First of all, I'm probably the average TER hobbyist. 50 years old, married whith children, make enough money that hobby fees don't impact the family.
Just disovered EROS and TER on March 1, 2006. Took the plunge on March 16. Lot's of excitement, fear, and anticipation. I was wildly overcome by the experiance and lived and breathed the secret lifestyle, almost like being a secret agent or something.
Had a meeting a couple of days ago, probably the 15th since my discovery, and it seemed to have lost it's charm. I know how to hobby safely, I'm not afraid of the ladies, and am a lot more open about why I'm in the room.
So is this how it is? Three months into the great experiance and bored already? I thought this would last for ten years or better. I've seen six different providers in this time so I don't think it's that. Surely someone else has encountered this malady, what say you?
Have you tried all manner of position and all other available delicacies? or perhaps it's a question that only our brilliant Love Goddess could answer.....3 months is really too short for disappointment!
It's not for everyone. Simple as that.
You enjoyed the ride while it lasted. No need to apologize or feel bad in anyway, but the ride ended. Thats all.
I did just what you described. I still dabble, but mostly once every six or so months. Hell today was going to be my first time in probably seven or eight months. (the girl was a no show!)
So thank the stars you experienced it and now are off to another, greater adventure!
I am at a similar point too. I had even fewer experiences but enough to understand that I will only have a love/hate relationship with the hobby so I'd be better off pursuing it as little as possible.
I still have a few more flavors to taste though but I will take my time in seeking and experiencing them.
On the other hand, I am hooked on reading TER!
...I "dabble" only about once a month, which is enough for me, as I'm married with kids (and I'm a lot younger than 50). If that guy has had 15 or so sessions within 3 months, he's overdoing it. He may not think he is, but he is. Not just physically, but everything combined. He may be battling his conscience, his wife may be detecting something. He should cut back and try his "normal" life a bit more. Then you know what will happen? He'll get his zest back!!
about 2 1/2 to three years with about 1 encounter per month and voila there is the half-life of the "average" hobbiest... course there are exceptions.
A provider once told me of hobbiests who become addicted and cannot quit. They trade reviews of the girls and kinda collect the conquests much as they did with baseball trading cards as kids.... and this describs the reality of that aspect of "the hobby" but and it is a big BUT... the reality is, that for many of us, this offers only a "stopgap" method to fill a gap... myself? I fell my molecules flying apart... and I get thinner with each non-substantive encounter... and maybe GFE will no longer suffice for GF.
I've been at this for over thirty years, about 2 to 3 times per month, and hope to have the wherewithall to continue for the next thirty years.
90% of my dates are with providers I have known for years (some going back over 16 years now.)
I couldn't even imagine getting bored with it.
to be perfectly honest, at this stage of life... I should probably continue to hobby til I die...! but I bring too much emotion to the table! heck, I even cry while watching chick flicks...
Fifteen encounters in just over three months means that you were seeing a lady every 5 or 6 days? That does seem like a lot for the average person.
In 20+ years of doing this, I may have had a year where I averaged one visit per week. I've also had years where I didn't see any providers. I don't think about it too much and just do what feels right to me at the time.
Maybe you just got burned out? Take a step back for a few months and see how you feel.
Yes, sometimes it gets a bit old. Our ladies do their very best to preserve the illusions and realities. I love them dearly. Yet, an old self evaluation reasserts itself from my thirties, "A married man without a wife." Singles, civies, providers all fill gaps, but never enough if you're wired into loving relationships. I was a great coxman, but it never filled the void, not even now. Not enough to quit the hobby, but I do contemplate the "is that all there is?" question. If you're wired that way, enjoy the interim rather than question it. I have never forgotten even one lady, civie or pro, who helped me get through to the impending finish line.
It can be very thrilling and intoxicating at first and you are racing to experience new things. The thrill of sex is back, when you thought it was gone forever and lost in the old routine, and you are in love with it. Then as in most relationships, the excitement fades and you are left wondering..is this all there is?...I experienced much the same thing and now I hobby occasionaly and will go months without it. And then feel the urge and call up an ATF or someone new on my to do list. It is comforting to know that it is there if I want it, but I am not addicted to it.
It is a more mature relationship, without a little of the initial rush, but I still feel the excitement and enjoy it greatly. I am much more selective and probably enjoy it more with less effort and risk, because of that.
You may be ready to quit, or you may need a timeout to catch your breath and move into the next stage. No one can tell but you.
follow your instincts and desires. This isn't about compulsion; there's no contract. The desire may come and go. It's about having fun and enjoying yourself. If you're not having fun then don't pursue it.
I hear you. I am 57 and have been hobbying for five years and easily spent $100k. Now after I see a provider, I think about how I could have better spent my time and $ at some hardware store. Looking forward to when my prostate gives out and I no longer have to deal with little head doing my thinking for me.
Don't push the issue. Enjoy the extra time and money with your family. When the urge return, you will be refreshed and ready to satify it.
15 trysts in couple of months? Could we possibly have completely over done it with the new toy and broke it already? Slow down, experience, find variety. How about looking for quality and not quantity a bit more. I have found a wide variety in the performance and fun with providers. All the way from "just laid there" like a dead thing to a complete multiply orgasmic wild animal having the best time ever.
I have been with some of the most beautiful and expensive just cause I could. However, I have found several of the $$ under-the-radar types were/are the most fun..mainly cause they aren't acting and are having fun themselves. It's real mutual in pleasuring the other one. Big deal that I'm putting in the $$$..its the ultimate complement that my partner enjoyed things besides the $$. Now thats quality fun.
Frequency is higher than normal. Most guys are "once monthers". Slow down and enjoy the E ticket ride.
I just turned 51. After being separated for 3 years I started hobbying last September. In the first few months I went on a binged and had about 6 to 7 dates a month. Now I see my ATF whom I met last October once -- somtimes twice -- a week, and see one or two new ladies a month. Recently, I found out that I'm no longer attracted to the new ladies. I only see ladies with rave reviews but the attraction is not there; without attraction my performance suffer. Some of them have great attitudes so it's not their fault.
So I'm thinking about seeing only my ATF and only in rare occasions that I'll date another lady.
BBrain, you may have hit the nail on the head for me. There was one of the six providers that I have seen that blurred the lines between reality and fantasy for me. I saw her several times and then realized that my family and business were at risk. The providers I have seen since her are well reviewed and highly rated in this market but don't measure up on the emotional scale, I still think about her...it sucks.
I'm forty-five this year. Have been hobbying since August 2004. I've come to realize the excitement is gone and am going to take a break from this for a while and see what happens.
If it's all about the physical, the excitement doesn't last very long. I need someone like an Emma Bond to keep me going. Boy do I miss her.
I'm in my early 60's and have been hobbying for over three years now. I see every date as a possible great adventure, and many have become just that.
I date once a week, and I live for it. Maybe I am an addict, but I don't care. This is definitely the most fun I've ever had in my life.
I have seen 29 different women and have made great friends with several of them, that have become my regulars. I truly love these ladies and our friendships have evolved to the point where I also see them for social occassions as well as for playing, often just going out to dinner or just dropping by for a visit. One provider I see, even cooks dinner for me.
I now consider these regulars my best friends, and have no intention of ever giving up the hobby. Even if my cock gives up the ship, I'll still maintain contact with these women.
Most of these girls are the most normal well adjusted people I know, and I am thrilled to be so lucky to have met them and shared so many wonderful experiences with them.
Every fantasy I ever had has been fulfilled, and even if there's nothing new to discover, I still want to do it again.
-- Modified on 6/21/2006 7:59:11 PM
I mean guys are in here for varied reasons. Maybe that's all the experience that you desire?
I suggest that you don't continue to pursue it if it bores you now. It's too expensive. However, as one guy here suggested, maybe it isn't varied enough for you. There is a such thing as getting into a hobby rut.
No, I haven't encountered that malady.
For me, it was about exploring my reasons and trying to get the most of that element. I've been in the presence of some beautiful women and had a great time, and yet left unfulfilled.
The lady that "does it" for me is certainly beautiful and gets great review scores, but I'd enjoy her company even if we never undressed. I've seen her socially several times, been intimate a few as well. There's a connection there that goes beyond rutting around. We've never blurred the lines of "the arrangement" but she's the one that I'd be most likely to.
So have you ever paid to see her and did not gotten undressed?
No, but I've got an appointment tonight. We'll see how that goes...NOT!
...in direct proportion to the amount of semen that's built-up in my testicles.
Odd coincidence, that.
Maybe you are looking for not just sex... you might be looking for the playfulness of intimacy and conversation. Just sex by itself can be boring to some. I have called two providers, looking for my first encounter and neither have answered or called me back. I'm starting to wonder if this is supposed to happen at all....
Go to Newbie Board and read the "Does" of contacting ladies.
The wife just left for Omaha for four days and I've got twenty benji's in my hobby fund. Think I'll try to spice things up this weekend...
Good for you welcome back! Bang a beautiful escort hard, have a few beers and watch a game on ESPN...what more can a guy ask for!
Your probably just feeling quilty! Listen I've been married and in-love with 2 other women in my 45 years! And this is actually in my book cheaper then being in a in-love relationship. Like food I love variety in women. Yo cuz...you only live once! There is alot of better people then us that wish they were still alive and had this much fun. As a man I say; "If your healthy and you can eat good, shit good and fuck good then your livin the good live so enjoy brother!