are aware that I'm a recent widower, and that my wife and I enjoyed a remarkable life together.  I've posted a number of my works on a popular poetry site.  So, on this, the eve of the one-year anniversary of my wife's passing, I've posted something for her.  I invite those of you who're interested to read it.  Thanks for putting up with my stories of marital perfection.



A YEAR'S PASSING

To my wife, Debbie, who died a year ago on June 5, 2002

The Earth has come full circle in its journey about the sun.
It is inconceivable that a year has passed
since I kissed your cooling lips a final time,
and pressed your tiny hand with mine,
as I did when we were seventeen.
A year is such a fleeting moment in a lifetime spent together.
And yet, as I gaze back over my shoulder
through a rainbow of sparkling tears,
last year seems a different life;
a different world;
and I, a different man.
My prayers for comfort go unanswered.
Just as did my prayers first for your cure;
then for your remission;
and then for your quick death.
I am surrounded by loving friends, yet I am alone.
I find myself more prone to laughter, yet I am desperately sad.
Oh, that God would grant me solace from my pain. . .

Or mercifully unite us again as I sleep.

In my book you can keep posting poetry all you want.  It is one of the most moving poems I have read in quite some time.  Keep up the great writing.  I hope that it helps you deal with your loss.

Thank you for sharing it with the board.

caguy_69

-- Modified on 6/4/2003 7:59:05 AM

I also thank you, My family had a great loss 2 days before Christmas which will haunt us each year. Yesterday was also the B-day and 40th anniversary of the loss I speak of.

Times have been tough this year, so I thank you again from the bottom of my heart............

Your poem brought tears to my eyes. I hope the next year is easier for you than the last.

May you find peace. Thank you for sharing.

--SoCal

I know the saying refers to lost love in the sense of splitting up but it is appropriate here as well. loverofwomen was truly blessed to have known such joy in his life. It will help him eventually ease the pain.

I hope you find comfort.

As I sit here and read it all that comes to mind is how very blessed you have been to have had such love in your life. Some of us have yet to experience " the greatest love of all". Your poem gives me hope that it is out there " true love" that is.
kisses.........
mara of san diego

set upon the net in your words. This passgae  "It is inconceivable that a year has passed
since I kissed your cooling lips a final time,
and pressed your tiny hand with mine,
as I did when we were seventeen."  made me cry the hardest.

The picture in my minds eye of you saying your final farewell broke my heart. I did not lose a love such as yours but a love none the less. As I leaned over and kissed my beloved brother good bye one last time 7 years ago I wondered if the world would ever be the same.

Thank you for sharing that. It is passages such as this that make us stop and remember just how precious our lives are and helps us to appreciate those we love so dearly.

Slan Gra my friend,
Lass

Beautiful words.  Remember that our time on this earth is but a fleeting moment until we are rejoined with loved ones for eternity.  She is still with you and always will be.  God blessed you greatly with a soul mate.  She knows, even now, the love for her that is in your heart.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.                              I am not there, I do not sleep.                                 I am a thousand winds that blow.                                I am the diamond glints on snow.                                I am the sunlight on ripened grain.                             I am the gentle autumn rain.                                    When you awake in the morning's hush,                           I am the swift uplifting rush                                   of quiet birds in circled flight.                               I am the soft starlight at night.                               I am the song that will never end.                              I am the love of family and friend.                             I am the child who has come to rest                             in the arms of the Father who knows them best.                  When you see the sunset fair,                                   I am the scented evening air.                                   I am the joy of a task well done.                               I am the glow of the setting sun.                               Do not stand at my grave and cry.                               I am not there, I did not die.                                 Written by Mary Frye and Wilbur Skeels

How few of us have had the blessing to have or know "Marital perfection" as you have.
  My mother passed three years ago leaving my father alone after 53 years.

  LoW I shall add you to my prayers for comfort from here on.

  FR225

That was very nice.  Hope you can get over the pain.

your wife

Probably not next week, maybe next year, maybe in 5 years.  No way anyone can say.  But sooner or later it does happen for most people.

When it does happen, don't fight it.  Hanging on to misery would be a poor memorial to the woman you loved, and more importantly, who loved you.

LOW -   I guess I had not read enough of your posts to realize that you lost your wife. I wish I had words of wisdom to share, but I do not.  I am not sure I completely agree with the sentiments of some of the others on this thread.  I think it is likely that the memory of the love you had and lost will always be better than your anticipation of the future.  I also would not expect your grief to diminish with time - it will become a little more tolerable perhaps - but I don't think it will extinguish.  The anguish of a love taken by death is a terrible & wonderful conflicted emotion.  Grief can bring unbearable pain at times, but it also bonds you to the person you lost and the love you shared in a way that I do not have the words to fully express.  I think it would be even more unbearable to completely lose that grief if you also risked losing the memories of your love and your life together.  Being able to express your feelings the way you do in your poem is a great gift.  I hope it helps you ease the pain of your loss.  It is a beautiful gift to share with others.  Thank you for the beautiful poem.

"Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion."
Dylan Thomas

I don't know what I'd do.  So sorry that happened to you.

Peace and strength,

Jacksonlips

Thanks for sharing your poem here on this board.  I was certainly moved by your thoughtful words.  I haven't posted here in quite some time but your words made me want to contribute.

Coincidentally, I lost my father on June 5, 2001.  Today he has been dead for 2 years.  He also died of cancer similar to your wife if I'm reading correctly into your words.

Now, in no way am I comparing the love of a wife to the love of a parent ; they're certainly different.  

I only know that I was extremely close to my father and losing him was a pain I've never felt.  Its a pain I continue to feel.  The only positive thing I can say after 2 years is that the pain has moved to just below the surface and allowed me to function on a daily basis.

My mother on the other hand has not managed as well.  She was married to my dad for over 40 years and his loss has incapacitated her to a great extent.  She's in constant therapy which seems to help her cope.

I really don't have any answers to help you lessen your pain.  I can only relate my experience and let you know that you're not alone in your loss.