I was totally caught off guard by a call from a woman saying my number was on her husband's cell phone bill several times and she wants to know why and who am I.  She wouldn't give his identity but said i'll be hearing from her again.

I have a blocked number and as long as I call you it doesn't show up but the minute you call me, it shows up? Is this true?

I feel partly responsible for some reason. When i'm on tour, I normally make guys that book on site call for my room number when they arrive at my hotel. Guys that book in advance I always email them the room number or leave it on their voicemail.

Now i'm leary that my number, which I just changed by the way, is all over the place. It's impossible to keep changing numbers when you have family ties. I haven't been very active since my mom passed in April so I could probably make a good guess judging by those I know are married but is it my responsibility now to find and let them know they're being investigated by their wife?  

Hugs!
Tygrlily

?Her husband should have cleared the call lists on his phone!  If he called you, you number stays there until he clears his outgoing calls list.

BTW, I am very sorry for your loss.

Maybe you should tell your guys to call from the lobby phone since they are already at the hotel.  If they use their cell phone to make initial contact, there is nothing you can do about that.

If you start calling guys to warn them, you are just going to make someone paranoid who doesn't need to be.  Wifey has probably already confronted hubby by now anyway.

I am also sorry for your loss.

This is NOT your responsibility. If the gent called from his phone that is on him. He should been the one to deal with it, not you.

It probably was very uncomfortable for this to happen to you. Like you said, change your #. I don't know what else you can do.

Shaye

Two good points...clear the call list on the phone & get to the cell phone bill first so it can disappear if need be. Another thought...get a "private" phone & have the bill sent to your office. A bit more costly but it could be a lot cheaper in the long run.  Sorry to hear about your loss.

A good way around this is to buy a Virgin Mobile cell phone.  It is a "pay as you go" phone so there are no bills.  You either go to Target or Wal-Mart and buy a top up card, use your credit card to add minutes or go online to top it up.  There is no trail of numbers called if you delete them, and no bills sent out at all.  It's a good one to have for the hobby.

This isn't just for me, but rather for the providers seeking to preserve their identity. My own bill is paid by my office staff, and I never look at it. I've only booked with independents, but I'm curious now whether the bills might disclose their identity -  something neither I nor they might have contemplated previously.

The "pay as you go" phone sounds like a great idea, and I have one that I'm not using, but since my hobbying activities are infrequent, it seems an expensive extra security layer - UNITL the first time it serves its purpose

By the way, other cell phone "providers" (the telcos, who qualify more for for the denigrating synonym than do many of the lovely ladies here) also offer pay as you go phones - ATT Wireless and Cingular for a couple of examples

Just another peg in the "disclosure" board...

I'm sure you'll now recognize her incoming phone number

so tell her that the number "is fairly new and I'm in the process of changing the number again because of all the wrong numbers,people are callin me at all hours asking for A T&T customer service(or whatever local phone company that's in your area)...so please don't call this number again...Thank you"....click!

that should do the trick...

Regards,

VR

RegularGal, that's exactly what I use - and for exactly that reason. (The name has absolutely nothing to do with it - really! But Branson does run a good airline.) Top-up cards are also available at Virgin record stores, though I use the credit card route for recharging.

I do tend to keep numbers in the phone rather than deleting, for convenience, but I also practice safe phoning - when it's not on my person, it's always locked with passcode required before you can access anything on it.

I use that I am a jewelery consultant and it is possible he has  commissioned a piece for you!  That usually catches them off guard! You would not believe how fast thier tone changes after that one!  Then, you better hope hubby comes up with a piece of jewelery. (I do my best to reach the friend in question to warn him)

Bottom line to this is...It will end up costing you more than just a hr with me if you are not discreet!

I value my discression as much as you value yours.  I will continiue to be discreet but it has to work both ways.  

I do like the idea of the pre-paid cell as I do not take calls from pay-phones!

-- Modified on 8/25/2003 8:08:46 AM

Tygrlily,

This is his making not yours.  One of the rules in this hobby is being discreet.  He obviously did not take the proper measures to cover up his footprints.  That is his problem, not yours.

I understand the problem with changing your number, then having to make the updates on all the various sites that you advertise on and hope the gents find their way back to you.  You may want to consider having one cell phone for the business and one for the family.  That way, the family will always have the same number and won't be a problem is you change the business number.

Ken

-- Modified on 8/25/2003 7:59:20 AM

I have Verizon Free-Up.  It's a little more pricey long term, but there is no history on it to deal with.  Any attached man in the hobby should consider a phone like this to use only for that purpose.  It's around 100 to set up and includes the phone.  Minutes are around .33, and always carry over.

1)  Yes.   I ran an ad to sell an emerald ring and I got a lot of calls from men - mostly who didn't know that rings came in sizes ... a lot of follow up calls.

2)  I just got this phone ... and someone who had this number before ran an auto repair shop.

3)  I work for a doctor that does penis enlargements and this is the private number for information.

4)  I run a couples only Fantasy Getaway service and this is the surpise line.

--or--

5)  I counsel men with fridged wives.
6)  I'm a marriage counselor.
7)  I do quikie Reno divorces.

The list is endless......

I don't know that much about blocked numbers but if he did have the number to call you on, (otherwise, how could he call you) then if it's long distance for example for him to call you, it would be on his phone bill I think. Plus I know wives check cell phone numbers sometimes to see who is being called. She may have just checked his cell phone when he wasn't around.

Excellent advice!

I know cell phones are all the rage right now, and that they're here to stay. But that doesn't mean you have to use one for a sensitive call.

Get one of those disposable phone cards from your local 7-11, grocery store, gas station or whatever. They come in denominations as low as 5.00. Then call your girl from a land-based phone, even a pay phone if necessary. The call was paid for when you bought the card, so there's no bill and no trail. I suppose the FBI could trace one if they thought you were a terrorist. But your wife won't be able to. Pay cash for the card, by the way.

Another thing people don't realize about cell phones is that the airwaves are far from private.

Cell phone bills work both ways....ex-wife thought it would be smart to call her boyfriend on her cell phone...I was the bill payer in the house...did a anywho.com reverse look up.
And yes, it's still my house, my car, my kids...

I'll just have to say she has the wrong number.

The number she called from was a local Los Angeles pay phone because it didn't have an area code so all you out of town guys are off the hook.

Definitely not your fault.  Unfortunately, it does become somewhat your problem anyway.  You're the one getting the phone calls from the wife.  The only reason you should care about the guy at all is if he's one of your regulars and you like him.  But of course you don't know who it is.

Have you tried running the phone # through a reverse directory?  Maybe it wasn't a pay phone but a home phone.

SuperBowlKen's suggestion of separate business and personal phones (in addition to your advertised phone, which I suppose is just voice mail) is a really good one.  Will really simplify your life if something like this ever happens again.

Use 2 cell phones, one for personal and one for business. If someone calls don't ID yourself especially when it's a woman.

Detailed blling on cell phones will show every call made so yes the wife or SO can find out who hubby has been calling.  And with you touring your # is long distance and will show up on the home phone bills.

It isn't your problem to find out who it was, but you and all ladies can help those men not dig their grave by always refusing to give out info to a caller, but if a wife did a google search and a ladie's number is on her site it can and does show up along with the website link, unlisted or not.