a guy I had seen that was around my age at a club. We each nodded to one another but that was that.
Another time, I went out with a hobbyist to a bar to watch his friend's band play. Coincidentally, my best friend and two of my other girlfriends were there. I nearly died. I told him quickly to call me by an old nickname (so it wasn't suspicious to my friends) and we hung with them for a bit before going back to his place. It turned into a crazy party and no one noticed when I snuck away with him upstairs for a quickie and one of my friends ended up with one of his friends in the band in another room. lol. He had a blast, but it could've easily blown up in my face. He had fun and told all his buddies to contact me, although that blew up in his face because a month later, his fiancee got ahold of me and tried to get me to admit that we had been seeing each other behind her back. She had the phone records in front of her. I told her this was a new phone, so I had no idea who she was talking about. Dummy had saved my name in his phone so she knew he was lying.
Katie
Have any of the provides or customers ever met each other away from the hobby accidentally? I'm not talking about a date but for example, at the super market, school functions, or other social events. I had this happen to me a few years ago when my SO was with me, and it was handled very well by both me and the lady in question. I was just curious if this has happened to others and how they handled the situation.
Yes and I dumped a client for that reason. It was during the food festival in LA. He came up to me and a girlfriend who had no idea what was going on, and then he yelled, Hiiii, like a psycho, and then screamed to me that he'd know my voice anywhere. And then he kissed me on the cheek! And this is someone I'd never go out with in a zillion years in my private life. My girlfriend looked seriously shocked, I didn't know what to say and it got really weird. I told her some lame lie but I could tell she didn't believe me. She didn't know what to think and she never brought it up again. The next time he called me, I told him that I was really pissed and that I'd never see him again. And I didn't. So the deal is, DO NOT WALK UP TO A PROVIDER AND SAY STUFF EVER! JUST DON'T! And I wouldn't talk to a client outside work, much less say hi to him. Even if there wasn't anyone around. This is all private and it should stay that way. And if clients don't get it, then they get axed. Simple as that.
Yes, I had that happen to me too. I was in the dealership getting my car serviced. I looked up, because you can kind of tell when someone is staring holes in you. And there he was saying hi, Heidi. O.K. I was standing in front of my service techinician, which I have known for years. He had a very puzzled look on his face, to say the least. I wonder if it ever dawned on him, that just mabey that wasn't my real name. Sheeeesh!!!!!! Talking about being discreet????
I know most of the ladies real names, which would eliminate that part of the stupid-fest, but even so, my move would be a simple smile...the kind you'd give to a person you pass, to be polite. Assuming we were both alone, I'd certainly say hello, but nothing to indicate to the outside world how we knew each other.
I'm often amazed at how open some folks are about the hobby out in public. I don't see anything wrong with what we're doing, but I do realize that others have a different view.
And I'll very discreetly say (without your name of course) "Would you like to pet my birdie!"
But then again, we may already be in business at a booth together! And my wife will be most puzzled everytime you call me Goldenbear!
You, I would never mind running in to!! Any day of the week! Heidi xxoo
Again,
No guy should do this, its boldface WRONG. Your reasons are completely valid, sorry that happened. Discretion should certainly be a factor, but honestly its a risk you take. Risk/reward. You just need some lines that get you out of this easily pre-memorized, or even pull the person aside.
-m
Let me start off by saying... I think your right about it should be kept private. I wouldn't want a provider coming up and recognizing me, for example in front of a GF, fiancee, or wife.. That being said..this isn't the same.
IMO your kind of an idiot for being so condascending. But at the same time I understand your argument. To me though, if you are that f'in repulsed by someone send them out the door.I mean if you are that scared about them running into you ,maybe you should send them packing and NOT provide for them -- no cash for you.
If a girl is this repulsed by me, please tell me to drive away (I'll gladly do so..), and I'll be happy to leave a small tip and bounce the f*** out (you win!..freee money!!). And not burden you with my dollars and manhood.
Don't provide, id rather that than you make me feel like a douche in a public situation. You were sure happy to take this dude's cash no?
Are you so embarassed by your side proffesion that oh NO your 'girlfriend' saw you with someone who was hidious to you. Are you this shallow? (I mean what maybe the hot guy/girl? won't marry you now?) I mean this is really some high school sh** honestly. Just play it off.
How about you get a real job then? I'm not saying he's NOT out of line,I think he should have not approached..HE WAS WRONG. but remmeber in your profession there is going to be socially awkward males doing things such as this (for the record I'd never do this in 1 Million years..), and it's a part of the biz.
I must say I don't feel sorry for you why not give him a smile and a hug and say good to see you, play him off as an old friend who can't let go.. who cares what your 'girlfriend' thinks... maybe he was the 'friend' who could never get in your pants, she'd understand that. Girls do this all the time with 'male friends'...(oh kim (example) this was an old friend from high school , he always wanted me, he's so silly.. blah blah blah blah..I mean really.) It's not like this dude said REMEMBER WHEN WE F**** AND I PAID FOR IT...
IF you don't want this risk, go get a college degree and work or something. Christ. I'm sorry this pisses me off. And, always leaves me wondering when I hook up with providers. That's like a porn star getting mad she gets recognized and asked for an autograph by poindexter on the street, s*** happens, from what I've heard I'd rather get 300 root canals, then hire you as a provider.
Sorry this is lame. I mean no disrespect, but marry rich, or get a job. It's people like you that make me weary of the escape that providers' should provide, as I respect all of them to a godly extent, It's still fee-for-service..and there are plenty of opportunities for attractive women outside of this proffesion if your so ashamed..Your not fighting my case for the true disgust that women have with their clients, as I've recently experienced, and of course in my case Just feel I wasted money, and would never approach her on the street, in fact the opposite.
-m
Never ran into a provider in such fasion, but I have run into strippers that I knew in supermarkets and malls. Reactions were mixed: the run-in at the mall (hot blonde that I had lap danced with a few times) was met coolly, while the supermarket run-in (two sisters that worked as both barmaids and dancers at the same club) was met with friendly greetings and conversation at the check-out. I was alone both times, and there appeared to be no others with ladies at the time. There was also the time last summer where I was walking to a dinner date in NYC where a woman walking in front of me appeared to be a provider that I had met at previous M&G's, but never had a session with. I did not call attention to myself, and it's likely she would not have remembered me in any event, presuming I was correct in identifying her in the first place...
Since I was with another provider when I bumped into this particular provider.
It turns out this provider we bumped into was once the doubles partner of the provider I was with, and that is how I came to know her. The provider I was with was somewhat (but not overly) jealous of the fact that I saw the other provider by herself now and not as a couple as we used to meet. The relationship between the two had become estranged because of this.
Nevertheless, it was an awkward moment for all three of us and being out on Nantucket Island didn't make things any less so.
In my case, we were at a concert and the provider I was seeing walked in and was seated in the row directly in front of us. When we saw each other, nothing was said, we just looked at each other with a knowing look. We had several good laughs about this the next time we met. Turns out she was with her brother who had no idea about her life style and of course me being with my SO, she certainly had no idea. IMO, discretion would certainly be the way to go if and when this happens.
Ive seen several of my clients out at various different places. Ive always continued doing what I was doing..talking to someone else, moving through the crowd, etc. and just pull it off as if I would with anyone else..a little smile and look away. I never walk up to anyone or yell their name across the room and thankfully Ive never had anyone else do that to me. Most of the time acknolwedgement is made and we both carry on as if we never saw one another.
I was on an overnight with a client once and as we stood in line to get into this nightclub (we were next to enter so we were right up front) I look up and see another client of mine (and his wife) walking straight towards me as they were leaving...it was SO funny because he has his wife's arm, he looks up and see's me and stops dead in his tracks, serious deer in headlights, grabs his wife and bolts the other direction...I can hear the SO saying.."honey...I thought we were leaving.."..lol Not sure where they went but he called the next day and we both laughed about it...I did tell him he needs to work on his ability to be a little more subtle next time...LOL
NOW I have been out with another provider before and I told her that the place we were going NOONE knows me as Sophie...told her to be sure and call me by my real name....ALL night long I could hear this .."Sophie...Sophie..Sophie"...a freind of mine asked me.."Is she calling you Susie"?? I told him I must remind her of a freind named Susie or something...I dont know". Safe to say....we never went anywhere together again!
a guy I had seen that was around my age at a club. We each nodded to one another but that was that.
Another time, I went out with a hobbyist to a bar to watch his friend's band play. Coincidentally, my best friend and two of my other girlfriends were there. I nearly died. I told him quickly to call me by an old nickname (so it wasn't suspicious to my friends) and we hung with them for a bit before going back to his place. It turned into a crazy party and no one noticed when I snuck away with him upstairs for a quickie and one of my friends ended up with one of his friends in the band in another room. lol. He had a blast, but it could've easily blown up in my face. He had fun and told all his buddies to contact me, although that blew up in his face because a month later, his fiancee got ahold of me and tried to get me to admit that we had been seeing each other behind her back. She had the phone records in front of her. I told her this was a new phone, so I had no idea who she was talking about. Dummy had saved my name in his phone so she knew he was lying.
Katie
Yeah well,
I never leave my office and go to clubs so maybe this helps. Why would anyone do this really? it's just dumb.
-m
Madison is quite small so being low-key is REAL key.
The first time was at one of the local hospitals; visiting my aunt after a bad reaction to chemo, I went downstairs to the cafeteria and while off to the side handling my condiments, (as another lady stated) someone was holding a Superman-like gaze kitty-corner from. This anesthesiologist comes up to me and places his arm around my waist.
The look I gave him must've freaked him out, he backs up and leaves without a sound. Soon after my older brother comes up and looks at me and says the doctors are kinda "to" friendly for me..
The 2nd time I was at the gym and he says. "Hey! Veronica! How are ya'?! People who knew me looked at me and I shrugged it off.
Numero three: Swimming with my brothers on Condando Beach, P.R. a couple I'd seen some time ago must have been watching me from afar because the wife came over nonchalantly and said hello. THAT one wasn't so bad.
But damn!
-- Modified on 12/18/2007 4:43:46 PM
Ran into a client at a restaurant, I pretended I didn't know him- the look on his face was priceless...he was sh* bricks!
Also, I was working in an office when the new admin assist showed up...it was a provider I
used to do doubles with.
Shane
A few years back. It happened with a woman who at that time was one of the most popular and well reviewed providers in Las Vegas. In addition to being client/provider, we had become reasonably good friends. I had done her first web site, knew her real name, and had even been over to her place and met her kids before, so it wasn't any big deal accidently meeting her in public.
It was at the Las Vegas airport. We were both in the Southwest Airlines check in line. I was with my daughter (who was about 9 at the time). I noticed she was alone, so I said hi, and she said hi back, and we chit chatted for a bit. I introduced her to my daughter (no big deal because I am divorced). She said she was on her way to Los Angeles on a "business trip." That was it, we were both happy to see each other.
Now, had she (or any other provider I might know) been with someone else, it would be a different story. In such a case I would smile at her and wait for her to say something first. If she were to quietly ignore me as if I were a complete stranger, I would understand.
I have to say I read all these messages and some were quite interesting to say the least. Oh I am sooo waiting for this to happen to me in public since I am pretty well known in the area. However, I have had it happen twice online. One was a man I use to spend time with a few years ago, he saw my ad on CL and emailed me, I tried to ignore him even tho I didnt want to as I didnt want to mix personal with business. However, I have since seen him again-this time in a business fashion. The other he doesnt realize yet he knows me- he emailed me in response to my ad with a pic and I sure do recognize the man I went out on one date with. We will see if he ever wants an appt and I am sure his mind will be blown away to see who it really is. For these reasons though this is why I chose not to show my face in my pics, just in case.
-- Modified on 12/18/2007 4:36:32 PM
But I live in NYC. You could live here your whole life and never accidentally run into a relative or best friend.
I would hope that if it happened, we would both act as if we didn't know each other - maybe exchange a sly glance if possible.
In the event that we were both alone, I would still wait for her to initiate contact rather than presume she has any interest in interacting with me in civvie life.