Are easy to bed.

From jailbate to age 23, I was as easy as Sunday morning.

All you had to do was buy me a burger and put a few cocktails in me and I would put out.

I can understand that dating is hard.  It's hard for women too.  But getting laid by a civie is NOT that hard!  I promise you.  Young, hot, tipsy women who don't yet have standards are the easiest women in the world.

it is better to die a virgin and never ever have the opportunity to be close to a woman than to pay for it?

You don't realize how hard it is for an introvert, or people with social anxiety, low self confidence, etc, to actually meet someone. if you are not in their shoes, you don't know. If for some guys that is the only way they can be with a woman, so be it. I say that is better than never ever knowing what it is like.

It's not that a guy is taking the easy way out to lose his virginity. It's the he may have been turned down over and over and over and over for just a simple date. I have friends who have been turned down 20 times before they ever got a girl to say yes to a date... much less a romp in the hay. I have a friend who struggled for years to find a girlfriend. He was 28 and decided he didn't want to be a virgin anymore and hired a pro. Should he have waited? Maybe. But, I couldn't fault him for being 28 and having faced so much rejection that he just wanted to get it over with. He took a way out, but it was definitely not easy.

I guess there is a stigma, huh?

A lot of guys are not, and do not.

It's all about attitude with the young drunk ones. The thing is, by the time you spend money on that burger, cover charge to the club, $12 appletinis for the both of you til everyone is sloshed, all you have is a maybe. Save up that dough and get a sure thing.  That's why these ladies are in business, right?

Martha, you're assuming that all of us dudes are in to geting shitfaced and hanging out in the bar/club scene.  Maybe that just doesn't appeal to some of us.  

to lose your virginity is the end all be all, but I simply won't be a part of it. I also agree that it is easy as hell to fk a hot chick in today's world. I was a bigger slut than I ever am now that I am a hooker lol. I had bars on my windows at 14 and you are crazy to think all those boys were young, good looking, and had any kind of game lol. There are girls today offering up tag teams and anal, when I was 21 before ever doing that bs and I have still never done a full DP...never will. Saying because you can't get laid leads to seeing hookers, is like saying a depressed person has the right to use drugs to feel better. You won't die without getting laid! You WILL die if you don't eat and have plenty of water for weeks on end though. When we get to talking about what is really important in life, this does not even rate in the top 3.

-- Modified on 5/17/2012 3:33:48 PM

And Martha, just because you were easy, doesn't mean everyone else was/is.

Also, I don't advocate underaged dating but hang out in the parking lot of high schools.  They are the easiest girls out there.

(18 and over of course!)

As I told Martha, perhaps not every hot gal was as easy as you are.  Just because you were easy, doesn't mean every other hot woman is.  Let's not make generalizations  It's been my experience that the hottest civie women are the hardest to fuck, and many of my fellow dudes would agree with me.

All of my friends were easy too!

from the other ladies. While I completely respect their views, I completely disagree. I was just thinking about this topic the other day, as a matter of fact.

In many cultures, paying a lady to take your virginity is very common and expected. And I don't believe virginity is sacred either. I think mystifying virginity and sexuality in general is a bad idea, and leads to a lot of guilty, shame-bearing, messed up people unable to connect to their real inner selves. Especially women!

Paying someone to take your virginity, if you find the right woman, can really set you up for life as a man. She can teach you so many wonderful things about women's bodes. She can teach you many intricacies that most men won't learn in a lifetime. She can teach you marvelous things about your own body before you get all weirded out by things like anal play by civilian girls.

So it is not stigmatized in my mind. Not at all. I have dated enough men in my civilian world from other countries to know this is common and unremarkable. Go with a professional!!

If I want to learn to surf, I am going to a professional instructor, not some dude on the beach.

You go!! Have fun!! My recommendation: Get an older provider- someone who's been there and done that a bit. She will be able to teach you the most. There are plenty of "gorgeous" mature providers out there. There will be plenty of time to date the young hotties after you've learned a few tricks.

... as to why you think losing your virginity to an escort is any different than fucking anyone else. Maybe it's because I'm a guy and you're a woman, and I certainly can't speak for men in general, but losing my virginity meant nothing special to me. I was 15 and I fucked a girl in the backseat of her car at the beach. It wasn't some life-altering magical moment like some crappy John Hughes flick. Actually, if it had been with a provider in a really nice hotel room with candles and all that other romantic stuff it probably would have been alot more memorable. Yes, overall I prefer to be with a woman who has real feelings for me, but I don't believe a majority of guys hold their virginity in such high regard.

in the junior and senior classes were knocked up. Has nothing to do with being easy dude...even the most innocent ones of the bunch seem to be giving it up. Now, maybe not to some old guy 20 years her senior, but they were certainly serving it up at Homecoming. And, if you need a perfect 10 to get laid that could be your problem. If that's the case, then yes you need hookers. Does it make you a loser? No, but it makes you a bit unrealistic.

at the risk of differing yet again from my colleagues, that young, inexperienced ladies who are out for a good time- god love 'em- are probably far less safe healthcare-wise than a professional. If you go that route, be extra careful.

also don't. I didn't. I just wanted it gone so I could get on with being wild.

I would have been MUCH, MUCH better off with a professional!!

You are free to your beliefs babe, no need to apologize for them. I happen to know what happens when we get too liberal with our feelings and views on certain things, and it has never led to anything positive at ALL in my life. Others don't feel guilt or shame for anything they do, so they have no problems being "free."

Perhaps you are right about me being unrealistic, but I am who I am, and nothing can change that.  Your high school experience was your experience, but it wasn't mine...

Are you serious?? You'd advise this poor fellow to troll HS parking lots before hiring a professional??

I have all kinds of respect for you ladies here, but I am very surprised that you're all recommending young, drunk, and dumb as some fellow's first experience. There's something a bit hypocritical about that if you're so insistent that virginity is a sacred thing! Wouldn't you agree?

If a girl is stupid enough to spread her legs for free no matter what the circumstance, wtf do I care? She is the dumb, easy one just like I was at one point in time. As long as she is a "willing" participant, at least the boy knows she wants to be there.

"evolutionary cannon fodder". I think there is someone for everyone out there. The problem I see with professional women is that you may be used to paying for some really beautiful women and not notice some very average but willing and loving women out there.

Sarah, just to clarify, I lost my virginity a LONG time ago, and yes, it was to a provider.  I'm obviously not looking to lose my virginity now. I'm just bringing this up for a conversational topic.

But yes, you are right about Martha's advice. It borders on horrifying.

you try to bang is going to do it...nothing else about your posts is so unrealistic.

reality! If you think that because you can pay for a 10 that you can also get a dozen for free, you are kidding yourself. I mean yes it is certainly possible, but it has nothing to do with this business here and what is done in it. This is not about some poor dude who gets rejected..sounds more to me like a horny guy who just wants to fk hot women by any means possible. There are good women of all shapes, ages, and sizes, but you get used to fkin porn stars and supermodels and suddenly a regular 8 is only a 2...whose fault is that?

I think the difference between "most" men and women is that we don't go this route all too often. I too would love to marry a hot, successful guy again, but I also know that going out and thinking I can pay for his affection is not real. I don't get off on just sex from someone I paid, but my makeup is a bit different lol. You can't by "true" feelings, but yes you can buy sex...I am not in need of the latter.

-- Modified on 5/17/2012 4:00:19 PM

And so how was it? Are you glad you did?

In some jurisdictions, "a few cocktails" would be called "diminished mental capacity," a state in which a person can no longer legally consent to sex, even if they are 23 years old. You are, in effect, advocating statutory rape.

This is very true. It is one thing to want to hire someone for a special time, quite another to imagine that you'd like to spend the rest of your life with someone like that. Sort of like when women get used to only having orgasms via power tools.

The first time wasn't the best, and that's for several reasons.  But ever since then, it's been wonderful!

I think girls and guys have a very different point of view about losing their virginity.

Most girls think like London ,  they see it as "sacred" associated with deep feelings for "the loved one", almost a religious thing...

For most guys it's a simple rite of passage to manhood and to feel how it is to stick their dick in a pussy for the first time...nothing more...

Don't know who's wrong or right, blame porn or the church...

I can't even count the number of providers I know personally who drink on their dates...have yet to see the review end with, "And I just couldn't fk her." Being drunk is one thing, but drinking as an adult is legally allowed to do is another.

I simply don't see how it would not mess up expectations. I mean if all I got to fk were Brad Pitt and Jason Statham every day, I think Tom Cruise would even be average to me. The difference is, you get to know a person on a deeper level without the sex first in real life, so for many that is all it takes for a 3 to become an 8. You should see a few of my exes ha ha.

it would have been with someone I loved. Would I have paid for it? Hell no, but wish it was more special. For that matter, I wish my first two husbands were more special lmao.

had i not already lost my virginity, i wouldn't have a problem getting laid by a provider. Hell, you would think the way guys think, getting a piece of ass for the first time, would be something they welcomed!! ( even if it's paid for ) Remember, we think with our dicks!!! No emotional harm here!!

The word "few" is vague and leads to confusion. I'm well aware of the difference between responsible drinking and being drunk.

for an older male relative to take the young gentleman to a lady of known skills to get his carnal education.  
I happened to lose mine at a tender age, however I would feel no shame had I chosen to break the dry spell which followed with a professional lady.  I feel that some can indeed educate a gentleman, give him confidence & skills so that when he has an opportunity he will have a level playng field with his peers...  maybe even an advantage.
I recall a first date during my senior year of HS, having broken up with my former GF.  Without anything being said, she sensed that I was considerably more experienced than she.   After HS, more experienced men were suddenly more desireable partners...  
I do not consider my "losing my virginity" to have been a special gift.  I remember it more as the fumblings of 2 teens.   But amongst the college crowd, lack of skills was more of a disadvantage & women & girls expected a guy to be at least competant.

Dear Ms. Rayne:
I was wondering what was the socialization and set of mores that gave you certain parameters that you would not exceed? I also was wondering do you usually require a certain psychological and intellectual development that is usually correlated with age and that is why you would knowingly see someone so young or someone who falls into the age bracket you mentioned? Would you also be somewhat afraid of giving a person a complex at that age and not letting them fully develop themselves socially by engaging in the hobby at such an early age?

I wonder too. And those who did- I wonder if they bothered to teach you anything?

Yes, we mystify sexuality way too much. It can be mystical, but doesn't have to be- completely personal choice. And I for one believe it should be an informed personal choice- not brainwashed into us as children.

Sex is he whole reason we exist. It is the most primal urge and basic reason for doing most of what we do. Whoever decided that we had to stem our passions was truly brilliant. No better method of social control.

In our society, albeit is changing, losing virginity for a woman is far different than for a man.  Women are raised to "be a good girl" and to save it for their true love.  For men, there is far less emphasis on love.  For women it is a point in their life when everything changes.  For the man, it is a milestone.  The nearest thing for men, to a woman losing her virginity, is their first tit in hand, and even that, wonderful as it was, pales in comparison.

as I spent an entire adolescence thinking it was so.

How much that fact might have warped me and in what direction is hard to say, but I think mankind would be improved if that yoke of oppression could be lifted somehow.

I don't have the answer, but I thank you for pointing out the direction to look in.

Yours is the most thoughtful insight yet.

By the way, I lost my hand and mouth virginity to a pro, but the intercourse to a civie, so I guess I fall somewhere in between.  I was 22 when all three events occurred.

I wonder how many men do lose their virginity to pros versus civies?

A poll might be instructive.

Drinking and being drunk are two different things... I have had a glass of wine with several ladies which is a tad different from the first non brothel hooker I saw that needed to get drunk to do her job.. she passed out, I didn't fuck her nor did I write a review (didn't even know such existed).. it was quite some time before I found review sites and put my toe back in the water (or if you prefer, dick back in the ....) of p4p...

unless the girl is falling down and slurring her speech, I doubt any of you guys bring a breath test machine, so it is no different than fking a civie girl who is drinking or paying to fk a provider who is drinking. For my body weight, I have been legally drunk many times but you would never know it. So, you're saying those guys raped me? LOL...ok, but I took the money so there ya go.

and that is only one of them. I would never do two brothers, a father and son, would never turn someone out so to speak, and this one. I know it's a shock that some hookers don't just say YES to any situation concerning sex these days, but what did you expect from me ha ha. I have a charity page full of churches I support financially every week too. Just because ONE part of my life does not line up with what I believe, does not mean I have to toss it all in the toilet. If you smoke pot, does that mean you may as well hit the crack pipe too? I think not. If you see hookers does that mean you would encourage your own daughter to join the biz? Again, I think not. I also don't curse in front of my child or my parents, and don't dress like a stripper...ever.

-- Modified on 5/18/2012 4:28:19 AM

I noticed that many take this view, which is actually just a belief constructed by society. The whole "being a virgin" when you got married/for the "love of your life" actually has it's roots in the fact that decades ago, birth control was not common, & so when a couple was married, the wife being a virgin was a necessity, in order for the man to ensure that the child she was carrying was his & not some other man's child. In this day & age, with a woman being able to control when she gets pregnant(for the most part) sexuality has taken a different tune.

I personally was brought up with the belief that you did not have sex until you were married... well, at 16, hormones raging & thinking I was in love(1st boyfriend) I lost my virginity. Four months later, caught him cheating & was sooo confused (now what? I'm no longer "sacred"). By my 3rd boyfriend, I had completely gotten over the stigmatization & realized that men do it all the time. Do I regret my decisions I made at 16? Nope, not a bit. Because that decision made me who I am today & made me realize that sex is just sex... is does NOT equate love, unless both parties are in a committed relationship with equal feelings.. THEN it is "special" and means something... otherwise, it's JUST sex.

I do not think anyone should be stigmatized for their decisions about their bodies. As others have pointed out, a man loosing his virginity is not the same as a woman(although that completely depends on the woman). Someone else also pointed out the fact that fathers, with the knowledge that their 16 year old was still a virgin, would commonly take him to see a provider to loose his virginity with.... although this is not as widely practiced now-a-days.

The key phrase that would make it statutory rape is: "diminished mental capacity." Do you feel you were in a state where you were so far under the influence of alcohol that you were no longer in a position to make decisions for yourself? From what you said: "I have been legally drunk many times but you would never know it" -- it doesn't sound like that would qualify and you were still functioning just fine, but I'm not a legal expert, I just talk to them sometimes.

A, I could not tell because of you behavior, or other factors.

B. I could not smell it.

But if I in any way could tell, I would walk. I have done so in the past. If I think a woman civie or pro, is in anyway has her judgement impaired by any substance, I will not touch her sexually. This includes my wife. It may not be rape, but it is far to close for me. Now if the amount consumed was not enough to have a major affect on her judgement, we are good to go as that is something different. But that will not help a guy get laid as she will still say no if that is what she would do normally.

i have deflowered 2 that i know of. and i am proud of them. and one of them was damn good. they last longer than any of my other clients too.

Most providers ask their clients if they are virgins.... so they'd have no way of knowing anyhow.  I would imagine there's a few out there that might prompt the guy if he appears really young and nervous, but I don't think the majority would even ask.  Especially considering if they are already in the room with him by the time they suspect this, then they are on the verge of getting their donation anyhow, and would not be inclined to waste all of their time leaving when the guy really hasn't done anything wrong.

As to whether it is "correct"  Quite frankly I think this is another question of personal freedom and the right to make a decision, and people shouldn't be meddling in other people's business.  In Afghanistan prior to 2001, a man could be arrested if his beard was not long enough.  That's a case of the government trying to control others.  With people who take the moral high ground and criticize a virgin who sees a provider, this is just another case of an attempt to control when no harm has been caused... except "possibly" to the virgin, depending on your perspective.  However, just as with everything else, the virgin willfully made the choice, whether it caused him harm or pleasure.  If someone chooses to screw themselves up and no one else gets hurt in the process, then that's their business as far as I'm concerned.  However, I see no possible way that a virgin will experience harm by seeing a provider.  Obviously everyone does not feel this way though.