I've been in this hobby for about 3 years now and never got into it for any other reason but to fufill my sexual urges and to meet some very beautiful ladies. Now the problem. I've been seeing this very sweet provider who's name I will not mention. She is so different from any other provider I've met. We clicked instantly and have become really close. We go out for dates other than appointments and these don't even include sex.
She's given me feeling I haven't experienced since I fell in love w/ my wife over 20 yrs. ago. She has also expressed her feelings in the same way. Questions. Am I a fool?, Do these relationships have a history of actually working? What can I expect to happen if we do become a team. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
These things DO NOT WORK. GET OUT! EOM. BOB.
This question is asked so often that many who might have views that might be of interest to you won't reply...people get tired of repeating themselves. My suggestion is that you use the "find message" search feature stating the topic of interest & you'll find there have been a great many answers to your question.
Ever heard of infatuation? you have got it buddy.
What you have with your wife of 20 yrs is a mature love which can't compare to puppy love. I know I am hardly one to talk see below but there have been plenty of threads within the last two weeks certainly on this subject.
Yours probably has as much chance of working as any other affair you may or may not have had. I don't think the odds of affairs working with civilians are very good and I am not sure what they are with providers. In any case it's always a unique situation with its own possibilities.
Also what were you planning to do with your wife? Is she still in the picture? Kids? These are all the realities we married guys face that the other guys don't when they find that other woman. If you are still married, may want to take things slowly unless you are going to get divorced not matter what. If you are not married, hell go for it. True love is so hard to find, I wouldn't quit just because the entire board is going to tell you, you are an idiot LOL GRIN
damn Cockney slang ... or is it Dublin-based?
anyway, why are you reading this? didn't you see the bleepin' [EOM] in the header?
Do any relationships have a chance of working out? The bottom line is that we are all people. Each of you brings your own sensibilities, tolerances and wishes to the table. You are different, just like everybody else. Clicking with someone is a rare and beautiful thing........so hard to let go. Reality is another. If you and/or she are also married you have more flies in the ointment. My advice is to scrap advice. Too many things to consider that are between you and her. Personal choices like this can only be made by you. Try to align your head and heart and then make your decision. You have complexities in any relationship no matter how you meet.
Well Mournig -
The good news is ... it does happen and it can work out.
The bad news is ... it has all the same pitfalls of any other relationship ... plus a few more that normal ones don't have.
She has sex with other men. Sometimes she likes it. Once in a while, she has a client she looks forward to seeing. Her job has odd hours and some strange requirements. Like I said to someone else, you may want to see her this weekend, but another man (better looking, richer with a much more exiting life than yours) is going to take her to Acapulco for the weekend - maybe even buy her a few things you can't afford to buy her.
This can be a big hit to your ego ... and you'd best have a tight control on that. Maybe you can handle it, maybe you can't. Maybe you can at first, but it may wear on you after a while. Time will tell. Make sure you have your own life under control and your ego well centered on yourself before you start out.
Again .... it's best (at least at first) to not ask her for the gruesome details of her day. Don't offer suggestions of what you'd do if you were in her place (we KNOW what you'd do, you slut! lol)
And above all ... when you end up dealing with any overspill from her life ... you HAVE to remind yourself .... it's JUST her job - it's nothing personal.
Meg could not have said it any better. I would say I agree with him 100% I did the same thing about a year ago fell very much in love with my ATF. And she said she cared as much for me as I did her. And stupid ass me even started paying all of her billsetc to try and get her out of the bussiness and after about a year or so later I call her to go some were for the weekend and she was gone no call of good buy nothing she just used me played the game of saying what I wanted to hear. Long story short That will not happen to this dumb ass again. It may or may not work these girls no how to play us guys to the tee. Lots of luck to you hope it will turn out better for you than it me..7Th Air Cal/ Nam 69
You said it yourself. "Am I a fool?" Duh. Yet, a relationship can always be pursued... Look at the infamous Romeo and Julliet story! So you think you won't be jealous, though? You can provide for her right? WHat about her need for $$ ? If I was Trump or Gates, I could pay her for 365 days a year to BE MINE. What to expect: You think she won't be jealous of you seeing other providers? You'll quit though right? Ugnh huh. If you can "swing" together, can you love together? Sure, of course. We know there are happily married porn stars even. People married to a dancer at the strip club, etc.. So are you a fool? YES! Dancers marry owners or other dancers, and when they marry customers, well, fleeting moment of fun would have been better! Should you pursue this relationship? Well, if she has seen you without asking for $$$, you know she's interested. Undoubtedly, though, the "baggage" will catch up...the law of probability says so. Maybe you are a Gates or a Trump....but then you don't need a professional as many amateurs will flock to your 24/7 need. The odds are against you, and then some. Will she have your baby? How did you meet mommy daddy? Hey man, are you a fool? "The word "fool" doesn't even begin to explain it! Providers are an awesome service and comfort, but keep 'em in the closet!
There are certainly women of high character in the biz and falling in love with a provider is not unheard of. But alas, it seldom works. There's a lot more to this, but just suffice to say that many a verse has been written warning men to be on guard when dealing with fast women.
Couple important points you left out:
How old are you?
What is your net worth?
If you want true love, buy a puppy and take care of it! The love will be true and unconditional.
In addition, you will never be accused of talking badly about a friend behind thier back or have your personal character and integrity viscously assaulted, brought into question and slandered.
Furthermore, it will be a lot cheaper and you'll always have a true friend!
Another pearl of wisdom is that being a hobbyist is like being a successful investor in the sense that a 'diversified portfolio' minimizes risk and provides fruitful rewards over time!
Remember to 'live the dream and share the love' my friend.
Best wishes!
-- Modified on 7/21/2003 8:51:10 PM
...end up as just that. Wishful thinking. I know dreams can be hard to let go of, but let this one go before it turns into a nightmare. Whatever you do, don't confess to your wife and leave prematurely.
See some other providers and try to keep your head on straight. 20 years of marriage made you forget what falling in love felt like. Don't forget your common sense now because you've rediscovered that.
Are you crazy? Your chances getting burned is 99.999999%. And she will love you unconditionally will be 0.000001%. Just think about if you don't have any $$$$$$$$$$$$$ or if you don't spent your $$$$$$$$$$$ on her, will she love you? ( I'm not saying all provider is bad, and all about $$$$$$, there should be some exceptions to the rule. but the question is, IS SHE THE ONE?? )
Are you going to quit the hobby?
Stop seeing her and find a better one!!!!
And stay happy!!!
It happens and no you are not a fool for allowing your feelings to show, As a single provider that generally spend alot of time with clients(overnights,vacations,linch,dinner,golfing,hiking etc.) this has happened to me several times. I have a client/friend right now that is drop dead gorgeous,very successful and my flavor totally. I have been seeing this individual for a little over 2 yrs. every now and then he mentions the two of us becoming an item, I always tell him that I am cool just being his friend. I really do admire this individual so much that I will not let things go any further because I want to keep him as my friend forever.
Our last visit at his place, I saw some pics. of him and his new girlfriend WOW......she looked just like me!!! I just smiled and said to myself "when I do decide to settle down lord please bless me with a man like him from head to toe" just make sure that I am ready.
Good Luck!
Indigo
There are two basic ways men & women relate to each other.
First - The man trades love for sex and the woman trades sex for love. This is the normal arrangement in long term successful relationships.
Second - The man trades money for sex and the woman trades sex for money. These relationships are basically predatory and commercial. They tend to last only until the woman finds a more attractive source of income or until the man finds a more attractive woman.
Once a woman has decided on the type two model for her sexual relationships, it is almost impossible for her to change to a type one model. The difficulty is that sex and love are so closely linked. When a type two wants love, she thinks that she has to pay for it. Thus the typical link between working girls and abusive pimps. She is buying his love.
This basic view of the relationship of man/woman is why long term relationships that begin in a type two style very rarely work unless the man is wealthy enough to satisfy the woman's needs for a very long time.
Sorry guy, this just usually doesn't work out well when either side of a type two relationship falls in love.
Maybe I'm cynical about love but I have often had the same feelings with a provider that I had with my (soon to be ex after 24 yrs) wife when we first met. Here's what I've learned... Love, lust, sex, infatuation, chemistry, whatever you want to call it. We have these feelings and attempt to interpret them through societal norms. It's all the same thing and nothing lasts forever. Romantic love and marriage are all made up. What a mess.
-- Modified on 7/26/2003 8:21:26 PM