Received a startling email from a female friend of a past client tonight.  She notified me of his passing away.

He'd had two wishes before he took his own life, regarding delivering messages to his mother and to a certain woman he loved, but to whom he broke off early so as not to be hurt.  Didn't give the friend her name.  Not sure if she was I, but in any case, the friend contacted me tonight and over many emails told me of his life in the past few years since we last met.

Still hoping this is a cruel joke.  He was an incredible person, so talented, gifted, and with a pure heart....

Am devastated....  If any of you knew him, it's garrett1142, a young, 24-y-o now, exceptionally polite man wise beyond his years.  Again, hoping it's not true and will eagerly laugh when you tell me it was a prank.

Miss him tremendously, and so sad for the pain he suffered, pain which I often recognized in his eyes and in our late nights talking....  Wish he had contacted me again since '03.  Would have been such an eager friend!!!

Again, praying this is a joke.

Spoke with this platonic friend of Garrett's at length tonight, and all seems unfortunately true, though still wishing it's a prank.  So sad to see a bright, talented, beautiful spirit suffer such grief, and go too soon and in such sadness.....

Why was this guy seeing providers at such a young age? While I was in collage, I was got all the free sex I ever wanted.

-- Modified on 5/31/2006 4:17:24 AM

That's terrible, AJ.  Words fail me, I'm not sure what to say.

You've got my condolences.  Hang in there.

Hello All,

I am the one who originally delivered the news of Garrett's passing.

The only assurance that I can provide that this is NOT a joke is that I could never imagine putting anyone through anything so cruel and difficult. It's hard for me to believe that anyone would go to such a great extent for a hoax. I apologize for such a solemn topic in your web community.

Garrett spoke of a woman who was a mentor to him in all things.

He developed a very deep an meaningful connection with her, but never expressed to her how he felt.

It is very important to him...me...and everyone who cares about him that his message is delivered.

If you remember having such a connection with Garrett1142, please post to this forum so that there might be some hope that his wishes are carried out.  

I need to ask that this is taken very seriously. I wish to avoid having to sort through a sea of smartass reply's to find this woman.

I hope you're out there.

Thank you.

Wow – there has to be quite a story here.  Rich guy in early 20s (must be rich given how many reviews…) reviews 27 high class escorts in 7 months then stops submitting reviews and gets a steady girlfriend… then his last posting in 6/2005 is from HIS GIRL FRIEND… and then 1 year later he kills himself??!!!

His girlfriend states: “…my father murdered my mother and then he killed himself when I was five years old.  I have no family at all.”  And so it goes on…

It’s like a huge rorschach blot of a story that we may each read into it what we want or are most afraid of…

…and I didn’t know the guy!  I can only imagine what it is like for the 27 women he reviewed (plus?) who may get wind of this – just from a sample of his reviews it is clear he chose some of the classiest women in the biz – and in this biz class = heart and a lot of inner complexity and real emotion.

Andrea, my heart goes out to you.  Thank you for sharing this info and your caring.  There are many of us “clients” who will not take your comments as an invitation to trivialize or argue about things that don’t matter.  If you are comfortable please let us (or PM me) how you are doing and any info you have about this story.

There is a hug at the end of the visit… the hug that costs nothing but attention, that recognizes whatever real contact there was…  We are humans with only so much time on this earth.  This time is priceless.

Namaste’

I have a couple younger clients.... it isn't a matter of not being able to ..."get free sex" (to use the poster's words) as much as it might be better in the long run to enjoy the time of a professional. Thank you for bringing up the points.

For anyone who knew this gentleman, I am sorry for your loss.....  ~T

Andrea, will you please, email me when you can.
[email protected]

Thank you,
Farrah Leah

Maybe the girl you are looking for is "babecandy".  I don't think she hangs around TER anymore...although she may return due to recent events.  I feel bad for the guy.  I myself formerly used another TER name that did not hide my identity very well.  Lucky I was able to change ID's  when I realized googling a TER name  brings up TER posts.

Garrett dropped out of the hobby after falling in love with a civvie...but failed to delete his TER reviews and posts, which he could have done.  Apparently this was a major factor in his undoing.

-- Modified on 5/31/2006 4:59:30 PM

This might have been his feeling.... (If you know this Ray Charles song, it fits him perfectly.)

Garrett was profoundly deep and intelligent.  Extraordinarily beyond the average men and women his age (was 21 y-o when we knew each other).  In people who are so different, often a loneliness ensues, as they are bored by the activities and lack of perspective in those their own age/ their milieu.

He was quite attractive, tall, slim, polite, and well-spoken.  He was an old soul in a young man's body.

So he often preferred to be by himself rather than out in a scene where people didn't understand him.  Sure, he could have had scores of young women, but he wasn't one who would take advantage of someone just for physical pleasure when he didn't actually have deeper feelings for them.  So... providers were his answer, esp caring ones with whom he could spend extended time.

He was a talented musician -- singer (shy about that), song-writer, and guitarist.  We'd stay up late talking and playing, and playing his music.  I urged him to find a gf and perhaps move to NYC where there are more young people with depth like him (and he visited once when I was visiting and loved the Village/ NYU area!).

But then he returned to LA, left LA, and was a spirit looking for a world which understood him.  Should have kept in contact with him as a friend, but figured he knew how to reach me if he needed to talk or get together.  Sometimes we have to take the initiative to reach out to people who might need us, particularly those who are susceptible to depression, despair, or loneliness, which is what I should have done.

Articulate, soulful and emotionally honest description, Andrea... I suspect you were a great comfort to Garrett.  That is a gift.  I hear the grief in your last comment and how you are not shying away from this… process.

I wonder about "mental illness" - especially bipolar disorder - and it's presence in the hobbying community.  "Sexual promiscuity", extravagant money spending, intense but unstable relationships are all a part of bipolar as are the periodic descents into depression and the very real threat of suicide.  Bipolar folks can also be very creative.  I am not in a position to diagnose Garrett but there are many signs of this in his story.  Kay Redfield Jamison’s books are very well written and particularly valuable:  “An Unquiet MInd” about her own struggles with bipolar, “Touched With Fire” about the creative potential and artistic history of bipolar and  “Night Falls Fast” a landmark work on suicide and its survivors.  This is an EXCELLENT book for suicide survivors.  Suicide is all too common - the third leading cause of death in 19 to 24-year olds and, globally, kills over one million people a year.  Garrett was not alone in walking down that path.

I am well out of my twenties and now have 20-something children.  The 20s are a very stressful decade for most people – you think you have to have it more together than you really do.  Finding a life work, figuring out relationships and, above all, figuring out who you are – it all seems so important, so much in a hurry and so impossible…  Turn 30 or 40 and feel the invigorating sense of self as a necessary mix of contradictions, skills and yearnings.  I just wish people would let themselves alone more in the 20s – whatever it is that is happening is not the end of the world.  Life is all about plan B, plan C… plan IX from Outer Space… lol

Sense of humor – a life skill that can be life saving!  

Kay Jamisan’s most recent book is “Exuberance: The Passion for Life”.  I haven’t read the book but I already love the title.  I think of it as the sequel to “Night Falls Fast” – the lesson we, the survivors of suicide and all else that is and has befallen our friends and families and ourselves, should ultimately draw from the spirit of those who have passed on..   You can’t “get over it” and make exuberance happen – but you can let grief resolve into depth and from that depth find exuberance reborn.

the story sounds a little like a soap opera to me, so does his girlfriends response, just like a tragic love story.  It's likely that some people have suicide in their genes.  If he was interested in her and knew her parents were killed via murder suicide then maybe he was thinking of suicide when he met her.  Maybe he liked that type of personality.  But there are a lot of people out there who can't find any type of love at 24 and don't have the money to go out and get something and yet struggle through life just the same.  I feel bad for the guy, but I'm not sure much could have been done.

-- Modified on 5/31/2006 9:37:33 PM

Alright,

As Garrett's friend, I am putting an end to this right here.

His death has NOTHING to do with this girl/"ex-girlfriend" who posted a year ago. She is DEFINATELY NOT connected to this.

I am not at liberty to share the details with a planet full of strangers, but from reading your posts, it is clear to me that none of you have enough information to draw any remotely accurate conclusions about this situation. Everything that has been posted is based on speculation and all of it is WRONG.

I could no longer stand by and watch his name be judged by people who know nothing about him or the circumstances of his death. I apologize if any of you thought you were helping...but that is not how it has been percieved.

There are people here on this forum who genuinely cared for Garrett and as you can imagine, are having a difficult time with his death, let alone watching strangers disect an invented scenario as if it were some kind of case study.  

Unless you can provide information about the woman we are trying to contact, PLEASE...have some respect for a great man who is no longer with us.

My apologies for my last post.

It was hasty and born of frustration. I know that everyone is sharing their experiences to offer some sort of comfort and that their intentions are good.

My whole reason for coming here was to help a friend get a message through. I just hate to see everyone getting the wrong idea about him. He really was a good guy.

Thank you.

To friends, family members, acquaintaces who need a friend.  We all have times when we need the support and true connection of a friend.  Please contact them and be an open-eared friend!!!  It's a bit confusing to do so from a provider's end, as many are married, with s/o's, and don't welcome uninitiated contact.  Otherwise, hope everyone will try to help at least one friend in need.  I surely will from now on and always.  Could have saved a beautiful soul (though found he had suicidal intentions since '99) -- still could have helped immensely, yet didn't.

In honor of Garrett, will always try to help others in need and be more pro-active.

"In honor of Garrett, will always try to help others in need and be more pro-active."

I will too, in his honor... More than I have, so far, to my regret.


-- Modified on 6/1/2006 3:09:07 PM

Both the Mariah Carey/Jackson 5 "I'll Be There" and the Four Tops "Reach Out I'll Be There" tunes are in my head now...  always, always a great reminder.

Tragedy has the potential to stop our routine and blow the doors open between our hearts.  It's a big strong tender space we share.

"Now if you feel that you can't go on (can't go on)
Because all of your hope is gone (all your hope is gone)
And your life is filled with much confusion (much confusion)
Until happiness is just an illusion (happiness is just an illusion)
And your world around is crumbling down, darlin
Reach out come on girl reach on out for me
Reach out reach out for me
I'll be there with a love that will shelter you"

Thank you.

Namaste

and all others that are mourning the loss of a man that obviously touched their lives, you have my deepest condolences for your loss.

It is clear from what you each have written that Mr Garrett was a very special person that had a strong and lasting impact on your lives, and I am sure that he must have felt an equal impact from having each of you in his life.  

Please, do not blame yourselves for anything you may think you failed to do. I am most sure the last thing he would have wanted, from how you write of him, is for anyone to be blaming themselves or taking on the burden of his suffering as their fault or their own.

Mental Illness is a disease, and like other diseases it can be terminal.  For some that is the reality, and having those you care for closer may distract and may make a load a bit lighter but it can not completely abate the suffering or cure the disease.  

Do not think of it as you failed to save him, it might not have been in your power to save him, and regret only adds to your loss and the suffering you now feel, mourn your friend but please do not blame yourself for the loss.

We touch each other's live in ways we often don't know, and never understand, and sometimes we touch each other in profound and immense ways.  It seems that this is the way in which Mr Garrett touched your life, and I imagine if shared all with you that he did, that is how you touched his life as well.  Cherish the memories of your times together, don't regret the time you didn't have but rejoice in the time you did.  You got to meet an amazing person that you cared for very much, that is a wonderful thing, yes you did lose him, but still better to have known him at all.

Had he died of any other disease you wouldn't be blaming yourself for not being able to save him from it, so please don't blame yourself for this.  

I do hope that the lady that his message is for is found and that that final wish can be fullfilled.

It is apparent the world is less because of the loss of this young man, and to those whose lives are personally less now, I offer my sincerest sympathies and condolences.

I know this is late.  I dated Garrett from Jan 1, 2004 through early May 2005.  I loved him so very much.  He truly broke my heart when he broke up with me.  I never knew why.  I got so upset that I signed on line and searched for him.  One search led me here.  I signed on with this TER to learn more about him so I could get him back.  One year later and he now he is gone.  His mother alerted me to this message just tonight.  Please contact me at [email protected].  I would greatly appreciate any news anyone may have.  Thank you.

Camille

Garrett came to visit me on May 11th, 2006...he gave me a cd to listen to and I was uploading my cd collection and decided to see how he was doing...I can't believe I am reading this...can you please pm me?