Hello all,

I am caught in a bad situation and need some advice. I fear I have an STD although I am not for sure. I had a milky discharge oozing from down below and some discomfort while urinating. I went to the doctor and they took a urine sample and discovered lots of bacteria in my urine.

I have had a few encounters recently (2-3) so you can imagine my fear. The doc gave me an antibiotic for a urinary infection (not any STD) and I have been about that for about a week. The milky discharge seems to have stopped as well as the discomfort. Although I do still feel a tingling sensation once in a while from down there.

I've already decided upon my retirement from the hobby. My fear of course is not only that I have an STD but could have given something to my wife.

If it turns out I do have one does anyone have any advice for me? Obviously, I will need to have antibiotics and my wife will need to be tested.

Any advice on how to play it out with my wife? Do I have to come clean? Can I pretend I have no idea how it happened and act shocked?

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

Thanks for any input.

...what did the doctors say? I mean doctors arent doctors because they guess alot-- they test and retest and are usually right. Could it be you are just a little stressed and are over reacting? It sounds to me like a regular old bladder infection, If they said thats what it  is then perhaps its is just that-- a bladder infection. If all other symptoms have stopped, and your wife hasnt exhibited any strange signs (odor, discharge, pain during sex) then I would think it best to say you have nothing to worry about, although I would say double check to make sure.

But you also havent said why you are so concearned even after the doctor has already explained it away as a minor urinary disagreement. Dont get me wrong, I do understand if this is your first expierince with something like this-- but is there something else to it as well? You didnt, say, do anything bareback did you?

On the other hand, for your wife, signs may not always (and can often never) appear as easily. So if you truly think there is something else afoot here, your best bet is to come clean. Because if you did transfer something other than common vaginitis (a general term for cooter infection, that just sounds really bad) it will show up under the bacteria test, and it will come out. The best thing for a relationship when things like that happen is to be honest from the start, so as not to pile lies, upon lies, on top of a mistake.

And yes, if you had a urine or even a common bacterial infection that can be transeferred; the good news on that is though, a doctor could clarify for you wife with certainty, that its not anything sexually derived, and quite often a commonplace occurance. But as I said anything other than vaginitis cannot be played off... even though I dont reccomend lying anyhow, I understand your situation.

Good luck-- but as I said before I am sure you are fine, but you know your own body better than anyone on this board would-- so if you feel there is something wrong, go back and test again....

Dani

By the way.... milky discharge= the bodys natural reaction to anything bacterial...

I say listen to you doctor.

Before panicing and letting your imagination go wild remember the Dr would hopefuly recognize signs of std. If you do not wish it to show up on insurance records etc there are labs that do annonymous testing also you can go to the local health department. Get tested first. You did not mention nature of encounters and use of protection in such so I cannnot comment on risk factor. Do not go off deep end till you have results then if it is worse case scenarion get some counseling on how to handle. Btw I do not know about in men but that is simular to symptoms we girls have if there is a urinary track infection. But untill you get test results do not keep beating yourself over the head with what if scenarios

I can symphatize with you.  I had my own recent scare with similar symptoms as you described.  I contacted the ladies I had been with and let them know my symptoms and that they may want to get tested.  In the meantime, I also got tested and results were negative for any STD's.  But to insure 100% peace of mind, or as close to that as possible, I requested the antibiotics from the doctor.

The scare was for real and I really had to evaluate my choices regarding the seeing the ladies.  Best wishes with your choice of retirement and good luck with the situation with your wife.

My first marriage ended about the time I came home with a big dose of crabs. By this time I didn't give a shit, but it was pretty hard to explain, so I didn't bother. Next day I came home to my clothes all over the front yard. Threw the clothes in my Jag and that was that. I feel your pain, would not want to go through it again. Cost me plenty and took a few years to recover from financially.

Thanks everyone for your responses.  It certainly helps me feel better.

I did forget to mention nature of contact.  FS has ALWAYS been covered for sure.  However, there definitely has been BBBJ.  If I were to have something it would almost have to come from BBBJ.  I must also say I had a recent encounter where kissing was involved and not long after I had some chancre sores in my mouth although they went away in a couple of days.  I should also mention even before hobbying it's not uncommon for me to get chancre sores in the mouth occasionally.

I did pick up on other posts and went and got tested today at a lab.  I should have the results back in a couple of days.  I'm hoping for all hope for a clean bill of health.

Regarding the visit to the doctor, all they basically said was that my urine contained a lot of bacteria.  They asked me if I had been exposed to STDs and I told them not as far as I knew.  

They put me on an antibiotic that I have been taking for about a week now.  The milky discharge seems to have stopped along with the major discomfort.  I do have some tingling sensations and occasionally slight discomfort still but not nearly as bad as before starting the antibiotic.  Hopefully, in a couple of days I can breathe easier.

If you decide you must do it, then I would say that you occasionally get a sensual massage, one time things got out of hand (so to speak) and you got some bare back oral pleasure.  Obviously this unfortunate event lead to your condition.

She'll still be pissed off, but she'll want to believe the best (if you've been a good husband otherwise) and it will not seem quite as bad as if you did the whole nine yards.

If that seems like a cynical approach then don't do it.  But personally I don't think there's any virtue in telling your spouse everything just so you can unburden your soul.  She'll be miserable and so will you.

Not a licensed therapist-- but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.

that's what it sounds like.  It's that creepy tingling that makes you think you're screwed...doesn't it?   Let the antibiotics do their thing.  It takes a couple weeks to feel like you're gonna be ok.  Go to an anonymous std testing place and get the whole work up and wait to see what transpires.  The STD testing is probably not needed, given that your doctor probably took blood tests already, but it'll give you piece of mind if you do it.  So do it.

I had something similar come up, and it turned out to just be a garden variety bladder infection.  They gave me an anti-biotic, and that was that.  Hell, I have had worse anti-biotic experiences from ear infections (I have had several hundred in my life.  My doctor says my eardrum has more scars than a prize fighter).  If the symptoms have gone away, you are probably OK.  If you are concerned, get tested for specific STD's.  If you don't want to use your ordinary doctor, most cities have confidential clinics for such things, and you usually pay for them on a sliding scale.  Go in, tell them what is happening, and get tested.  They are not judgmental, so you do not have to worry about them.  If you are really worried, you can tell them you picked up a girl at a bar, and you don't even have to tell them it was a provider.

You are probably fine, but if you are worried, get tested again.


Light

"Cowards can never be moral."
M.K. Gandhi

I had a milky discharge that ended up being a side effect of an anti-anxiety medication.  Because I have also had a vasectomy, the two combined to provide a backwash of seman in my urine.  Sounds gross... but it was good news when you consider the alternatives.

This incident led me to completely reconsider who I would see.  It also reinforced my "covered" policy... that I have never... nor will ever... break.

In the end, it sounds like it is time for you to get out and re-examine your life.  With respect to your wife, find out what your doctor says and if necessary come clean exposing only the very minimum of details.  When you do, expect the marriage to be over.

But I agree with whoever said no full confession or bearing of your soul.  There are a lot of pratical reasons why this is bad but the truth is your wife probably doesn't deserve the burden of knowing all your indiscretions.  After all... that was your decision (just as mine are my decisions)... not hers.

Good luck and stay safe.

Everybody keeps talking about blood tests, but they really only routinely do blood tests (called VDRL) for syphillis and HIV, neither of which produces the symptoms described.  GC and chlamydia are tested either by swabbing the urethra (I work in the hospital and have had to "clean the stovepipe" on many a dude) or a newer test that can be run on the first portion of a voided urine.  After working in a lab for many years, I've never seen GC or chlamydia (STDs which produce these effects) tested using blood samples.