I've been with providers that smoke, including to the homes of a couple that smoke indoors. One in particular smoked while we were together, but then went into the bathroom and when she came out, I couldn't detect a whiff. I'm not sure what her routine was, but she knows my feelings about smoking (apologizing while she lit up ) so I assume that she took the extra steps for my benefit. She asked me repeatedly if she'd de-stunk herself well enough, and indeed she had.
Okay, here's the deal. I quit over 5 years ago, but a month or so ago stupidly picked one up at a party on a whim. Under the current nerve racking circumstances (stock market, first provider encounter, etc.) has me at about 4 or 5 smokes a day. I’ll be quitting again over Thanksgiving. But in the mean time, can’t do it, not this close to this event. I planned on having one about 2 hours before our meet so I’m not jonesin’ half way through. After the smoke I’ll do an extra good scrubbing, body and mouth, to make myself as fresh as possible. I was desensitized to it as a smoker, and have not kissed a smoker since I quit, so I just don’t know. I’m hoping I don’t reek of smoke. I’m still find the odor offensive, and scrub hands and brush teeth immediately after each one to remove the stench.
I’m thinking of just doing the patch that day, but the last time I tried the patch, it seemed to have left me with greatly diminished sexual feeling for some damn reason, and that certainly wouldn’t be good either. I suspect the patch injected more nicotine than I’d been taking in with my limited smoking, and that did it.
Will I be okay with a good scrub, or will she think she’s kissing an ashtray? I'm not talking about a 2 pack a day smoker (like I used to be), but a "closet smoker" taking in 4 or 5 a day. Opinions?
Seeing as you are now at least somewaht of a smoker, and you are concerned with how the lady will feel about that, why not find a provider that smokes? I would think they would be much less critical of the scenario than a non-smoker.
Just a thought, and good luck quitting (again) after Thanksgiving.
Finding a provider who smokes is one way to go. Some ladies, including myself, prefer not to entertain gentlemen who smoke. The problem with smokers is that it usually lingers on your skin and clothes and leaves a smell in our hair or on our bed and in the air. If you plan on seeing a lady please shower when you get there and take advantage of toiletry items she may have like mouthwash and toothbrush. Another problem is most smokers are totaly oblivious to the smell and dont want to shower and it is quite offensive, not to mention I have a slight allergy to cigarette smoke. My eyes get all red and itchy...no good : ( Maybe you can carry a travel toothbrush/toothpaste in case the provider is unprepared just to be on the safe side. Also if you are concerned about being offensive you could just run it by her, tell her you are trying to quit and you dont smoke a pack a day and that you would be happy to shower and stuff as soon as you get there. Im sure most ladies would be so happy with your respectfulness and overlook the smoking. Good luck with your efforts to quit smoking dear, Im sure it is hard but well worth it! Good health ahead!
Best to ask her. I am ready to try quitting again thanksgiving weekend. Dec 18 will be 20 years without a drink, so why is it so hard to quit those smokes? Just keep trying. Good luck with your quitting the cigs
I am a non smoker who was married to a smoker for some years. I am absolutely repelled by the smell of smoke in a persons hair, clothing, skin, breath, everything. My "Ex" respected that enough to be sure that she was odor free when we retired for the night. One problem remains and that is the lungs. You cannot scrub them and when you get into a passionate make-out session with a smoker the smell comes out of the lungs in waves. Kiss an ash tray, OH YEAH!!
I saw a mademoiselle once may years ago at her place, which was on the upper floor of a high rise. It was near dusk, and she never turned on the lights as daylight waned. As the colors bleached out of the sky, I felt that I was inhabiting a black and white photo. Her slight French accent, the lingering taste of a cigarette and her total emotional abandon is forever burned into my brain.
Not being a smoker and only tried it once in high school, I can instantly tell when a client is a smoker. That being said, in my opinion there are two types of smokers.
1) Very aware of their habit and take great strides to keep clean. Washing their hands, face, teeth etc.. Also keeping the ciggie away from their body so it doesn't soak into their clothes and hair. These guys I can get into making out with not prob. (make-out. Now that's showing my age!)
2) Is either unaware or doesn't care about how others may be affected. cig hanging out of his mouth. Smoke penetrating every pore on the body, hair, clothes. The ones I hate the most are the ones that obviously blew smoke out their mouth two seconds before knocking on the door. Their stench pentrating my skin, sheets etc. I'm sorry but I can't bring myself to DFK and barely LFK these guys. UGH.
Unfortunately, if you are quitting, you may not like the smell of smoke on her, too. Even if someone washes their hands and arms and brushes their teeth, I can still taste and smell smoke. I don't particularly care for it. Now, one client and a girlfriend and I smoked a cigar after an appointment for the fun of it, but that was unusual for me, and we did it after the appointment.
It might be an interesting experiment to see if after you smoked, you washed your hair quickly (even leaning over the sink), washed your arms and hands (before you get dressed, of course) brushed your teeth and gargled with Listerine, then took a Listermint right before the appointment. Ask her if she can be honest with you and tell you if she can smell it on you. Curious minds want to know.
All around even with showering and brushing your teeth it is difficult to completely get rid of the smell. It may help a little but once you get into action the smell ozzes from your pores.
Or chew the gum the day of your meeting with her because the other thing that nobody has said is that even with the brushing your teeth, it still sits in your lungs. I'm a non-smoker with a sharp sense of smell, so if most are like me, YMMV with your provider.
My ATF is a smoker. she usually has one or two as we chat at the start of our appointment. She goes into the bathroom, brushes her teeth and washes up. When she comes back we kiss and I can't taste or smell anything.
Now, I am not an ex-smoker. I have never smoked a day in my life. It is pretty common however for a reformed smoker to be much more aware of the smell so I can't promise that if you see a gal who is an ex-smoker she won't notice some residual odor on you...
I can seem to pick up a whiff of smoke from "here to about Saturn!" Yep...cigarette smoke really annoys me. It killed my Dad. So I'm obviously psychologically impacted.
I've only seen one lady that smoked and I didn't know that until I walked into her room. She didn't smoke in the hotel room but I could tell she smoked. She was very clean and a "normal person" probably wouldn't have picked it up..but I did. Yes..it did impact the quality of the engagement and I never went back to her.
I've been with providers that smoke, including to the homes of a couple that smoke indoors. One in particular smoked while we were together, but then went into the bathroom and when she came out, I couldn't detect a whiff. I'm not sure what her routine was, but she knows my feelings about smoking (apologizing while she lit up ) so I assume that she took the extra steps for my benefit. She asked me repeatedly if she'd de-stunk herself well enough, and indeed she had.
Always an issue. As a smoker and as related here don't go through a lot to conceal it, I do worry about it. My last SO was so very sensitive to it that I took as much care as I could. When coming home rushing upstairs to brush, sometimes that in itself was an issue (you ran right by me without a kiss or hello). I will watch this post to see if brushing, washing and mints do the trick, because that is all I know. Until I find a way to finally quit anyway.
Kissing a smoker is truly gross. The worst part is that the smoke gets everywhere, clothes, hair, hands. You can't even get a smell of that "special area."
Thanks for the replies. I'll do my best to minimize any impact. For the record my plan is:
Last smoke before I hit the non-smoking hotel room (about 3 hours before her arrival). Work clothes will go into the closet, and will jump in the shower for a good scrub. Brush teeth, tongue scrape, mouthwash, and Listerine strips. Shower again about a half hour before her arrival so I'm fresh.
I do plan on asking before the evening is finished if she could tell, just out of curiosity. It will NOT be a problem next time. Quitting was tough, but being a smoker again I can honestly say is tougher. I miss being a non-smoker.
.....forgive me, I know this question has got to be stupid, but what does if feel like? Having never been a smoker or close to anyone that tried to quit, what does it really feel like when trying to quit? Is it physical like a drug withdrawl? Is it mostly mental? I hear about craving a smoke, but have to imagine it isn't like when I crave chocolate. Although, sometimes I do feel like I could kill for a See's candy.
I'm really just very curious about what makes it difficult for so many folks to quit. If it's the nicotine that is the addicting ingredient, why do the patches and gums usualy not work? Please don't take my post as facitious (did I spell that right?) It really is sincere curiosity.
Trying to quit is hell. That's why the call the first week "hell week". Not many ever make it through hell week, and even fewer go months or years.
It is both physical and physicalogical withdrawl. First, there's the "habit" of smoking. Get in the car, grab a smoke. Eat dinner, grab a smoke. Moment of stress, grab a smoke. Have sex, grab a smoke! Done day after day, year after year, it becomes second nature.
Then there's the physical withdrawl. Headaches. Dizziness. Jitters. Anxiety. Feeling like you're unable to breath right. Intense urges to smoke.
I successfuly used the patch to quit over 5 years ago. Now the patch is no magic cure. The self discipline it takes to quit is still enourmous. But the patch will reduce and put off most of the physical symptoms of withdrawl, while you do your part to get over the mental apsect of it. "Fight one battle at a time" type of thing, because fighting both at the same time is just too much to overcome for all but a few.
I've heard said it's harder to quit smoking than it is heroin. Not so sure about that, but it could be true I suppose. I know it was the toughest thing I've ever done.
Good thing for me is I'm not back in the "habit" so to speak, so once I get over hell week, I should be pretty much good to go I imagine. Unless I allow this to continue for any longer, then I'd be in some serious trouble I'd bet. But, at this point, one good thing going for me, is I'm mostly seeing all the disadvantages of smoking, and really none of the positive. I miss being a non-smoker, and look forward to returning to that status starting Turkey Day (nice long weekend to get over physical withdrawls before I have to return to, and concentrate on, work).
And, any time you need a little oral exercise to keep from smoking, just give me a call. However, I cannot guarantee that it won'g be smoking hot or that you won't smoke a little afterward.
If she is a non-smoker like me, it doesn't matter if you had a shower, scrub and last smoked two hours before the meet... you will still reek of smoke through your lungs, pores, and with every exhalation... and hence quite literally your every word.
To a non smoker, to kiss a smoker and having the taste and feel of cigarettes penetrated down to your lungs is absolutely hell on earth. I took to insisting on smokers to use mouthwash before kissing me, but in his arms, I hold my breath, turn my head as far as possible, breath sparingly and pray for deliverance. Eventually I just push him aside and sit as far away as possible away from him.
I once had an overnight smoker (also smoked in room) and I woke up in the middle of the night short of breath and having what seemed-to-be an asthmatic attack. I never stayed over with hima again.
I went through a thorough scrubbing, fresh clothes, obviously didn't smoke in the room, stopped smoking 2 hour prior, and did everything I could to freshen my breath as mentioned in a previous post.
After our first hour of getting acquainted, making out, and a first pop, I just casually asked if she could tell that I had been smoking earlier. She looked suprised and said she had no idea.
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