I saw Lisa's post on 2 hr. appts. and thought I
would ask you all for your advice.  I have the
opposite problem.  My clients almost always stay
past their time.  Even though I do have a clock
in the room, I feel that it is rude to look at it.
I know that I sound stupid, and maybe I am.  I
have a real problem with pointing out the fact that
the appointment should be over or that I should
be getting tipped or paid more.  My appointments
generally run anywhere from an hour or two over
the first hour and sometimes more.  In the unusual
situation that I have another appt. coming up,
(unusual in that I rarely book more than one or two
appts a day and I like to have plenty of time in between)
I feel rude even when I am pushed to the limit and
finally look at the clock and usually see that I
have barely any time to prepare.  When I do mention
the next appt. I have been told that mentioning that
fact makes the client feel under pressure and that
he might not be able to climax.  (Although they always
do)  I recently posted a paragraph on my web page saying
that I wanted first time clients to book 2 hour appts.
with the 2nd hour at a reduced price, but that doesn't
seem to be working.  Although, a few have respected
my wishes (and ironically have been the best clients
I have ever had and they have even tipped me on top
of it all!)  Most pretend not to have noticed it.
I don't mind a client going over on the time, up to
about a half an hour.  Over and above that, I find that
I do feel used and I feel resentful.  I usually won't
book another appt. with him.  But the very same client
will see several other providers that I know, and they
never have that problem with him.  I know that I am
too nice, and I have even been criticized in a review to
that effect, but I don't know how to change.  Any advice?

I am assuming that this is an incall situation.  At the end of the time limit, give him a towel to freshen up in the shower.  You could also excuse yourselves and spend a little more time in the bathroom or started to straighten things out in your room.  If the client does not take the hint, tell him that you need to go out and run some errand.

If there are only 10 or 15 minutes left in the hour, don’t start the 2nd round unless he is a quickie.  You can also politely suggest that there is not enough time for a lot of positions so you would like to just do a BJ or HJ.  This way you have more control.

Your time is money.  If you let hobbyist have a 90 minutes session with a one hour fee, they will never pay for 2 hours.  You have to be firm in this regard.

You've definitely identified two types of people. Those with respect and those without.

Those with respect, as you point out, will respect your time and make their own exit appropriately. They're the ones who leave the tips and they're the ones who treat you kindly.

The jerks who take advantage of your time, don't deserve your sweet, sweet kindness.

GirlCrazy is on the right track. You need to develope a simple mechanism that becomes part of your routine for bringing the session to a nice close.

Policy and practice can always overcome being too nice. It's just like rules. One might consider that using a condom is not a very nice rule, because it feels so much better without one. But it's likely, you would never overlook that policy. Most of the time a gentlemen would not question the policy, because he understands it. It's neither mean nor nice.

Gentlemen understand that an hour is an hour, as well and their not going to question it. They will, however, take advantage of you if you let them.

"Would you like to take a shower?" is a good closing cue, or as GirlCrazy suggested, getting up and freshening up for your next appointment, even if it's a couple of hours away, or there isn't a next appointment.

Or how about "Oh my goodness, I wasn't paying attention, but our time is almost up. Oh what the hell, I'm really enjoying myself, so what's a few extra minutes?"

That will limit the overtime to just a few minutes and make the gentleman feel special. If he doesn't get that hint, game's over, and you've just got to say "time's up. Thanks for coming."

Whatever method you come up with, the most important thing for you is to do it the same way every time. The habbit and routine will allow you to overcome being too nice. Practice with your nice respectful clients - even let them know that's what you're doing - it will make them feel special to let them know that they're not the jerk but you'd appreciate if you could practice your wrap-up with them.

If you let guys stay an hour or two over their paid for time, all I can say is...

What is your phone number!

Seriously though. I can see time running a little bit over and you being nice about it, but if guys are regularly settling in for the winter at your place after booking an hour appointment, it is because you are probably giving them a vibe that it is ok to stay and hang around.

At the risk of quoting Ann Landers, "No one can take advantage of you without your permission".

If someone has booked an hour, and at the hour point it shows no sign of ending soon, I think you are well within your rights to give them a 15 minute warning and tell them that you are going to have to wrap it up soon. If he wants to pay for another hour, fine, but I dont think you are being mercenary in putting a limit on things.

I think you can be subtle without making them feel rushed. An hour is an hour, and if you allow a few minutes over that is great. You sound like a great provider who really cares how your clients feel. There is no doubt if you continue that way you will have all the repeat business you want.
Wish you were in Portland!

He is a an OLD PRO HOBBYIST of the worst order.  Very manipulative.  Showed up 30 mins EARLY and tried to stay an additional half hour late.  I told him "I would love to spend all afternoon with you but I have a dental appt and I have to be there in 20 minutes. This SOB said something like "sure sure" and SLOWLY got ready...and I mean slowly as if he was ENTITLED to stay as long as he pleased in MY home!  He was so self-centered it was amazing.  

Oh and at the beginning of the session he let me know he had seen so and so and that she came 8 times for him (this was to let me know I had to fake 9 orgasms...had to out-do her by at least one )  The worst part was the insincere acting I had to endure...its so tiring and so pathetic he was so insecure.


He is not welcomed back.  And all I can say, honey, is to start getting dressed yourself and stand at your front door with purse and keys in hand waiting for him...(he will get the message) and don't care about a review. Its a silly thing to worry about.


Talisa



-- Modified on 7/22/2002 2:24:38 AM

"You pay them to leave"


Myself, personally, I feel it's up to the provider to set the itinerary of how the session will go. Leaving things up to nature, or the discretion of the client, can only cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings. I believe you can dictate the pace of the session where both you and the client will feel satisified afterwards. to a certain extent, isn't this related to visiting a psychiatrist? The shrink has no problem telling you when time is up.

I had this problem once with a well known, respected LA provider, I wasn't trying to abuse her time, but she was dragging out the session as long as possible. I honestly didn't think it was my responsibility to "know" the session should be over soon. I know a couple of superstars who will charge for an hour, the client will frequently end up staying two or three and there isn't a problem, because the provider more or less allows this to occur.

hard to tell from your post, but i'd guess that you get as much personally involved with the encounter as your clients. or, you just hate to be the parent.

the hour divides into two parts, coming in and going out. in the coming in you are basically discovering what the client expects (or expects this time around), and what works to take him there. in the going out you are gradually closing off the reasons the client may have to hang around. you need to deal with each part.

it sounds to me as though you are procrastinating on the second part, for whatever reason. hey, it's just part of the service. it's actually the more important part, imho, because a cum is a cum, but going with a little pillow talk and a lingering hug is not the same as going with a shove. by being a little more assertive, you actually make the experience better.

starting at the half hour, you need to work down the list: has he had an orgasm yet? if he has, does he want a second? if he has, does he need a towel? if he doesn't, does he want to shower? if he doesn't, does he need a glass of water? if he doesn't, do you need to get dressed? if he's come once or twice, you're dressed, and the hour is up, he has no reason to stay. if he doesn't see that, don't take him back.

It is up to the provider to set limits.  I swear if a review says "I paid for 1 hour but stayed an hour and a half" the next guy in the door will try to out-do that and stay for 2 hours with no consideration  nor respect to the provider and her time.  Its nothing personal just that male "one-upping" thing.  

Don't let the guy get away with that.  Forget about being a "nice girl" and set firm limits and don't let your time be abused.  The guys won't respect you any more anyway if you let the walk all over you.