Nice!

And so very true. Happy Valentine's day!

This guy sounds like a major suck-up. :-)

ut a pretty nice guy nonetheless.  

Nice to hear that there are nice guys on this board, and that you are making friends in the windy city. Guess you're going to have to pay us a visit now.

I hate to be the Debbie downer on this happy thread,

But why am I the only one who thinks this is a bad thing?
Am I missing something?
How does some random guy on the internet have your address?

...hope you cut your donation at least in half, maybe even a freebie, because he made you feel special and courted you.  I'm sure a business trip to your city is already in the works.  Octavia, you need to be as cynical as I am.

Be careful. I don't have clients who know my home address. If they have to send me something, they've known me long enough to have patterns that show they're legit, they get an address hours away from where I actually live. I don't care who it is!

Obviously, if someone really wants to know where you are, they'll find it. There are ways. But lots of the real psychos will look for easy prey. Easy prey believes google chats and TER. Believes good looks. Believes charm instantly.

I am sure you'll be fine, but posting that you're giving out your personal address on TER - Do you know how many people read these boards? Not just the "trusted posters".

Girl - you need to close your doors and close yourself to just any man. They need to go through a series of high pressure interviews that they don't realize they're having. They're not interviewing YOU. YOU interview them.  

There's a whole different world out there if you look beyond the teachings of non screening, and that people with membership ID's are "safe."

Oh my god, no they are not. I've met some and - well, anyway. Girl, oh my god have this shit taken down and *stop that*!

P.S. I really think this is a huge joke. Even if it is, you are still opening yourself up to some serious shit posting this.

-- Modified on 2/15/2016 1:20:32 AM

With second half of the posts on this thread.  As I first Octavia's post I thought to myself, "awwwe, how sweet..." But in the back of my mind I thought," wait...she never met him. Why'd she give a total stranger a REAL address?"

The second half of the posts should open up ANYONE's eyes.  It's sad what's lurking out there in the real world.

D.

please note I am not speaking for O., but rather about her ..  

I've seen her more than a few times as she's my ATF. She knows this. She's as nice a person as ANYONE I've met in 10+ years hobbying. And she's almost as open with her feelings here as she is in session, but I'm always concerned for any friend who is so trusting. I'm a world of opposites, black and white, good and bad, it is someone like her, or you and me, that can be taken advantage of. She's just a natural pleaser in every sense if the word.  

It's her true spirit that she is following IMO. And THAT is why she has burst on the scene like the superstar she is. But as a friend, I'm concerned for her safety,  as I am for all of the ladies in the hobby.  

And while her skills alone are enough to have you drool (lol) at the thought of being with her again, it's her openness that sets the hook. She's a great entertainer but is as real as it gets in my experience. And she is wise beyond her years. But much of what we learn comes with experience, as we all continue to learn every day, especially thru interactions on this board. I know I do.  

I know she'll take what's important from these posts and will evolve as the edgy courtesan she is, as long as she's with us. Some of us have an angel on our shoulder. I do and I believe she does too. But it doesn't preclude any of us from being cautious.  

Guys are screened for a reason and every escort probably has had at least one guy they'll never see again. Creepy, scary, etc ... It's the odds and she's a numbers person ... she'll get it. But that doesn't mean she's leaving the door WIDE open for trouble.  

Again, this is MHO as she can speak for herself. It's just interesting to see +1s from people that MAY have never met her. Whereas posts from Courtney and Alyson truly have her safety and best interests at heart. As well as ours.  

Because she's dear to me, I thank those of you that are offering a friend your words of wisdom. You see, I can be a selfish bastard too. Lol

Stay SAFE, Have Fun. Repeat! That goes for all if us

for watching out for my safety and teaching me lessons

yes, i am green in a lot of ways and wear my heart on my sleeve

i have paid the price for trusting too much too soon in the past  

 
the person in question does have white lists on TER and is reputable hobbyists...

probably should haven not given him my real name, but we have been chatting for almost a month...and even did cam-to-cam...

just like guys think with their dicks sometimes, women often think with their heart... i was thinking with my heart and not with my brain...i apologize

the flowers did make me really happy and in the spur of the moment i posted this..

Very few of my clients know my real name. Zero of them know my home address. There is no need for them to have that information.

The clients who know my real name are not the ones who've asked, repeatedly for it (those guys get told a fake real name). The clients who know my name earned my trust over a period of time...but, for the most part, they still didn't ASK for my real name. My real name just came up coincidentally. For instance, I booked a private tour of an old house, and used my real name rather than my escort name to make the reservation (for obvious reasons). After a while, they asked me which name I preferred for them to use...it seemed more natural to use the real name at that point.

Trying to find out the name and real address of someone you've met online... that is just a line very few *people* will cross. Even fewer hobbyists will cross it... No matter what his motives (maybe he really did just want to send flowers), it's just not appropriate in this context for him to pry for that information. I mean...WHY ASK??? If he wants to get to know you, he can get to know you... he doesn't need a real name to do that.  

In case you're thinking he just wanted to use the info innocently, to send flowers, he definitely didn't need it for that, either. A client of mine sent roses to a florist in a town he thinks I live in (unfortunately, I live over 90 minutes away). So theoretically, I just have to pick them up... all this guy had to do was call a florist somewhere in BOSTON, and you could pick them up. He could have them sent to 'Octavia' or just 'O'. I've picked up flowers, and no ID is required.  

So why exactly is he asking you your real name? Just why? So that he 'knows' it... from 1200 miles away??

As for whitelists, you should know by now that some board posters have as many BL's as whitelists. Same goes for p411 OK's or references (a reference or OK is only as good as the provider giving it).  There was a notorious hobbyist on the NY boards (S-x-g-------, NY'ers will know who I mean) who seemed reputable on the surface and had tons of whitelists and board posts to his cred. But, to the savvier guys/gals, he was a notorious scoundrel, heavily blacklisted, pretty much universally reviled (unless you want to be blackmailed/coerced for a 10-10)... one of my worst dates ever when I met him w/an agency.  

Sometimes, it seems impersonal to put up so many barriers to a guy who's disarming, and SEEMS sweet and well-intentioned. I mean, what kind of jerk doesn't share a real name w/some dude who wants to send flowers on V-day? BUT, default to what I said above... you met him online... it's a line most hobbyists (and even just normal men on normal dating sites) just do not cross. And it just isn't necessary. (Except, if he used the flowers as an excuse to disarm you and try to gain your personal info...I'd be very careful if I were you).  

When I'm trying to decide if a gent's behavior oversteps boundaries, I often ask myself what I'd do in the same situation. So, if you were speaking with, say, me (if I were a hobbyist)... would you, under ANY circumstances, EVER specifically ask for my real first and last name? Or even just my real first name? What about my home address? I doubt very much you would feel it necessary, or appropriate, to try to extract that information (aside from first name). In fact, it would be extremely inappropriate, and I hope you'd expect for me to cut off all contact...

I have a guy who's emailing me EVERY DAY (emails w/multiple paragraphs). He even emailed me twice one day. I've met him twice, and he lives in a different city. The first time we met, I told him that he could keep in touch...meaning, periodically...  I've tried delaying replies for a day or two, and replying very briefly... he didn't take the hint. Emailed me right back, several paragraphs. Of course, he's nice, so I kind of wanted to make excuses for him, like 'Oh, he's just lonely and needs someone to talk to.' It's natural to want to think the best of others, and make excuses for people. But I have to think that, in the same situation, I'd never do the same thing. It's not only presumptuous, but inappropriate and inconsiderate. I don't even email my mom that much!!! (If I did, I'd expect her to be a bit annoyed w/all of the letter-writing). He has to realize on some level that he really shouldn't be emailing so much...but, he continues to do it... WHY? There is no answer to that question that I like. We probably won't be meeting again. Even though he was "nice." He's likely going to be a problem and I'd rather just not wait until it develops further

The first post set off alarm bells, but after reading ALL of the posts in this thread, it has become creepy as hell.

Octavia, you need to be more guarded. Also, take the advice of others and read The Gift of Fear.