TER General Board
It depends how you see yourself .
If you see yourself as somehow less than you are (which doesn't feel at all like you, incidentally, so I doubt you do) then she picked a bad person with whom to share her feelings. If you see yourself as a bright woman who has special knowledge about the relations between men and woman and special skills at getting to the heart of men's feelings about intimacy and sex, then you know she picked the perfect person. I think she picked the perfect person.
So as it turns out I have a friend who doesn't know what I do at all. She is completely uninvolved in this sort of world of ours and clueless to any of it as would be most of us prior to getting into the hobby on either side .
She came to my home today and started to tell me a story of her husband who she recently foud out is in fact going to at the very least AMP and she is livid . For those of you who know me you know this is precisely how I came to this business .She is aware of my ex's escapades and so decided I was the person to talk to about this. Great ....
She is actually very calm for a angry lady but she seems to really feel beyond cheated but she feels it is her turn now. I found that to be somewhat astounding really because I did not feel that way when I found out about my ex at that time.
I would imagine she isn't going to have alot of trouble finding someone to accomodate her she is very atractive really. BTW this is not me being a dating service no I will not set you up with her lol
I was very uncomfortable as I am now a provider with trying to comfort someone who is in this position I feel like a hypocrite honestly.What's your take? Could she have picked a worse person to talk to about this btw lol . Kendall
if she got into this bisiness via revenge she may end up hating herself afterwards. She may kill her self esteem outside of the business if revenge leads to bad experiences because her haert ain't in it.
If she confronted him and he is still going to keep doing it, she needs to make a decisssion for herself about what she is going to do with her relationship. If she gets into this business without a clear head she may end up making mistakes and getting hurt or ending up with silver braclets.
She needs a freind to talk to her straight right now. If she lives sex and wants to do the bizz after that, welcome her with open arms! My .02
She is not in this business at all and isn't looking to be . I am sorry if I was unclear she is a civi .Kendall
Sounds like she's just looking for a friend who shares common ground to listen to her. There's no law that says you have to divulge to her that you're a provider. Just listen, be a friend, and maybe it'll all work out. But that's just my take.
I agree with jhb... She's not interested in "providing" just "cheating to get even". I don't know if that'll make her feel better or not.
Kendall, I understand your discomfort because many clients are probably married. You need to compartmentalize that personna and your Best Friend personna... I mean they know each other but there's not cross over.
Back to "cheating to get even" It might be fun or not. I doubt it will make her feel better. It might restore some of her self confidence since her DH is at least partially rejecting her. (Prefers AMP)
She needs to seek counciling for herself, to decide what her options are, what she wants, and then to act on it. If this is disloyal to the males here, sorry.
At some point, he'll have to look at his options & discover which doors are open & which are closed forever.
Getting even is not revenge. Moving on with your life & being happy... That's revenge!
skb
-- Modified on 10/15/2008 7:01:21 AM
have no clue of our private life. I have had three girlfriends who caught their husbands cheating.It is a very uncomfortable place to be in and a women scorned usually makes no sense at all.
As a friend the best you can do is listen and try to make your friend take her time and think things through. Sometimes in haste we women let our emotions get the better of us only to be sorry later.
You are not a hypocrite and you also know first hand why men seek out our company. One of my friends stayed married and they are very happy while the other two divorced and moved on.Once her pain and hatred calmed down you will be able to ask questions girl to girl which will give some insight into the relationship she had
and help her think things through.
You are the best person for her to talk with since you know both sides of the issue.
By the way, at best he got a handjob. Would Ex President Clinton say that was sex?
Kisses Haley
... a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion; a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings.
I think it is possible to lend an ear to her without compromising your values. You can validate her feelings, and give her insight into what her husband may be thinking.
Religion is like that for me. I have a strong intellectual understanding, I believe it at an intellectual level, but I haven't internalized it. Because of my intellectual understanding, I can even help lead people to God, or help them understand the religion better.
Am I a hypocrite? I don't think so. I make no pretense of being sinless ("all we are like sheep and have gone astray and have turned each other to their own way"). I don't hold myself out as virtuous, just informed. I don't state what my belief's are, I state what the religion believes.
Now, if you think she is full of it, that guys will be guys, etc. then you might want to be discerning in what you say.
If you see yourself as somehow less than you are (which doesn't feel at all like you, incidentally, so I doubt you do) then she picked a bad person with whom to share her feelings. If you see yourself as a bright woman who has special knowledge about the relations between men and woman and special skills at getting to the heart of men's feelings about intimacy and sex, then you know she picked the perfect person. I think she picked the perfect person.
Thanks Doc and all. I appreciate the kind words. I do think she left here somehow feeling better about herself at very least she felt heard. Have an awesome night ,Kendall
I would just boost her confidence. Tell her he's the crazy one and that she just needs to find a man that will treat her the way she wants to be treated. Tell her she is too good to go for revenge and that there is someone out there that would be glad to take his place the right way instead of just for one night. I did that whole scenario when I found out about my husband and here I am. LOL! Turns out it worked out for me but this hobby isn't for everyone. You know your friend better than any one of us. Do you think she would be happy in our community or with someone that is just her's?
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