I am okay with idea that only way I can date desirable women is by paying them. Win-win as far as I am concerned.

Even though I had to give money to my ex, I found out quickly that she spent much more than she made. I found myself with an extra $2000 a month or so after all of my expenses. Guess what I spend it on?

In my pending divorce, what my lawyer says I am supposed to pay, and what her lawyer is demanding that I must pay are two different figures that aren't even in the same universe.   My wife refuses to support herself too.  

Im coming up to the end game of a divorce after 30 years married. Here is my take. You are supposed to combine your income, assets and liabilities with a party that not too long ago was a total stranger. You then are expected to share equally (at least in California ) everything that was accumulated in the past 10 to 30 years plus no matter how much either party contributed. And this agreement is done with the full knowledge that there is a less than 50% chance of this clusterfuck working. Sounds pretty stupid to me. Btw. There's a hi chance of shitty sex, fat sex partner for the rest of your life.

-- Modified on 11/7/2015 8:46:48 PM

Ah, yes…a ‘woman like that’. But, apparently, you and the OP were interested enough in marrying a woman “like that”, that you actually married one.  

Just sayin'....

Of those that receive alimony only about 3% are men, yet the main bread earner 40% of married households are women. Sorry but women rarely get to pay alimony even if they would be getting it if the situation was reversed. Sorry men get the shaft when it comes to alimony.

-- Modified on 11/7/2015 7:27:24 PM

UT, and this is a big but, the number of households in which a husband/father now stays at home and takes on the more 'traditional' role of "wife/caregiver"----with or without children---while nearly unheard of 25 yrs ago---has increased significantly over the last 10-15 years.  

Even in cases the woman is the sole bread earner men get less money for shorter time and often don't get anything. It is about gender. Divorce court favors women. Sexism is real and women aren't the only victims. In the areas of custody and alimony men are the big loser. The stats are extremely plain on this.

Whoever came into the marriage with the most loses the most. All other things being equal that is. And MANY rich powerful women have had to pay hefty sums to their boy toy hubbies.

Unless men feel too emasculated to even ask for it...

That's why divorce is worth every penny IMO alimony usually isn't for life and you will make more money. Just sleeping in the middle of the bed is worth it. Going on vacation where, and when, you want with having to debate and compromise is fantastic! I'll gladly pay for sex because it's great sex. And the blow jobs don't stop like they do when you're married. Life does go on ... And single life is far much better than living in a shitty marriage. It's amazing how much a angry, miserable, spouse can drag you down, but you don't realize it at the time. Life is short. Enjoy it.  

This country's Judicial system is so fucked up it's no wonder we are in the position we are in debt wise.  For the guy who posted the threat, i feel for you and what you have to go through.  People come from all over the world to experience the American dream, start a business and live prosperous, or at least thats what it used to be about.  Now all you have to do is be a woman and get divorced and or have a child and the courts deem you deserve to be taken care of the rest of your life!  A buddy of mine just recently lost a motion to have his spousal support reduced, the judge denied it deeming him "an able bodied male capable of working."  So I asked and I'm sure he asked to, what about her???? Apparently sitting on your ass is a full time job now.

...done on mice who had an infinite supply of food so they didn't have to worry about anything. What turned out was the rats became lazy, antisocial and neglected their offspring. I find this is similar to western society where these days even with a guarantee that you will never starve or live on the streets if you work hard we have quite well off families become broken because of changing needs and wants.

I never got married... Not even close.. Pays to be nothing to write home about or look at! Never thought being a loser would be winning!

Amen!!!!!!!

That she owes you money for all the hookers you had to pay when she wasn't doing her marital duty.

She might be a bitch but you might be a giant bag of dicks...see, we do not have her opinion of you.

And over the years when women did not work it had to favor them, how in the hell was  a woman with no job and kids to take care of back in the day, supposed to support themselves.  

Plus I do not want to stare at the same sack and sausage for the rest of my life or watch while he gets fat and saggy. I am with you, staying single and ready to mingle.

Cannot understand why a guy would rather marry any chick than be on their own until they are 50 with no kids. You chose ti want to seem normal and married someone you obviously compromised or you would still be happy. You make your choices you pay the piper. See if you had remained alone childless you would now be rich and happy. Any man unless you marry someone  you, you will always end up being an atm machine with no sex in return.

It's worth it.

This is all so sad. Is marriage really so bad? I guess statistics say "yes" but the thought of probably being better off alone forever isn't an easy one to swallow either. Where is the middle ground ?

she sounds like Peggy Bundy

I've never heard of a man getting Alimony IRL. I've heard of the concept, but never seen or heard of it IRL. I've also heard of the concept of a Unicorn, but never seen or heard of it IRL.

If you honestly think the ex-wife is a danger...get off YOUR ass and file a report with DCFS.  It's anonymous BTW.

Even when I'm alone, I'm not alone. I prefer being single than to be with someone who loaths me with every ounce of her being. Frankly, it sucks to be married and the statistics on divorce confirm that.

You can't put a price tag on peace of mind.

And the best part... When your wife asks, "Does this dress make me look Fat?"
You get to say, "No Hun. Your FAT ASS makes you look fat!"

Until you see what those rich,powerful, women look like ...

My friend did however ask DSS to investigate, two things, first they think he's butt hurt and two there aren't enough investigators. You might think, or have been told that they have to investigate all claims, but reality is that there are too few people to investigate the situations. We don't live in a perfect world, most people, like you, think that every claim must be investigated, but reality is that there are many people who fall through the cracks. If there isn't physical evidence (lacerations/bruises), they get put on the back burner.  

And we had a few knock down drag out fight (not literally, I've never hit a woman). We agreed that I would not respond to those questions anymore in an attempt to keep the peace.

...if married to someone that you often spend your hard earned money on and that person is often unhappy and critical towards you, let alone contributing very little to the marriage.

The saying goes, " Love is blind" but often, Love is dumb also. People don't think when they are in love because emotion takes over and logic takes a back seat. Pre Nups are a great idea, but they are not written in stone as any attorney will tell you.  

http://images.classicalite.com/data/images/full/7936/452742720-jpg.jpg?w=60

Up until I started this wonderful part of my life, I made poor choices in women, civie women. Now, my choices are outstanding, of course civie women and men don't come with reviews.

but at least in my case, it was worth it.

I have no physical proof to contribute, it's just a suspicion.

You are on a forum where most members are unhappily married men paying to get their sexual needs met. You think the message might be a little biased here?

And I bet you are happier now. I know I am. I wish I had discovered this lifestyle many year ago because I really think it's good for the soul. I run into old friends now and then and it seems that the ones who stayed in "loveless marriages" are really paying for it. They have big health issues, eight problems, grey hair, and I look at them and think, "We are about the same age ...WOW!" Because they really look like shit for their age. You can't carry that much stress year after year and expect it won't affect you. Maybe, I've discovered the fountain of youth.

There is a great deal of judges discretion in alimony cases. There has been multiple studies showing in simular cases women get awarded alimony more often. It is simular to how blacks see more jail time than whites. The law is color blind but judges and juries aren't. Alimony laws are gender blind but judges aren't. Old broken stereotypes die hard. In America women are the main bread earner in 40% of households yet only 3% to 10% depending on state of all alimony awards are male. That is a huge discrepancy not explained by just men not wanting it. The problem isn't the law but in it's application. Only about 17,000 men are receiving alimony while about 400,000 women are. Remember about 40% of the time women are the chief bread winners and these marriages have a higher divorce rate.  

If you believe that something is not right in your friend's ex-wife's house with her kids....YOU can report this....ANONYMOUSLY!!!!

It will get better,  patience , optimism and time will make it better. You'll get there.  
Best,
Bianca

In most cases that appear before a magistrate maintenance is never an issue.  Over the past few decades women have become equal wage earners to their male counterparts (in deference to what some may wish to believe).  Rarely would a magistrate order one party to pay the other.  However, in many cases the issues surrounding custody and child support will be visited.  Especially to a custodial parent who now may need to pay for child care and reduce his/her net take home pay.

It is however a legal document that would govern a "he said/she said" argument as basis.

Oh wait...I'm sure you were  LOL

"Yo" to GaGambler and other lesser Masters:  I want you all to know that

So WTF are you babbling about?

I guess the same reason that when a guy wants a steak he'd go to Gibsons and not get that tube steak at 7-11.

Something is broke in our family courts and that's my point. This doesn't affect me for two reasons. First my wife was a jaded on marriage and had us sign a prenuptial agreement mostly to protect her given her assets was worth over twice what mine was and she earned way more than me. My bussinesses grew and hers died reversing who the prenuptial agreement protected. It plainly states I get to keep my bussinesses and she gets to keep hers and neither party is entitled to spousal support, everything else should be separated evenly. Second neither my wife or I am planning of divorcing. I am not bitter or whining, I am just stating facts. Fact is results of divorce favor women in custody and alimony. The why can be argued.

The prenup sets out the assets PRIOR to marriage.  As you discussed you had zilch and the spouse had something more than zilch.

It is both parties working on the marriage. And lots and lots of forgiveness from both parties. Sadly many people chose to hold on to grudges, quit working the relationship, and behave like their spouse is the competition instead their partner. If both husband and wife support each other, work constantly on the relationship, spend time with each other, communicate with each other, and forgive each other, marriage works. I am very happy to be my wife's husband and I feel she is happy to be my wife.

Women get equal pay for equal work. Then I might have some sympathy for this inequality.

any affectionate contact at all, and finds creative ways to break things that I have to fix with my time and money"?

Don't let facts get in the way of the illusion.

My ex had a very nice body when we married. By the end, she could have been a sumo wrestler.

However with any "partnership" things change.  And when it is changing and one of the partners is oblivious to the changes....they deem it rejection.

And back in 2010 my wife and I was near divorce. We both did things that deeply hurt the other. The papers was even drawn. I had a team of lawyers and my CPA go over the prenuptial agreement and they concluded given the document clearly states under no circumstances if both parties are healthy should ether receive any form of spousal support be granted and clearly states my bussinesses ownership and income remain with me regardless of future growth and should not be counted as a marital asset  (same is true in reverse) that it now protected my interest over hers. But she would gets the house and the cash value of what her business was worth, and half of all other assets which are substantial enough.  

Most of the comments so far are generalities and half truths, so in the spirit of things I will contribute a few more...
In most divorces, the standard of living goes down initially for both parties, but if they are careful and manage their resources well, financial and emotional recovery and resumption of enjoyable life style are not unusual.

just marriage to someone you can't stand.

Still you concur that the prenup was/is a formal contract that you, your attorney(s) and CPAs believe would and should be enforceable.

You married someone you couldn't stand the phirst time around?  Why in the phuck would you do that?

And many who have finished with it, that argument is lame.

I had several good years of marriage, and got two great kids, so I would not term it a horrible experience, it had just run its course.  

refer some new divorcee to see a shrink..WTF is that all about?

A woman was standing naked, looking herself at the mirror. She was not satisfied with what she was looking at and said to her husband: "I feel awful. I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need a compliment right now." Her husband replied: "Your vision is perfectly nice!" ...and then the fight started.

After listening to other peoples' woes all day, you would need a person to transfer your own burden to.

So your accountant is the brother-in-law of your attorney who has a cousin that's a shrink.

And they will play fetch...and roll over...and just be your damned best friend forever.

It's just how few guys here tell you to "mind your own fucking business" when you butt into their personal lives with out a clue to their personal situations. Not that I don't enjoy the ensuing train wrecks, but it constantly amazes me just how many guys will try to "explain" themselves to somehow justify themselves and their actions to you instead simply telling you to fuck off.

Of course it doesn't surprise me....not in the least  LOL

When I realized that being married to the woman I was with was likely to make me as miserable as many of the men here, I got out, and I got out fast.  

Actually there are 3 sides. Hers, mine and the truth.