The post below, on whether providers like a BFE or PSE w/ a hobbyist, presupposes that the hobbyist is willing to give that.

Conventional wisdom, that bottomless pit of misconception, holds that the hobbyist is there just for himself:  what he gives is $$$, and once having done that, he's legitimately a "taker."

I discovered years ago that it was loads more fun to turn the tables on the provider ("Hey, sweetie, would you like a back rub?"  "Here's a warm washcloth to clean up with."  "Anything you specially like") and a blast to do PSE or BFE.  When I first started doing this (pre-internet), it inevitably startled the provider -- and then she really liked it.  Now, I think a lot more guys are taking this approach... but I don't know.  This is now the only "mode" I'm comfortable with.  

How bout the rest of you guys?

I, for one, agree with you, Turk.
I have not been "active" any where as long as you, but I find a big part of being "there for me" is making sure that the lady I'm with has as great a time and feels as special as I do.

All through my life I held to the premise that all women were ladies and should be treated as such, with respect.
That includes in the bedroom, as I said, making sure she is enjoying our time together as much, if not more than I am.

Maybe because I'm a little older than the average hobbiest around, I have a different outlook. If so, I feel sorry for the younger guys, you are missing out on some of the real joy of this hobby.

Just my opinion...
B

I think I posted a simular question in http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=88092&boardID=12&page=1.

When I'm with a lady, I'm there to please the lady as much as myself.  Always when I see a lady, she leaves with a smile and the memories I have will be enjoyed forever.  Also, this is a difficult job for the ladies (see link), and to run across a true gentleman, someone who is concerned for her happiness and pleasure is, I think, a rare experience for the lady.  http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=87996&boardID=12&page=1

I treat a provider no different than I would treat a civilian date. I therefore incorporate all the basic etiquette and practices of chivalry and genteel behavior into the session or "date" as I like to call it.

   FR.

I always went for the BFE, because to me walking in cold on someone I feel like I would see them as a piece of meat if I went straight to a PSE.  And while I love recieving a GFE/PSE combo. I feel I was more respectfull strarting with BFE.

...how does one define a BFE?  

I try to be as aware of what the lady is responding to as she is towards me.  So, that opens the door for all ways.  Communication at the beginning usually gives me the direction I need, and there have been some times that no communication was needed, which was direction in itself.

The make-up takes forever...

eye-liner, mascara, lip gloss, a different brush for everything,color coordination,blowdrying,combing,stylling hair just so...dam,its out of place...

I'm getting exhausted, just thinking about it

and then there is the filing and painting nails,toe and finger...and the body cream and then of course...
the sexy underwear... and then I practice my

DIRTY TALK

"Let me f**k you and pou*d you with my big juicy man meat...you horny slut you...you know you want it,baby"
"can you handle my big c**k for your sluttish pu**y pleasure,you slut c**t"

My point is that from what I've read is that the PSE experience is all about the "high gloss" time comsuming preparation.

Cheers!...Am I missing something?...lol

Now...if anybody responds  "just your marbles" on the subject line that means their favorite way to get off is the "Ned Beaty" position. Squeel!...lol




-- Modified on 4/7/2004 12:32:03 PM

I am of this type. I love to watch a female get off. Even more than getting myself off, I get real satisfaaction from getting the providor to have a good time.

LOL.........well said

I find that I love to please for me as much as I do for her. The few ladies that were not into being pleased were the worst experiences for me.

I am hoping to get the time and nerve to find that special PSH lady.

Before I say that, does an hour and a half of DATY count as PSH?

Think you can do DATY longer than me?  Hah!  

Seriously, we should have a contest...providers will donate time, hobbyists will contribute the standard donation, then we'll have a lick-off.  Winner will get a T-Shirt and a two hour session w/ provider of his choice.  Proceeds will go to charity.

Can I tell you what I'd like to donate? As if you couldn't guess..

-- Modified on 4/7/2004 11:53:38 AM

In at least 80% of my 'dates', I do my best to give a BFE to
the point of 'making love'. Not just sex.
We all respond to kindness and thoughtfulness.
A good 25% of my time may well be spent talking.
Have been told that I am a good listener.
Communication is the key to ANY relationship.
I have even had dinner dates with no physical involvement.
I really like 'my girls' and hold them in high regard.

I can breathe through my ears...LOL...

There is a time to be charming.  And there is a time to get dirty, and I mean really dirty.

-- Modified on 4/7/2004 3:05:06 PM

This probably should be a separate thread.  Question: Ever have a "relationship" with a provider that developed into a friendship such that you didn't want to have sex with her?  

For the first dozen or more years I saw providers, it was strictly for the sex.  Then I met Beverly, who was brilliant, a world traveler, lots of fun, insightful.  The light bulb went on!!! We spend more and more of our time in the sessions talking, and I reached the point where I just didn't want to have sex with her.  Now, granted, that was years ago, before the Internet changed a lot...

But, at the moment, I've been emailing a provider I've never met in person for several months; we've shared a lot of what's going on in our lives -- I give her the hobbyist take on things, she gives me the provider take.  I'm going to her city later this month, and I want to see her, but I'm really ambivalent about getting between the sheets.

I have done it for over an hour and half without coming up for air before...

I would win it..................

No one, but no one lays down that kind of challenge and gets away with it.

LoL.

When you cumming in NY (or Philly!)? I meat coming to NY? I mean...

Damn it, so many clits. I mean slits, I mean...


You know what I mean!

An hour and a half is girly boy stuff. Fluff. Breakfast of amateurs. I'm talking about serious DATY, well into the 3 and 4 hour range.  I'm talking about the DATY that gave me tennis elbow from holding her legs up; I'm talking about DATY that was so wet, the mattress had to be thrown out.

I'll keep my record confidential pending the contest (okay, Sedona, if you PM me, I'll tell you).

-- Modified on 4/7/2004 3:39:46 PM

Nothin' like watching guys argue over stuff chicks do better anyway....

Sully
Seldom DATYs on anyone... but OK wit' the hands...
I am seriuos as a heart attack about the neck nerve damage...

Ain't the same thing.

Often my hobbying has been with women that I have kown for some time before being a client. This means that there is a pleasant familiarity. But this familiartity is usually couple with a PSE which is a relaxed and pleasant experiance for all.
The other week I laid down my money and we went up stairs and got a true GFE.
It shook me to my roots. Instead of think "Wow! sex is great!" I was think "Oh shit! I'm cheating on my wife!"
I don't know what the differance was. In many ways she had more rules than most. But the way she did things was way differant.

Just to prove I have a sense of humor I havent deleeted or edited my post. The very fact you had to creatively Edit yours only proves the diference between us.  I'm The BOINKER    You are the OINKER.

guess, I was also "creative" to realize that alias ass jacker would go back and read my post again. For what its worth(Let's not take this too seriously);its all about having fun,and on account of your read over...
I'd say the OINK is on you. Squeel!

Cheers!