This is excerpted from a Valentine's Day column by Chris Erskine of the LA Times:

Q- What do men really want?
A-  Women.

Q-  What do women really want?
A-  Women want a companion, a soul mate, a shoulder to lean on.  They want romance and surprise.  Walks on the beach.  Moonlight.  Diamonds.  SUV's.  A pretty good line of credit.

Q-  What else do women want?
A-  Women want little, random acts of kindness.  And big sweeping, romantic gestures that make their girlfriends envious.  They want Paris in the spring and New York in autumn.  Christmas in the Alps and Tuscanny in mid-June.  Women want a guy with a granite chin, but who is sensitive, you know, and kind of athletic.  A guy who's spontaneous but reliable.  Simple, yet enigmatic.  Tall but short.  Women want Arthur Miller, Joe DiMaggio and that Brad Pittsburgh guy all rolled into one.  That's all women want.

Q-  Are they, like, nuts?
A-  Many of them, yes.

(OK, me talking again)
Well, if not nuts, at least significantly more complex.  

It's been said (by someone other than me) that "Men desire women, while women desire to be desired by men."  I think there's a lot of truth to that, too.  Because it's only through the power that being desired gives women, that they can achieve their much more complex list of things they want, to which the above column jokingly alludes.

This brings us full circle to the difference of opinion generated by Sweetlatina's seemingly simple question asked further down the board about what to get a guy for Valentine's Day- and Dman's subsequently dismissed response which can be paraphrased as "good sex."  Ladies, there's only one thing on your boyfriend's list for Valentine's Day, or any other day of the year- YOU.  

TER exists because that short list of one item somehow keeps getting misread by the wives and girlfriends of the world.   Ladies, your man only wants your smile and enthusiastic response and acceptance when he makes love to you- that's all men want.  That's what bonds a man to his woman.  It may not seem like much by your standards, but it will make him your loyal and loving parnter, and the happiest guy in the world on Valentine's Day.

OK, Cupid's gotta run, the Cupidmobile is double-parked in front of the La Perla store.  Happy Valentine's Day to all!



-- Modified on 2/14/2002 1:12:48 PM

There's actually TWO things most men want:

1) Good Sex
2) Don't try to re-invent me - accept, even WANT ME as I am, and give me good sex.

I too mentioned acceptance- a smile, enthusiastic response, and acceptance.  Accept us as we (men) are, or spend your life in a futile attempt to change us, making us both miserable in the process.  How many relationships have ended over that one?  The "mothering instinct" is one of the strongest forces in nature, and we certainly have it to thank for our survival.  You just have to know how to direct it and when to turn it off.  Afterall, men are people, not projects.

I continue to conclude that the keys to relationship success are simple and include (but not limited to) mutual respect, acceptance of your partner and his/her uniqueness, the willingness to live and let live without stifling the other person's individuality or keeping them from the things or activities that bring them pleasure etc.

-- Modified on 2/14/2002 1:36:06 PM

-- Modified on 2/14/2002 2:05:39 PM

-- Modified on 2/14/2002 2:18:59 PM

if it is quite that simple. I think that the oldest profession exists because most men really have no idea what they want (or need)from women. Why do I love my wife and still lust uncontrollably after other women? Yeah, I know, biological blah, blah, blah. Wish it wasn't so but I definitely belong to the confused majority.

A friend used to tell me that most men need 3 women in their (adult) lives: a mother, a lover and a friend. Most wives overdo the mother part and don't do enough as the lover which leads many of us to seek elsewhere for this. The ironic thing is that no matter how good our mate may be as a lover, we will still always look at someone else. We may not pursue but we will look and likely fantasize.

simply. You are a slime, a despicable human being known as a "male".  I, on the other hand, am pure in my lust for other women (great Valentine's Day, wife exhausted and asleep after "dessert"), and thus deserve the understanding and praise of all (yo boss, piling it on a little thick aren't we?). Umm, just a little. Happy Valentine's Day all....especially Mongoose.