I enjoy fingering while kissing the lady du jour....

starting with a little very light clit play and then, if responsive, gentle insertion of my index finger.

My area between the palm and the base of my index finger massages the clit "up and down", paying attention to her cues as to whether lighter or harder is desired, while the index finger, slightly crooked, runs all the way in and out.

If this does not do very much for her, I'll move down to daty and ask if she prefers a finger or two with, or not...

If she is responding enthusiastically and does not feel tight, I add a second finger. Usually by now she is arching her back and lifting her bottom to my hand. And is very wet.

At this point I am adding a little rotation of the hand and or twisting of the fingers.

if she shows interest, positions may be altered to allow a finger to slip into her butthole....

I absolutely adore it when a lady orgasms on my hand - the feeling of her spasms on my finger, squeezing, trying to push me out, while her belly tenses and her bottom clenches.

Especially if she continues to kiss me and look deep into my eyes....

and the snot has cleared from your head, yes?

Years ago, while "hobbying"in baltimore,a lady introduced me to a technique she called" the baltimore clutch" - She instructed me to use both hands together in a praying position inserting both index fingers in her pussy, the two middle fingers on each hand rested neatly against her "taint' while both pinkies slid into her asshole. This position allows you to use the thumbs as a chin rest and complete access to licking the clit. She said the technique had been used on her by a young steel millworker, and she was completely hooked on the erotic feeling it produced.Since then, i've used it many times to drive providers wild.They all seem to love it.

While we're on the subject, how do most of you signal (non-verbally) that you'd like a little stimulation of the backside?  I've been in positions a few times where doing DATY, and the butt has come up and leaned over to one side.  Thinking to myself "is this the signal"?  Don't want to just go for it, as it would be a real mood killer if I got the "oh no, don't do that" thing.  But do want to pick up on the cues if it is desired and something she wants.  But as I know some (most) women aren't into that for their own pleasure, I'm hesitant to "go there" without clear desire on her part.

Although, with my ex, she was pretty tame in bed.  I was too, and had never tried it before on someone else, though did have it done to me during a bj a couple times, and oh hell, that was nice.  Before I tried it on a woman the first time, I had heard some women really got off on it.  I was thinking "no way".  I'd never been with a woman who enjoyed anal (and that's never been my thing either), so why in the heck would they want a finger up there if they damn sure don't want a dick there?  But figured I'd give it a shot!  So, I waited until she was close, started to massage it, and finally  slipped a finger in.  At first it was a quick squirm, but was followed by "Oh my gawd", and she came hard as hell.  After that, she had no qualms with grabbing my hand, planting it on her ass when she was in the mood for it.  But the first time was a bit nerve racking!

Fingering the ass not a big turn on for me unless it's a turn on for her, then oh yeah, I'm all for it!  I just want to know it's wanted and not just "being allowed because she thinks that's what I want".

being fingered (by a man only, ahem!) is something i can enjoy immensely, but it must be the right person, the right mood, etc. it is absolutely not something i would willingly engage in with just anyone.

impeccable hygiene is a must...uberclean hands and fingernails (it amazes me how many otherwise well put together men totally neglect to clean their fingernails, yucky!), and fingernails short and neat, no pointy bits or hangnails.

then there is the relationship i have with a particular man...personally i find fingering to be a more intimate sexual act than many other things, so i would only wish for it to happen with a man with whom i had that special mental connection and chemistry.

third...and this is of the utmost importance...it must happen when things are already very very intense, when my body is very aroused and relaxed. it is not something to be done as a "warm-up," it should be more like adding another log to an already raging fire. it can happen during passionate kissing, or while just lying together and looking into each other's eyes. i hate DATY, so obviously would not want it to happen then. but it absolutely should happen pre-intercourse, at that moment when his lust is very very high and demanding.

as for technique? gentle caresses to the outer lips, one finger, maybe two at the most directly INSIDE, varying the pace as the mood dictates. none of that messing with my clit stuff as i find that painful and not very erotic.

but hey, that's just me.