I have spoken with a couple of fellow hobbyists on the board , and beyond,(as well as many providers)and the overall consensus is that the stereotype of the typical hobbyist is factual. That is very sad. Now I have a greater respect for these ladies who have chosen to entertain the likes of the societal undesireables.


I can't divulge the names of those who have acted as character assassins but be assured that they haven't placed themselves within that norm lol

Besides we all know that they are indeed 'incredibly handsome men' lol


Do you consider yourself an undesireable? Hard to come up with a date otherwise?

I'll place myself in that category.

Since your Mrs is a sociology expert, ask her about a societal categorization chart which lists providers as "innovators"; I believe the same can also apply to hobbyists.

as well as confound her. She not a sociologist per-se but it was her academic emphasis. She finds herself repulsed by traits that are most common amongst a specific gender.


To address Priapus' comment on societal charts, the Mrs. is convinced that sociology itself is progressive in nature. Ever changing. The belief that providers are considered 'innovators' is one of modern progression. Would that belief have been valid at the turn of the 20th century? Hell no

Who cares why as long as both involved are willing participants.  I got into the hobby when I was married and wanted some strange without getting involved in a side relationship.  I'm single now but I still hobby as well as civvie date and probably always will.

First I need to know should I rate myself on a real life scoring system or can I use the TER scoring system?

I've had similar conversations as well, and I'm not sure I could truly pidgeon hole what the typical hobbyist looks like.  As for me, I would defer that answer to how the ladies view me (and I guess we could send them blanket PM's asking that question).  And am I being judged on only my looks, or is my charm, wit and personality along with my incredible sexual skills to be a skewing of that appearance factor?

No..I don't believe that the stereotype is true.  Just like any segment of the population, you will have a broad cross section to work with.

What about the large population of us older married dudes?. Don't you think that's a substantial part of the market?  Trying to satisfy fantasies of casual sex the way we used to do it when we were young and single is almost out of the question.  Like the saying goes, The fucking you get is not worth the fucking you get!  So, other than keeping a mistress housed and happy for an every Tuesday and Saturday meeting, hobbying is the only alternative to being monogamous and/or jerking off in front of your computer screen.

i don't think the stereotype is true...

now i _am_ a bit of a wreck... much more round in the wrong places than when i was young and strong. then i spoiled myself with the civy company and SO status with beautiful, intelligent and accomplished women. such are no longer "attainable" in my present state of decay. unfortunately i remain spoiled and see no reason to adjust as long as an envelope can compensate for my deficits.

that said, from my observations of hobby folks socially, i am not as bad as the stereotype and the stereotype only applies to about 10% of the client base. 90% of hobbyists are more attractive, accomplished, and socially skilled than said stereotype.

in connection with those socials a number of ladies made highly appreciative glances and noises about some of the gents and ladies present. one lady was absolutely gaga over a gentleman who was just her type.

but the only direct feed back i ever got was when a UTR lady once checked my references with a TER lady who reportedly said: "he's charming, kind and generous. i'd 'see' him for free".

i don't take that compliment very seriously. if you do, i've got a stereotype to sell you.

-- Modified on 7/4/2011 12:31:21 PM

Women in general are threatened by the idea of the provider-hobbyist relationship, just as they are by any pretty lady that walks into a restaurant and captures the eyes of the males present.  It is just more simple sociology, yet an aspect of it that the female in her would prefer to ignore.
(And yes, men have ample societal weaknesses, as well.  We're all human.)

If the stereotype is a propensity for idiotic original posts on TER... YES!

I don't date providers.

I'm single looking to remarry. When I do, I won't see providers any longer.

Since being divorced, I've a fuck buddy that wanted to marry me. She wasn't wife-material to me but the sex was great. I did'nt see provides during that time.

Just last week, I was chilling at a strip club. Waiting to go see a provider. A civie woman sat down next to me, and after a short chat, propositioned me straightforwardly for sex. I didn't accept, but have her number and an open invitation even if I just her to "suck my dick." (her quoted offer)

I am in love with a woman whom I have not had sex with. We are great friends. I have proposed to her. I am not her type.

I have had marraige proposals from two other women whom I am not attracted to, and have not had sex with.

I have a younger woman at work who asks me to ask her out 2 - 3 a month. I don't tell her no, I tell her I'm not dating right now, which is true. There is potential there.

I won't fuck a woman I date on the first date. I won't attempt to until I have decided that a want a sexual relationship with her. I will resist her advances if I haven't made that decision.

I have noticed many mature providers that are not dissimilar in looks and appeal to my common civie range of dating prospects. With, of course, the known exception that the providers are very erotic and sensually skilled.

My general approach is to choose a provider that I think I will click with and who is on the more attractive end of the spectrum if she is mature.

I occasionally see young providers who are half my age and are drop-dead-gorgeous-way-outta-my league-even-when-I-was-their-age. Because I can.

A couple of times I have been with really young super hot strippers, on a post-club soiree which included sex, assumingly because they liked me as a customer and decided to see what it would be like to go all the way.

I have many young (23-28) single good looking male friends (musicians) who do a lot of one-night-stands with the college girls that hang out at the clubs I work with. I'd say that no more than 1/3 of those young gais they pick up are as hot as the young providers that I see on occasion. So even the studs "settle" (if you could call it that.)

I am extremely excited by hot women in their 20's but I would never take such a women as my S.O. if the opportunity came up.

So tell me, oh wise one with a provider spouse...
what stereotype(s) of a hobbyist do I meet.

But remember! Ol' HalfHour is not a hobbyist. He's a Whorist.


HH

-- Modified on 7/4/2011 10:53:14 PM

I have attended several M&Gs and so have a "universe" of about 50 hobbyists for my survey.  Based on that: as we all know, hobbyists skew older, as in 50+.  As for looks, we're pretty average.  Sophistication and wealth is fairly high because the M&Gs were high end, Manhattan gatherings.
Also, I have been known to observe on two occasions -- both with gorgeous gals as we watched ourselves couple in a mirror -- that it looked like we were filming a re-make of "Beauty and The Beast." They begged to differ, lying angels that they were.
The only other view I've had of a hobbyist is a picture I saw of MP67.  However, the lower half of his face was obscured by the loins of a lady.  The top half looked quite attractive, though the eyebrows were rather bushy.

I'd put myself somewhere between 5 and 6 on pure looks.  I think I have presense and personality that elevates me beyond though and I'm not one to just sit and let the girls ogle me from across the room (not that they would, we covered that :p ), I'll go initiate a conversation.  I do know I'm still able to hookup with non-provider girls.  I won't bring someone home every time I go out but I have a decent batting average.

But then again, is it really much different going to lounges that I know women are looking for well off guys and then spending much more than the cost of a provider on a nice bottle of wine, drinks, and some snacks?  M'eh, I'm happy, I'll leave it at that

can always be impressed by a buff body and a handsome face.

However the true gems can overlook the physical and see beyond to the person underneath.

whenever you contact a provider, they are disappointed that you are not me.  except, I'm broke, and get annoying very fast, too.  does that help you with your question?  FYI, I'm not sure what the stereotype is, and since you don't say, well...

Posted By: OSP

I have spoken with a couple of fellow hobbyists on the board , and beyond,(as well as many providers)and the overall consensus is that the stereotype of the typical hobbyist is factual. That is very sad. Now I have a greater respect for these ladies who have chosen to entertain the likes of the societal undesireables.


I can't divulge the names of those who have acted as character assassins but be assured that they haven't placed themselves within that norm lol

Besides we all know that they are indeed 'incredibly handsome men' lol


Do you consider yourself an undesireable? Hard to come up with a date otherwise?

I have met and become friends with three hobbyists: one from here in Philly, one from California, and one from New England.  Each of the three is nice looking, well groomed, and charming.  I had dinner with one of these friends and my girl friend (not a provider) and she found him "very charming and appealing."  I can not judge myself (though I have never wanted for female company at any stage in my life) but none of these three is a loser.

i'm a professional, 50+, silver fox male, and far from undesirable!!!!  imho
hell, i gotta beat em off with a stick!!!  lol
I don't believe their is a stereotype, atleast not the one you mentioned!!

Yes -- many (though not all) stereotypes have some basis somewhere in reality; but the fact is that they are meaningless in their application to any given individual.

I have no doubt that a certain percentage of hobbyists meet a variety of negative stereotypes; just as, to be politically incorrect, a certain percentage of providers likewise meet a variety of negative stereotypes.

However -- and this is important -- the people involved on both sides of the equation are mature adults making their own decisions.

Hobbyists CHOOSE who they see, and if they are so stupid as to employ criteria that leave them vulnerable to negative stereotypical provider behaviors, I'm not terribly sympathetic. A little sympathetic, but not a lot.

And providers likewise CHOOSE their profession and their priorities in life and CHOOSE which hobbyists to see or not. If they choose to employ criteria that leave them facing a hobbyist embodying negative stereotypes, I'm not terribly sympathetic. A little sympathetic, but not a lot.

As for me, attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder. Some women find me attractive and some do not. Same as it ever was. But I am not filthy, obese, old or disrespectful if those are prominent stereotypes.

Of course, right now I'm not a hobbyist either so go figure.

We pay for sex because we can't get it for free and we certainly can't get the women we fantasize about any other way. OTOH, even in a civvie relationship, we pay for sex and at a much higher cost. You only get to fuck one woman (that sucks, lol) and the hidden costs are much higher than in the hobby. But you get someone who cares about you and will take care of you when you get sick. In the hobby, you get a woman who only pretends to care about you and probably despises you to some degree.

Are we undesirable? That depends on a lot of factors, the biggest one being age. In the civvie world, guys our age don't get to date 20-something hotties unless we're rolling in the dough. These girls don't give us a second look so to the girls we have our eyes on, yes, we're undesirable. Face it guys, no 20-something wants to date a 40+ guy unless he has money. For 30-something and 40-something women, we can be more desirable but most of us don't want to date 40-something women, we want younger women. In the 30+ age range, we have a shot at being desirable and we like them since they're young enough to satisfy our desire for younger women.

In the hobby, desirability comes down to personality, financial means, looks to some degree, grooming and hygiene. Nothing turns off women more than poor grooming and/or hygiene. If you want providers to be disgusted by you, try playing with them without a shower, having bad breath, or looking like a bum. Clean up your act in those three areas and you become more desirable as a client. Keep your weight down, stay in decent shape, and you again become more desirable. Hands down, personality is #1 for desirability. Women like easy-going guys with a good sense of humor. Make them laugh and you become much more desirable. Treat them like princesses and you're the perfect client and maybe even someone a provider might come to care about. Having money is a must in both worlds. Women don't want men who can't support them even if they can support themselves without a man. You can't be lazy.

I'm undesirable in the age, height, and looks category. No woman I'd want to date would look at me outside the hobby or I wouldn't be here. In this hobby, I'm well liked by the ladies because I work hard on the other traits and they appreciate it. I've heard enough complaints from providers to know how to present myself so they don't despise me. That's about as it good as it gets for me but it's enough for me.

I pay because I'm single with little kids and starting a new business.  I pay, because they'll leave without much prodding.  It takes all kinds PP.

I pay cuz it's fun and easy. Doesn't hurt when ladies send you PMs wanting to know when you're going to their neck of the woods.

Shit. When ladies tell you, and some guys, how good lucking you are enough times, you have a tendency to believe them.

because their aren't that many of you younger guys.

Well, since I'm an old fart, I usually don't hear the good looking thing ......... but they all tell me that I have a big dick.  Close enough, right? LOL

Posted By: MP67

I pay cuz it's fun and easy. Doesn't hurt when ladies send you PMs wanting to know when you're going to their neck of the woods.

Shit. When ladies tell you, and some guys, how good lucking you are enough times, you have a tendency to believe them.

gotta watch those guys that tell you that you are good looking!!!   lol!!

                                                                                     

If you read enough replys on TER, you know the guys on this site are far from undesirable.
If brains have anything to do with it, that is!
I mean, it takes a few brain cells to come up with some of the replys on here, especially the humorous ones!! Some of the funniest shit i've ever read.
We need to have a TER archive on humorous replys!!!

Nope, no one's ever complimented me on my looks, whatever. If I looked like you MP, I wouldn't need the hobby!

I'm full of myself. Very much so. But I have BAD habits.

I admit, I see some of these ladies, and they tell me I don't look like their average everyday guy.

But those guys make and leave a better impression on them than I do.

Besides, the ladies know what you want, and you know what they want. It's actually elegant in it's simplicity.

You get your dick wet, they get paid. They see you again, great. If not, NEXT!