So lately I've been contemplating whether or not I wanted to join an agency simply to get a feel of working in a team setting. When I leave said agency I was hoping that we could still be friendly with each other by sharing each other's links on each other's page. There's many pros and cons to working with an agency but I decided I wanted a new experience.
So with that being said I finally received a response from one I applied for (I won't embarrass the agency by naming them. It's not in my character.) I spoke with the owner for not even a minute and he said, "Sasha you look great and you're definitely intelligent but look, you're not exactly "Snow White" if you know what I mean." I said, "of course but I'm sure you understand that many different people are into many different things."He said, "Well yea but from what I've seen in this industry, black girls are more likely to have pimps, have an attitude or just charge way less and I can't have my girls compete with girls who charge $40." I was shocked he would have the audacity to say that. I told him, "Well first of all I'm half black and half Latina. Every race as their own devils that are less than desirable to clients. You can't single it out to black people alone." He said, "I know because Asians are known to be cheap to. But that's because they are all human trafficked by their pimps." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "He said he would give me a chance by putting me up on his site and providing drivers and do advertising but he would not pay for my hotel room because it's too much of a risk. He thinks that I wouldn't make enough money for him to be able to profit from me. He said, "How do I know that I will be able to get clients to book you for $240 an hour?" I didn't tell him that I charge $300 an hour and have no problem booking appointments. Looks are one thing but personality is everything. I told him I would think about his offer. He said, "See the fact that you aren't taking me up on my offer tells me you believe you won't make money either." The more he talks, the more I wonder how he became a business owner. I told him, "No that has nothing to do with it and everything to do with principle. I know I can make money I'm just not sure I wanna join and be met with other surprises. It makes me wonder what else you will say you will do that wasn't advertised on your site. Your site never said you were only looking for European types and now I hear this from you." He told me, "Well you should feel lucky I'm offering you a deal at all because I have friends in the other agencies and they wouldn't even reply to you. They would just ignore your email." I decided I wanted to end the conversation on a good note because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of believing even more that black girls are these horrible people. So I thanked him for the opportunity and told him I would think about it. It only took me a minute to conclude that I did not want to be associated with a people that run their business based on stereotypes. I don't want to tarnish my image by being associated with racists. The opportunity wasn't worth it to me. So now I ask all of you. Do you think I'm over reacting? Do you think I'm wrong for not taking the offer even though I know I would make money? Do you agree or disagree with his take on the adult industry? I would love to hear any and all feedback on this topic.
I'm sure you have your reasons for wanting to join an agency, but if this is the typical reaction, it doesn't make sense. I don't know much about agencies, as I have never used one, but I do know a thing or two about race...and his comments were more about opportunism than anything else. He saw a business opportunity and tried to grab it -- in a most crass and unprofessional manner.
You didn't overreact at all.
Forty years ago "people of color" sometimes had to just "suck it up" and deal with the overt racism that permeated our society, but this is the 21 century and speaking strictly for myself, I no longer "suffer in silence" and I would have told him to GFY well before our conversation had gone anywhere near as far as yours did.
I wouldn't have had the slightest desire to end the conversation on a good note. I would prefer to end those types of conversations with him picking his teeth up off the floor. Can you even imagine how low your self esteem would be if you actually did business with this wanna be plantation owner?
BTW, I can't believe you tried to justify yourself as being "half black and half latina" to this racist punk. Did you really think that would make the slightest difference, and do you even think that makes the slightest difference? I am mixed as well, and I would NEVER try to justify my self worth to some racist cracker that I am "not as bad" as others of my race because I have part white blood flowing through my veins. Now go wash out your mouth with soap, take yourself a long hot bath and vow to NEVER again let some racist douche bag to talk to you that way.
and in your own inimitable style you support her but rather harshly. I know, if you were harsh, we'd know it. lol Bit I still agree except ...
if she wants to pursue an agency affiliation. Perhaps not kicking his teeth down his throat (not a bad idea) will help her with another agency. The no "burning bridges" theory.
Can you imagine her working for an agency and this DOUCHE BAG telling the owner that she's a trouble maker (untrue of course).
Her reputation must remain irrefutable while no one cares at all about the DB's. He'll move on. Imagine a "white girl" having to work for that asshole. Probably not treated much better.
This is one of those battles worth fighting. At the risk of being "uppity" yes she told have told him to stick it. When you let people talk to you this way it gives them the impression that it's ok to do so and you give them no reason to change their behavior. Any one who talks to me in that fashion will be promptly and harshly reminded that it is NOT ok to talk to me in that matter. Even if the guy controls the industry in that town and even if he has a hundred pounds on me.
Yes, some battles are most definitely worth fighting and I say this from first hand experience. I have no regrets about the times I have gotten my ass whipped standing up for myself, I do however have a few memories that still stick in my craw where out of a sense of self preservation I let some racist cracker walk all over me. The fact that I had ZERO chance of ever winning and the fact I was often outnumbered a dozen to one don't change the fact that I still wish I had done "something" I don't dwell on stuff like this, my life today rocks and I hate to live in the past, but every once in a while I am reminded it wasn't always this way.
Speaking up for yourself doesn't always do any good except to make you feel a bit better about yourself for the moment, but not speaking up for yourself can make you "bitter and angry" and bitter and angry is no way to go through life, it's much better to occasionally tell someone to GO FUCK YOURSELF!!! when circumstances call for it. It's very therapeutic, you should try it sometime.
If sex work was fully decriminalized? Then providers would be governed by the same rules as public businesses. You can't reject your customers based on their religion or ethnicity. I saw a funny piece on the daily show about porn starlets getting 5x their usual rate for fucking a black dude... Are u kidding me?
It's really fucked up. I would not tolerate a thuggy or rude person. In my experience I have had more rude whites people than rude black people. Except for one person who blatantly short changed me more than once, and he happened to be black. Other that that I have had more bad experiences with other ethnicities. So I know better than to judge someone based on the color or their skin.
I think Ure right GaG. A nice "go fuck your self" would have been in order on this one. Would have made her feel good about the entire interaction with that asshole. I'd go as far as to say expose them.
I had contacted a reputable agency in NJ To inquiry about being part of their staff. They just said "we are sorry we don't work with tgirls". No need for explanations or fronts. I respected their decision although I don't understand why if there's a chance they can profit with my business and viceversa, they would still decline. But I guess that's a diff subject than the one on hand. Still aggravating tho. Sorry for the rant.
-- Modified on 2/17/2016 11:31:54 AM
I fully support a hookers right to turn down a customer for ANY reason she so chooses. If he is too tall, short, fat, thin, black or even Asian. It's her body and her choice about who gets to fuck her, even if her reasons are racist, bigoted, or just plain shallow and unreasonable.
I may disagree with a person's racism, sexism etc. but I will fight to the death for their right to be wrong. I will also hold them down to give someone like the OP the chance to punch them in the face though. It's kind of like the KKK, I support their right to march, but that doesn't mean that If I get the chance to "cull one out from the herd" I won't take the opportunity to rip that hood off his head and choke him with it. lol
I probably will make even more enemies here by saying this... But if you're not ready to provide to all ethnicities and types of people. Then maybe they shouldn't provide. What right do people have to make other ethnicities inadequate?
Why would that way of thinking not apply for let's say a coffee shop. Let's say that the owner is a religious freak that doesn't wanna serve Muslims? Oh it's my establishment... My choice? Doesn't sound quite right enit? We all have prejudices... I get that. Doesn't mean it's acceptable.
It is what it is I guess. But being a conformist isn't gonna change society for the better. Maybe because of my condition as trans makes me look at things differently. Idk. But I'm sure there's other people out there who feel the same.
Two instantly come to mind and both said the same thing.
They were sexually assaulted by AA men when they were younger and pre-biz.
You are assuming every girl is being racist by having a NBA policy and I would have to concede many of them proly are, but lets not group everyone together.
In these two specific instances, I fully understand why they wouldn't want to be intimate with black men.
Now, is that fair to the 95% of black men that are good guys? No. But imo, you would be asking a girl to cross a major psychological barrier to guilt her into seeing a black man who has been raped by one.
I have yet to hear a woman claim she was raped by a white guy and now will only see Latino, Black and Asian guys.
The overwhelming majority of white women who won't see black men have their reasons rooted in racism, but I am actually okay with that. You can NOT outlaw racism. You can outlaw endemic and institutional racism, but you can not outlaw how any certain individual actually feels towards people of another race, nor should we be able to do so.
and just what are the chances of "several" women that you know having been raped by black men in their youth? Sounds like there is a lot of raping going on by the brothas in your neighborhood. Sorry, but I call bullshit. I still maintain the overwhelming reason for a NBA policy is racism. That and perceived (or real) racism on the part of her clients who don't want to be with a woman who fucks black guys.
One last thought on the subject. As everyone knows, I spend a lot of time in Latin American countries where P4P is perfectly legal, in countries where people claim there is little to no racism, but I have had literally dozens, most likely hundreds of chicas over the years tell me they won't fuck black guys. Racism is hardly confined to the USA. If you REALLY want to see overt and blatant racism in play, try going to any Asian country. They don't even try to hide it.
I don't give a fuck. I am telling you what they told me privately and in an emotional state.
I believed they were telling me the truth.
And by your own words "overwhelming reason for a NBA policy is racism" doesn't include ALL cases, now does it?
Your generalizations, and my anecdotes, can both be true, cant they?
and let me repeat my earlier question, "Have you EVER heard a woman claim she was raped/abused by a white man in her youth and as such will only see Latino, Black and Asian men?"
Sorry, but when a white woman won't see black men it's almost always due to racism. Almost everything else is just a cover up. At least the chicas that have told me they won't see black men rarely try to sugar coat their racism. Actually most of the women I know who won't see black guys will admit in private that they are simply racist. They don't use those exact words, but racists rarely do. Well actually that's not entirely true, some people are actually openly racist, at least you know where they are coming from.
But that does NOT mean these two girls are liars, GaG.
So let me ask you this. Lets say you knew fact certain both of these girls were telling the truth.
Would you then understand and appreciate why they adopted a NBA policy?
Aside from that, even if true, the women you speak of are racist. Perhaps "racist with a reason" but racist nonetheless.
It's not just that you and I have never heard the story in reverse, but that with all the thousands and thousands of posts on the subject, no one has ever told that story in regards to white guys. Once again, what are the odds? and that's why I call it a bullshit reason.
I fully respect a woman's (or a man's) right to be racist, but please let's call it what it is.
IF...and I am saying it is a big IF, what these women told me are true, I would NOT call them racists. They had no issues with black women, very young black males or very old black males that I was aware.
Its not racism GaG. Its self preservation.
Might their compass be warped? Sure, I would acknowledge that. But that doesn't make them racists, imo.
It makes them human.
...They had a bad experience with an African-American so now they discriminate against all of them. That's what your beloved cops do. They abuse the civil rights of African-Americans as well as beat and murder them out of a sense of self-preservation, not racism, right? So their actions are justifiable, right?
...that African Americans are a MUCH bigger threat to the safety of other AA's than any rogue cop. I see your cop hating is back along with your race baiting.
Nice touch taking a shot at women who were raped too.
You've had a full day.
Ya know, it is actually an overtly racist comment when people choose to throw out statements such as black on black crime and negate to offer the flip side of the pillow. Im sure you'd like to make that statement as if it were some type of justification for the actions or misbeliefs of others, however, here is a little stat for you to start quoting in the future:
https://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2013/crime-in-the-u.s.-2013/offenses-known-to-law-enforcement/expanded-homicide/expanded_homicide_data_table_6_murder_race_and_sex_of_vicitm_by_race_and_sex_of_offender_2013.xls
White on white crime is just as relevant, it just isn't thrown in our faces as a factor the way black on black crime is. Since we should be focusing on the harm we do in our communities, I would suggest you make the same efforts in your own. At the least be fair and equitable when making that argument.
As far as the black lives matters movement, please don't assume the black people are saying your life does not matter. That is not the basis of the movement or argument. It means that we should not be shot in the back such as in SC or choked to death as in Eric Garner's case for selling cigarettes or murdered in a stairwell for no reason at all as in the case in New York. We are just asking for the same and equal opportunity to be judged by a jury of our pears and not sentenced to the death penalty before having the opportunity of adjudication. Now I'm not saying all police brutality victims are of color, however, the vast majority are. Imagine what would have happened if a group of heavily armed black people took over a federal building such as the case in oregon. Stating that my life matters does not negate the value of yours. Surely you understand that one does not cancel out the other? You don't have the misfortune of requesting equal treatment because you have it. Just because you don't suffer the real and present hurt and abuse of those of color does not mean it isn't based on facts, past and present. If you can't relate at least have the decency to empathize with those who are in harms way. You are tired of hearing about it why? Why does it offend you that a group of people are asking for equality? In one breath we are told if we did things right by one another we'd be in a better place but when we do organize it's a problem. I'm confused as to what exactly you expect. If we use violence we are a terrorist group, if we protest we are whining? There is a no win situation for us except to continue to take the brutality and hurt we have endured for hundreds of years in silence.
Please forgive my lengthy rant but at some point even the misguided comments begin to hurt. We don't think your lives don't matter, we just want you to understand that ours does to.
Nice touch taking a shot at women who were raped too.
You've had a full day.
I like how nobody read my response to myself.
Their are girls who wont see white men. and I know them, and everyday they will give me a new reason
1. "The sandy school killing and all those other white boys that went crazy- you don't see black people doin that shit" (right)
2. "When you look outside and you see police, aint they all white?" (p.s. My family lives in queens, most of our task force is latino)
4. "You never heard of the craigslist killer, girl? You gone die."
5. "White people is gross, asking for BB this and BB that, they all got aids."
are these not racial comments? These are reasons why a SPANISH girl who is actually WHITE LATINO wont see white men. I swear to god.
I will see any type of man, black, white, Asian, purple, whatever- as long as they are over 26 & pass a level of screening. (used to be 21, but apparently people ruin it for people)
There are "reasons" why some girls wont see black guys, or white guys, or Hispanics. (One girl wouldn't see Asians because they all have small dicks- whore much?) but none of them are MISINTERPRETED, its just what they know based of what they've seen. It may be an ignorant opinion, but its an opinion none the less.
It's not just that you and I have never heard the story in reverse, but that with all the thousands and thousands of posts on the subject, no one has ever told that story in regards to white guys. Once again, what are the odds? and that's why I call it a bullshit reason.
I fully respect a woman's (or a man's) right to be racist, but please let's call it what it is.
Sorry, but when a white woman won't see black men it's almost always due to racism. Almost everything else is just a cover up. At least the chicas that have told me they won't see black men rarely try to sugar coat their racism. Actually most of the women I know who won't see black guys will admit in private that they are simply racist. They don't use those exact words, but racists rarely do. Well actually that's not entirely true, some people are actually openly racist, at least you know where they are coming from.
I used to work in volatile environments in all sorts of areas and dealing with the black culture was much more challenging than the others for that reason, very aggressive and volatile. Is that racism or just how it is?
Racism is always going to be around in some form or another, so I would not let it get to you. At the end of the day you know what your value is and don't let others tell you any differently.
The following has to be the best quote ever from Gambler that I have ever agreed with whole heartily.
.... It's kind of like the KKK, I support their right to march, but that doesn't mean that If I get the chance to "cull one out from the herd" I won't take the opportunity to rip that hood off his head and choke him with it. lol
admittedly i am not of mixed race so i don't have the strong feelings of being pigeonholed by racist crackers. i can't speak to the feelings that would swirl inside me if i was continually subjected to demeaning behavior by people obviously less worthy than i am.
but, what i have been is an entertainer at the mercy of assholes who i want to hire me (specifically i made a nice little chunk of change as a stand up comic in my younger years). though it has nothing to do with racist jerks, i did have to play nice with complete morons, aka comedy club owners, who are notoriously equal parts dumb, narcisstic and demeaning towards the help.
i can't tell you how many times i had to bite my lip and listen to drivel about me and my act just to be able to get a spot on the next night's line up.
ok, somebody telling me my jokes weren't funny isn't the same as a cracker telling sasha her skin color makes her unworthy of money or support. but what i'm saying is sasha also bit her lip and played nice with the jerk at the end of the convo for much the same reason that i had to. in the entertainment biz, your reputation proceeds you by a mile.
i am sure sasha didn't want it getting around to other agencies that she was a stuck up bitch with a smart ass mouth, which is the nicest thing the guy would have started saying about her if she had let him know what a racist asshole he was.
all i'm saying is that she may have taken the expeditious route out of the conversation by not burning a bridge, no matter how unpleasant a bridge it was.
i may or may not have anything relevant to say about it, except my heart goes out to sasha, and you too gagambler, for having to put up with assholes all your lives. good on ya for sticking up for yourself but everyone chooses the battles they fight, and it's tough to know someone else's war.
Only part of it. I don't put up with "real" racism anymore, but I am about the least sensitive person in the world where it comes to political correctness. You should just hear all the chink jokes my friends tell me in private, or even in public, like right here on this board.
IMO words like chink, nigger, spic, heeb or mic don't make a person racist. It's the intent behind the words that count and I am well past a point where I have to make nice with such people. I can understand to a point why Sasha might feel she needs to. We each have to make our own way through life, but I don't regret a single ass whipping I ever took standing up to bullies.
Ok, "CRACKER" is a racist term for white people
and it has No FRIGGING appropriate use
especially when used in a place where a
discussion about racism is taking place.
It's ignorant and wrong on so many levels.
Dude, get over it and please get over yourself.
If it makes you feel better you can use the word "chink" I promise I won't go crying to mommy.
and this is a fuck board for fucks sake. You don't have to say "FRIGGING" when we all know you want to say "FUCKING" but you are too PC to do so. Come on, grow a fucking pair and say what you mean. No wonder JLS/Corrine/GallopingGourmet likes you so much, I bet you are the one guy who's ass she actually can kick.
She could kick my ass, but you know doubt know Kung Fu(no doubt) so I'd say"Draw" provided you don't drink your bottle of tequila.Drunk, she'd kick your ass so bad that it would look like a baby seal clubbing happened in the room Sometimes "frigging" just sounds better than "fucking", but that's an EngRish thing. You probably don't understand.
If it makes you feel better you can use the word "chink" I promise I won't go crying to mommy.
and this is a fuck board for fucks sake. You don't have to say "FRIGGING" when we all know you want to say "FUCKING" but you are too PC to do so. Come on, grow a fucking pair and say what you mean. No wonder JLS/Corrine/GallopingGourmet likes you so much, I bet you are the one guy who's ass she actually can kick.
"racist cracker?" Really?
You do know "Cracker" is a racist term for white people don't you?
Of course you do ...
Hey GaG,
GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!
and you should just hear my repertoire of "cracker jokes" but some of my "best friends" are redneck crackers, so that should make it ok., right?
BTW do you know how many white guys it takes to......
Great! You grew up in the barrio right?
Tell me, how does that childhood taunt that
Hispanic kids say to all Asian kids,
"Chino Chino Japones come caca y no me des"
("Chinese, Chinese, Japanese: eat shit and don't give me any").
is that close?
And the eses only said that shit to the Oriental kids that they thought wouldn't or couldn't kick their culos. That little rhyme is way older than the term Asian
If you think that shit was bad, you should have heard the trash talking the Black kids talked. In my neighborhood you were either quick witted, quick fisted or life was really fucking tough for you. Considering I never didn't ever weigh more than a 150 lbs until I was around thirty, I chose to be quick witted, but you had to be willing to go to the mat. I learned at a very early age that people treat you the way you allow them to treat you. You can be 6' 6" and 280, but if you have no heart, you'll still get treated like a punk.
I suppose some people consider that little rhyme highly offensive, It was never really that big a deal to me. Most of my childhood friends where Chicanos, and I gave at least as good as I got where it came to trash talking. Call it a "rite of passage" if you like, but IMHO we need more of it, maybe we wouldn't be such a nation of pussies if we weren't so PC today.
Thank you. You hit the nail on the head.
if she wants to pursue an agency affiliation. Perhaps not kicking his teeth down his throat (not a bad idea) will help her with another agency. The no "burning bridges" theory.
Can you imagine her working for an agency and this DOUCHE BAG telling the owner that she's a trouble maker (untrue of course).
Her reputation must remain irrefutable while no one cares at all about the DB's. He'll move on. Imagine a "white girl" having to work for that asshole. Probably not treated much better.
I wasn't trying to justify anything. I wanted him to know that I'm more than what he sees in the outside. I wanted him to know that I have pride for both places that I came from. Also I'm sure that ending the convo violently is exactly what he wants and I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he was right. I would be feeding his fire by being negative. Not my style. But I do see why you would be enraged. I simply don't react the way most people would.
I wouldn't have had the slightest desire to end the conversation on a good note. I would prefer to end those types of conversations with him picking his teeth up off the floor. Can you even imagine how low your self esteem would be if you actually did business with this wanna be plantation owner?
BTW, I can't believe you tried to justify yourself as being "half black and half latina" to this racist punk. Did you really think that would make the slightest difference, and do you even think that makes the slightest difference? I am mixed as well, and I would NEVER try to justify my self worth to some racist cracker that I am "not as bad" as others of my race because I have part white blood flowing through my veins. Now go wash out your mouth with soap, take yourself a long hot bath and vow to NEVER again let some racist douche bag to talk to you that way.
I generally don't agree with GaG on too many things, but this time he nailed it. Fuck the agency, you should have outed it.
I hate stereotypes! I never worked for an agency nor plan on it but I have noticed some guys being more nervous about seeing AA ladies. Im half Black and half Filipina and fortunately I never had an experience like that before BUT then again I never tried to work for an agency. Keep you head held high and try other places that are open minded and fuck everyone else!
So with that being said I finally received a response from one I applied for (I won't embarrass the agency by naming them. It's not in my character.) I spoke with the owner for not even a minute and he said, "Sasha you look great and you're definitely intelligent but look, you're not exactly "Snow White" if you know what I mean." I said, "of course but I'm sure you understand that many different people are into many different things."
He said, "Well yea but from what I've seen in this industry, black girls are more likely to have pimps, have an attitude or just charge way less and I can't have my girls compete with girls who charge $40." I was shocked he would have the audacity to say that. I told him, "Well first of all I'm half black and half Latina. Every race as their own devils that are less than desirable to clients. You can't single it out to black people alone." He said, "I know because Asians are known to be cheap to. But that's because they are all human trafficked by their pimps." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "He said he would give me a chance by putting me up on his site and providing drivers and do advertising but he would not pay for my hotel room because it's too much of a risk. He thinks that I wouldn't make enough money for him to be able to profit from me. He said, "How do I know that I will be able to get clients to book you for $240 an hour?" I didn't tell him that I charge $300 an hour and have no problem booking appointments. Looks are one thing but personality is everything. I told him I would think about his offer. He said, "See the fact that you aren't taking me up on my offer tells me you believe you won't make money either." The more he talks, the more I wonder how he became a business owner. I told him, "No that has nothing to do with it and everything to do with principle. I know I can make money I'm just not sure I wanna join and be met with other surprises. It makes me wonder what else you will say you will do that wasn't advertised on your site. Your site never said you were only looking for European types and now I hear this from you." He told me, "Well you should feel lucky I'm offering you a deal at all because I have friends in the other agencies and they wouldn't even reply to you. They would just ignore your email." I decided I wanted to end the conversation on a good note because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of believing even more that black girls are these horrible people. So I thanked him for the opportunity and told him I would think about it. It only took me a minute to conclude that I did not want to be associated with a people that run their business based on stereotypes. I don't want to tarnish my image by being associated with racists. The opportunity wasn't worth it to me.
So now I ask all of you. Do you think I'm over reacting? Do you think I'm wrong for not taking the offer even though I know I would make money? Do you agree or disagree with his take on the adult industry? I would love to hear any and all feedback on this topic.
He sure isn't doing much to change things! If he does not want competition with low prices, he could do less to perpetuate them by locking out certain races and spreading nasty stereotypes. And, as a person who works for and loves agencies, I still would be inclined to remind him that the definition of the word 'pimp' pertains to him and he would do well to get off his high horse.
-- Modified on 2/17/2016 6:45:08 AM
definitely made the right decision. Follow your intuition, it's dead on.
You'll find the right agency
Is an industry where blatant racism is still acceptable. People find some of the stupidest reasons to mascarade their racism but they couldn't be more transparent. In this case, the ignorant agency owner was at least honest, although that doesn't make it any more acceptable. I'm sorry this happened to you.
I hate when people reject other people based purely on skin color. That's some ignorant BS.
Yes, you are right not to want to be associated with this moron.
No, racism has no place in the hobby in that context. There are times I chose women of color, or ethnicity because I want to explore the experience and learn. Do not think I mean a notch on my belt or anything.
Profiling based on previously being a street walker, using a pimp, on BP.....I think that is fair. That would apply to any color or race. But because you are a women of color...PLEASE----REALLY.
I have had several experiences with all kinds of providers, Asians, Latino's, Redheads, Brunettes, Jewish, etc. I look at race in the context of the hobby experience, just as I look at boobs. Variety.
When I was 17 I could have lost my virginity to a gorgeous African American. She was a model, went to my H.S. and offered to let me photograph her nude. She also was very interested in the fact I had never had sex. Even at that age it was not hard to connect the dots. I chickened out because of race. Not proud of it now.......lost a great opportunity AND had to wait 2 more years to pop my cherry. Karma.
So move on, do not look back. Their loss
I am so pissed off for you, if I could encompass my rage into an image, it would be the attached.
I am so sorry that you had this interaction. I literally can't believe this shit is still happening. I mean I CAN believe it because it happens on the daily to people all over the world, but I am just so saddened that it's still happening.
I think you made the right decision, you already know they're racist assholes, working for them would not have been a positive environment for you.
I can't right this particular wrong, but I can and do say something when I see situations that are wrong in my day to day life. Fighting homophobia, sexism, racism, classism and many other things one tiny bit at a time.
sending positive vibes! *heart emoji*
You're a sweetheart. I wanted to feel angry but I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Like I said giving into his trap of fright to get me to be rude and violent is simply beneath me.
I am so sorry that you had this interaction. I literally can't believe this shit is still happening. I mean I CAN believe it because it happens on the daily to people all over the world, but I am just so saddened that it's still happening.
I think you made the right decision, you already know they're racist assholes, working for them would not have been a positive environment for you.
I can't right this particular wrong, but I can and do say something when I see situations that are wrong in my day to day life. Fighting homophobia, sexism, racism, classism and many other things one tiny bit at a time.
sending positive vibes! *heart emoji*
First I will respond to your questions.I do not think you overreacted at all in fact your response was very nice considering the conversation.I think you absolutely did the right thing by not taking him up on his offer.
I disagree with his take on the adult industry however this is very common thinking with many(not all agencies)You are not the first lady of color that has mentioned the not so nice responses when contacting an agency for work.If you even get a response.If it was me the conversation with this idiot would not have gotten that far and probably not that pleasant.The gall of him to act like just responding to your email with bs he was doing you a favor.
I will share my experience working for agencies as an exotic escort for many years before becoming an independent.I am mixed puerto-rican,filipina,irish,and african-american so the agencies never quite knew how to market me correctly.And wasn't really interested in trying to find out a way to market mixed,ebony,or latina ladies correctly in my opinion.
Unfortunately,in this business from an agency standpoint many of the owners feel exotic(mixed) or black escorts do not make money.
In my experience I would get hired but when it got time for bookings I got nowhere near the calls the white providers received.Even when a guy would request an exotic mixed or black escort and I know I and some other ladies were available the agency would send a white lady instead.If the guy insisted he did not want that then they would try to send what he asked for.When speaking of my displeasure on lack of calls considering I was available alot of times and had many white girlfriends who worked at the same places who would not even be available and would still get calls.I had a few friends who are dark skin ebony escorts and they literally got no calls at all unless the owner could not get any other lady to go to the appts then they would send them.Not cool.They quickly left became independent and are doing quite well now.
I was told by the agency owners it is not beneficial for them to advertise more than one picture of an exotic(mixed)or black escort because "we don't get calls for those types."
Well I am sure they didn't consider the advertising was non-existent if you were not white or asian so of course the number of calls are not going to be the same.
It was very upsetting to me and then some of those agencies closed and the others I just quit and decided I don't need an agency to work.I can do my own advertising I don't need the rude comments or the bs that goes along with working for an agency and the cattiness of working with other escorts that acted as if working with a fellow escort who did not look like them was beneath them.
The best decision ever to become an independent!
To the OP you don't need an agency owner to talk to you like you are less than because of your skin color.
Being an independent do your own advertising,get on the boards join discussions,have some rockin' pics to go with your ads,and best of all you know you are your own boss!
There are guys out here looking for ladies of all colors and body types don't let an agency talk down to you for any reason.
Just sharing my experience.
-- Modified on 2/17/2016 9:03:21 AM
unfortunately for me i have no direct knowlege of jayda lee's business model, but i am guessing she does really well on her own now, judging by her pics and reviews!
and you can bet if i'm ever in vegas i will investigate first hand!
In any industry, there are going to be bad bosses. In this industry, bad boss can be used interchangeably with the term "pimp." And in this industry, worldwide, there is a problem with race and how much money a woman can make. For instance, in the legal brothels in Germany, white women command the highest prices, while women of African heritage are stuck with the lowest.
I personally prefer women of color (with a few exceptions), but because I stick with independents who set their own prices, I get to see some of the better providers in my area. Women of color do very well in the Twin Cites market; most of the racism here comes in the form of page back ads that specify "no AA men."
And competing with girls that charge $40?! Jesus jacking off Christ, I would think anyone with half a brain knows better than to see anyone under $100. Those kinds of "specials" are almost always indicative of a pimp. That agency owner obviously has more than a few screws loose. I'm thankful he "outed" himself and drove you the other way
First of why did you decide to work for the agency if you are saying you have no problem getting appointments for $300. From what I know to make the same money your price tag should be $600. And I have a feeling that those who charge this kind of money are not very busy. The second is not really a question, but the post without your picture doesn't make the "whole" picture. How we can make a conclusion or just an opinion without seeing you? Usually in this business people spot the looks first, well, and after attitude.
I had no idea that an upscale agency would charge the rates they do. Their rates weren't listed in their site I merely assumed their rate would match their so called reputation. When he told me the price and on top of that I would have to give him a cut I would turn it down even if he was nice. Like I said I wanted to do it for a couple months more for the experience. I charge what I charge for two reasons. 1. I feel I'm well worth it and 2. I want a limit to the amount of clients I see a day. So by charging more I'm weeding out the clientele I don't want as opposed to the ones I do. Some girls are happy charging less and having their phone ring off the hook every 5 minutes. I'm not. The way I see it, why would I be so busy seeing 10 people a day when I can see 3 and make the same amount of money? Hey to each their own. High volume doesn't always mean more money. I want to be able to focus on the people who come to see me by reserving my energy for those that cone to see me. Every girl is different.
As for my pictures what do you mean? I post pics almost everyday in the photo section. I'm still kinda new so I don't know if there's anywhere else I can post pics.
Okay, firstly, the whole idea of race is ridiculous.
Secondly, I would have cursed him out. I'm middle Eastern but I look snow white. How would he feel if I told him I was isreali. Would he not believe me, just as he shrugged off your ethnicity.
Then again, I can't say he isn't justified in his belief because MANY women do fall victim to these stereotypes, and do live them. And it's truly disgusting. I hate when I see a $40 ad. It makes me cringe. And I suppose, seeing this as the majority, he's trying to cover his bases. In a very rude and unnecessary manner, but still he doesn't know you from any other girl he works with, so he can't decern you.
You should have stuck up for yourself, you just let him walk on you. Not cool, on either part
And I hope you aren't mislead by my response. I'm not agreeing with what he said, or how he went about it, but maybe his reasoning wasn't terrible unfair, but not unwarranted.
I met a girl who said
I won't date white men, white men are cops..
Uhm... Okay, ur crazy
Are we outraged about that as well? How about age limits? Or weight in proportion to height?
So with that being said I finally received a response from one I applied for (I won't embarrass the agency by naming them. It's not in my character.) I spoke with the owner for not even a minute and he said, "Sasha you look great and you're definitely intelligent but look, you're not exactly "Snow White" if you know what I mean." I said, "of course but I'm sure you understand that many different people are into many different things."
He said, "Well yea but from what I've seen in this industry, black girls are more likely to have pimps, have an attitude or just charge way less and I can't have my girls compete with girls who charge $40." I was shocked he would have the audacity to say that. I told him, "Well first of all I'm half black and half Latina. Every race as their own devils that are less than desirable to clients. You can't single it out to black people alone." He said, "I know because Asians are known to be cheap to. But that's because they are all human trafficked by their pimps." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "He said he would give me a chance by putting me up on his site and providing drivers and do advertising but he would not pay for my hotel room because it's too much of a risk. He thinks that I wouldn't make enough money for him to be able to profit from me. He said, "How do I know that I will be able to get clients to book you for $240 an hour?" I didn't tell him that I charge $300 an hour and have no problem booking appointments. Looks are one thing but personality is everything. I told him I would think about his offer. He said, "See the fact that you aren't taking me up on my offer tells me you believe you won't make money either." The more he talks, the more I wonder how he became a business owner. I told him, "No that has nothing to do with it and everything to do with principle. I know I can make money I'm just not sure I wanna join and be met with other surprises. It makes me wonder what else you will say you will do that wasn't advertised on your site. Your site never said you were only looking for European types and now I hear this from you." He told me, "Well you should feel lucky I'm offering you a deal at all because I have friends in the other agencies and they wouldn't even reply to you. They would just ignore your email." I decided I wanted to end the conversation on a good note because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of believing even more that black girls are these horrible people. So I thanked him for the opportunity and told him I would think about it. It only took me a minute to conclude that I did not want to be associated with a people that run their business based on stereotypes. I don't want to tarnish my image by being associated with racists. The opportunity wasn't worth it to me.
So now I ask all of you. Do you think I'm over reacting? Do you think I'm wrong for not taking the offer even though I know I would make money? Do you agree or disagree with his take on the adult industry? I would love to hear any and all feedback on this topic.
I have seen threads where that comes up, too. And not all side with the NBA girls in those threads.
But, really, I've been around when a dispatcher tells a guy his first pick doesn't see black clients. It's not pleasant, but they were far more tactful that this agency owner was with the OP.
And while I have no NBA policy, I do feel there is a difference between telling a provider who to have sex with and telling an agency owner to
a: not be rude to prospective employees
b: maybe let the clientele decide and vote with their money when it comes to race
Agencies have a right to hire providers who will make money for them. But, I've seen a lot of physical characteristics come up as negatives in reviews. Being black in itself is not one of those characteristics, as far as I can tell
I don't know what agency that is, but this conversation was by far the most classic scenario in the first part of the initiation process by a pimp.
He was training you to not think for yourself, but to prove how much his opinion matters to you. You need to "need" his approval. He was interviewing you to see if he could control you psychologically. The more you discussed this with him, the more you pass his test.
The only thing I agree with in this industry, is no one can tell you what kind of success you will have, because YOU define yourself. Until you can figure out how to define yourself, who you are, and what you are or are not capable of, you'll never get past what you let other people tell you about your future.
The only people who become greater than the masses, are the people who don't believe the masses. The masses can be asses.
Usually the most "experienced, convincing people" are self-proclaimed anyway. Something worked for them, or didn't, so now they can council other people lol. By the way, they will make it sound like the masses think this way.
Great discoveries over history were shot down by SO many people. Nobody believed them, all of the record companies and publishers said no, but the artists, inventors, writers, and other professionals had a bigger vision for what they held valuable. So much that they became great all by themselves.
I think you have to have people tell you that you suck from all angles, as a test to see how much you believe what you know to be true about yourself and your gifts.
Fuck this pimp. He is purposefully degrading you to see if he can control you. If you "pass the test" to become a part of this low end agency, you have failed.
I have a fun time showing myself new horizons on life. Part of that is taking ownership for my own lack of success. Part of the ownership I take is accepting low-end bullshit advice as gold. But it sure is fun to get past it, look back and say, "Oh my god, they were wrong." Fun fun fun to live that way!!
-- Modified on 2/17/2016 11:03:41 AM
to all the responses your post garnered.........not sure I can add anything worthy. But.......I will say I am extremely surprised........in a good way.........that you received so many positive/profound/spot-on replies.
Normally there are more than a few.........out in left field comments on this site. Will be careful, but am inclined to feel a ray of hope for humanity.
Thank you for sharing your experience.........and as one poster suggested.........please never try to mitigate your ethnicity........you are who you are...........and that is what makes you amazing!
-- Modified on 2/17/2016 9:28:16 AM
He might just be one of those tell you what they think people. Might tell his white providers in the same direct way that a fat girl or small breasted woman would never make it with his clients . The area he is in might dictate what he has on the menu. He did offer you a job and a chance. He knows his clients. A lot of the agency's where I am have black girls in them. Some very good looking ones too. A lot of pretty independent black providers with a high dollar donation here too. The back page ads have a lot of cheap white and black girl ads.. I think that makes for a lot of competition. But he could be racist too?
No matter what color you are. Some things (including people) can't be bought or sold at any cost. Just continue doing what feels right to you and in due time you'll see the right path. Just make sure you're looking for it.
You're absolutely right! I just want everyone to to be clear about one thing. I don't HAVE to join an agency and I'm not desperate either. I simply wanted to try it out. See if I could learn new things build a rapport with the agency, meet new people etc. I simply wanted a learning experience. I've been independent for less than a year and I went from your average escort to VIP status. But just because I made it here doesn't mean I can't still learn something new. I'm always learning and from this experience and based on the feedback I'm getting I'm just horribly turned off. As much as I like new experiences, an agency appears to be less than desirable at this point.
And that's the ONLY way to do things. You never know what's on the 'other' side until you poke and prod to make sure you're on that right path. All good points Miss Sasha and I'm happy to see you made the right decision for you. When the curiosity gets the cat, the only way to satisfy that curiosity is to do what you did. I can relate. I did it too. (at one point lol) so NOT me either.
Good luck to you. And thank you for sharing.
G xo
-- Modified on 2/17/2016 5:46:31 PM
For those mad at me for not 'standing up' for myself or getting angry it had less to do with me and everything to do with principle. He's not worthy of seeing me so distraught. Don't you think that by yelling and carrying on that he would get satisfaction out of it? What would it accomplish by telling him something he doesn't care about? Sorry but I don't let myself lose control of myself and my behaviour regardless of the situation unless it's really that important. And he wasn't Athat important to me. I don't know about all of you but he simply wasn't worth the time or energy. I saw him as beneath me and not anyone I had to prove anything to. That's like a millionaire arguing with a homeless man. Why should this millionaire stoop to the homeless mans level? Why should I stoop to the moron of an agency workers level?
If you don't want opinions, don't put yourself out there on a public board.
I have had time to think about my advice and comments to you. The more I think about them, the more I am convinced I was right in the first place. You gave him way too much credit, and made way too much of an effort to justify yourself to him. I think in the future you might regret having been "nice" to him, he most certainly didn't deserve it, and the more people let him get away with his blatant racism, the more he is going to think he is justified in his behavior.
I call bullshit on your claim it wasn't "that important" to you and I hope the next time this happens, and more than likely something like this will happen again. next time I hope you give him a real piece of your mind, I bet you won't feel such a need to "bare your soul" here if you had done so this time.
You just gotta buy this guy a drink sometime.
Love him, hate him it don't matter, it's just bound to be a fun conversation. And I suspect you'll get a shoot from the hip, no nonsense, albeit drunk answer.
I'm guessing it'll be worth the investment.