A couple of months ago I saw a well-reviewed provider after corresponding with her for months. I'd made somewhat specific requests as to wardrobe, hair and makeup. When I arrived, she was running late, and hadn't had time to do her hair or do much more than basic makeup, and hadn't had time to gather wardrobe. There was also something else with the session that was an annoyance.

We had a good time, though, and she's very talented. Fun to be with, too. I've given some thought to seeing her sometime in the future, but can't decide if that would be a good idea. If I did, I'd  say that I want her to specifically wear X, Y and Z,  wear her hair and makeup as she shows on her site, and that I don't want the annoyance again.

Have you had something like this happen? Would you go back? Given the circumstances above, would you go back

other things can be corrected. If you are really digging her, explain her what she lacked in the session and how you have better expectations from someone you are paying to perform.  If you don't voice your concerns, she may not realize that anything was amiss or might take things she screwed up too lightly.  

I don't know what "annoyance" you are talking about, and whether it can be a deal breaker or not depends on what it is/was. So can't comment on unknown.

I have actually gone back to couple of girls at discounted rates, and gotten good sessions out of an initial rocky start...

The let down was based on lack of communication. I look like a one and done Guy but most times if it is one it is more. So I plan on returning just to see if she is all that.  Don't think I will be disappointed. Don't look, there is no review.

... the annoyances were different and there were several. However I was able to look past them and have a good time.... after a brief greeting she went back to eating her bagel, the bathroom was strewn with used towels, when I emerged and was ready for action she was chewing gum, when I wanted to sit in an easy chair for a bj I had to ask her to remove all her personal shit. And finally as we approached the end she reminded me of the time which I am always very well aware of. I must be one of the few who actually prefer a clock in plain view so I can pace myself accordingly.  

Afterwards I wrote her and tactfully but clearly stated the problems. I told her it was bad marketing and lack of professionalism and that while I was willing to give her a second chance many others would not. She was pretty new and appreciated the advice. At least she said she did. Never did see her again as she doesn't come to NY very often.

If she claims she was having an "off day" and promised to do better, then maybe. If OTOH she has the attitude of "what was wrong with my performance" then I wouldn't even consider giving her a second chance as she has no motivation to do better.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results

Correct me if I'm wrong, but when you hobby, don't you block out a weekend, travel to another state, pay for a hotel along with 3-4 hours with the lady? That's a big commitment for being on the fence. If you could just drop by her incall for an hour or two, then yes you should give her another chance as you're not losing much if it doesn't pan out. In my experience, the second visit is always better.

This was a different provider. A 1 1/2 hour drive, so it's "just" an afternoon.  

She gets 9 and 10's across the board in her reviews, so I'm thinking that this day was just bad for her. But she, like many providers, wasn't thinking in terms of customer service. When I get to an incall paying $450 an hour for a 9/9 or 10/10,  I expect to be wowed when the door opens. I don't expect to find a nice young woman in a bathrobe, just-washed hair and base makeup.

'annoyance' Springer? You mentioned it twice. I'm simply curious. And I'd say if you 'thought' about it, sure why not see her again, but remember, we aren't robots here.

Many moons ago a professor in business class i was taking made the statement that if you do not let a business know you are not satisfied with their service or product, they do not know you are not satisfied with the business arrangement.

for me it was a "Well-DUHH" moment. sorta like some girls I dated who would let me know something was wrong--I shuda known!! Even though mind reading isn't anything I’ve ever claimed I can do.

when I managed a retail profit center for a multinational company I was always aware that someone who took the time to let me know they thought we could do a lot better, especially if they were calm, not accusatory, was giving valuable information to me.  How many times did someone simply resolve to NEVER return again?  When I finally realized extremely ANGRY!!@ people were not angry at me, growing up being around an ANGRY adult was DANGEROUS, I could just listen and try and figure out if there was any way to solve the problem.  some times I had to simply state i understood how they felt, but my employer had a policy against doing what they demanded. so, if I did it, i would have to explain why i didn't follow their rules--did I knowingly choose to ignore their rules.  sometimes people understood while I may have wanted to help, I wouldn't risk my employment.

As to what I would do, I'm not focused on what is important to you because it isn't for me.

Consider a frank discussion with what makes a good relationship for you—if there are critical things make sure your partner knows they are key issues for you. If they are not comfortable with your expectations they have an opportunity to let you know ahead of time.  Consider agreeing upon contacting each other to verify you are both on track, and what will happen if not?

To bring it back to a business relationship, sometimes the best ones are when both parties are well informed and clearly understand their responsibilities and have a game plan for contingencies.

Recently I sent a small item that I wasn't using to a woman I had met and included a note explaining my disappointment and asked her to contact me to chat about it, and summed it up by stating if I didn't hear from her, I'd assume she was satisfied with how things went—never heard from her.

I don't know if she was satisfied with our meeting, didn't care, or if she didn't feel comfortable talking about it? Either way, it wouldn't lead to another meeting.

Another wise old man once remarked that if your day isn't going as planned, turn it into an adventure.  My meeting with the mentioned woman was an adventure. Sometimes I wind up in adventures; sometimes days go as I had envisioned.  

Happy Hunting

Deprived and docile at times

First red flag, "months of emailing" to set up a first date????
You for real bro? You probably owe her at least another hours fee.  
Months?…MONTHS????

Then you have very specific hair and wardrobe requests…

OK.  

Did she have to supply your kinky number of choice?
Buying and bringing what you want to see a lady in ensures you get to see her in it.
Especially if she's traveling. You know how many outfit requests we get? Now I gotta be a bag lady in the airport cause tom likes snow white and dick likes school girls and harry wants sally?  
No booboo. You could have used those months of emailing to get her size and do your part to ensure YOUR fantasy.

If her pics you wanted her hair duplicated in was a photo shoot then you've just asked her to be photo shoot fresh…for your 1.5 hour appointment. Maybe it was a hairdresser made her pretty?
Maybe the client before you was super insistent on getting HIS 450 worth and wanted to shower together  

I'm not going to EVEN get on the fact you also had a makeup request… I just can't this morning lawd.
It's possible she ignored your requests because you already annoyed the living shit out of her for MONTHS before she ever saw a dime, albeit not likely.

Some guys need a ton of attention and assurance to get them to the door, it's masked as conversation or staying in touch leading up to the appointment. It's time wasting/consuming and you've most likely turned the girl off before you've reached the door. I want to go into a session wondering about who you are and what your going to be like, if I've responded to thirty emails I'm likely going into the session with an idea and not a good one about someone who has already shown little respect for my time.  

My advice, book at least two hours and let her know that while you know she has a life you would really appreciate x,y, and z to make your session special AND SAY IT ALL IN ONE EMAIL near the actual date. Ask for up, down or pigtails…anything more specific is kinda suspect, and lastly buy the freakin outfit.

PS if the "other annoyance" was an odor don't go back son…never look back.


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I'm not going to mention it publicly because I'm sure the provider would recognize herself if she reads these forums. Check your PM's.

I'm kinda curious too

There was a girl who just cried for 20 minutes when I walked in.  She was honest that she's having a bad day and all.  Long story short,  I saw her several times since then and still keep in touch.  I guess her giving me several hours OTC time had something to do with it too.  

I like your style.!

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TS, I don't think she was replying to you....Probably the OP?

Um, no, I'm not annoying. To address your points, I'll have to be more specific.

The emailing took place over the course of months because of changes in both our schedules. We exchanged maybe six emails during that time. She's sent me far more emails than I sent her.

I was specific in wardrobe request to the extent that I mentioned things I like: lingerie, stockings, heels, lace, sexy dresses, etc. I mentioned that because her website shows her in western gear (worn cowboy boots, jeans, etc). I asked in an email if that was her usual bedroom attire, and she assured me that she had a variety of items such as what I'd mentioned.

If a lady doesn't have something I want, that's fine. I've often bought dresses (like the one in the link below)  and lingerie for ladies I've seen multiple times, just because I wanted to see them in those items. But what I requested was far from unusual. I would expect that any provider would have such things on hand.  

Also, she wasn't travelling to see me. I drove to another state to see her.

She makes a big deal about her hair on her website, so I was expecting it to look something like her photos. It was very different. .

I did not have a makeup request per se, but expected makeup.  

I booked two hours with the option for three. Despite the annoyance, I stayed for three. I wouldn't drive to another state for an hour or even 1.5 hours. I wouldn't even do an hour near home.  

Check your PM for more details. I think you've misread me, and now you have a following of folks equally off-base.


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I do likewise with my business. I actually appreciate a customer telling me if something is wrong, rather than not coming back. I had one customer I remember in particular who sent a really nasty email, saying he'd spread the word far and wide about the mistake I made. A minor mistake. I sent him an email apologizing, and asking what I could do to set things right for him. I was expecting him to ask for the sun and moon, so I was surprised when he asked for something very, very modest. I sent him something even better, and he replied that I now had a customer for life.

I emailed the provider later that day, and very politely mentioned the annoyance. The other things I let go, as I figured if I decided to see her again, I could just emphasize that I'd like to see her in stockings or whatever, and it would be great if she could curl her hair as it appears on her website. And, of course, not have the annoyance there

How much time did you give her to prepare?
It sounds like you've cancelled on her before.  Did you cancel using
email, or telephone?  How soon before your appointment did you
cancel

Cancel? I never cancelled. We agreed on our date two weeks prior.  

Where are people getting these ideas?

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Without knowing a single detail some of these keyboard warriors love to put all of the blame on the guy. They don't want to know the facts, their mind is already made up.

Don't worry, it's not a fact of not making yourself clear in your OP as to what actually happened. It would not have made a single bit of difference to the WK's, no matter what happened, it's YOUR fault and she is as pure as the driven snow.

You are so much nicer than me, I would have told the last White Knight to GO FUCK HIMSELF!!!

Would you like me to do that for you? I would be more than happy to do so. rofl

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Yeah, go ahead and tell him. I'm too nice a guy.

The forum seems to swing between putting blame on the providers to putting blame on the hobbyists. This is hobbyist week, I guess.

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Perhaps. But she followed up our meeting with three or four emails thanking me for the gift, the good time, and saying she wanted to meet again.  

Don't know. Never know with women.

Yuup; never know unless I know someone well and can sense their body language.

Let us know how it turns out for you and her.

Deprived

I just noticed that she's in TER's Top 100 nationally. It must be that I just caught her on a bad day.  

I think I'll try seeing her again, but be more specific about what I expect (no armadillos), even if that means buying lingerie for her.