Here goes:

When I first hobby, I did not know about TER or anything. I saw an ad on back-page and called her for an app in 2hrs. I was using a friend's apt in a high rise elevator building. When she arrived, she called me on the cell to come down and meet her outside the building. I said no ( thinking it might be L/E ). I ask her to come up to the 6th floor & then I will tell her the apt # ( because the apt is actually facing the elevator. This way I can see through the peep hole- if she is alone. ) She refuses to come up. We finally agreed to meet each other half-way. She would walk to the frt door outside and look through the glass door and I would come down to the lobby and see through the frt door as well. So we are both standing there alone and I open the lobby door and said " Hi, you can come in ". We got in the elevator and she ask me if I was a cop. I said no, I said-   are you a cop? she said no. She then said "prove it to me-show me something. I did not know what is a L/E check. LOL  

So I lifted my shirt and show her my-belly button and she did the same. Can you imagine if the elevator door open and someone saw us! Anyway we got to the apt and sat down on the couch ( mind you this is totally not the girl in the ad, the ad girl has beautiful face, great figure, this one is just average looking face and kind of a stick figure the only thing is that she has blonde hair like the ad girl ). I said "you are not the girl in the ad..." She answered " Are you disappointed? " She then ask " Are you sure you are not a cop? - Why is it that you keep looking at the door? " To which I answered I am not a cop, but if you are uncomfortable, you should leave. She then got up and left and I saw her through the peep hole that she took the stairs down ( did not even wait for the elevator ). Looking back now, this whole thing was so wrong on so many levels...LOL...I can laugh about it now, but that was not funny at all at the time. THANK GOD FOR TER, P411, Date-Check, etc...Let's go guys and gals, what do you have???

my funniest encounter had to be with the great, late, and lamented Miki the MILF, who was, believe it or not, actually a stand-up comic in NYC as well as an escort.

She had me in stitches for much of the session

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Read my last review. Lol.
It's all in good fun! 😇

Not funny or weird.  Sexy momma.

She told me she liked you.  I was so proud.

That night? She showed her shit on Times Square! Bad ass girl I'm proud to know.
But she didn't spit my spunk into my mouth... Although I'd probably let her.... Yuck!
I'd puke!

and she pooped on it.

Is with something shoved up his ass..
So be careful. It may be my dick one day
Keep it up big boy

There were several funny moments that evening...it was Octavia that opened the door.   Then, when I was hitting the buffet tables, a provider I had tried and failed to hear back from was introducing herself, and had no clue.  She and another lady from Calif. went at it in b/r later...quite the show!  But the dude across the street in his hotel room had a birds-eye view, and he noticed.  When the ladies were informed after several O's that they were being watched not only by us, they decided to put on a show that eventually into the dude waving to us.  LOL!

I later saw three of the ladies I met that night, all several times or more.  Not bad for a first M&G...

Actually, it was a going away party for a very well known gal, and also hosted by Octavia at a place down near the Brooklyn Bridge.  I was getting ready to leave and told the guest of honor I had to go.  She was sitting near the door of the hotel room and was fairly sloshed.  Several other party guests were around the room. The lady in question then pulled out my schlong and started sucking it, in a determined effort to get me to stay.
I also recall the time you and I were on the patio of the same room chatting with a retired provider when she asked you into the bathroom for some OTC fun.  Good times.

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Here is my review of a bachelor party I threw 19 years ago.
I was a pussy, and a coward. I let my so called friends destroy my house, and abuse a woman.
I regret every moment of it. I still see myself as a coward because I didn't have the balls to stand up to something I felt wasn't right.  
Admitting it does not make me feel better...
So there you have it.
Now you can go fuck yourself.

You can't even get your priorities in order, when you apologize.

 
Since you can't get this right. Maybe you could work on, not putting little pictures in your text, you are supposed to be a man after all

You truly are a price of shit.
I'll give you a point. You cut me.
I do appreciate your intelligence.....

Too much wine for a spinner (maybe 100 lbs max)
anyway after two bottles she gives me a bbbjnqns, which was good ,but she starts to retch.
I'm thinking the "Pineapple" think is total BS when suddenly she starts to puke purple spots from me to the bathroom
She then stands and pukes both bottles of wine into the toilet (purple splash back everywhere)
I grab a clean towel and pull out a spare toothbrush, which she declines
I settle for a bottle of cold water for her, which she chugs down.  
Then being time for her to go ... she asks for a kiss ...
I did, but no tongue (I pulled back when she tried -now, I know how non GFE providers feel LOL

she was chugging vodka when I got there at 11 am
tried to get her to stop
same thing, puked when BBBJ