Shitty black ass”

I don't recall her name but she spent the entire time talking nonsense and chatting with her birds. If anyone can find it I think most will agree it's the funniest review ever.

This one
http://www.theeroticreview.com/account_manager/viewReview.asp?ID=1436007
got some interesting PMs (guys who also experienced the weird barking noises). I was talking to the booker at the agency afterwards and I had her in stitches with some of the other details. I was comp'ed 50% (agency portion, not hostess's portion) on my next visit (with a different hostess).  
.
I think my best reviews are the ones that never made it past moderator review.

There is one lady who has since long retired who was also a stand up comic... think a modern very blue raunchy version of Mrs. Maisel but actually funny (season 3 sucked, ya'll!).  She openly talked about her sex work in her act.  I went to her shows after meeting her for a double date.  She was HILARIOUS.  We became good friends and she talked affectionately about her blonde co-ed doubles partner.  I sounded like a total bimbo but I didn't care... I'm a performer so I get it.

 
She use to read the reviews and the bird lady totally ended up as a bit in her act.  She might still be doing it.  She basically acts out the review.  I didn't believe it was real until I searched for it and read it.  To this day, I think that reviewer was way too kind.  I mean freaking BIRDS?!?!  He wants to lay you, not for you to lay an egg.

 
Perhaps that's what is meant by the expression 'A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush'?  

 
I'm not always a fan of reviews but this is exactly why they exist.  To warn you of some crazy wacko sh!t about to go down.  

 
I have a few odd ones myself... one that maps out my performance like a ballet with lots of dance innuendos. Cute, but confusing... was I good lay or what? I appreciate the effort and the artistry but sometimes a guy just wants to know if I'm hot, look like my photos, and actually do all the fun things mentioned.  

 
I do wonder if that bird situation counts as a fetish.  Was it technically bestiality?  If that reviewer is out there I would love to hear his perspective years later.  I hope he wasn't traumatized. He should get some sort of special reviewer award for going through that date and then writing about it.

Best, Alex