DISCLAIMER: I am in no way seeking pity or anything from anyone by writing this post. The reason I am writting this is because I felt this post could be beneficial to share with the community, if for no other purpose than to know how to handle a situation like this better than I did, and shed some light as to why ladies have their policies in place. Which had I not broken my own cardinal rules I wouldn't of ended up in the predictament I did.
With that said, yesterday in NYC on the day I was supposed to leave I accepted a request from a PRE-SCREENED client. Since it was such short notice, there was no time for him to furnish a deposit. So I let him slide on that rule of mine as well as the rule that I don't see anyone in the city the day I'm traveling out. Only in the city where I am arriving will I see someone on the days I'm traveling.
Well, at the end of the appointment when I checked the envelope, it turned out the cash was counterfeit. I confronted him on it. He argued with me. Then I showed him a real hundred and the differences. Then he suddenly started apologizing and saying how he would run to the atm to pay me. I said hold on let me get dressed I am going with you.
That is when he attempted to grab the counterfeit out of my hands and we got into a physical fight, busted a lamp and a few other things in the room, before he finally fleed after I started yelling help.
I still had the counterfiet and called 311 for a civil escort to turn it in afraid that he might have been waiting outside the building for me. To my surprise the police were ther in 6 minutes exactly. Kind of ironic considering the client is an NYC attorney. At which point the local police began to interogate me and almost took me to jail for reporting an assualt and being given counterfeit money. Until the second unit showed up 20 minutes after them.
So ladies, IF you EVER receive fake money, look up the number for the secret service as they have 100% jurisdiction over this matter and call them directly. DO NOT GET THE LOCAL COPS INVOLVED.
The local NYPD threatened to take me to jail and destroyed the evidence. So now I have no recourse. Except for the fact I do have his personal info. So ladies please pm me for his info especially if you are in the NYC area.
And to the guys, I understand there are a lot of scams out there. In all fairness we ladies have much more at risk here. The rules we put in place are there for a reason. Not because we are trying to bitch. We are concerned about our well being and safety. So if you are not willing to comply with a ladies policies that are clearly stated on her website, why bother contacting her? because you don't believe the rules apply to you? you're one of the nice guys so you shouldn't have to? Well guess what? We don't know that. And every lady has her own format and way that works for her that keeps her safe.
There is no wrong or right way to do this. There is a way that keeps you safe and a way that doesn't. Because at the end of the day that is all that matters, is making it home and your health. The rest will take care of itself.
Hugs and a lick,
LM
P.S. I'm okay, a little sore and bruised but no serious injuries. Mainly just scared and very shook up by the entire esxperience.
-- Modified on 8/21/2007 8:15:18 AM
Wow. Thanks for sharing the story, and it certainly brings home why screening is so important to you ladies. Glad you're OK. Be safe.
I know that sometimes the "rules of engagement" even on TER seem harsh- but you NEVER know who you are dealing with - civie or hobby population. I probably would have not contacted the local dudes... but contacting someone - yea. as for the cops showing up in 6 min flat? Makes you wonder if a fix was in.
I probably would have, as you did, pointed out to him that the bills were fake, and would have pocketed one of the bills... and given the rest back.... gone to the ATM with him... and afterwards called it in... but that is just hind sight...
Given the way most of us get the cash for hobbying (either ATM or a check cashed) - there is no way that he could have possibly had counterfeit money without knowing. or at least that is my opinion.
-- Modified on 8/21/2007 8:59:44 AM
Between escorts & attorneys, you still can't trust the attorney.
There was a guy who was a managing partner at one of the top tier investment banks in NYC who was cruising bars, picking up young men, drugging them and keeping them as sex slaves in apatments he had around town. He finally got busted. No media decided report the story. Rumor was that this company had to "invest" about 10 million dollars in public relations fees to keep the story OUT of the papers.... he probably burst into tears and explained that he was suffering from low self esteem and was sent to a residential facility in vermont where he learned how to meditate and forgive himself....
Solly this happen to you.
Just kidding about the "subject." Although I am a black belt I know better not to be trapped in a room and try it, unless I am defending myself. Please . . . next time, just let him leave and count the loss of money as a "chalk it up to experience" and let it go. Then put him on the blacklist and tell everyone about his email address, etc., so we don't see him. A few hundred bucks is not worth risking your life.
Hugs,
Ciara
I would never recommend getting in a physical fight....who knows what kind of freaks there are....just let him go, and live to see another day, and spread the word, like you've done. Guns, knives, psycho's....not worth it.
good lesson to be learned by all, don't bend the rules that u establish..
You know who he is and have his info - that was your leverage - demanding to go to the ATM with him brings it into the realm of a physical confrontation which blossomed into a conflagration.
I hope you don't have to watch your back now. If he's a NYC attorney, he could have some contacts that could harass you. I mean if he commits a federal offense, he's a sleaze bag in many other ways, too.
More women are counting the money before the session now. Too many or getting shorted or worse. One suggestion was to have the client leave it on the bathroom vanity and before you go in for a powder to count it. Unfortunate that it has to be that gauche, but too many clients are shorting or totally ripping off ladies.
I leave the donation in a way that makes it easy for the provider to count it. My logic is that if she knows I was honest with it, she'll feel safer and give me better service. Basically, I place the envelope on the dresser within minutes of walking in. Then I excuse myself to the bathroom to wash my hands. (Sounds cheesy, I know.) While I'm inside, the provider has a window of time to check the envelope, if she chooses to. If not, her choice.
First let me say that I'm really sorry this happened to you. It really sucks, but karma is a bitch. Hopefully you can take a little comfort in that.
I believe the treasury department, not the secret service, has jurisdiction over counterfiet money. I believe the Secret Service is just responsible for defense of the president.
-- Modified on 8/21/2007 7:44:25 PM
They do have exclusive jurisdiction over counterfeiting. In fact, that was its original purpose. They got the job of guarding the president as an afterthought, maybe after Garfield or McKinley was assassinated. The Secret Service is a division of the Treasury, of all things. See link.
under the Dept. of the INTERIOR.
Can anyone guess what department the Coast Guard is under?
Hint: It is not the Dept. of Defense.
It used to be Dept of Transportation, now it's Homeland defense...Except in times of war...then it falls under the Department of the Navy.
Counterfeit Division
The Secret Service has exclusive jurisdiction for investigations involving the counterfeiting of United States obligations and securities. This authority to investigate counterfeiting is derived from Title 18 of the United States Code, Section 3056. Some of the counterfeited United States obligations and securities commonly dealt with by the Secret Service include U.S. currency and coins; U.S. Treasury checks; Department of Agriculture food coupons and U.S. postage stamps. The Secret Service remains committed to the mission of combating counterfeiting by working closely with state and local law enforcement agencies, as well as foreign law enforcement agencies, to aggressively pursue counterfeiters. To perform at the highest level, the Secret Service constantly reviews the latest reprographic/lithographic technologies to keep a step ahead of the counterfeiters. The Secret Service maintains a working relationship with the Bureau of Engraving and Printing and the Federal Reserve System to ensure the integrity of our currency.
Not to take anything away from what happened to you, but why do you think that providers have more to lose than the guys??? In my opinion we are equally in harms way.
I'd venture a guess that on a physical level, the vast majority of men could do more damage than the woman they're paying to spend time with.
Certainly, the non-physical issues could be considered even, but as bad as an arrest or divorce would be, losing life or even a serious thumping would be far worse.
Both, here on the boards, via pm's and e-mails. It's very much appreciated. Especially as shaken up as I am after this. I'm not shutting down shop just yet. Just treading with more trepidation than before. I am tightening up on my current policies and not letting anyone new slide on them. Because what this situation made me realize is NEVER deviate from the "rules" that keep you safe. Especially with someone you have never seen before.
As with all relationships each one is unique, even if an envelope is involved. After you have established a rapport with someone, obviously that is a different case and point than someone you haven't meet before.
Thanks again! and hope we can all get back to the point of this all, (especially me) having fun!
LM