I had seen signs, I just didn't want to believe it. I think it is like most of you guys's wives and their lack of connecting the dots. They see signs but don't want to connect the dots so they don't. I knew something was up but lied to myself as I didn't want to see the truth.

her having hidden the activity, than the activity itself.

But then, as a monger, are you really in a position to say anything at all?

Fair is fair.

CW

nothing would surprise me.

You didn't exactly ask but I think the question is implied:  How I would feel about it is rather complicated, but has more to do with the deception rather than the fact of their profession.

there were dots to connect but

i really didn't give a damn when it came to an exSO. maybe she was, maybe she wasn't. i simply didn't care. as long as the arrangement between us was fair and reciprocal, why would i?

she was an intelligent, beautiful and talented artist who would (on the average) pick up a guy a day. we had been friends first for some years. as i started to move closer to asking her "out" her best friend warned me that my intended SO liked older guys who were "generous". best friend also warned me that she didn't think i was looking for something like that: it would be a disaster.

SINCE I DID NOT CARE about the dots and their connections, it turned out to be a fabulous 10+ year run. i still don't know and don't care.

for me the key would be: you see dots? you connect them? how much do you care? i never questioned her as to whether she was a civy or a pro. the distinction was not important.

My wife was formerly a provider.

I never knew until the SHTF for her mentally and it was necessary for me to find out in the course of her treatment.