and considering EVERYTHING related to the hobby:  yourself, fellow hobbyists, the providers, TER and other sites, escort malls,  individual provider websites, the terminology, the many nutty-looking  abbreviations, some of the convoluted detail on some provider websites, the surprises both good and bad you encounter, reviews, M & Gs, TOFTTing, etc...what is the one thing about this activity that you  cannot take seriously? [And by that i'm thinking, what provides you with unintended amusement and humor here.] Or at least not in the spirit in which it is intended?  Come loaded for bear if you are so inclined.  But remember, please, i'm trying to elicit responses from the lighter side of this pursuit.  However, all responses will be of interest to our community here.

For me, it's a relatively small thing -- the use of the terms "gift" and "donation" as euphemisms for the word "fee."  That never fails to provide amusement, mostly of the wrong kind, to me.  And I'm not sure why.  But I've always been easily amused.

What makes it, or doesn't make it as the case may be, for you?

If you're offering multiple examples, please rank them.

-- Modified on 7/21/2007 8:47:29 AM

In the way you would describe an ugly blind date to your friend as "nice."

For providing purposes, it is important that the client has a nice personality.  I believe that. After all, it would be impossible for all their clients to be physically hot.

What I don't believe is that internally, they are thinking that.  Providers are people with personal tastes too.  What I believe, but can't prove, is that when a great provider is with someone they personally find unattractive, they can still think "what an ugly fuck this guy is" even while providing consistent great service.  A good provider lets it show by not doing certain things [all her reviews say DFK, but for some reason, despite your attention to hygiene and good breath she won't do it with you].  A bad provider will let it show in a more obvious way.  

Almost no provider will turn away an ugly guy if he's clean, courteous, prompt and full of cash.  But I'll bet they take 5 showers after seeing us anyway.

I also believe that there is a very small minority of providers for whom appearance really is not an issue but it's not easy to distinguish them from the rest.  After all, what provider is going to tell a paying client she considers him ugly?

-- Modified on 7/21/2007 7:54:22 AM

-- Modified on 7/21/2007 7:55:28 AM

-- Modified on 7/21/2007 9:33:40 AM

I try to keep my hobbying within certain financial limitations.  Some of these ladies are way out of my league in their asking donation.  Because I understand that it is not polite to try to negotiate, I move on.  Yes, there are many outstanding ladies in the $$$-$$$$ range and I am VERY THANKFUL for those ladies who know how to put a smile on my face.

One of the things that makes me smile - GFE. I've never had a girlfriend (or wife for that matter) who's been as uninhibited or wildly enthusiastic as some of the women I've encountered in this hobby. I guess if I did have a girlfriend like that, I wouldn't be hobbying.

I think about broads broadly too.

It is a donation that they ask for.  Almost all websites state that very clearly.  If it were a fee, we would be engaging in prostituion and that is so far from my intention, I can even spell the word.  The charity is the whole reason I'm in this hobby.  In addition to the get taste in underwear the ladies exhibit.

Secondly, I would say posts on TER that try to direct your reply in detail, like "rank your multiple answers."  As if a #2 pencil is not enough, now we have to fill in the oval completely.  For ranking purposes, this is a distance second.

"get" should be "great" and "distance" should be "distant".  My bad, no eraser on the #2 this morning.

I find it very difficult to take reviews very seriously.

I know that some are  accurate and that some reviewers are truthful, but, I have know several ladies well enough to have them tell me how much BS a specific review might be.

I read them, and take what I read with a grain of salt.

That's one thing that I just can't take to seriously.

Just my opinion...
B

I too, count myself among the spelling-impaired, as well as the typing-deficient [hope i spelled that right, er, I mean corrctly].]

The spelling, or rather misspelling. of words in the ads and websites.  Sometimes I can't help but chuckle when I read them.  

The other might be the photo selections.  5 or 6 photos are plenty as long as they are in various poses so we get a clue as to what they look like.  We don't really need 20 shots of their ass or boobs (not that there's anything wrong with that).  I know those are great assets, but what about the rest of the body?

I 2 have also always chuckled at the term "donation". If it were a true "donation" wouldn't we be able to decide the amount for ourselves? I mean if she advertises one thing and then doesn't perform said activity shouldn't we be able to lower the "donation"?
I agree about the pics on websites...Stop covering so much or folding your body to try and hide the fact that you might be a BBW.

It seems 99% of the women in this hobby are college educated and they feel they need to state that in their ads and website.  Use to be in didn't take a diploma to do this kinda thing.  And I've never seen one hanging on the wall during visits to their place.

Does he come back for reunions?

I would guess that most of the women who advertise this seek a client base who selects their companionship based not only upon sex/body type, but also intellect and competence. I personally am still in school, but when I graduate I don't plan to hang shit on my walls for clients to see- it's discretion, simple as that. Do you feel that these women are lying, or that they should not be proud of this, or what?? :/

XoXo,
Marea

-- Modified on 7/21/2007 8:20:17 PM

As an older gent [sigh], I need a provider to be a good conversationalist on at least one topic of interest.

This helps to pass the time during the refractory period.

Also, it betters the odds that she'll understand the many feeble, if not painful, attempts at levity I'll make.  Mostly to displace the aniexty I feel over the ever-increasing lenght of that same damn refractory period.

BTW, what's your major?

There is nothing wrong with being proud of a college degree.  Like any other accomplishment it is a source of personal pride.  I would not however expect a provider to have their degree, with their real name, hanging on the wall for all to see.  Heck, I don;t have my degree's hanging on the wall either.  Most of us are looking for a little chemistry and not a specific intellectual level.  Personality and chemistry are key factors in my opinion.

And some of us DO have college degree - as many of the men who have paid me a visit have noted, because my degrees (plural) hang right on my office wall. If you look closely, you'll even see the little sticker attached indicating that my degrees were awarded with honors. Alongside those degrees, is the certificate of memberhsip I recieved when I was inducted into an honor society in college.

Grrr, society has enough stereotypes of women in this profession. Its tiresome to see those same stereotypes continue to abound here.

Well if she is a secret, why advertise at all.  Why not keep it a secret.

And if in fact she is a secret, why does everybody talk about her?

That is the one that raises my blood pressure.


-- Modified on 7/21/2007 1:57:16 PM

-- Modified on 7/21/2007 1:57:48 PM

(1) that it's a "Girlfriend Experience."  Honestly, "Girlfriend experience" is about as much like a girlfriend as a Disney amusement ride is like the thing it purports to be.

stud, man meat, hey you, honey, sugar, babe, or some other form of generalized term?

I'll stick to gentleman, thank you!

I've found the reviews to be pretty accurate as to the performance of the ladies but two things always make me shake my head: #1 How many O's the lady has (sure fucking 5 middle aged (some downright ugly) gets the girls hot. #2 The appearance scores :generally speaking I rate them 1-2 notches lower. Ain't that many models out there or in the real world.

"once in a lifetime's" is one reviewer allowed to have?

Victoria Snow had an ad that said 32A. aqll natural. Now who would get A-size implants? That would be malpractice for sure!

Or on the other side, a girl with obvious bolt-ons advertising all natural.

-- Modified on 7/21/2007 6:56:03 PM

If I may be so immodest, I'd like to suggest that the "10" rating be changed to something like "I thought I died and went to heaven" or something along those lines.

I think you have given me my next post.

Thanks splunge...your post made me laugh out loud, just at the thought!!!

this way at least those who do make innocent errors can correct them vs. those who are just plain old illiterate and don't know the difference. LOL!

I hesitated putting it on my website but I have had gentlemen tell me they enjoyed reading a little trivia about me. Fortunately, the majority of my friends are intelligent, caring human beings. Whether it's my pics, the college degree or my award-winning personality (wink), it just adds a little human interest and personal touch when referring to a person's background. It also depicts -- at least to me -- that someone could have a lot of self-dicipline, which I would find as a bonus. I worked a full-time job while in different neck and ankles braces after surgeries, and still I drove an hour (each way) to go to classes. And, as far as degrees on the wall, I have of few of them hanging but not too many people see them as most of my memorabilia is in my office, and that's my private space.

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 7/21/2007 8:43:18 PM

-- Modified on 7/22/2007 8:06:22 PM

That's a common phrase used among providers. Hey! It may sound stupid to you, but some of us will say other things to divert as much attention away from us possible. We have to be very careful what we say. As soon as you say the word money, rate, etc., that's an additional invitation to get arrested. It's so easy for you guys to sit back and laugh, but you don't have websites offering GFE, etc. Elle doesn't need any help. So . . . if it makes us feel better then who cares? Geez! Is it me or are you guys getting really cynical lately on the board?  I think it's time for a time-out for me again. It's not as much fun as it used to be here.

Hugs,
Ciara

it's just plain silly to me...helpful for many but very silly...like the reviews, some accurate and real, some fake so that they can get free membership or screw with other peoples livelyhood...but why does one need to be so graphic, really, when providers asks other providers for references they give one line such as...he's a terrific gentleman or he's ok or he's a pig....but the guys write a graphic detailed biography of us inside and out. LOL!
Is it about the male ego? why it is written? probably so....for the most part I think if you wrote  a quick note such as...yes, she was fantastic or she was ok or she was a mess I think everyone would get the point... LOL!

This truely amuses me! Among a slew of other things....

But, for the mostly frustrated writers among us, like myself...

Honestly, these reviews are written by men for our benefit, and there are many things about them i take with more than a grain of salt.  [I'm thinking, salt in the quanity of Lot's wife.]  It only makes sense that things be described and  explained in detail.  I try to weigh the reviews as best i can.

One does appreciate circumspection and modesty in language, however.  I don't think I've ever seen the word "pounded" used more frequently  outside of construction sites, butcher shops, bakeries, and cooking schools than i have here.

BTW, this is probably one of the best threads i've ever started [IMHO, which in truth ain't saying jack].  Please share with use the other many items of amusement and bemusement to you.

Somebody pointed this out a while ago and I found it really funny: They mentioned that the most frequently used phrase in reviews is "Who am I to refuse?" or "Who am I to say no?" Spot on accurate.

Near the bottom of the review instructions it talks about reviews being fiction.  My love of reading and other things has been enhanced since discovering TER a little over 5 years ago.

long enough to know that anyone who posts using an alias is usually just throwing more BS out there.  You should be proud of your working your way through school.  Keep your goals in sight and may all your clients respect you for what you are--a truely outstanding young woman who is motivated to reaching her goals.

that's why I don't take to seriously.

BTW, missed you last night.
I would have enjoyed meeting you.
We had a great, albight, limited by the rains, turnout.


Just my opinion...
B

That shows a GREAT sense of humor and someone not ashamed of their body.  I'd see her just for that.

"Spellcheck" wouldn't have caught either of holeydiver's mistakes because his "wrong" spellings are both actual words and are spelled correctly! "Spellcheck" can't know the meanings of the words, so if a wrong word is used in the context of a message, but is spelled correctly, "Spellcheck" is no help.

T.L.

If a provider is proud of her weight she will generally list it on her site. If she's not, she won't.

another amusing thing is from your post above about the rating of a 10....some take this topic so seriously...oh well, it would be pretty boring if there weren't anyone posting : )

A former fling, before I ever met her, had her DDs reduced to C, then to B, and still wants to get them reduced to A. So hers would not be "all natural".

Spell czech wood knot help.   8o)

the hobby is way to important to take seriously.

That is reserved for work, money, taxes, weddings and funerals.

Assuming the photos are real, you can get that from their websites.  I'm talking about how they feel about hobbyists' appearance.

eom

-- Modified on 7/22/2007 7:42:49 PM

now THAT is Funny !!!

... the 'legal disclaimers' on every website.

somehow i dont think those offer too much legal protection

OMG, thanks for this thread, I guess. I am 34B & do write 'all natural' on my ads. Just cause guys tell me that all the time that I am very natural & I feel that I am. I am not good at writing ads at all. I never thought how silly that may sound as in 'of course she's natural, who would pay to be 34B?'

I still might have to use it anyways.

I hate to see the word 'educated' spelled wrong or some other similar expression.

Sara

-- Modified on 7/22/2007 2:41:24 PM

When the pictures match the lady that's great.  However many providers don't update regularly enough.  When you say you are 105 lbs that's fine but when she shows up you find that she is 145lbs and the pictures are 4 years old.  I don't so much care about the age of the woman if she she looks good and has taken care of herself.  To me it's sort of false advertising.

-I find reading the reviews funny as hell.  They are an important reference but I imagine some bigshot business guy or someone's father any where from 35 to 55 years writing this cheesecake and I laugh my ass off.

-"Upscale" Hah

-The provider scampering to the restroom to retrieve a warm, wet rag and towel to clean my tool off after I blow a wad.

-The white envelope.  Now this is funny as hell.  I thought about how funny it would by if I balled the cash up and put it in a gift wrapped box.  Or wrote a personal check and put that into the envelope just to get a reaction from her.  I keep forgetting to buy a box of those cursed envelopes.