Gentlemen,
I'm fuming ... but I'd rather be STEAMY when I feel safe with a prospective client. ;->
There are some of you out here who will understand where I am coming from ... It is you to whom I appeal tonight.
Here is an email I received today from a selfproclaimed TER Member. Should a provider accept this? Or would you guys PLEEEEZ help him out...
This is the 2nd time I have received the SAME EXACT EMAIL from this person in 60 days (after I'd requested him not to email me again). I can easily delete, as I OFTEN do, but since I am sure he is watching this board,he might derive some benefit and slow down on this assault. (I am sure he approaches and irritates the other ladies as well with the same exact emails.)
Gentlemen, I can accept myself or a man being horney, we all get horney, but I would at least appreciate a decent (?) INTRO email, or is a little class too much to ask on the internet, especially from a TER Member? (Be gentle with him. ;->) Even tho I am furious.
(oooh, btw, he is all of 43 yr old, so you would think he might know better?)
(Name and description witheld)
"I am looking for a woman for an extramarital
lover in an open marriage. I would like a woman who
doesn't mind being a little kinky. Please do not be
offended but I would like to know how intimate we can
be together. I am also a member of The Erotic
Review.
If any of this is offensive or too private, you don't
need to respond directly to the questions just tell me
if I would be satisfied seeing you knowing this is
what I would expect.
I usually pop three times but can go more if you are
willing long enough, so you must have athletic like
endurance. I like to kiss, wet, tongue around tongue
especially when I am inside you. Would you do full
bare back oral to completion and swallow? How about
speaking backdoor greek? I would like to do a lot of
dining at Y on you, 69, sitting on my face, cowgirl
and reverse, doggie and more. Do you do incall and
what are your rates? A recent photo would be nice
also. "
Gentlemen, Would appreciate some feedback ... hope he sticks around long enough to let some of the "Good Guys" wear off on him (Oh, that was my response to him on private email, btw.)
thanks,
XOXO
Felicia Foxx
-- Modified on 6/11/2001 12:36:02 AM
FF,
That's the intro e-mail,yikes! Classy guy, eh?
Chrissie
Hi Felcia,
Besides not being very classy and crude, there is another reason I would not respond..that is because he mentions explicit sexual acts and is asking about money.
Could be LE or someone as you first suggested, not very refined.
That email is a hot potato, and glad you did not respond.
Guys, for me, what I care about most is how you approach,treat me, and when I mention 'class', I do not define it by your position in life or by the money in your bank. I define it by how you treat other people on your journey.
I think of that old saying.. a lady in the living room and a wh*re in the bedroom...lol...its so true. There is a place for everything, and being that explicit in email is just not cool.
For those of you who fail to get a response from someone you would really like to see, perhaps check out your style of the first few contacts, and also see if the lady has some rules regarding this on her site.
Sweet Dreams, Susie
I like Susie's style and content. Well said. As a Male, active in the pursuit of assorted pleasures and varieties, this persons vulgarity can be no less than LE, or an underaged boy looking for a chance to get a smutty e-mail reply. I cannot fathom a grown 43 year old man soliciting the favors of a Lady with such primative crudeness and language. Ladies, don't just flame this guyall at once.... make it a long, slow, flaming. Maybe he will get the idea somewhere down the road...or Not. That is just my opinion...and what do I know?
I simply don't respond to these types of e-mails. I assume they are sent either by LE or some other lowlife who holds me, providers, perhaps even women in general in low esteem. Even if he were to learn how to approach me better, he would still be the same guy with the same opinion of me, and I wouldn't want to spend any intimate time with him.
I agree. That any idiot who sends e-mail like that shouldn't be given the time of day.
But from the other side of the fence. I have a question for SP. I know it's a dangerous world out there for SP. When they ask for personal information for appointments I supply to them without any hesitation becouse it's for their safety.
Historically for me there's 50% reply. But what really aggravates me is the 50% who don't reply. Giving personal info. to someone you never met is taking a huge chance by the hobbiest but I do it.
It only takes the SP a minute to reply if she interested or not meeting you. That's all I ask. No matter what the reply is at least I know the info. has reached the SP and not floating in cyberspace. Except if you receive explict or rude e-mails they should be filed in the trash bin and the address blocked on your e-mail.
Well that's my two cents.
The guy who emailed me calling me all kinds of names ( with his real name written beside his email address in parenthesis). Then he would email me a nice letter stating how great my site is and how he would love to meet me ( same email address and real name once again showing). I think I had posted about this guy here at the time. Anyhoo, it makes you wonder doesn't it? what kind of person would number one, be so demented. As if you are going to respond at all, and whether he is a hobbyist at all. Some guys just get off writing on these boards and writing to providers like it's cool or something. I have also gotten emails from what I think are providers that are equally if not more disturbing. The internet has done some wonderful things for this business, but it has also brought out some very weak and mentally imbalanced types who take advantage of the fact that we do not have to take resposibility of our actions under such anonymous conditions. Technology is not always what it seems. Mr. George Orwell was one of the best at pointing this out to us.In some ways it's too bad we didn't heed his warning.
That was a very INTERESTING email! I can see why you would not respond! This is a question for the ladies, maybe one of you could help us by writing some guidelines you look for in an introductory email. I think a lot of guys just really don't know and it might be a lot of help if you could give them some pointers.
-- Staff
He doesn't mince words, does he? LOL
Some people are idiots, pure and simple. How about a simple "hello and you are very lovely?".
To the ladies, some people are weren't raised right or just don't realize that you don't talk to someone like that. Would he talk to a first date like that over dinner? I don't think so.
You were right in deleting that mail, manners are paramount when dealing with other people. Brendan Fraiser, the actor, once said in the movie "Blast from the Past", "manners are way of showing not only respect for others, but respect for yourself."
I would seem as if the stupid are in the process of inheriting the earth whether the rest of us like it or not!
All carnal conversation between two adults ought to be saved for solicited conversation IN PRIVATE!
Ladies that have chosen to work this gig are awesome. Talk about a hard job.... Thank you (all of you) for putting up with bs like this. Ofetn men are dums-asses when it comes to women and then there are true slobs among us. This email is proof.
I think the rule of thumb when writing an introduction email is to be respectful, tactful and courteous. Introduce yourself. Inform how you got her email address. Ask how one goes about meeting such an amazing woman....
That's it. If you must go on, complement her on what attracted you to her.... Cascading blonde hair, wondrous body, lovely face, amazingly beautiful eyes... Spectacular website...
Simple, no?
Sorry Straightman, It is too much to ask of many, they have a way of thinking that is not even close to normal. Like women are in the public domain.
Since you are available by e mail I can bombard you with filth and depravity. And like the ladies said, it's only going to be repeated in 3D. Perhaps this unfortunate man has an open marriage so she can be rid of herself of Himself! This is not an open door policy! Play nice.
CD
I think that guys think that because there is a presence or the suggestion of promise, they talk anyway they want to.
Women are women, no matter what they do for a living. Don't think you can come up with this whole, "this is what I want" and launch into a descriptive about a sexual encounter and turn her on. We are wired different and they are not going turned on with this whole crapola.
Yes, people, women may be their gender but they are still LADIES!
Show your manners, act like your momma raised you right and practice good grooming habits and this will get you further than any Penthouse/Forum inspired letter ever will!
Amen, this is a form of the old "I pay your salary, so I can abuse you" thing. Hogwash!
Chrissie
I think a lot of this characters thinking is generated by the fact that he reads the same kind of trash in some of the "Juicy Details" in the reviews. If one reads enough of that kind of "talk" they might be stupid enough to think it is acceptable behavior. I think maybe eliminating the "Juicy Details" and replacing it with a more generic system, even though it may be bland, would clean up the board and I know it would make some of the ladies happier.....Just my .02 worth..
Staff...let's make the juicy details less explicit. It can be done and still convey the how the session went for the reviewer.
pt
but I fear we are nevertheless a minority here.
For that reason, I would NEVER identify myself to a provider as a member of TER! Then I'd have to explain that I am one of the few who doesn't like to talk about women as though I were an adolescent!
Nice Shoes....
Wanna Fu**? (at this point I duck)
Ladies - We all look bad because of guys like that. It pains me that in addition to dealing with the illicit bature of the worlds oldest profession, you also have to put up with....that.
The Golden Rule in all things guys.
Or as I am a geek......Garbage in. Garbage Out.
Bottom line - people like this create their own personal Hell. Let them. Ignore them, and move on to folks who are willing to act like reasonable Human Beings.
In all things...Balance
LookyLooky
FFF = Fairest Felicia Foxx,
It has been noted that ignorance is the second most common element in the Universe and it seems to be most abundant in this person's e-mail.
You have my sympathies as I get bothered by spam e-mail that are just stupid much less something like this which is also crude.
I think you have done well to avoid this e-mail should it also be LE with a mailing list trying to get his numbers for his status report but before I would assume that I am reminded of another thought
"Never assume malice when sheer incompetence will suffice as an explanation".
Also thanks for posting this as I think it does two things quite well:
1. shows the type of crap you ladies have to deal with as "part of doing business"
2. Allows for the discussion of what makes up a good intro letter. Something I think all of us would like to read more about.
-JP
-- Modified on 6/11/2001 1:04:30 PM
I'm sorry you or any of the ladies need to go through the nonsense. Yes, it gonna happen and that's a sad commentary on humanity in some ways.
Ever see Bull Durham, that Kevin Costner love story pretending to be baseball? When the Susan Sarandon character tell the young "baseball Annie" (the rock groupie equivilent) about the young lady's "dress question" for the impending marriage : "Honey, every woman in entitled to wear white"...well that says it all. You all are entitled to respect.
-- Modified on 6/11/2001 4:01:30 PM
par_timer,
I read the FF post on the General Board this morning. I spoke to my favorite today and she informed me that she had received the same or very close to the same inquiry. NOSC confirmed that she too had received a similar email.
This is a chain email going out to providers, for what purpose who knows. But it's obvious this individual is crying out for attention, and is probably only interested to see who'd, reply to his proposals, so he can mentaly masterbate himself at the idea that any of these woment would agree to his little fantasy. Talking about a pathetic loser.
It is a sad comment that people get the idea that if a person, is in agreement to perform concentual sex, they are not considered to have feelings or deserve to be treated with common decency, and respect. As Chrissy Dahl put it, "I pay your salary, therefore I have the right to forget your a human being" It's F**king sick. What's even more frustrating is that the Putz, claims to be a member of TER.
My 2 cents worth.
G 
-- Modified on 6/11/2001 7:32:48 PM
-- Modified on 6/11/2001 7:33:54 PM
comments: Dear Lauren,
I am sorry that I could not give you
my phone number due to the fact that I am
married and I work for a conservative computer company.
Please email me in advance to tell me
how I can reach you. I live in XXXXXXXX, CA.
I am in perfect physical condition (you may inspect me physicaly for
proof).
I would like to have full vaginal intercourse with you. I DO NOT want to
engage in anal intercourse nor do I want
any blowjobs (those seem pretty disgusting).
My technique is all wrong ladies. Thank you for sharing these inspirational words of wisdom and motivation.
only after removing anything that might identify the author, of course.
One can learn from positive, as well as negative, examples.
I almost always (80-90% I guess) get helpful replies when I contact providers by email, so I suspect I am doing OK, but I would still be interested to see what sort of message any of you ladies think particularly appropriate.
-Ww
Lauren
And no reciprocol physical proof was required of you. How kind.
I imagine these are once a week phenomena if not more. If they weren't so sad, they would be funny.
Ladies and Gents,
Thank you for revealing your thoughts, feelings, experiences on this thread. Oftimes I will chat with a close friend, or another provider, when needing to "vent", but this post went beyond venting, (yes, i employ the delete button freely) but the reason for actually posting this: 1)repeat email by offending selfproclaimed TER member 2)I felt that in the light of all the recent rudeness on TER, and talk about explicit reviews, this might serve to help with discussion as to where we want things to go with TER.
1) this man claims to be a member of TER, and by so doing can either create a noose or a laurel for himself. I used to not see clients from TER. Wonder how many providers still feel the same way? I wanted to hear what other TER members, especially the men, felt about the character displayed by this man. Happily the ladies responded as well. Thanks to all.
2)I tend to agree with Chuey and a couple of other gentlemen who added similar feelings, that explicit reviews tend to condone a certain type of thinking in regards to a provider as a commodity to the exclusion of the person. Personally I don't use explicit language on my site, so as not to encourage same on email (the bedroom is another story, as Sully so aptly mentions). Yet does the fact that many of us ladies have provocative, nude or semi~nude pics on our sites, or explicit membership pictures show crudeness as a desirable approach? One can always rationalize.
3)Regarding examples of good intro emails ... just make it easy on yourself and on us ladies. If she has a booking form, then please fill it out truthfully. Otherwise leave her alone. If she doesn't have a booking form, you needn't go into a long timeconsuming diatribe, giving pages of irrelevant details, unless she asks you to send her a fantasy scenario, which should come later, anyhow. What is relevant? Just ask her. The best emails like Neverwuz mentioned, "Hello, your pictures are lovely", and then ask how to proceed to book an appointment. Unfortunately, I don't have an example on this computer that I can pull up and post. But importantly, and gratefully, there are increasingly more courteous emails than not, I have found.
4) Does #3 tell LE how to write a good letter? Is the email I posted from LE? LADIES MUST ASSUME that EVERY letter is from LE. With or without the earmarks of explicit talk. LE changes their approach consistently, in my opinion, and one should never underestimate them.
5) Concerning giving out screening information to a provider who never acknowledges receipt. Again, maybe she is out of town, accidentally deleted the email and can't find it in the trashbin, a number of reasons ... why not a)send receipt requested, b)follow up a week later and ask her if she received or responded to the email? A conscientious provider will answer, unless of course, you have offended her, as is evident by the responses on this thread.
Roadrunner, I understand your concerns; very similar to mine when I give out my address and the client never shows up for the appointment without calling to cancel (moreso in the day before I used to screen diligently). I would panic for days, under the assumption that I was possibly being staked out or stalked. Now that I screen at least get a chance to reach that person; I get far fewer noshows as well, because most clients I see ARE accountable.
Finally, many thanks to those of you who are helping make the positive changes to the climate on this board. Thanks to Staff for being receptive, and to GND for the endless amounts of reading she must endure, and still give us all those great jokes! Personally, i would love to participate more, but am catching up on several personal things (including redoing my site)
Gotta Love you guys!
xoxo
FF
-- Modified on 6/13/2001 4:04:20 PM