Great story! It may be nuance, but most of the really good providers don't ask for money up front. You're right though, thinking with the small brain can lead you to one SNAFU or another, but I bet you laugh about it now and then.

I Remember one of my first appointments....

I was 2 weeks into doing this...had a Guy that wanted me to come to his house in Chicago...no problem...did All the checks...set a date...I arrived to the neighborhood and looked up at the house...and I thought...I should keep on driving...but I didn't...I went up to the house...knocked at the door...and OMG...let's just say he made no effort to clean up for me...I step into the house and it is Gross and smells...I'm trying to think...how do I get out of this...he offers me a drink...and I told him water was fine...there was something floating in my cup...lol...so off to the bedroom we go...no sheets...the bedroom is so small it only fits a double bed...I'm telling myself...I can Not believe I am going to go through with this...so I tell him I need to get my purse...and he says don't worry no one is here...and I tell him the condoms are in my purse...he then tells me...No condoms I want a true GFE...I was shocked and said sorry...I can Not believe other women do it without a condom...he tells me...All Women who do a True GFE do it without a condom...at that point I told him I was in the Wrong Business...and I had to go...needless to say...I got off of Backpage...and have experienced nothing but Great Guys Every since

Sucks that happened to you I've had my experiences also on the flipside of a first time visit with a guy that was great the first and/or 2nd time and then the 2nd and/or 3rd visit i'll just shake my head and reflect lol.  That whole situation sounds really....ghetto.

Please GUYS if you feel uneasy when you walk in LEAVE for goodness sake lol.

after a date one night, the lady invited me over to her apartment for breakfast a couple of days later. I accepted, and when I showed up, I discovered that she had neglected to mention her husband, who was the approximate size of New Jersey. I weigh about 160 lbs.

I'm totally new to this board in terms of participating and I had to respond to this LOL. There was a guy on another board who is well-known for seeing many providers, so his many reviews counted for a lot in terms of information. In other words, he had no reason to make anything up about his experiences.


One of the funniest ( in a sad scary way) was when he wrote a review about this woman he saw in a very bad area of town. He said that when she opened the door, the first thing that came wafting out of her house was the horrible smell of cat piss and 'other things'. I don't know what he was thinking ( probably didn't want to be rude) but he went through with the appointment. When he went to the bathroom, he mentioned in his review that she had taken a dump and not even flushed the toilet ( or, who knows, it could have been one of the sixty or so cats she had in her tiny apartment). She offered him a massage, and hauled out a tub of Crisco to use as 'lotion'.


He said he wasn't able to perform and left after a half hour. He had mentioned that she only had a mattress on the floor and he kept having to push the cats away because they kept crawling all over the bed and hissing and meowing.

My worst experience was meeting a man who wore a DDD cup bra with inserts underneath his sweatshirt. We met and hugged before proceeding to his place and I wondered why he looked so top heavy. When we got to his place, I found out. He wanted me to give him a vodka enema, then look at magazines with photos of very large, very busty women, pretend I was his surgeon, and pick out the best new tits for him. I thought it was going to be GFE/PSE.

I showed up in my vinyl nurse uniform and new red heels, and left barefoot and terrified when I  noticed the needle by the bed. He explained that it was epinephrine, in case he couldn't get it up. O-M-F-G! He then said I was just so good, he didn't need it, and smiled. Weird. Standing on the bed and giving him that enema, I was more scared than I have ever been in my life. I thought I had hooked up with an axe murderer.

While he was in the bathroom, cleaning up, I hot footed it for my car. Then, I got mad and ran back in for my money. He shoved a wad at me, which I grabbed without counting. I guess he still has my shoes, and I know he has the rest of my money.

My heart did not stop pounding for three miles, and my legs were still shaking when I got home. I thought I was going to have a stroke. Can you say 'nightmare?' Give me a break, I was an ordinary housewife most of my life! What did I know about intense fetishes? He sure cured me of wearing that nurse outfit. At least I got the bills paid. He should have told me what he wanted.

Or a Pit Bull.  Sweetest baby ever!


Oh, sorry about your visit in Merry Ole England!

I would have run too! Hope you left with you'r knickers in tact!  LOL!


shelby