Despite provider BS, most girls hate the johns they see!

Many hate themselves and low self esteem as well.  But make no mistake, most girls do NOT LIKE YOU, and want you out the door. (there are a few exceptions).  Next time you think that girl really LIKES you --- ask her if she'll see you for dinner and  a night of sex off the clock???  Maybe then some of your fantasy hallucinations will come back to reality.

Most providers barely TOLERATE their johns, and the honest ones will admit it.

That must have been like a slap in the face.
Did she catch herself saying it and apologize?
I have always spent more time with my dates and have never watched the clock.
Believe me we are all not like that.

Yep

For the amounts we have to pay they can try to act like they give a shit. I make $18 an hour with my job and I do my best to make people think they are not a bunch of dumb SOB's. If I was making $200 to $500 or more an hour I could act like people were my best friends. Just try a little harder is all.

that she is turned off by you, or any client.  That doesn't excuse her poor manners in telling you exactly how many minutes you had left.  That was rather tacky.  But, she may have had another appointment in a half hour (hope she didn't book one to show up in 5 minutes!!).  

Also, I'm not sure where you're getting your information on percentages of escorts who are "turned off by the guys they see" - 98%, but that's a pretty high figure, based on??  Personally (and you can choose to think this is pure BS or not) I like my clients because I like people....period.  And, I like what I do, and I like myself.  

The conflict that I have, personally, being in this business lies in how the general public views the profession.  We are stereotyped and not understood.  And, there is no one on earth that can change that, so we have to really know ourselves and be OK with the value that we have here, in order to feel alright with what we are doing, knowing that those folks don't have a clue.  

In fact, you don't have a clue, come to think of it, from reading what you've said.  

The general female sexual impulse is a hypergamous one -- meaning that she is entirely happy to have sex with a man so long as she perceives him to be THE BEST.

How she defines "best" depends upon her value system. Maybe that's the preacher in town (status), a politician (power). CEO (money), gangster (strength), college professor (intelligence) or whatnot. It really varies a lot, thank goodness. Of course, how high the woman reaches in those arenas depends to some degree on the perception of her own value in the mating market. But it is my impression that 90%+ of women, even in civie life, believe that to some degree they have settled or compromised and ended up with a bum deal.

So just on that basis alone, it stands to reason that most escorts (being women) would be less than thrilled with most clients because most clients would not fit their definition of THE BEST.

Okay -- so I will concede that though I have no special insight into the matter (i.e. it is NOT something I generally discuss with escorts of my acquaintance), it would make sense that most escorts aren't sexually thrilled with their clients.

HOWEVER -- that does NOT mean that they do not respect their clients or value them as worthwhile human beings. I know plenty of escorts who go out of their way to establish selection criteria such that they will be able to enjoy the company of the men they see in SOME way, and that the men they see are perceived to be in some way deserving or worthy of the sex (with some $ of course) even if they are not quite THE BEST.

Then, I am sorry, but there IS a perception that anyone who is seeing an escort is doing so because he HAS to pay for sex due to some disqualifying factor.

Just as a man who has already been "taken" is automatically seen as more valuable and attractive by other women; there is a wide perception that any man who pays for sex has a high likelihood of being unable to get it otherwise and is thus a "loser."

Obviously, this is not always the case. It is a stereotype. When I hobbied, I did so as a way to avoid leaving a trail of broken-hearted civie women in my wake. Other men go that route in order to have discretion in their affairs etc.

Some providers do quite well at dispensing with those stereotypes and being able to tell the difference, and others don't. There are certainly providers out there who believe anyone who sees them, just by virtue of seeing them, is automatically a loser and unworthy of their attention -- possibly even with the payment. I can't deny this because a lot of providers have openly posted that this is the case. BUT -- there are providers who don't see things this way, or at least extend the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.

Of course, there ARE stereotypes in the other direction. There are stereotypes that providers are disingenuous, untrustworthy, cunning, manipulative, substance abusing, entitled, only providing because of their desire for symbols of status they cannot legally earn, etc. And quite a few men who see escorts hold the very girls with whom they have sex in low regard by default, especially when their experiences reinforce those stereotypes.

Likewise, due to the biological nature of men who are programmed to avoid supporting the offspring of competing males; in many cases the monopolizing impulse of men is in serious conflict with holding a woman who clearly has tons of sex partners in the same regard that he would hold a corresponding civie woman. Some providers who are wise to this advertise themselves as having a tiny number of partners due to high rates, etc. I haven't studied how effective this is. But it is widely known that the rates of abuse (and sexual abuse) by stepfathers is higher than biological fathers.

So just as hobbyists have to face some degree the concealed or even barely concealed low regard in which some percentage of escorts hold them -- and often have to sublimate that idea in their mind just to see an escort; escorts likewise have to put out of their head the possibility that the hobbyist sees them as less than wholesome.

A lot of this, as mentioned, has a biological component. But we are not wholly products of our genes. As humans, we have an ability to self-direct our personal evolution and can make choices that will reinforce the positive rather than the negative.

So the fact that such attitudes exist is not inevitable. It is something we can control.

I believe most of my meetings with escorts were meetings in which both the woman and I held each other in high esteem. This was accomplished by good selection criteria on the part of both parties. So the experiences were mutually beneficial and reinforced positive attitudes and expectations. Do I believe I was "mate" material for all those women? Hopefully they have better taste than that! lol! But I DO believe they genuinely like me as a person and respect me as a worthwhile human being, and that's enough.

These sorts of positive outcomes are a result of our conceptions, values and consequent choices. A mutually respectful and uplifting environment IS possible. I know this because in the last three years I hobbied, I had refined it to such a degree that I literally never had a bad appointment and am still on good human terms with every woman I saw.

The world is, in large measure, what you make it. If you are living in a cesspool, it is because the values you used to choose your environment and partners resulted in that. Re-examining premises and applying different choices will lead to a better and more positive environment for all.

Any competent deadbeat knows you NEVER ask her how much time is left. You just keep going like you would with a hot civvie chick until she kicks you out of bed and pushes you out the door.

Oh yes, when one becomes a provider all personal obligations, responsibilities, normal errands, and duties just disappear and you know longer have to deal with any of them!

You never have anywhere to be, your family and friends no longer call you for favors, your children and pets miraculously become self sufficient, you can just walk into any doctor or dentist office and just see them when you want, groceries materialize in your kitchen, your dry cleaning brings itself home, and your family doesn't age or ever need any help with anything!

It's Great! Ha Ha

of ALL providers---err....98% of them.....?

Just because ‘you’ would be the one kicking a civie girl out the door is irrelevant. You’re not seeing a civie girl. You are paying for an agreed upon amount of time with a professional.

Your gripe seems to be that she was keenly aware of the time. But, why shouldn’t she be? You asked her how much time was left. She told you. How, exactly, do you figure this as her nickle and diming you? Or, proves your point that 98% of escorts are turned off by the guys they see?

When I see a LMT for an hr massage, when the time is up, the time is up. Right on the minute.

I recently bit for a 1hr session with a personal trainer at my gym. Guess what? Session stopped at exactly one hr.

I regularly schedule a set amount of time with a customer to assist with a problem. And quite frequently, if we are not completely finished within the time scheduled, if I have the time, I will continue the discussion until we are finished regardless of how long that takes; especially if the customer is one with whom I have a long-standing relationship.  But, sometimes, regardless of who the customer is, I HAVE to stop at exactly the end of time scheduled because I have another commitment.

Should I assume the LMT is  “turned off” by me? Or that the personal trainer despised me? Should my customers assume I don't like them?

but to correct your approximate statement of time was RUDE!  And unnecessary.  
Good providers MUST manage their time.  I have had to ask about the time when I could not see a clock in the room.   Interestingly on of my Favorite ladies...  is in no rush to have me leave, often has me stay well beyond the time though we are dressed & sharing refreshments by then...  I found she has a small clock that she can see, though I could not.   Some track time through music tracks.  Others just have a good sense.   Most of my Favorite ladies are very relaxed about the time...  we generallly play for the specified times but there is no rush to dress, snack or even share a meal which ends up being off the clock.  
It may be that is why I have gravitated to these Favs?

I can't imagine any other reason for correcting the five minutes to four, vs. simply saying "Yes, about five."  Unless she was really not enjoying the time so much that she was counting down to the last minute.  I imagine that could happen...

Ignore the stereotypes and the poster who threw out the garbage 98% figure.  Yes, there are some providers who despise themselves, the work they do, and thus the clients by default.  In the pool I play in, you can reverse the stats thrown your way.  Most of the ladies I know actually enjoy many of their clients, love the work and the flexibility and freedom it provides, and love to have playtime vs. time at an office desk.  (Not to say there are not... errr... difficulties and challenges, or bad days.)

As has been said by several in this thread in response to Mr. 98%, awareness and respect for time is not an indication that a provider despises you, it is simply the way of any professional.  My personal trainer, massage therapist, various consultants (etc.) do not give me free time.  Some I consider friends, some not.  Regardless, I do not believe there is one in the bunch who disrespects me or views me in a negative fashion.




-- Modified on 9/16/2011 10:34:06 AM

I'm definitely not a clock watcher, and I usually go over at least 15 minutes.  I always ask my clients at the beginning of the session if they have any time constraints, and I explain to them that if I go over their scheduled time, it's on me

All the previous posts are very interesting and simply point out once again the many ways our personalities and experiences shape how we see things.
You asked how long. She answered in a precise manner. She may simply be a very precise person. Many are not. There is no way of knowing why she pointed out what to you was a minor distinction. It isn't safe to assume it was for negative reasons. It is what it is. I'd have thought nothing of her saying what she said. I tend to be a precise person. Especially when it comes to the time and money of someone else. If they show me in some way that they are more relaxed about it, then I will be more relaxed about it as well but would never take advantage. You didn't say if this was the first time with this provider. If it was then maybe with more visits trust will be built and this will be something to laugh about in the future.

I just don't see going negative right off the bat. But, that's my personality and experience.

It may not be the provider it could be you. If you asked the provider "How much time we have left? 5?" And she replies "No it's 4". The you can't get mad at her. You asked the question, and she gave you an honest answer.

I personally for one never spend the entire hour or thirty minutes with just straight sex. when I set up a 60min session, before or after the mainevent, the provider, and myself will chit chat for about 15 to 20mins, and have actually sex for about 35 to 40mins.

As others have said, this is her job and professian.  I love my career dearly, and I love what may career has given me the ability in at so many levels. However when the clock hit 4:30pm, It's time for Magic to go home.

I'm in the other 2% . I want both of us to enjoy our experience together.

And don't give me anything like she advertised GFE. If you're expecting GFE then don't book just one hour, try 2 or 4 hrs.

I mean really.......Doesn't you attorney bill you by the min, per fax, per piece of paper, plus make you wait in the loby to see them? Does your account do the same thing? Your Dr. bills you per the visit, but he heards you through like cattle and makes you wait for long periods of time after your set appointment time......just to see him. Does that mean that they all hate you, no it means they have a business to run. I'm good friends with my attorney, and that doesn't change the fact of is business. Sure he wont kick me out, if I want to talk sports for an hour during my appointment he doesn't care and I don't either but I still get the bill for deciding who to paly in fantasy football this week.

It's thier business, they could have 100 reasons why but none of them matter. Why, because it's THEIR BUSINESS. If you expect more or want more then PAY FOR IT and quit bitching.

...I'd say your characterization is at least 98% in conflict with the fabulous encounters I've had.  I must just be very lucky!

Your 98% figure is an exaggeration. However one can find studies that  indicating that over 50% of Providers would leave the profession if they could and that would be consistent with my experience.  I also expect the larger percentage of Providers  are coerced and/or trapped in this profession by circumstances and need to sell their body to pay bills and support family or otherwise engage in survival sex.  These women are pushed into providing by poverty and a lack of viable economic alternatives. Becoming a Provider is often really a choice limited to between prostitution and other unpleasant alternatives.