. They are not ads aimed to help or hurt business. They are evaluations designed to help others understand whether the product/service is worth their time/money. In other words it's a performance review, NOT a referral.

 
The best providers are whose who truly care about their clients and vice versa. It's so obvious when providers care about money and don't give a shit about clients. Same goes the other way when/if you ignore a providers rules, etc.  

 
Providers... if you hate your job it's OK, those Ben Franklins are all 9999 FBSA. But don't get mad if mongers don't appreciate sour attitude. There are so many jobs that people hate but still are polite, use fake smiles and act as if they're engaged. While this may conflict with the "don't lie" part, showing that you don't care is rarely an asset.  

 
Providers, treat mongers as your equal, not as atm machines and dumb, fat, old loses. It is a business transaction where one side buys service and another sells. I know it might help your self esteem, but it doesn't help gain repeat customers when you do that.  

 
Mongers, listen to the feedback. Ask the provider often whether something is ok. Don't just assume shit. Same goes for poviders. Mutual communication is key.  

 
While I actually am OK with adversarial behavior if its warranted against some entities or in reviews or business practices, I'd leave it out of the session if possible. Give the provider/monger a chance and see how it goes. Adversarial behavior will help people in conflict, or in evaluation. It will not ever help in a session. Sure, if you try to diffuse a bad situation you might make it worse. But it's worth trying. After all, an adversarial situation during a session isn't what most consider a good session. Unless you're into some very very kinky bdsm rough stuff with safe words and such

I'm almost 50 and have been hobbying for nearly 20 years.  My first experience was in DC using Craigslist and Backpage; ironically, my first outcall appointment was not a scam and she was awesome so I was hooked.  It was like sitting down at the Blackjack tables and going all in on your first hand and getting 21!!  Anyway, wife was away for the weekend with the kids and I needed a little 'pick-me-up' on a Friday night.  Home.... Run.

My next few attempts from these sites were just as you would expect... train wrecks!  Obviously I was very inexperienced and knew nothing about TER.  

Then I took a trip to San Fran, booked a lady from Eros to come to my hotel that night.  I felt like I was learning a little bit as I had graduated from Backpage to Eros.  She showed up, typical scam, so I didn't even let her in the door.  I was not batting very well... maybe 2 for 8 at this point.  Frustrated, I found an 'experienced' provider on Eros and she came over right away.  She was a little older, but definitely wiser.  She started on the BBBJ and it took me by surprise because they had all been covered up until then.  We did things for the next 2 hours that legendary stories are made of.  Then she taught me all about TER and how to use it.  She was my Mrs. Robinson.  I got on the next day and, wow, it's been a wonderful 20 years since.  I have been on a decent break over the last 5 years, but I still check out the field from time to time wondering if I have what it takes to get back in.

I had to stop and think, but I started when I was 31 so it has been just over 50 years.  It started when a young lady providing a FBSM in a massage parlor asked me if I wanted more - which ended up with me following her when she went independent as an Escort.  That was great until she moved, but by then I was hooked.  Yellow pages ads, strip club extras, and then the internet.  I was out of circulation in the early 90's for ~6 years when I had an affair with my secretary/administrative assistant.
My performance abilities are limited now, but the ladies seem to understand and still provide a great service.  I'm livin' the DREAM!!!

It started as Curiousity at a DC Massage Parlor…the rest is history!  Like other gentlemen I have taken respites from the Hobby during LTR with civvies. I can honestly look anyone in the eyes and tell them I never cheated in a civvie relationship!

My first fuck was a hooker in 1977 when I was 19 yo.  I think I was in Djakarta, but it could have been Songkla.  I was a nerd, still am.  I sailed merchant ships until 2005.  Sometimes in port I actually went to museums, toured cool sites, and once I even picked fresh pineapples at the Dole plantation in Dadiangas.  But just at the end of every dock is a shitty bar with beer and strange that could lure me like Sirens.  I'd intend to explore classier parts of town and just get a couple beers and a handy, but I never rushed it.  Back in the days of break-bulk ships we'd spend three to ten days in port.

 

Perhaps the best port time I ever had was in Bangkok.  I hooked up with a pyt my age, who charged only $50 for five days I had off.   Doi and I visited some of her friends and family in a very rural setting.  I rode an elephant in a jungle by day and rode Doi at night in a stilted hut with a water buffalo below.  That was at her uncle's farm where he grew all kinds of odd veggies, raised weird ducks and milked the buffalo and some goats.  It was great having my idea of a girlfriend to share her actual lifestyle.  I kept in touch with Doi for a decade or so but I never made it back to Thailand.  I did develop similar relations with a gals in several other ports over the years; it does make for great GFE.

 

Containerships took over by the late 80's and I seldom had much time off in port.  By the time we got all our engineering duties done the ship would soon sail.  I remember calling the owner of the Black Angus in San Juan more than once begging him to have a gal ready for an emergency quicky.  I went to San Juan every week for 15 years and he'd happily oblige.

 

Back home I became involved with an on and off girlfriend.  I'd be loyal to her when it was on.  But twice she got married when I was out at sea.  And once she had a hiccup while blowing me a safe bon voyage.  She popped a blood vessel in my shank.  Boners hurt so bad they'd stop a wet dream.  So my mongering was interrupted off shore.  And aside from a few AMP's, hookers never crossed my mind stateside.

 

Soon after I retired in 2005 and started checking out escorts near home for the first time. I started with Backpage then found TER by 2007 or so.  I got back with hiccup lady for a few years and I was a good boy.  Now I want to venture back into the hobby.  Even if I hook up with hiccup lady again, she's over 60 now.  She looks 40 except where breast cancer stole a couple parts.  But she ghosted me in 2015 for a fourth time and really pissed me off.  I can afford the hobby so why not?

Started my voyage into hobbying ca. 2000 when I discovered the legal brothels in Nevada.  It was mainly just to have a good time, since I was single and didn't want to play the dating game with civvies.  I couldn't afford to take a chance seeing escorts/Indies back then, since it would have ended my career if I had any encounter with LE along the way.  The Nevada brothels are expensive due to the legal system, but I had fun during those early years.

 
A few years later when I was no longer a newbie in regards to P4P, some of the guys turned me onto the escort/indie scene and gave me advice on how to research providers, etc. using the various hobby sites.  I eventually started seeing some well reviewed providers during my trips to Las Vegas and also started seeing some local providers too. I did take a couple of short breaks from the hobby in-between, but once a hobbyist, always a hobbyist.  You're more or less in this for life, unless you take the plunge and get into a serious relationship.  

 
One thing that still on my bucket list is to visit Thailand, especially Pattaya, but I just can't get myself to book that long flight. LOL  Although, I've been to Tijuana a number of times, as well as Canada before they went to that stupid Nordic model.  Anyways, I'm now retired and still seeing some of my favorite providers.

-- Modified on 4/19/2022 9:23:21 PM

...off and on. The "off" times were when I was in a civvie relationship -- yeah, I know, I'm one of those oddballs who doesn't mix business and pleasure

It started for me at the Mustang Ranch in '92, months after my marriage was finally headed to divorce court.

I was in Reno on a business trip and decided to check it out. I was wary of AIDS, as that was quite a concern those days, and had read that the ladies at the Ranch were tested regularly. I thought it gave me better odds than a random pickup at a bar, so I sat in the bar area for a while to acclimate.

About 15 minutes later, they called a lineup of the women and DAMN! At least 30 women of all shapes, sizes and configurations were smiling at me. One in particular caught my eye and we went to her room.

Soon, I was enjoying My Very First Blowjob (no, that's not from Fisher-Price!). Sad, ain't it? Also one of the reasons my 20-year marriage was headed to divorce court.

30 years later and still having fun!

That scene must have been cut from the documentary.

Maybe it's in the Director's Cut.

END OF MESSAGE

First time with a provider was in '99 when I was 17, my cousin took me to a brothel in Bali. Terrible experience lol.  

My entire family is pretty open about the transactional nature of sex. Grandpa ran a brothel in the Netherlands. I've got cousins who are actresses, sister was a dancer in college, brother was same sex provider (surprise 99% of clients we "straight" married men). I worked as a bartender in gay clubs and made great tips lol. Was married to a provider for 8yrs (no did not meet as a client). As far as I know my parents are the only ones who have never dabbled in the whole family. I've only had one serious romantic relationship with a woman who was not in someway involved in adult entertainment.  

Took breaks during the marriage and the other relationship and then to launch my companies.

With all that said I'm still pretty inexperienced as I typically stick with 1 or 2 providers max and stay with them as long as they'll have me. I'm a decent looking dude, educated, traveled, and successful. Don't struggle meeting civies but first time is usually not great. Same with providers. Having the same regular provider lets me build a bond/relationship without actually having to commit. Commitment for me is tough because I'm married to my job and my dick ain't good enough for women to accept a man who works 75hrs/wk and is out of town 50% of the time.  

With the great post Covid migration my last provider recently moved away. So this year I've probably seen more providers than I ever have from fbsm to fs. So I signed back up on here until I find my next regular.

Who knows, maybe someday I'll try the white picket fence thing with a cheating spouse like normal people.