Write Review
2,076,415 Total Reviews 3,619 New Reviews
9,000 Users Online

TER General Board

Infatuated with feeling infatuation
GreekDeprived 292 reads
posted

While I enjoy the feeling, the "high", I am also aware that impaired judgment is imbedded in the experience.

For some reason I always ask myself why, or what about the experience or person triggers my infatuation? What I'm looking for is what fighter pilots used to call “6 O'clock” position—that is their blind spot, where they are most vulnerable.

Some have claimed they have a “broken-picker”, a propensity to feel an attraction towards a person with characteristics that have been disastrous in past relationships.

Should there be a hint of that, I ask/wonder if a relationship could evolve into that negative area?

Lastly, I wonder/ask myself if I'm prepared/willing to have that negative experience in my life?

As it is now, I want to add FUN into my life, and have certainty that I lack any desire for a “boy friend-girl friend” relationship.  

Combining those two streams of thought positions me to more daring, taking more risks than I would have in the past, more free to experience and feed infatuating experiences.

In the past, great-sex has created a strong bonding desire, many times leading to a tempestuous, unsustainable relationship.

Since you are making borderline business decision, my training has been to analyze the situation. My preference is to find a quiet time, for me early morning after an OK night's sleep, to sit down and start writing about what the situation is, the elements, list what the options are, and then writing about the pros and cons of each option. After selecting an option. I write a justification of it, why its better than all the rest.

My natural instinct is to resist doing all of that work—but, I believe that if I want to make the best judgment I can I have to do the writing; just something about having to capture my thoughts and heard them into sentences on paper before I can “see” how everything I'm considering works.

One option you could consider is simply stating that you enjoy your time with this person, and would like to try for the next six months, offering him reduced rates for more appointments over a fixed amount of time.

If the reduction is not firmly tied to increased appointments per some time period, you run the risk of simply decreasing cash flow, not your desired outcome. Making this an experiment, trying it out, gives you a fixed date when you both have agreed to either end or re-evaluate this arrangement.

More frequent appointments per time is the arrangement you both agree creates the discount; that it is an experiment for a fixed time gives you a more graceful way to end the agreement should it not be satisfactory for you, and explicitly denotes an arrangement with you that ends, ie is NOT simply a new rate, but one that ends at a certain date.

One possible implementation method is to specify # visits this month receives same # of visits next next month at this discounted rate, two this month, two reduce next month; two this month, and only one visit next month, if there is carry over of one reduced rate to the following month is something you will have to consider.

My Warmest and Best Wishes
Deprive

Gemma Coreana1964 reads

Has any providers been infatuated with a client, a good way not stalker crazy way....... I know hobbyist have but would like to know if any providers also do this...  

I'm so infatuated with one of my ATFs, he's come visited me 3x times with in the year.... The sexual chemistry is incredible.... He's older but very young looking..... He visited me last night out of the blue, got a Ter privy message on how I'm doing which turned into "can I come visit tonight-" it was late but I got all excited & said of course....  He's totally my type of a guy.... When he walked in my door I grab him & we made out in my doorway, it's seemed forever.... I couldn't keep my hands off of him....  I didn't want him to leave when the session came to a close... I wanted to hint to him to ask me out.... Then thought .... No .... It would be awkward!!!   We always laugh, communication is fantastic & the sex is INCREDIBLE!!!  Oh & the C**K is MINDBLOWING!!!    

How do you approach this infatuation.... Any advices would be appreciated, even hobbyist who've had experiences of someone being infatuated with you too....

ReplyQuoteReport
toofuckingstupid351 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
Gemma Coreana467 reads

He's not into Ter as much as some of us... Lol

ReplyQuoteReport
decadentxy486 reads

this game is not rocket science. But if you're that into it, you will have to make the first move.
As he does not seem to be chasing you.

ReplyQuoteReport
courtneycarr344 reads

I am sure most providers at one time or another has had an infatuation with a client.  As Decandentxy stated he is not chasing you, so if you just want to have some fun go ahead and let him know.  But you could loss a great and fun client that you really enjoy seeing, by muddying up something for him.  

I saw someone last night that was totally my type, the type of guy that I would date off the clock.   I hope to see him again, but I would not want to hurt a beautifully beneficial relationship with feelings.

ReplyQuoteReport
pleaseme265 reads

Posted By: Gemma Coreana
Has any providers been infatuated with a client, a good way not stalker crazy way....... I know hobbyist have but would like to know if any providers also do this...  
   
 I'm so infatuated with one of my ATFs, he's come visited me 3x times with in the year.... The sexual chemistry is incredible.... He's older but very young looking..... He visited me last night out of the blue, got a Ter privy message on how I'm doing which turned into "can I come visit tonight-" it was late but I got all excited & said of course....  He's totally my type of a guy.... When he walked in my door I grab him & we made out in my doorway, it's seemed forever.... I couldn't keep my hands off of him....  I didn't want him to leave when the session came to a close... I wanted to hint to him to ask me out.... Then thought .... No .... It would be awkward!!!   We always laugh, communication is fantastic & the sex is INCREDIBLE!!!  Oh & the C**K is MINDBLOWING!!!    
   
 How do you approach this infatuation.... Any advices would be appreciated, even hobbyist who've had experiences of someone being infatuated with you too....
Related Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4TWMy2rg0c

ReplyQuoteReport
RokkKrinn458 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
Blumpkinlover413 reads

Believe me or don't believe I don't really care, but I'm 100% sure it happens.   Obviously not as often as the hobbyist being infatuated.

Kudos to you for posting and not using an alias.  You are human so it's no big deal.  He came to see you and you liked his looks, personality and apparently his C**k.  Life is short and I would take action.

I'm sure he is getting the vibe that you are into him.  It does depend on what you want.  Do you want to date him or just hang out / go out and have a good time?  i.would go the good time route for starters.  You should just ask him if wants to do something OTC like dinner or whatever.

You have to understand that as a hobbyist we pay for the experience that you are giving him.  In your case there is no faking / acting with him.  However, he can't know that for sure until you take things at least somewhat OTC.

Perhaps his schedule or "situation" won't permit him to chill with you, but you won't know until you ask.  Also, just asking him to do something doesn't reveal your "infatuation" as you say so I don't see how it could hurt.

Good luck.

ReplyQuoteReport
cineaste332 reads

My advice is to write a post in the General Board on TER, describing how you feel without mentioning names, but enough info that he can easily figure out it's him. Then, when he reads the post and he wants to act, he can do so, of if he doesn't want to, then he can pretend he never saw it and not hurt your feelings.  

In other words, I think you have this figured out pretty well. :). Good luck!

Posted By: Gemma Coreana
Has any providers been infatuated with a client, a good way not stalker crazy way....... I know hobbyist have but would like to know if any providers also do this...  
   
 I'm so infatuated with one of my ATFs, he's come visited me 3x times with in the year.... The sexual chemistry is incredible.... He's older but very young looking..... He visited me last night out of the blue, got a Ter privy message on how I'm doing which turned into "can I come visit tonight-" it was late but I got all excited & said of course....  He's totally my type of a guy.... When he walked in my door I grab him & we made out in my doorway, it's seemed forever.... I couldn't keep my hands off of him....  I didn't want him to leave when the session came to a close... I wanted to hint to him to ask me out.... Then thought .... No .... It would be awkward!!!   We always laugh, communication is fantastic & the sex is INCREDIBLE!!!  Oh & the C**K is MINDBLOWING!!!    
   
 How do you approach this infatuation.... Any advices would be appreciated, even hobbyist who've had experiences of someone being infatuated with you too....

ReplyQuoteReport
Gemma Coreana405 reads

For a relationship.. I'm just infatuated with him... I want the sex I think more often...  I would never want more then just sex .... The way we met I couldn't even imagine ....

ReplyQuoteReport
Blumpkinlover330 reads

So do you want to fuck him for free or just have him see you more often as a customer?  Obviously there is a big difference.
I doubt he would have a problem with the fuck buddy situation.  As a customer he is already seeing you as much as he wants or can afford.

Also, you said you wanted him to ask you out which implies you want to go do something with him vs just sex.

ReplyQuoteReport
Gemma Coreana302 reads

Go out like in grab a drink or something...  Not go out steady...

ReplyQuoteReport
Blumpkinlover260 reads

That's nothing major so just ask him if he wants to grab a drink sometime.

ReplyQuoteReport
mrfisher313 reads

so that both parties can enjoy that level of bliss.

Unfortunately, it sometimes spills over into a dangerous stalking type of relationship.

Also I had one gal stop seeing me because she feared for where things would lead.  It was probably for the best, but still hurt a lot.

ReplyQuoteReport
Cosette382 reads

developing crushes on people. I simply deal with it by spending more time with them.

ReplyQuoteReport
GreekDeprived293 reads

While I enjoy the feeling, the "high", I am also aware that impaired judgment is imbedded in the experience.

For some reason I always ask myself why, or what about the experience or person triggers my infatuation? What I'm looking for is what fighter pilots used to call “6 O'clock” position—that is their blind spot, where they are most vulnerable.

Some have claimed they have a “broken-picker”, a propensity to feel an attraction towards a person with characteristics that have been disastrous in past relationships.

Should there be a hint of that, I ask/wonder if a relationship could evolve into that negative area?

Lastly, I wonder/ask myself if I'm prepared/willing to have that negative experience in my life?

As it is now, I want to add FUN into my life, and have certainty that I lack any desire for a “boy friend-girl friend” relationship.  

Combining those two streams of thought positions me to more daring, taking more risks than I would have in the past, more free to experience and feed infatuating experiences.

In the past, great-sex has created a strong bonding desire, many times leading to a tempestuous, unsustainable relationship.

Since you are making borderline business decision, my training has been to analyze the situation. My preference is to find a quiet time, for me early morning after an OK night's sleep, to sit down and start writing about what the situation is, the elements, list what the options are, and then writing about the pros and cons of each option. After selecting an option. I write a justification of it, why its better than all the rest.

My natural instinct is to resist doing all of that work—but, I believe that if I want to make the best judgment I can I have to do the writing; just something about having to capture my thoughts and heard them into sentences on paper before I can “see” how everything I'm considering works.

One option you could consider is simply stating that you enjoy your time with this person, and would like to try for the next six months, offering him reduced rates for more appointments over a fixed amount of time.

If the reduction is not firmly tied to increased appointments per some time period, you run the risk of simply decreasing cash flow, not your desired outcome. Making this an experiment, trying it out, gives you a fixed date when you both have agreed to either end or re-evaluate this arrangement.

More frequent appointments per time is the arrangement you both agree creates the discount; that it is an experiment for a fixed time gives you a more graceful way to end the agreement should it not be satisfactory for you, and explicitly denotes an arrangement with you that ends, ie is NOT simply a new rate, but one that ends at a certain date.

One possible implementation method is to specify # visits this month receives same # of visits next next month at this discounted rate, two this month, two reduce next month; two this month, and only one visit next month, if there is carry over of one reduced rate to the following month is something you will have to consider.

My Warmest and Best Wishes
Deprive

ReplyQuoteReport
sophiaLA297 reads

Tough to advise because of all of the variables…
Could what you call infatuation be more like penis-uation.
Every once in a blue moon someone fucks me exactly how I need to be fucked. Instant fireworks. If you have a uterus, it will start sending you all kinds of illogical pm's just to get you to bring that penis back home.

What to do? Nothing. Enjoy the giddy feelings before and after you see him, touch yourself when flashbacks of your time together make you shudder, let distance make it all the more juicy when there is no distance…but live your life. Unless it's unquestionably mutual that you two are to be real life dating, why not keeps things as they are and let the envelope be the cherry on top

ReplyQuoteReport
goofball42276 reads

What's wrong with just saying a lot of what you said here straight to him?

There are no set rules here. It may turn into something great! He sees you more often, knows that you truly enjoy your time together, and you know you can count on that when you see him!

Why not???

ReplyQuoteReport
inrockfordnow299 reads

I would just wonder how much of your time together is spent having sex versus doing something else like chatting or whatever.  You might want to find out what it's like just to hang out with him before you give away any of the secrets of your heart.  Does he even want to JUST hang out?

For me, with most girls it really is just about sex, and I wouldn't want to date them.  Oh, they're nice and friendly, and we often have great sexual chemistry.  But we don't usually click on a personal level.

Then again, I have met two girls in this business that I really wanted to see in a romantic way.  One shot me down (politely), and the other...  Well, that is private and I cannot say more.  And then there are a couple more girls I've seen who might have made nice friends (not romantically), but that never panned out due to the nature of the business.

But would you listen to me, telling an escort how to handle a client!  That's just my 2c I guess.

ReplyQuoteReport
inicky46314 reads

Is it possible to end up in a romantic relationship in this game?  Yes.  Is it likely to be a train wreck? Yes.  So just don't go there.  Easier to say than to do, I know.  I have some friendships that could easily have turned romantic.  So far I've avoided it and I suggest you do the same.
I do know of several happy relationships between players and providers but they are the exception to the rule.

ReplyQuoteReport
Post Reply Back To Forum
Register Now!