As long as I am alive I will want sex.
The question of provider burnout is addressed below. Fairness and balance require we examine the other side.
From a personal perspective, I notice some signs of my own burnout that is in full swing now.
1. The anticipation factor is greatly diminished. Then: would spend days having random hard ons thinking of an upcoming appt. Now: think about the appt. just in time to arrive on time.
2. Diminished sexual creativity. Then: often surprised her and myself with unforgetable stunts that would make us both blow. Now: can't remember what happened half hour afterwards.
Are there other signs of hobbyist burnout? Providers: what makes you think a guy may be burnt out? Guys: Have you ever been burnt out and what happened if so? What is the cure for burn out for guys?
I "retired" from the hobby last fall for that very reason... I'd say the #1 indicator of "burnout" is losing intrest while your cock is in a provider's mouth...
(Cut&paste of my other post on this)
For the most part "celibacy"...
Posted by Ben Dover , 12/6/2008 7:17:03 PM [Ben Dover has 9 reviews]
Since "retiring", I have fucked an occasional c/l prostitute, and a few livelinks amateur-whores and even a retarded girl that works at walmart (I shit you not! LOL!)
But to be honest, I wore myself out sexually, it took weirder and weirded things to keep me hard and get my rocks off, so walking away from the hobby wasn't really difficult... You just haven't been at it as long as I was, or with the same obsessive-compulsiveness I had, so you haven't experienced "hitting the wall" that will eventually come... (You'll know you're there when you've got a session set up with an ATF offering you a free all-nighter and you feel "inconvenienced" because you have to go over to her place, so you just blow her off and don't answer your phone when she calls..) My sexual-gluttony finally caught up with me...
Maybe I'll just have my cock and balls bronzed and hung over the fireplace....
you won't burn out.
Everyone gets bored of playing with their toys now and again.
I continue to see my ATFs for the most part. I really like them as people and would like to believe we're actually friends. I make appts. with them because I want to spend time with a friend primarily. It's not so much about the sex for me now. However, I find myself still having sex with ATFs for a few reasons:
1) I feel obligated because I've paid for an appt.
2) I make an appt. because I don't think they want to just hang out off the clock although they are very very generous with time (typically, I pay for an hour and get 2-4-5 or overnight on occasion).
3) I have to make appts. for specific timeframes because I have to plan ahead. The wife would freak if I said on the spur of the moment, "oh honey, I'm going to hang out with my ATF for awhile. I'll be home soon."
Point is....although I see providers as people and care for my ATFs more than I could ever let them know, I feel sort of disgusted at times scheduling appts. (and hour to f***) in the usual manner as if they were some ho, or whatever, that I may never see again.
-- Modified on 12/20/2008 8:42:40 AM
on the boards. Your ATFs won't appreciate it. They don't want someone to check your reviews and expect extra time - or for any of their existing clients to be annoyed or jealous because they think you are getting something that they arent. I'd of PMd you but as its an alias......
My ATFs don't know it's me. And, you don't know which ATFs I'm speaking of.
I'm starting to suspect RobbinYoung might be a tad bit correct about you.
Have you been drinking?
-- Modified on 12/20/2008 9:06:45 AM
You seem to be exceedingly hypersensitive to the expressions of others and are lashing out.
-- Modified on 12/20/2008 9:55:37 AM
it's kind of hard to check his reviews to find out who his ATFs are when he us is posting with an alias.
I give alias posters a hard time, but this is one example of a proper time to use one.
it's unwise to write anything here that may prove to be a problem for the ladies you frequent. This time he wrote under an alias - next time the same comment may slip out..... that's why I said "rethink" instead of saying he should edit his post.
You know what you meant and so do we. Don't play the smantics game with us. You weren't paying attention and had a brain fart. It happens to the best of us, just admit it and move on.
It's not worth making a major issue out of it, but I don't buy it. I doubt anyone else will either.
I can't imagine reaching a point when the prospects of spending some imtimate time with a desirable woman wouldn't appeal to me, and not just for the sex. They're all unique individuals, and that's what makes it interesting. If I ever burn out, it means I've given up on all women and I might as well join a monastery.
Symptoms of strip-club burn-out:
1) When you are going home afterward, asking yourself why do you keep doing this?
2) Frequency diminishes, as does the anticipation and enthusiasm.
3) When a guy at a hotel is entertaining a provider across the hall from you, you finally decide to Google "escorts". This leads you to find TER, and after a few hours of reading, you kick yourself, and ask "Why didn't I do this five years ago"? Three weeks later, you officially become a hobbyist...
I dunno, but there are enough adventures left in this world that I am nowhere near burn-out. I have seen other hobbyists get to that point, and what usually gets them there is going overboard and doing too many things too fast. I do not have the financial means for unlimited hobbying, so I think I have several years left before burn-out becomes a risk...
I saw forty different ladies over one ten day stretch a couple of years ago. I thought I was burned out aftewards, but a couple of days later I was booking another appointment.
Here it is a couple of years later and I can't even think about having that much sex again. I guess it's all relative. I do find that sex has little mystery left for me, but I still find it very, very enjoyable. I do know that as I get older my standards have risen instead of the opposite. When I was twenty I'd fuck anything, anytime, anywhere. Now that I am fiftyish, I no longer have any desire to sleep with women that aren't either physically beautiful or bring something else to the table. IOW just finding a hole is no longer enough.
-- Modified on 12/20/2008 8:23:33 AM
I have changed my approach but I have never totally stopped hobbying or felt like I wanted to. My thoughts are that if you are not happy you should not be spending the money. Ask yourself exactly why you are feeling this way. Are you bored with the ladies that you are seeing? Are you spending money that you shouldn't be spending right now? Are you looking for a commitment that you should not be expecting from P4P dates?
There are lot of issues that can play in to hobbying both emotional and financial. The first step is to be honest with yourself about what your expectations are. I used to see a girl or two a week, never the same lady twice. It was fun for a while but I realized as I found a few favs that I really enjoyed the connection that you have with a regular lady beyond just the sex. For me at least, the connection, the intimacy, actually makes the sex better!
That, to me, means I'm done.
One sign of burnout is when you see a provider 9-10 times and you wonder why you spent more on her than you did dating and engagement ring for the wife.
Another sign is you are having buyers remorse wondering why you spent 4+ digits on the hobby this year.
You see so many providers per month that you can't remember their names and what happened in the sessions.
You are in competition to get a review posted on a new provider/visiting provider before some else gets it posted.
You find yourself on provider sites all the time, seeing a provider, research/reading reviews, and/or talking to providers during all your free time.
When you go to sleep at night, the first thing you think about is a hot session with a provider, you become obsessed reflecting in the past.
You give up personal time for you development (working out) to see a provider.
-- Modified on 12/20/2008 1:04:53 PM
Certain medications, specifially those to reduce the prostate size (Flomax) can result in reduced semen. That's enough to result in some male "burn out." Orgasms still occur, but they're relatively "dry." The ropes of our youth are now rare and far between. For those of us who are givers, that's enough to back off.
As long as I am alive I will want sex.
I believe there must be a differentiation made between "burnout" and "desensitization". Will readily acknowledge signs/symptoms of "hobbyist burnout" noted.
What I am currently experiencing is "desensitation". Meaning, I've gone thru the same routine with the same lineup of providers so many times with so-so results, there's no motivation to see them further. Of course this is related to my home range - overrun with CL or BP trailer-trash - and the limited array of outstanding providers. And those outstanding providers available are so hard to book with, or have such an attitude it hardly makes it worth the effort. Those guys who live in major metropolitan areas don't know how guud they have it!
So, I live to see travelers - or travel myself. That is now the only thing that gets my juices flowing. The continued search for the holy grail of hobbying is the only desire that keeps me in the fold.
My 0.02 FWIW.
DC
-- Modified on 12/21/2008 12:32:02 PM