Write Review
2,079,662 Total Reviews 4,166 New Reviews
9,619 Users Online

TER General Board

I know London might chime in on this one...
EstellaAyrs See my TER Reviews 1173 reads
posted

As one of those silly providers out there that has made the choice to refrain from dating in their personal life while participating in this profession, every once in awhile I find myself in a strange situation. I know there are other women like myself that don't really have a "personal" sex life, so to speak, and mostly rely on our gentleman friends to provide the sexual outlet we might need from time to time. As I mentioned above, I believe I read London say at one point that she operates similarly to this as well.

Anyway, what happens when you don't work for a few weeks and find yourself feeling...well, like you really just want to get laid?

Now for someone who is lower volume like me,  who focuses more on multi-hour sessions/overnights and may rarely see more than a few men per week, there can be times when you're not hurting for money really and you just end up not working for a few weeks, without really intending for that. It's nice, but on the other hand, I find myself getting more and more stir crazy when this happens. I start almost considering sex with exes, etc, and other stupid behavior because my brain is getting clouded due to the lack of sexual relations.

Did anyone ever see that Seinfeld where Elaine was dating someone in med school who couldn't pass his exams so she stopped having sex with him to help him increase his brain functioning? Well when they stopped having sex he got smarter and passed the exam and she got dumber because her brain was all clouded over.

I just thought this was probably the type of situation you men would enjoy hearing about, lol.

WondersOfTheWrld460 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
CincinnatiGuy352 reads

Gawd you're hot! :-)

ReplyQuoteReport
clarence37351 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
inicky46377 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
macdaddy1944324 reads

you need a dependable fuck buddy..i have business cards..

Posted By: EstellaAyrs

As one of those silly providers out there that has made the choice to refrain from dating in their personal life while participating in this profession, every once in awhile I find myself in a strange situation. I know there are other women like myself that don't really have a "personal" sex life, so to speak, and mostly rely on our gentleman friends to provide the sexual outlet we might need from time to time. As I mentioned above, I believe I read London say at one point that she operates similarly to this as well.

Anyway, what happens when you don't work for a few weeks and find yourself feeling...well, like you really just want to get laid?

Now for someone who is lower volume like me,  who focuses more on multi-hour sessions/overnights and may rarely see more than a few men per week, there can be times when you're not hurting for money really and you just end up not working for a few weeks, without really intending for that. It's nice, but on the other hand, I find myself getting more and more stir crazy when this happens. I start almost considering sex with exes, etc, and other stupid behavior because my brain is getting clouded due to the lack of sexual relations.

Did anyone ever see that Seinfeld where Elaine was dating someone in med school who couldn't pass his exams so she stopped having sex with him to help him increase his brain functioning? Well when they stopped having sex he got smarter and passed the exam and she got dumber because her brain was all clouded over.

I just thought this was probably the type of situation you men would enjoy hearing about, lol.

ReplyQuoteReport
EstellaAyrs589 reads


Gotta tell ya, sex for money is waaay hotter than just sex from my end. Don't know why, it just is.

The problem with the civvie fuck buddy is that they wont go away once summoned, and are rarely there when you want them to be.

PS I've been to Cincinnati. I left my watch there in a hotel room almost 10 years ago now. By any chance have you found it? lol

Related Link: http://www.EstellaAyres.com

ReplyQuoteReport
CincinnatiGuy319 reads

Posted By: EstellaAyrs
PS I've been to Cincinnati. I left my watch there in a hotel room almost 10 years ago now. By any chance have you found it? lol
Nope.  It's gone.  Time for you to accept it and move on with your life. ;-)

-- Modified on 12/13/2012 11:53:48 PM

ReplyQuoteReport
AnotherPerspective352 reads

If fuck buddy number 1 doesn't answer try the next on your list :-D

A  fuck buddy that plays by civilian rules only shows up for fucking .
  No movies , dinners , sleep overs or breakfast in bed  .
 
    No questioning the rules  , or it's over .

Posted By: EstellaAyrs

Gotta tell ya, sex for money is waaay hotter than just sex from my end. Don't know why, it just is.

The problem with the civvie fuck buddy is that they wont go away once summoned, and are rarely there when you want them to be.

PS I've been to Cincinnati. I left my watch there in a hotel room almost 10 years ago now. By any chance have you found it? lol

ReplyQuoteReport
Kelly_James370 reads

See, some ladies really do have fun at work!  Good for you.  I'm quite certain you'll have a gentleman caller very soon :D

ReplyQuoteReport
clarence37413 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
Bromios323 reads

Posted By: EstellaAyrs

Gotta tell ya, sex for money is waaay hotter than just sex from my end. Don't know why, it just is.

The problem with the civvie fuck buddy is that they wont go away once summoned, and are rarely there when you want them to be.
I'd say I love ya if that wouldnt defeat the point.  You like sex while providing for the same reason I like hobby sex.  That makes me grin for some reason.  Solution?  Hire a guy!

ReplyQuoteReport
cutehunkie307 reads

If you have no need to provide for weeks, because you have enough money - and you're giddy,
You need to hire and pay me baby.   And all your erotic needs and itch will be quenched and all your vaginal juices will be sucked dry till you drop.  You'll be drilled for hours. :)

ReplyQuoteReport
unlucky2379 reads

call one of your regulars, give them a discount and still get laid!

ReplyQuoteReport
MagicMedic273 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
EstellaAyrs399 reads

This is actually pretty hilarious to me that not one of you has yet to suggest that I just hold on and schedule someone soon and then just blow up all over them (possibly literally lmao). You're all so instant gratification-crazy. ;)

Come on now, there has to be some guy out there who is going to stick up for the merits of delayed sexual gratification.

-- Modified on 12/13/2012 11:38:20 PM

ReplyQuoteReport
Raceday21281 reads

....that's like the orgasm you have when you haven't had one in awhile......the whole experience is soooooo much better!!!!

ReplyQuoteReport
Sidney Starr358 reads

Haha many will say just get it over with and play with yourself little lady. But when it's been a while, masterbation is BORING. I want the real thing. I have a civvie f*ck buddy myself. Works like a charm if both of us are in town. If not it is a different story. A woman can get awfully cranky when she goes without sex for a while!!!! ;-)

ReplyQuoteReport
eurotool273 reads

Sidney I doubt you ever get a chance to even get annoyed let alone cranky.

ReplyQuoteReport
prepkid308 reads

Posted By: EstellaAyrs

As one of those silly providers out there that has made the choice to refrain from dating in their personal life while participating in this profession, every once in awhile I find myself in a strange situation. I know there are other women like myself that don't really have a "personal" sex life, so to speak, and mostly rely on our gentleman friends to provide the sexual outlet we might need from time to time. As I mentioned above, I believe I read London say at one point that she operates similarly to this as well.

Anyway, what happens when you don't work for a few weeks and find yourself feeling...well, like you really just want to get laid?

Now for someone who is lower volume like me,  who focuses more on multi-hour sessions/overnights and may rarely see more than a few men per week, there can be times when you're not hurting for money really and you just end up not working for a few weeks, without really intending for that. It's nice, but on the other hand, I find myself getting more and more stir crazy when this happens. I start almost considering sex with exes, etc, and other stupid behavior because my brain is getting clouded due to the lack of sexual relations.

Did anyone ever see that Seinfeld where Elaine was dating someone in med school who couldn't pass his exams so she stopped having sex with him to help him increase his brain functioning? Well when they stopped having sex he got smarter and passed the exam and she got dumber because her brain was all clouded over.

I just thought this was probably the type of situation you men would enjoy hearing about, lol.

ReplyQuoteReport
MagicMedic292 reads

He has to be the luckiest bastard on this planet.

ReplyQuoteReport
prepkid280 reads

Posted By: MagicMedic
He has to be the luckiest bastard on this planet.

ReplyQuoteReport
perfectstorm338 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne562 reads

is really of no interest to me outside of the hobby, but keep in mind I do have a sugar daddy or two that keep things going lol. You're right...I hardly ever work for the hobby, but sex is not my main focus when I don't. I guess you could say, I like to preserve the vagina lol. To be rather frank, it gets annoying always having to cater to a man's d*ck, when they can't appreciate what else you have going on in your life...in pay for play, we get that, but I don't feel the need to do the same shit on my off time.

Be it school, another job, a child, personal issues, I can think of so many other things that need taking care of. Now, if I were NOT a hooker and had only one man in my life to take care of, it might be at the top of my main focus, but that's not the case. I need an orgasm like I need another hole in my damn head. If I want a nut, I can take 5 min. and watch redtube. Done deal. Then, I don't have to worry about the bs that comes with trying to be with someone who always needs more, and more, and more.

I had enough casual, meaningless sex from 16-23....enough to last me a life time, so if I am going to be giving up the kitty, I am getting paid one way or the other.



-- Modified on 12/14/2012 11:35:05 AM

ReplyQuoteReport
swingsbothways330 reads

you and I have similar sex drives.  It's very easy for me to have sex, but very difficult to have an emotional relationship.  It's that part of myself that is special and I have rarely shared it.  Sooo...

I always kept a fuck buddy. Going out to a bar and picking someone up has logistical and safety issues and calling up ex's is a REALLY bad idea.  'Cause then you have to figure out how to get rid of him again!!  But a fuck buddy cures all of that.  My big rule on this one was the he was NEVER allowed to stay the night and when we hung out, we went dutch.  No blurring of the lines.  And if emotions started to form because of the sex and I knew we had zero chance of ever working as a couple, I was out.  

And I guess I could have tried self-induced celibacy but knew it would never work for me.  I need sex regularly or I am too tense to get anything done.  A few hours of good sex clears my mind and relaxes me.  

But because of your unique situation, have you thought of seeing a favorite client on the side?  You already know what they are like in bed and hopefully have a good read on the crazy factor.

ReplyQuoteReport
swingsbothways347 reads

Just incase you are reading this and wondering what the fuck I am talking about!

ReplyQuoteReport
EstellaAyrs299 reads

I agree with London on the fact that giving a discount to a regular would not help the situation. I would want sex with intimacy from someone I choose myself if I'm not going to get paid for it. The paying for it is hot, but of course, it's not about me so it wouldn't be as satisfying. And I would never pay a man for that as most likely it would be unsatisfying since we wouldn't have a seduction before that, etc. Plus, there are no gigolos in DSM. Remember, women can have sex whenever they want, for us it's not about that, it's typically about who it's with and how well they know what floats your boat, it takes a long time to train someone properly. In the face of that, I just usually go rub one out in the shower, hah.

Unfortunately, prepkid, there's no lawn boy. I don't have a lawn, I live in a high rise, lol.

Masturbation is one thing, but it doesn't cure all. This is a situation that doesn't happen often enough to enlist a fuck buddy that would be harassing me all the time and want more, more and more, for free. No thank you. In fact, I just have a distaste for free sex ever since I started providing, it kind of makes me feel like someone got one over on me, lol.

I did use to have a sugar daddy that cured the problem, but then he wanted more, more, more too and started stalking me, so that didn't work out and I had to move.

It's just one of those silly little itches that wouldn't exist if those Des Moines men didn't have so many holiday plans I guess, lol.

Related Link: http://www.EstellaAyres.com

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne466 reads

Posted By: EstellaAyrs
I agree with London on the fact that giving a discount to a regular would not help the situation. I would want sex with intimacy from someone I choose myself if I'm not going to get paid for it. The paying for it is hot, but of course, it's not about me so it wouldn't be as satisfying. And I would never pay a man for that as most likely it would be unsatisfying since we wouldn't have a seduction before that, etc. Plus, there are no gigolos in DSM. Remember, women can have sex whenever they want, for us it's not about that, it's typically about who it's with and how well they know what floats your boat, it takes a long time to train someone properly. In the face of that, I just usually go rub one out in the shower, hah.

Unfortunately, prepkid, there's no lawn boy. I don't have a lawn, I live in a high rise, lol.

Masturbation is one thing, but it doesn't cure all. This is a situation that doesn't happen often enough to enlist a fuck buddy that would be harassing me all the time and want more, more and more, for free. No thank you. In fact, I just have a distaste for free sex ever since I started providing, it kind of makes me feel like someone got one over on me, lol.

I did use to have a sugar daddy that cured the problem, but then he wanted more, more, more too and started stalking me, so that didn't work out and I had to move.

It's just one of those silly little itches that wouldn't exist if those Des Moines men didn't have so many holiday plans I guess, lol.

ReplyQuoteReport
MagicMedic257 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
crazyshit365 reads

I understand not wanting to cloud relationships with work while you're working in the sex industry, but if it's purely just down to physical need, then why not have a fuck buddy?

Are you wired such that if it's not a transaction, then you feel like you might develop feelings?

By the way, that's not me judging you.  That's just a question.

ReplyQuoteReport
MagicMedic306 reads

If the other person treats you right, the two of you enjoy each other in bed, then why not.

I think it's great to have someone that knows when and where to touch you, just at the right time to send you over the top. Someone that is not up your ass 24 hours a day (figure of speech, don't get excited), but when you see them no matter how the time starts you know it's going to end with curled toes and leg cramps.

What is wrong with that?

-- Modified on 12/14/2012 11:59:29 PM

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne459 reads

Did that bs for many years and never found solace in any of it, and if I need a nut....I have a website where one can easily find me. Besides...there is no such thing as a fk buddy. Either one person falls for he other, there is too much drama, or they both end up hating each other. I have had them before, but not for long. If it is only sex, I get bored rather quickly.

-- Modified on 12/15/2012 12:26:23 AM

ReplyQuoteReport
CincinnatiGuy385 reads

Posted By: London Rayne
Did that bs for many years and never found solace in any of it, and if I need a nut....I have a website where one can easily find me. Besides...there is no such thing as a fk buddy. Either one person falls for he other, there is too much drama, or they both end up hating each other. I have had them before, but not for long. If it is only sex, I get bored rather quickly.

-- Modified on 12/15/2012 12:26:23 AM
You don't believe in love? :-(  I've seen only blurry pics and I'm in love with you. ;-)

ReplyQuoteReport
EstellaAyrs319 reads

Posted By: London Rayne
Did that bs for many years and never found solace in any of it, and if I need a nut....I have a website where one can easily find me. Besides...there is no such thing as a fk buddy. Either one person falls for he other, there is too much drama, or they both end up hating each other. I have had them before, but not for long. If it is only sex, I get bored rather quickly.

-- Modified on 12/15/2012 12:26:23 AM
Exactly. That's why fuck buddy is not an option. I may be old fashioned but, if you're not going to date me, and you're not going to pay me, you're not going to lay me. There is no such thing as casual sex to me. I believe that something is only valuable when YOU value it and assign value to it and, treat it as such. Nothing is worth anything if you just throwing it around and give it out to whoever asks just because you feel slightly horny. I just don't have the 22 yr old slutty bar girl personality, what can I say?

I guess I like the idea that my gentleman friends can always know that I'm not out there having sex with some dude I met 5 minutes ago who bought me enough drinks just because I was feeling frisky, and that it would have been just that easy if they had been that man sitting there buying the drinks. I spend most nights out when I do go out, explaining this to whomever I meet after they ask me why they can't take me home.

But I will say that as long as both people are honest about what it is and into it, feel free, I'm just not that girl.
Related Link: http://www.EstellaAyres.com

ReplyQuoteReport
crazyshit272 reads

You said in the original post that you sometimes needed sex, but that your usual behavior was making bad choices by having sex with exs as an example.  Did you do that because you need to have feelings involved with having sex?  Because if that's the case, then obviously we can both agree that having sex with an ex when you have feelings involved is a very bad idea, unless the two of you are really ready to revisit those feelings.

I understand the whole idea of not giving it away, and I know the fact that you work as a sex worker doesn't really change your entire notion and ideals of what sex should be like.  I get that; I really do.

But what are you looking for?  You want sex because you need sex, but is the sex just a manifestation of your need for companionship?  Do you need sex because of the physical urge to have an orgasm, or do you need to have sex because you need to feel like you have someone else around that values you as a person before you sleep with him?

Depending on what you want, it seems like what you might need to do is just find a boyfriend and be honest with him that you fuck other guys for money.  Because at some point, if this is the way you're wired, you might not be able to do everything.

Either that, or book a lot more appointments with guys so you don't violate the "I don't give it up for nothing, honey" rule.

ReplyQuoteReport
crazyshit285 reads

Everyone is wired differently.  I know plenty of people who are perfect sex buddies.  I had one for many years in this city, and we literally were the best fuck buddies.  Total friends, and we would just hook up with each other if the time and mood matched up.  If not, then it wasn't a big deal.

I do agree that people will need more in the long run to keep them happy, but I think for SOME, this can work out.  I can only speak for myself, and you can only speak for yourself.

I am certainly not speaking for you.

ReplyQuoteReport
ArisRose316 reads

Join a fetish site and say you have an ass buffet.
Get ready for DATO all weekend.

ReplyQuoteReport
Post Reply Back To Forum
Register Now!