Hello all,

I am new to the hobby, and have found TER a very informative and helpful resource. However, I have conflicting feelings about writing my reviews. My general concept about this hobby is that, by definition, is an intimate, private and discrete activity. Growing up I had many girlfriends, but I always followed the old rule of "gentlemen don't kiss and tell". Now that I want to participate and contribute to this forum for the benefit of the community at large, I feel that I am betraying the trust of the ladies who provide me the pleasure of their company.

Am I wrong to feel this way? How do you ladies feel about hobbyist's reviews? Do you even read them?

Thanks.

If a gal doesn't want to have a review done-she will let you know...reviews are one of the free advertising forms available-just like an unspoken referral !!!

that is the primary reason it exists and the ladies rely on it to promote their biz.

....and if weren't for us gentle-people writing reviews it would be a site of primarily ads and us yabbering here on the  

I don't know about you, but that would be pretty useless in determining who to spend my hard earned money on!

 

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Welcome to the hobby.  Participate wisely and keep it classy and you will have a rewarding experience.

Keep in mind the hobby is part of the free market economy.  Some participate as service providers while others participate as consumers.  The service providers see reviews as part of their marketing strategy.  In the hobby, reputation is the coin of the realm.  Consumers depend on reviews to identify quality service providers and make efficient economic choices.

Do you feel guilty when you review a restaurant or any other provider of services within the economy?  Probably not.

Of course, there are classy and crude review styles.  To each their own.  There are some very creative fellows writing reviews.  Review content often tells you as much about the reviewer as the provider.

My advice is to use TER to enhance your hobby experience, contribute to TER to give back and support the hobbying community, and keep your reviews classy and respectful just like I'm sure you are associating with all the wonderful ladies.

Best wishes,

PEACE

Yes, of course I get it, this review site has been very useful to me, and for that reason I write my reviews as close to the truth as possible.  
I just wanted to get the ladies' point of view on the mater so I can clear mi conscience from my mantra of "don't tell".

Excellent point and very good advice, thank you!

Although the reviews seem to take precedence over the actual experience... On both accounts.

END OF MESSAGE

So you're a "gentleman" who just happens to ban hookers?

its like going into a strip club and force girls to wear clothes while dancing.... pointless :

Maybe this hobby isn't for you.  

There are other things on this site, such as ads. I don't really use reviews to determine my selection, perhaps because I will settle for the ladies who are willing to see me. Mostly good experiences, it's YMMV anyhow... so I don't cruise through the reviews.

Please don't let me be misunderstood; I don't ban anything or anyone. I love the ladies! Hence the "hobby" part.  

It's just difficult for me to come to terms with breaking away from the "don't tell" part.

END OF MESSAGE

... and perhaps the site's primary marketing strategy. Although TER markets itself as an adult entertainment site, which it is. Where else are people going to talk about TER, other than TER?... There is a lot of that from time to time.

Lol The whole "gentleman" aspect of this hobby cracks me up.
I am nowhere near a gentlewoman, and never claimed to be one.
We are mongers, pure & simple.

Wear the moniker proudly, people!

 

That's my next tattoo!!! Now, just to find some open space...

What is your definition of a monger?  

When I hear the term(and not in the sense of the word found in the dictionary, as that term could mean the word pimp) I'm not judging pimps, as this question doesn't relate to pimps.  

When I hear the moniker "whore monger" I think it means you fuck women, whilst slapping them around. Which is fine for consenting adults to do.  

However not every sexworker accepts such a request. Do you still consider yourself a "whore monger" if and when you are with a woman who does not play that roughly?...

What is your definition of a monger?

If you are concerned about betraying the trust of the ladies I would simply ask them if they would like to be reviewed. Most providers would welcome a review , but some providers prefer to stay under the radar and do not welcome reviews.

GaG's picture kept popping up when I Google it.

I don't know what GaG's picture looks like. I doubt if every monger looks like GaG, and every review doesn't fit GaG's profile does he/she?

...is simply someone who whole heartedly enjoys and partakes often of the offerings of sex workers.
In my case I enjoy both escorts and strippers., but to each their own.
It doesn't in any way involve violence of any kind, unless so agreed upon in advance by all parties involved.
It also does not involve pimping in any way, shape or form.

Good point, thanks.

You must be really bored today to be trying to make sense of whatever blather is coming from Senor TSTTTs keyboard today.

END OF MESSAGE

Now he is simply TSTTT.  

and yes, I agree with your definition of monger. We are sort of like hobbyists but without all the PC hangups.  

and BTW speaking of pimps, one of FatVerns previous handles was Pimpathy, which gives you a bit of an insight to his character, or the lack thereof.

In case you hadn't noticed, the name of this site is the "The Erotic Review." You are expected to kiss, fuck, suck and then tell.

Great response...

Why can't a monger also be a gentlemen inversely why can't a gentlemen be a monger.

I know it doesn't involve pimping, the  dictionary version of the word would imply that it does. I implied that I wasn't using the word as referenced in the dictionary... "a dealer in or trade of"

I wanted to be clear in DURHAMDREW's use of the word.

"bigvern" which was changed to "no_email" good thing my hobby email wasn't flipped if I used it as my contact email, talk about petty. lol  

"Pimpathy"

"johnyComeAlready"  and my one alias "Julio_Rapier"  

Now I use this one "FatVern" I may have had more that I can't remember. Who needs character or the lack there of on a fuckboard?

Just look at me, almost a dozen years here and NO RESPECT. lol

Review or don't review, it's your choice, but here is a good rule of thumb that many considerate reviewers use. If you are happy with the session and pleased with the lady, there is nothing wrong with asking her is she wants you to write a review and then respect her wishes. Some women will love for you to write a review as favorable reviews are usually good for business. Other women, for reasons of their own would prefer for you not to write a review and if you like the woman I believe you should respect her wishes. OTOH, if she gives you lousy service, or if for any reason you feel cheated or mislead, by all mean write the review and her opinion be damned. You don't owe a liar or a cheat any consideration.

BTW I have never written a review in all the years I have been here and I have every bit as much credibility as guys with hundreds of reviews and I have no problems passing screening, so you don't absolutely have to write reviews to be accepted here.

"Why can't a monger also be a gentlemen inversely why can't a gentlemen be a monger"

My retort on the whole stupid "gentleman" thing was more tongue-in-cheek than anything else. And although I said that I am not a gentlewoman, I really am...in RL as well as in this hobby world. I have seen the term "gentlemen's club" used so much by seedy stripclubs in a lame attempt to exude an upscale appeal (and failing miserably) that it has become a joke word here to me more than anything else.

Just because a review sites exist, is everyone expected to comply by this rule?

Seems like such an obligation if I'm required to share every encounter good/bad with anyone who has an internet connection.

I don't usually like the play by play reviews but if there is something that a provider does well or deserves recognition for..then why not give credit? There are personal things that you can omit from a review but overall I'd like for hobbiest to know what quality of service to expect when coming to see me. I don't know about you, but spending a few hundred bucks on something you'll regret would make me soooo upset.  

other than that...it turns me on to read how much someone enjoyed my mouth or touch. If it so happens that someone doesn't enjoy me as much as I would want them to, at least that not so great review will keep me trying harder next time

Thank you GaGambler, I appreciate your advice. I am still a noob to the hobby, and your thoughts make perfect sense.

That can be expected, I think your issue lies with seedy stripclubs, not vocabulary usage.  

Not in this particular post I do take issue in the use of the word monger to describe myself. Mainly due to the definition of the word. The word implies some one who facilitates the procurement of sexworkers. I realize legalize can dictate our usage of certain words(another issue).

This is why I hate asking for a review..
You have a great time with someone then give them homework! Lol I say leave a review when you're absolutely inspired to do so...if it was super awesome or absolutely horrendous.

It's your 'Hobby" enjoy it the way you want to!

Thank you Savannah, I appreciate your comment about not liking "play by play" reviews, I took note and probably have to work on improving that. I figure that most people just want to know the bottom line of the overall experience, and can't care less about the small details. You are right in saying that if something was particularly well done, it deserves full credit and proper mention.  

By the way mami, I saw your web page and you are absolutely gorgeous, preciosa!  
(I have a new line in my bucket list  

I would most likely respect the ladies request BUT

It's my "Hobby" and I can do what I want to.

If it was a bad experience and she asked me not to review.

I would write the review!Just sayin

Right on!

...that if you don't give enough details  (just the "bottom line"), the review will be rejected. TER has a certain requirement when it comes to review content. There is no specific guideline other than any review that isn't detailed enough in its descriptions stands a good chance of being booted.

I agree. It is not all that easy to find the right balance of being concise and complete without adding too much chaff.

to contribute to help other guys find the lady of their dreams, at least the hourly dreams.

As long as you don't put things in the review that are not true or might be listed as a no-no on the provider's website but she let you do X, then all is good. Also, don't tell if she gave you lots of OTC time.

Perhaps clients could whitelist providers. I know that's what reviews are for, but when they don't get approved I would just say fuck it, and forget about trying to write the review. The whitelisting could be used to say yes the provider is real, a fair representation of what she advertised, and I didn't get arrested while visiting.  I think p411 has the OK system for this.

Necessary or not, all the screening and reviewing take away from the overall experience for me.

I don't mind writing a review for someone the thing I don't care for is going into all the detail of the actual encounter that is preferred here. I'm fairly new here as well (about a year in). I usually let the ladies tell me if they want a review or not. If I have seen then several times I may ask if it would be helpful for me to put something together if the topic hasn't already come up. For the most part though I have really only seen ladies that are already well reviewed or don't even partake in TER. Generally the ladies will say a review is not needed or request not to have a review at all. If asked I will put something together though.  

Bottom line is it is a personal thing. Reviews are for consumer knowledge, I agree. If you feel something needs to be said then do so. If you can't add to anything that was recently said then that's your call.

Just as soon as I write you off as a moron, you make a few posts in a row that make perfect sense.

There is one small error in what you said. the P411 system of okays is for the women to okay the guys, not the other way around. That aside I agree with your overall premise that the whole review/screening process, while being necessary in a country like ours where P4P is illegal, but contrary to what many of the 'hobbyists' believe, I too think it takes away from the fun of simply having sex with a bunch of hot women.

I have never written a review here, but if there were a way to simply give an okay to a woman like you suggest, without having to write a novelette better suited to "letters to Penthouse" I would happily contribute to the common good.

Remember that guy that use to come on here demanding respect? Where's the consistency? lol

Unfortunately, I have to agree with you on this one. Sometimes I think ladies are only out there working to receive reviews, and not to earn a living. Which seems to be counterproductive in the long run.  

Speaking of reviews and popular reviewers are some of these guys actually paying the ladies they see? I wouldn't(tastes are subjective) but those reviews I give no credit, as I think they are just giving the review for some kind of compensation.

but this world is topsy-turvy.  

We are here to enjoy each other's pleasures for a fee, not to build real life relationships.  

To that end, solid reviews that get into nitty-gritty details are a plus for both providers and clients

END OF MESSAGE

expierence with the same girl wether good or bad.  

A girl you saw might be your best time. While another guy might have seen the same girl might say that was the worst.

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of the boards given advice, participated in epic trainwrecks, the list is endless. You more than make up for not writing reviews.  And then there was the whole "rope" thing!

Steph xoxo

..the best thing you can do for her is give her a good review. IF she was sub par and you feel bad about hurting her feelings then just dont write a review.

In ways I agree with you, especially if I really enjoyed the provider, I want to keep it to myself.

However, when a provider requests that I submit a review, under TER no. 10 submit a review, TER wants you to follow the below format (I isolated it here in two parts both a and b):

(a)Both the General and Juicy Details section have been set up to house elaborate descriptions of the encounter. The General Details section should contain generalized, broader comments about the provider and your experience. At this point, do not mention specific sexual acts or price; just give the members a tease.  

(b) The Juicy Details section should be used to describe the provider, the experience, and whether or not you enjoyed it in graphic emotional and sexual terms. Don’t make this space a recap of the General section. Instead, go for a blow-by-blow tell-all of your session with the provider from your own unique point of view. Remember, your opinion matters! Both the General and Juicy details should be at least four lines long or (preferably) longer.

If you follow it (providing the other requirements are met in 1-9 and 11-15) then your review will be posted.

But beyond the graphic details, how do you write? Are you creative and can you make it interesting? Some of the better writers can take a mundane subject and make it a good read. Some of the best writers know enough about word usage to say it in such a way to get the message across. As TER wants you to talk about the erotic performance (need I say sex act? Lol), have fun with the English language and include the five senses: sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. Perhaps make your story more compelling by including metaphor, simile or alliteration. (As far as myself, I enjoy reading a good story and there are some pretty good writers here) Zoom in on a detail to magnify it, or zoom out to create distance and disconnect, if it effectively conveys your thoughts. When in doubt, resort to the acronyms: DFK BBBJ, CG to keep it simple; but consider taking one of those acronyms and link it to a detail to make it unique.

Also consider talking about some of the other things that may matter, like the environment, safety, cleanliness to inform the reader.  

As a newbie myself (although I’ve been reading TER off and on for several years) I think it’s helpful to summarized in a paragraph as best as you can,  her looks, dress, and how she does athletically to touchy/feely and massage, etc. (The what she does is already listed in the TER questionnaire that you filled out.) This info is for the reader who wants to get a sense of her overall abilities. It also cuts to the chase for the reader that can care less about your story and informs the provider what she may or may not have done effectively to accommodate her customer.  

Also be honest, if you must include a negative perspective, put it a sentence or another paragraph and be specific if not tactful. Like, the room smelled of cigarettes, for example. It will tell whether if it is acceptable or not to certain customers. She had a pretty face but her teeth needed work. Would you want to DFK with her? (Note: Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to negativity, but as a client if you’re uncomfortable about writing a review to a less than worthwhile session, then, 1. You’re the one spending your money and taking the loss or disappointment?  2. What are the reviews for if they don’t inform others to help them along in making an informed choice, not to mention the providers’ benefit by the TER exposure?

OTOH, as far as the emotional, (whether you connected with the provider or not, may be highly subjective and personal to the reviewer). It is also imperfect to compare what a more seasoned hobbyist would consider good to exceptional to a less seasoned one. Since people come in different shapes, sizes, ages, capabilities and personalities, I even wonder if two seasoned hobbyist would see things considerably the same? (Probably not.) Go back to the above (b)…says that the experience is left up to the enjoyment of the reviewer—so why complicate his review with criticism if it doesn’t work out for you? However, there are some commonalities that resonate and show consistency from review to review. I think it tells people something of value to help along with choice and it also helps the provider get more business, hence more reviews. However, when in doubt as a reviewer and how to write it, resort to the YMMV. Keep it simple. (Just some ideas and suggestions.) There are things I don’t know, but I have found some informative threads and posts on this board, including what  providers like and don’t like in a client. It’s worthwhile to pay attention to their thoughts and ideas, too.

 
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i get turned on reading my own reviews as well)

WOW! Very well elaborated and detailed piece of advise.  

When I write my experiences (reviews), I try to convey the true atmosphere, environment and sensations that recreate the erotic landscape of the moment. Sometime it can become too lengthy; perhaps the executive summary should be written at the beginning, followed by the more detailed elaboration of the scene in subsequent paragraphs.  

Thank you Octavia,
I hope to have the chance of one day turning you on reminiscing about our encounter.

Smart ideal.Keep reviews short and sweet.Write in review safe and clean.look like pic or problems you had.Thank you !

You have one review and you are now an expert giving advice on how to write reviews? It would be one thing if you and the OP were seeking the advice of more experienced hobbyists (which should be on the Newbie Board anyway), but you are actually passing judgment on a TER system that is doing exactly what it was designed to do. This business of not kissing and telling is some juvenile, civvie shit that has no place in P4P.

Yes, I read them.  Sometimes they make me blush...sometimes they make me wet and juicy remembering the time and reading it through another person's private thoughts.  Overall I love them and they certainly help with encouraging safety for you and me.  

When I first started on this site, I was so embarrassed by the reviews.   I felt like I was back in high school being told on to some degree.  However I knew that the process of reviews were supposed to help my credibility and help you find me.   It also helps to filter out hobbiests who are looking for a particular experience and may not find that with me...that lessened those awkward convos about menus/services etc.  I am not Barbie perfect but via my reviews it gave the opening that that is not so bad...age appropriate pretty and sensual is an allure all by itself.   The reviews fortified that.  

Negatives::: they are filtered through one person's experience.  What the vibe takes you to with one person does not necessarily take you with another.  If a man for instance is not at the hygiene level I expect...I am not at my sexiest and will not take one for the team and proceed to the Menu offered in previous reviews.   I am polite and professional but will respectfully decline.  If that is in the reviews, I then have to answer a variety of questions related to that.  Etc etc

Hello Caressa,

Thank you very much for your candor. It's true that reviews create certain level of expectations about a person, and that every encounter is different, even between the same two people. The excitement of the first meet cannot be recreated, there is only one chance for first times.

but I am proof it is possible. lol

You: “You have one review and you are now an expert giving advice on how to write reviews? “
Me: Where did I state that I was an expert?

You: “It would be one thing if you and the OP were seeking the advice of more experienced hobbyists (which should be on the Newbie Board anyway), but you are actually passing judgment on a TER system that is doing exactly what it was designed to do.”  

Me: I just quoted verbatim from the TER guidelines #10 (TER’s judgment) and you did not even acknowledge it.

As far as you saying the post should be on the Newbie board; did you read what I wrote? However, what does Newbie board have to do with the content and ideas I put out? Maybe what I wrote and alluded to went above your head? (BTW: Your alias shows no written reviews.)

You: This business of not kissing and telling is some juvenile, civvie shit that has no place in P4P.  

Me: Not kissing and telling about a civvie, understandable; Not kissing and telling about a provider; also, understandable; Not kissing and telling about a provider on TER to advertise service, not acceptable. (Go back to guideline 10 in my post.)

Also, when you say “juvinille and civvies shit,” why how troll like of you

Thanks!  

I wrote three reviews and got two accepted. One review superseded my first review as an update, and the other review that I submitted was rejected due to the provider not using her name in her recent ads. Hence, one review to my name.

I too write more and then have to edit. I do like the idea that the “executive summary” (as you say) placed at the beginning can help those who skim

mmmmmm yummy  

First of all, as others have mentioned you can ask if someone wants a review - I always ask a day or so after a session, if whoever I was with would like a review.  If not, I just don't write one.

Often though, the women I see notice that I write reviews and ask me after the fun time is over if I would write one!  I try to write for all that ask, though sometimes it slips my mind.

But that's beside the main point I wanted to make, which is that there's a very good reason to have descriptive reviews - because they are an indicator of what you do in a session, and what you like to do.  That is helpful for women you are planning to see, the last person I saw mentioned reading a number of my reviews beforehand and I think factored into the session... I'm pretty sure it also made er more comfortable from the outset, as she said it kind of turned her on.

So writing the reviews helps everyone as long as both sides agree to there being a review.

On a side note I almost wish reviews of providers could be like AirBnB, where both sides left reviews and nothing was visible until both had been submitted.  It would be great to hear the providers side of a session... and then you could see what the deviation was between he said/she said!