On the SD board there are many people complaining how Victoria Von Helkine stood them up whilst she was here, only gave out partial details so they couldn't find where she was staying.

But in several cases the guys are hoping she will return! Is beauty really so important that she can treat people so badly and yet still have them hope she will give them another chance?

I guess I don't need to understand it but I wish I did.

lots of guys will let you get away with a lot of BS, and if you are young enough it seems there are plenty who will even let you get away with cash and dash.

But over the years I have found that professionalism, or just being a decent person, is far more important.  I don't look for Barbie Dolls.  I enjoy the company of "for real" women, and body type, looks, bust size, age, etc. lack significance next to being human. Laughing, talking, and simply enjoying each others company, vertically and horizontally, far outweighs anything that's been descibed as only skin deep.

As long as she is my body type and attractive enough for me to get the wood going, performance is what makes it.

Superstar looks and a cold personality/performance just don't cut it.

Hobby On!

gg

For example Ali is known for her great warmth and character as well as her model perfect looks.

Thank you.  You stole the words out of my mouth.

I too prefer to search by "performance" rather than by the "looks" category.

But ...

But there's a bare minimum in "looks" that I require. Below that standard, and just about NOTHING she does in "performance" -- neither specific acts, nor attitude, nor overall professionalism, nor any other intangible -- will make it up. So, as you say, "As long as she is my body type and attractive enough for me to get the wood going" THEN her performance is all that matters.

Unfortunately, for me, that level of "as long as she is ... attractive enough" is quite high. Like, in the 9s 10s range. I find that most of the women rated as 7s or lower by most men are NOT "attractive enough" and, consequently, my neat theory about preferring performance over looks never plays out in practice.

So, in theory, I prefer performance over looks. But in practice, there are so FEW women "attractive enough" that the search for performance is almost moot. I won't go with someone who's below a 7 in EITHER category ... but I am disappointed that I don't get to pick and choose based on differences in the PERFORMANCE category, and that's simply because in my home town the LOOKS category is such a significant factor IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I'm like this with girlfriends as well as with providers. If she's a 7 or lower, in my assessment, then I only want a one-night-stand. If she's an 8, I want to date her but not exclusively. If she's a 9 or 10 (again, in my own opinion) then AND ONLY THEN do I want to try to make her a longer-term girlfriend. I can't defend these choices -- they're, quite simply, "hard wired" into my head. It's the way my preferences came out, when I was born (or, more accurately, when I discovered them as an adolescent) and there's frankly no changing them. In fact, I went through quite a soul-searching crisis in my young adulthood for feeling "guilty" about preferring a certain body-type, a certain level of attractiveness, as though it were somehow "unfair" or politically incorrect to judge on the basis of a woman's appearance.

But in my near-middle-age I've ended up cutting myself more slack. Now, I allow myself to feel free to be me, and to therefore reject suitors -- whether civilian, or potential hobby providers -- if they aren't "attractive enough," and *I* get to define what "enough" means. That isn't EXACTLY "judging by looks alone," since in theory I'd reject people whose "performance" or character were below-par, wonky, or simply out-of-whack with my own, regardless of their looks; but, since in practice I've NEVER MET A 10, certainly not a civilian, I don't end up living by my theory very often.

It disappoints me. If only the women I could "date" were physically more appealing -- if only they didn't let their bodies go to shit -- if only they were all born perfect 10s ... heck, my choices would be SO much easier.



Or would they ... imagine, all those tempting women all over the place. Geez, too much to contemplate!


-- Modified on 4/15/2003 3:57:30 PM

My impression of what he wrote is that he _searches_ for ladies based upon their personalities, rather than their looks.  Not that he thinks all beautiful women are cold and boring.  

I think it's the old question of which would one choose, given the choice between the two:  A "10, 7" or a "7, 10"?  There is no right answer--it's just a matter of priority.

BTW, I also think that Ali is a winning combination of beauty, brains, and down-to-earth warmth and charm.  


-- Modified on 4/15/2003 6:01:34 PM

...professionalism gets regular customers.

Tonight I had the best of all worlds.  Thought I was going for a Barbie Doll.  Listed as 20 years old.  Blonde hair down to her butt, Nicole Kidman curls, drapes match the carpet.

Got here for 2 hours, and was the most killer massage, sensous, go slow kind of girl you could ever imagine.  We had a great time.  Or at least I did.  

Drinks after.  Talked to her about her age.  Didn't think she was 20.  I guessed 24.  Reality was 26.  She said "sorry, i guess someone lied to you about my age".   Yep, the web site said 20, but she had life skills beyond that.  And professionalism to boot.  

I've now create the ej2 theorem on minimum age.  I'll post it in another thread.

Yes..true it is..

for me ,it all depends on what I am looking for at that time.

sometimes all I want is a playtoy, barbie doll, or piece of meat to have fun with; other times I desire a GFE type companionship. mostly I notice that the former is selected by looks, while the latter is chosen by repeat visits to a local favorite who knows me a little better. that's not to say that I don't make a good connection with someone I only expected to be physical with. conversely, my ATF is  amazingly cute and adorable at least in my eyes. part of the allure to meeting these ladies is the variety and challenge to make each encounter uniquely different. just have to do a little homework and research reviews to make sure I am getting what I want and commnuicate those expectations. doesn't always work out that way, but sure is fun trying.  

beauty and brains is always most definitely sexy, mr.man  
"give me ambiguity, or give me something else"

I didn't say "I don't go for Barbie Dolls".  I said that I don't  look for them specifically.  I have been on dates with women that would be considered of that type, and have thoroughly enjoyed myself.  I don't know Ali, But her reputation precedes her and I have no doubt she's wonderful to be with.

All I meant is that looks, in my opinion, although important (a lady DOES have to turn me on), can be secondary to performance, attitude, and other things that are as much vertical as they are horizontal.

beauty is important but as far as I'm concerned it comes after professionalism.

If a lady makes it a habit of missing her appointments without any reason, then I will not see her, whatever her looks and skills. It's just a question of respect. I am always respectful and on time for my appointments, I do not see why the lady would not be the same, just because she's gorgeous.

Thanks to all above for the kind words

 I have a quote on my site that my mom would tell me when I was a little girl..she said..'Beauty will get you in the door but after 5 mins., you're on your own'..I guess this would apply to this thread.
 Another thing she's say when I got too cocky about something is
'your nose is too high in the air, you're going scrape it on the ceiling'..I remembered this one when I was putting together the text for my site..I didn't want it to sound like a MC was reading it off index cards for a beauty pageant contestant.

is only the spell of the moment; the eye of the body is not always that of the soul."  George Sand

Perhaps, L.L. I am biased, but I'm firmly convinced that you are a perfect example of a woman who, while not exactly a Barbie Doll, is eminently huggable!