And no I am not mentally doing my shoping list.I truely enjoy seeing anothers pleasure. And as long as you are having fun,just lay back and enjoy yourself.
I do think it is helpful to discuss the issue with the lady. You might start by saying"For me its more about the journey than the destination"It would help me to hear that.I think nomatter what alot of ladies have insecurities and might wonder if it is something they did wrong. If you let them know up front,for you its not just about the"destination
" then you both might end up with big smiles.
But I must say it is nice to know beforehand that you have special needs.
I have never laid there, while working, thinking of other things like shopping. I give my full attention. If one thing does not work I will move to another.
I personally do not mind this at all, in fact it's quite nice usually and gives me time to enjoymyself (multiple times in most cases). It is nice to warn the provider beforehand so that she does not feel like it is something she is lacking. Saying it after failed attempts may seem like you are sparing her feelings..
Simone
This is actually not uncommon at all. In fact, I would venture to say that probably 1/4 of my appointments are like this. When I first started escorting, I have to admit the first few times I couldn't make it happen for a guy, it was a real blow to my ego. I really questioned my skills. But having done this job for a few years now, I have come to realize that this is simply the case for some men, and I do take it in stride. Am I mentally making grocery lists? No, not at all. I'm trying to figure out what works best for you, and I will keep working and trying to make it happen. I really like to see a man with a smile on his face, and no matter how enjoyable the overall experience is, there is no denying that not reaching climax dampens the experience.
I do not orgasm easily, especially with condom, and even sometimes in my occasional tested bareback civvie relationship..... several of my friends here have shared same experience.
Here's my tips and thoughts..... Over time, I have learned not only what does work for me, but what does not, and definitely as you stated to enjoy the journey whether a climax happens or not. The funny thing is it occasionally happens with someone incredibly attractive, and even with someone who I've had eye popping orgasms with before.... very unpredictable!
Let's start with the things that definitely don't work (in order of worst first!):
1) If she is saying "have you cum yet?" is a real downer
2) If she starts the "oh baby oh baby cum for me baby...... " you get the gist.... just detracts, distracts, adds pressure
3) I have no problem staying hard, and can go a long time.... to the point of flat wearing my lady, and I've found two things from that... one obvious. The obvious .. Wearing her out is not fun for her! The other is that my little guy just desensitizes with lots of exact same activity and the chance of orgasm actually lessens.
4) Thinking about orgasm or worrying about it at all is a downer.
What does work:
1) not sticking with any one activity (bbbj, intercourse, a given position) more than five minutes
2) lots of variety in the stimulation, changing it up, lots of teasing is great.
3) spending a lot of time in mutual charging up... sensual kissing, heated kissing, just laying together and touching and stroking, exploring each other's bodies .... the building of excitement and anticipation does much to increase orgasm. It helps me a lot to schedule a minimum of 2 hours so there is no rush to proceed to intercourse.
4) along the lines of #3, starting out dressed, making out, gradually tearing each other's clothes off is a real charge for me
5) If you are with a provider you have built chemistry with well or if you are with one that very much enjoys being pleasured herself.... I love spending a lot of time on her nipples and going down on her, sensing her pleasure, until she is so excited she pulls me onto and in to her.... mutual passion really gets me off!
6) Even if the gal I'm with is very attractive and the chemistry is great, I also sometimes visualize a favorite porno scene pulling down the bikini bottom of a hottie I saw on the beach... works sometimes!
7) And most of all what you said..... the journey and knowing I'm going to have a wonderful time even if I don't climax. There is nothing quite like skin to skin, cuddling, going down on, being gone down on, intercourse... whether I cum or not.... I still absolutely love it all!
With all that in mind, I always enjoy my time, the lady always does because her comfort and joy are on my mind and she knows it... and hobbying is just a blast!
Any woman who starts the "oh baby oh baby cum for me baby......" is in for a solid hour of pounding from me.
I also have a very difficult time cumming, I've learned you have to be very careful what you ask for in life because you might just get what you ask for. In my younger days I wanted to last longer, now I long for the days when I could come in 5-10 minutes.
The good news for me is that I love sex, the feeling of being inside a woman, cumming is not the most important thing in the world to me. I have however learned to appreciate the good old fashioned hand job. A bbj, followed by good old fashioned sex, ending with an enthusiatic HJ and I am a happy camper.
When I was young I'd manually hammer one or two out before leaving the house just to increase my chances of not experiencing a premature finish.
Today, I’m in your category of the blissful and sometimes not so blissful resignation to the realities and serenity of older age.
BUT, there was a time about 15 to 20 years ago when I could focus like a laser beam. Seriously. I could go for an hour and then orgasm on cue with as little as 10 seconds notice. It was primarily during my Massage Parlor days. I had an ATF who would go through a half bottle of baby oil and an arm brace giving me a hand job. I’d keep an eye on the clock they had or when someone would knock on the door to remind us that time was up, I’d “release the dogs” right on cue, every time, LOL.
did bother the hell out of me, and I think that I probably frustrated a couple of ladies by trying too hard to "reach the destination", or by not letting them know that it was okay if I didn't. As I learned to enjoy the journey more, I found that I could relax, and the ladies seemed to enjoy it more also, just knowing that the climax wasn't necessary. Now, it seems to be easier for me to reach a climax, although, it's pretty rare for me to have a second one. A second journey, on the other hand, is alwys welcome.
I may be unique but my crank does not like the porn star approach. Hard banging. Hard / fast action with the hand / mouth. However, this approach seems to be in vogue. I wish more providers watched 70s/80s porn... I am up front. I tell a lady that my crank likes it gentle, teasing, slow, easy. That even though I might be taking a few minutes to finish, if she'll stay with it I'm good to go. Many ladies will slow down / ease up for a mintue or so then go back to the hard and fast. Maybe even throw in some verbal urging (are you going to cum for me sweetie? biggest turn off in the world....). You do wonder what these gals are thinking.... Some ladies either have the more nuanced approach from the outset or take the hint. These are the ladies I frequent. There is nothing wrong with my crank. Works fine. It is the approach the lady takes that makes all the difference. I take directions and respond to cues with respect to the ladies preferences. I'm paying for the time. Seems like a no -brainer. But it isn't always....
I also have the same problem... I am not even 25 years old yet, and I have not finished with a provider at all. I've met with 1 provider, once. Another provider, twice. So 3 sessions in total. If I take too long in-between positions I get soft really fast.
This problems seems to be a psychological problem, probably because the only ladies that I have been with are providers. I haven't had a relationship with anyone, and I think that's why this is happening to me. I think with a provider I have to stick to one, and keep seeing that same provider until it happens. If I just keep moving around then I will not be able to build comfort, and chemistry, and it will just make things worse.
small climaxes you might have. I find that I have a series of small climaxes with little or no ejaculate (my prostate, which would normally store up fluid, has been shrunk to nothing by radioactive seeds many years ago.) Often, these are very pleasurable but not BIG climaxes. Usually I will have a few of these then the big event will happen. It is easy to miss these or ignore them. Many men, when they get older, will have these and think they are not climaxing.
As the other ladies have mentioned, if you let the provider know of your "special needs", it won't be an issue (for most) AND she won't think that she's doing something wrong (bruised ego's and stuff).
As always, communication is the key!! 
Muah!
Jaydenn-
is when guys come in with the attitude that "it's just not going to happen...". Of course it's not, because you already told yourself it isn't...
I understand that it can be difficult for some to finish. I'm not about the end result personally, but rather, the journey. If that journey takes us to an end result, then great, but when guys put up the mental block (and refuse to try and think any differently), it takes that option out of the equation.
I have had a few gents get pre-occupied with me "working too hard" also. Nothing interupts a flow more, or shows someone's lack of being able to let go in the moment more, then having someone constantly stopping me to say I am working too hard, and "don't you need a break?". Believe me, if I am working too hard, or I need a break, you will know...because I'll stop.
For the guys out there with this issue, do us both a favor and don't worry about girls working too hard. We make good money after all, so don't feel too bad for us...LOL Just sit back and relax and enjoy. Clear your mind. Connect with your body and let it take over instead of your brain. Certainly you can give a girl a warning by saying, "sometimes it doesn't happen, and that's ok with me. I'm just here to have a good time." Don't make any concrete declarations of "it never happens, so don't expect it to...". Keep it open to whatever your body might want to do that day.
I've had many men leave without a traditional finish. I never worry about it or make a big deal about it...sometimes we never even discuss it. We just enjoy our time, in those moments, without agendas or expectations.
I hope that helps!
xoM
I am late 50s but have a partial spinal cord injury. Things feel good but just not the same as before. I can cum quite quickly if the exact right spot is hit but if not, I could until I'm exhausted. Certainly the cover does not help... I now bring my prefered thin ones which is some help. (Fresh, unopened packages, she opens & applies)
My recovery time is way beyond our date time but it's about the journey as much as the destination anyway.
I make a point of sharing this information with a lady at our initial meeting.
jtp
and your honest with me to say that you take Viagra or some other product, then i will know that you might or might not be able to finish..You Gentlemen, must understand that we ALL don't polish our nails while your doing the deed, LOL LOL Most of us care that your enjoying yourself, and will do everything and anything for you to release, but on rare occasions it just doesn't happen..For me, and i can only speak for myself, some of Gentlemen, that come to see are there for the true GFE experience, the talking the passionate kissing the playfulness of sexy banter back and forth, teasing, touching etc and if they want to partake in the pleasure of being inside me they know i'm there for that as well, so to answer your question..NO it doesn't matter to me what we do within the time frame you desire.
Jay
