That maybe she is a provider who does not pre-screen.When you sent her the request did you include the date and time of the appt?It could be she did not get back to you because the appt request is too far in advance for her.There are some providers who will pre-screen a gent no problem and there are others who think pre-screening is a waste of time.Or they will not contact your reference until right before the appt to make sure you are still interested.Doesn't sound like LE since you said she has reviews but maybe just a provider who does not really deal with pre-screening.
I welcome pre-screening and advance notice but I have heard from some gents who sent pre-screening requests to a few providers and never heard back.Every provider is different.If the provider who you are using as a reference you have seen multiple times and she said feel free to use her as a reference I don't think she would deliberately give a bad reference in order to keep seeing you.
As far as agencies go I do not accept agency references there are many providers who don't and there are some that do.
My only exception to this rule is an agency who is local to my area.
Also,there are some agencies who are not reference friendly to independent providers. Perhaps sending another email to the provider you are interested in and ask if she has contacted your reference yet or does she need any other info.I would also ask if she accepts pre-screening requests. Good luck I hope it works out for you.
-- Modified on 3/1/2014 7:25:48 PM
I had a guy call me for appointment.He gave 5 references.Only 2 escorts helpful with references.Nothing from other escorts.Non reference friendly -Cock blockers don't want money going to other escorts.Hobbyists don't allow cock blockers to fuc* up hobbyists FUN.
I had a guy call me for appointment today.He gave 3 references.Nothing from none of references.Cock blockers don't want money going to other escorts.
Is it possible that the providers who were being used as a reference are not reference friendly?
References are nice but certainly not required if I waited around for a reference to get back to me every time I would not have that much business.
Also you never know another provider's situation maybe she was not available,out of town,etc.
References are a courtesy not a requirement.
Just my .02
References from providers are great and very helpful but not foolproof. Plus I am pretty quick myself to respond to other providers but sometimes I am busy and have stuff going on so I might not get back to the lady right away.
We as providers should know more then one way to verify our clients. We have to keep ourselves safe and our clients safe as well.
I do screening on hobbyists. Escorts don't want to help references checks.Cock blockers don't want money going to other escorts..
I had not idea how down right catty and nasty women could be until I started asking for references. One told me she would give me a reference to her provider friend. At the time they were in a lesbian relationship, Living together (something I did not know at the time). When I asked for a reference they had broken up. And that is when the nastiness began between both of them
That's not escort to escort, that was a broken friendship/relationship, people do hurtful things like that. You are saying "that is when the nastiness began".
Another time I asked for a reference. The provider giving the reference did different things.
1. One time she called me on a Sunday afternoon (when I was traveling on vacation with family) to say she was giving the reference. It was a good thing I did not answer the phone. This is something she clearly could have done in email. My SO gave me grief asking who was calling lol.
2. Another time a provider complained that I was paying another one more money that her.
With all the BS going on with bad guys and LE I understand why providers need/require references.
are some providers who will return a reference request promptly.
Considering the scenario you described I can see how that reference request went wrong.lol
-- Modified on 3/1/2014 7:23:49 PM
I rarely contact a provider for reference unless I can't verify the guy via other methods .... In hobbying there are so many tools/outlets to verify a client, when I started 2 yrs ago, I did ask for references & out of frustration of lack of providers responding or even at a timely manner, I only do reference contact to to another as a last resort... Google, employment,member IDs, their reviews, along w/provider friendly verification sites.. It's not complex to verify someone... But I do require the hobbyists to send along w/their verification names of the most current 2 providers they have seen & then proceed to check those providers out to see if they are reputable... But everyone has their own methods so whatever's easy for but don't let your client wait cuz someone isn't responding to your reference request... Lol good luck!!!
That's why escorts don't help references checks.
Providers have everyday lives like everyone else, we get busy, we take vacations, some providers have a significant other & kids... Others have other jobs... We all get busy ... I know when I'm on a break from providing or have a huge test coming up, my provider life is out on the shelf, which means I do not check emails/texts/take calls/view TER or any other provider sites... That doesn't mean I don't want/or am trying to cock block it just means I'm BUSY!! Lol... Maybe ur right there may be those who are petty & cock block.. But don't let a few non responses paint a picture of all provider mannerisms ... 
-- Modified on 3/1/2014 4:44:56 PM
1. Don't assume that and put yourself in bad light that you're jumping to conclusions, that will just create more frustration.
2. Did you ask them nicely? Could you improve your way of requesting or let them know it's time sensitive
I told my regular that she may be getting reference calls from a couple ladies. She said that she knew already and I could tell that she wasn't happy about it. I explained that there were some things not on her menu that I wanted to check off my bucket list. I didn't want to ask her to do it just to keep me as a regular, that I would rather outsource that and keep our relationship inside her comfort zone. I assured her that I would continue to be her regular, that I wasn't shopping for a new regular. She felt better after that, but still gives me some jabs about it that are pretty funny. She guards her regulars (=steady, known, safe income), I think mostly because that's all she sees. She isn't taking on any new clients.
I have put in 2 or 3 appointment requests to see a lady and I've included a reference. I've seen the lady I used for a reference 4 times and she's always offered to give a reference, I think I trust her enough to be confident that she means that. So, this provider I sent reference info to, we've emailed back and forth a few times in an attempt to pre screen me and after I sent her the reference haven't heard back from her. I live a 2 hour drive from the nearest hobby city, this ladies city, and it's a BP only city. This lady is a BP lady but she also has a few reviews in here so I wanted to pre screen and then I could schedule an appointment to come see her. what I don't want is to drive 2 hours get a hotel room and then not be able to get a hold of her. Does all of this sound like LE practice, I'm not in any way shape or form LE. I wonder if I did something to spook her. I would be a regular of hers. The next closest hobby city is a 4 1/2 hour drive (with no traffic) and I'm not willing to do that as often. One would think my reference lady gave me a good reference, I mean she continues to see me. But I also thought about the whole cock block thing and maybe she purposely gives a bad reference so that (in her mind) I only go back to her. I think I trust her enough that I don't believe that is true but you never know. Perhaps this new girl is just a flake, advertising on BP would suggest so, although one of my favorites (and it seems she is other hobbyists favorite) advertises on BP, she also has her own site too. I've also seen agency girls (reputable agencies) and that doesn't seem to be a good reference tool, even though the agency screened me and verified me. I'd be open to constructive suggestions/guidance about the whole reference system
That maybe she is a provider who does not pre-screen.When you sent her the request did you include the date and time of the appt?It could be she did not get back to you because the appt request is too far in advance for her.There are some providers who will pre-screen a gent no problem and there are others who think pre-screening is a waste of time.Or they will not contact your reference until right before the appt to make sure you are still interested.Doesn't sound like LE since you said she has reviews but maybe just a provider who does not really deal with pre-screening.
I welcome pre-screening and advance notice but I have heard from some gents who sent pre-screening requests to a few providers and never heard back.Every provider is different.
If the provider who you are using as a reference you have seen multiple times and she said feel free to use her as a reference I don't think she would deliberately give a bad reference in order to keep seeing you.
As far as agencies go I do not accept agency references there are many providers who don't and there are some that do.
My only exception to this rule is an agency who is local to my area.
Also,there are some agencies who are not reference friendly to independent providers.
Perhaps sending another email to the provider you are interested in and ask if she has contacted your reference yet or does she need any other info.I would also ask if she accepts pre-screening requests.
Good luck I hope it works out for you.
-- Modified on 3/1/2014 7:25:48 PM
ok ok that's waaay harsh Look, I'm a girl's girl. There are a couple ladies here who have really helped me fumble my way into independent providing. Girls I have never met. I'd name them in thanks but not sure if that would be appreciated or considered a no-no (still fumbling). That kind of kindness stems from confidence. Why cock block? Kitty no keep em coming?
I've emailed 3 ladies to screen 1 guy and it always raises an eyebrow when 2 say green light and one says no repeat. I listen to the 1 since safe is better than sorry.
Not responding is one thing, actually could be many things so I make no judgements when that happens. However giving a bad reference about a good guy is fucked up. Stop trying to ruin the free love essence of this whole thing (insert obvious joke here). Nobody I see will ever have to worry about it. Go! Play! Live! Love! and if your a good guy expect I will give a good reference. The negative-conniving-my regular-your atf aspect is played. Looking at our reviews it's obvious many of us have seen the same guys, basically like virtual sister-wives. Act accordingly.
I've seen 2 guys whom I've gotten mixed references from, one whom I didn't find out was a flake until via Providers email thread after I saw him, he ended up being a sweet guy, even though he's hygiene was very very poor (he repeated already). 2nd guy (only could verify via references cuz no other outlets) was given a NO REPEAT from a top provider but the other 2 he saw 1 another top provider & the other a newbie gave him an okay.... I ended up giving him a chance & wow, he's a gem (already repeated 3x w/in a mo. & each session got longer & longer along w/donations)..... Never judge a client by what one provider say, I can understand you declining someone if he's getting NO SEE by everyone he's been with but every person has a different experience w/each person encountered... They may not of clicked.... I was alarmed to find couple of my great clients (whom I've seen on multi occasions) on the national blacklist....
Purposely give the names of references they know will not reply. They then hope the lady will take a chance on them anyway...since they gave references and all. Not their fault that the girls didn't reply (so they hope the lady will think).
Anyway...yea, some women are not reference friendly. Why let it ruin your day or affect how you run your business? Just remember, what goes around comes around.
for any providers I have ever contacted.
I DO know that I have a long list of Date-Check and P411 references and provide the information requested to screen. Usually in my initial contact email. If you need more, just ask.
If 2 respected escorts provide a thumbs up for me in addition to all that... and you still have a problem with it... we shouldn't meet.
In that situation, I literally ignore the communication from the provider. I'm not cock-blocking or trying to be unhelpful, but it's common courtesy to let someone know if you're going to use them as a reference in anything. Any man who will simply take the liberty of offering me up to vouch for him without contacting me first gets under my skin.
I agree, but before you get angry at the guy be aware that sometimes it happens without their knowledge. I tried to book with an agency here in LA at one time and they asked for my TER id, which I gave (ya ya I know - won't do that again). Anyway when I asked whether I had cleared screening she said she hadn't finished contacting all the girls I had reviewed. I had no idea that she planned to do this, the fallout wasn't bad because thankfully each girl was fairly understanding
While that might be true in the normal world, it's really not one of those lines you can't cross here. It's nice for a guy to let a girl know before using her as a reference, sure. Some do, some don't. I really don't care, either way, and I don't expect to be asked first. If I get a reference request, I'll reply to the girl - just as I'd hope she would do, if I were the one asking.
Some girls will actually harass a guy asking for a reference - will tell him to book another appt and THEN she will give him one, or will say, "Oh, if you're going to XXX...just fly ME in". Both have happened to clients of mine. So the guy might simply be trying to avoid the arguments/cattiness that we KNOW they have all faced if they do this enough....
At least the guy is GIVING references...he could just refuse to be screened at all, to try to escape BS like this.
Why penalize the girl for something that you perceive as rudeness on the guy's part
If a girl refuses or harasses over a reference, move on to the next. The same girl who would do that if you asked would also bad mouth you to another provider, so, why would you not ask her first to make sure she's not BSC or jealous or anything else? That logic doesn't make sense at all.
Some girls will actually harass a guy asking for a reference - will tell him to book another appt and THEN she will give him one, or will say, "Oh, if you're going to XXX...just fly ME in". Both have happened to clients of mine. So the guy might simply be trying to avoid the arguments/cattiness that we KNOW they have all faced if they do this enough....
At least the guy is GIVING references...he could just refuse to be screened at all, to try to escape BS like this.
Why penalize the girl for something that you perceive as rudeness on the guy's part?
Is that of a provider. I am a chick.
My point was that the guy expecting a reference without asking is not doing anything wrong. He is not violating hobby etiquette or even putting you out very much.
Maybe by your standards, his behavior is egregious. But in my opinion, much more harm is done by your refusal to give a reference, than by a client expecting you to make a 10-second reply to another girl's inquiry.
If you were in the other girl's position...you would benefit from receiving the reference. How does your refusal to give one help anybody?
But I guess that is not something you are concerned with.
Some girls will actually harass a guy asking for a reference - will tell him to book another appt and THEN she will give him one, or will say, "Oh, if you're going to XXX...just fly ME in". Both have happened to clients of mine. So the guy might simply be trying to avoid the arguments/cattiness that we KNOW they have all faced if they do this enough....
At least the guy is GIVING references...he could just refuse to be screened at all, to try to escape BS like this.
Why penalize the girl for something that you perceive as rudeness on the guy's part?
For a lot of reasons.
First and foremost though, you are actively trying to fuck with another girls money, and that's awful. No matter how you try and spin it, you are causing her to possibly miss out on an appointment because why? "it gets under your skin" to have a guy give out your publicly available information so that you can vouch that he is safe? No. You get jealous when someone else gets to see one of your clients.
It may SEEM like not such a big deal to you, but it's a huge deal to someone else. You are putting a girls financial security, and if she's stupid her safety, at risk because you want a guy to ask you permission to fuck someone else. You could at least have the decency to message a girl back and say "could you have him shoot me a message and remind me of our time together?"
UGH, I cannot even with girls who are petty like this. I'm actually glad I saw this post. I've gotten a couple guys who've given you as a reference, and now I know that I can tell them I simply won't accept your word as any good.