He obviously just looks at eros and that's it. I told him the reasons for having refs, to check reviews, etc. but no dice. Even if he had it was confirmed to me by another lady on this board that the girl has always been known to blackmail this way. She demands real info on every single client even with a dozen refs. Maybe we will get lucky and she will bust herself by responding...yea, I sent her the link being the compassionate woman I am and all bwahahaha.

Ok, I have seen a gentleman about 3 times and have given him numerous references for other ladies...about 4 in the past month. NONE of them ever came back with anything negative to say about him. Today I get an email from his most recent reference saying she would be blacklisting him. Naturally, I ask why and she gives me no answer. I email him and he flat out says, she was about 12 years older than her photos, the hotel was not up to his standards, and he simply left without paying.

How is this a justified blacklist of his real name which she has? He has every right to not pay if he is not satisfied with what he sees..be it the hotel or the provider right? NONE of the other ladies had a problem because they were not misrepresenting themselves. She is insulted because he refused to see her and she lost money and got a bruised ego. Good thing he does not write reviews but I just told him to join TER.

Ok so I am a bitch at times, but fair is fair. In most cases, I would not continue to provide a reference for a guy who I found out was psycho, made threats, shorted providers, etc. but in this case I feel I have no right to refuse him a reference because of this incident. With me and all the other ladies, he was simply perfect.

Agreed. What your client did is NOT cause for a working girl to blacklist him. Then again, perhaps your client could have done a better job in researching the working girl and her incall locations (at the very least, asking the girl about them).

Had he asked me, I could have told him her reviews indicated she was much older than her stated age but that's really not my business to bash another provider...too much drama outside of the boards lol.

I am just worried because he is a very stand up professional, very polite, a great tipper, and now he is going to have this on his head. He didn't do a thing to her and her non-response even more confirms it.

I see the problem though...she is over 45 and he is under 30. She shows her face in her photos so no way he did not know what he was getting...said her photos were old and the guys who reviewed her were likely older as well. Ah well, stuff happens. Not my issue any more.

-- Modified on 5/2/2012 1:45:54 PM

some providers have short fuses..she did overreact in this case..on the other hand some clients can be super fussy..if everything is not to their liking they will act like an idiot..two adults can always reach some form of compromise if it is discussed intelligently..obviously this was not the case here..making rash decisions can only lead to irritation..irritation leads to contempt..once you reach that stage..there is no turning back..

telling me not to contact her again and he was blacklisted as far as she was concerned. I guess me telling her I was going to keep giving him refs must have hit a nerve, or maybe it was the photo comment ha ha. Consider the reviewer...as I always say.

This guy is in his late 20s, so just because guys her age said she was an 8 or 9 does not mean some young buck is going to also think so. He was ovbiously attracted to her photos because as I said she shows her face, and he contacted her. He said when he showed up she was "old as dirt." Too funny. We are not talking about a few hundred bucks here either, but over a grand! I would not just toss that at anyone I was not 100 percent attracted to. At those rates wtf is she doing at a mid-range hotel and did not even spring for the suite at that. I don't get it.

...assume or worry about anything they have going on.

There are always two sides to a story and you will never know exactly what happened between them, so just focus on you.

it would not have done any good. Her reviewers "for the most part" rated her as attractive. She could have had solid 10s and it would not mean HE would think she is hot. Looks are so subjective which is why I never get pissed when I get a lower score on looks. Some guy could think I am model and the next think I am dog ugly lol. You just never know, but you can't go around posting real info for that.

-- Modified on 5/2/2012 2:57:56 PM

Sounds like your client ran into the "perfect storm" of hobbying circumstances. I'm sorry that he had to experience something like this. Hopefully, he'll be able to explain away the blacklisting to any future working girls that he tries to see.

Yes, I take grade inflation into account when it comes to submitted review scores. I have to wonder if scores would be more honest if the reviews could be given anonymously, even though it runs the risk of loosing all accountability for honest reviews.

therein lies the problem..beauty is in the eye of the beholder..a lot of beholders in this hobby expect a super model every session..it simply doesnt work that way..when he walked out he insulted her..rule no 1..never ever insult any provider..if you do you will have hell to pay..he is now paying in full...

are not comfortable? That really sucks! I would not post a guy's personal info. for not finding me attractive...I am not that stuck on myself to think I am all that to begin with. If you STALK me, make threats against me, rip me off, or assault me...hell yea.

true..but you are not her..

Now, we can get back to the actual "topic" minus the stalkers. Agree with you love 100 percent. I don't care how hot any of us might think we are there is always going to be someone who does not think so. Looks once again, are subjective and you can't go around getting pissed. I know girls who almost have a heart attack if given an 8 when in reality, if it were not for old, fat dudes being so nice many would be a 2 in real life!

to be giving these girls his damn work info!! I realize some require it and I do locally as well, but the guy still has the right to pass.

Any guy who gives out his review handle before he knows what he is getting himself into is an idiot. Some ladies are psycho, plain and simple. You need to be able to write honest reviews and that is not possible if you fear reprisal. I wish people would quit giving there handle out as screening. Then reviews would be more honest.

I mean if you tell me you are scoed for instance and I see you then get a review from "andre" I am going to assume I never saw you. How can you prove you saw the provider if you review under an alias and she has no idea who you are? You can pm me, but this is something I have always thought odd. We have a right to know who is writing what to be sure it is accurate, as many times it is not. I don't mean on the looks or whatever because that is an opinion, but if some guy claims to have seen me in Texas when I have hotel reciepts from California at that time, there is a problem.

Over a g note for the date, and she's not at a 4star or better hotel, and the pictures are old.
That's chutzpah for you!

However, your guy  really was playing russian roulette without doing any ter research. I guess he's learned his lesson.

That is true. The problem is some working girls will complain to TER that they don't recognize who wrote the review and that it is fake (assuming the scores are unacceptably low to them). Then we're back to how to allow anonymous rules without foregoing accountability on the review writer's part.

their is such a thing as "Hooker Drama"...tell me it ain't so!!!

Wow. Quite a persistent stalker you have there. (Un)lucky you. Now I'm really grateful that those who don't like me here at TER have the graciousness to put me on their "Ignore" lists LOL.

Often I can prove I seen the lady for a bit after if I think there my be an issue. I sent you a PM, by the way.

Since: "With me and all the other ladies, he was simply perfect."

He showed up.  He felt misled. He left without sex and without paying.  Was he justified? Who knows?.  I haven't seen the pictures, the reviews, the lady or the hotel.

BUT outing someone's real name for that?  The basic single rule of this hobbyist and provider community is to keep secrets except when really necessary.  Even if she's gorgeous and he's a jerk, this does not qualify.

If the TER rules allow, out her stage name, so we can all give her a pass.  Not for allegedly old photos, but for putting a hobbyist's real name out there when he is not a danger to anyone, except to their ego and maybe wallet.

The providers I see want my real name to screen.  I'm not thrilled with that, but I understand it.  But if providers in large numbers pull this sort of stuff, there will a lot fewer hobbyists.

Is anyone else bothered by this?

How did he find providers if he never looks at review boards?  Maybe I missed something.  But if he's seeing ladies without having any idea of their reviews, then he's playing roulette and he's gonna end up with who knows what.

I am not saying that to be mean and trust me. I had a situation between a client and another lady and I really, really wanted to get in the middle.. but the issue is between HIM AND HER!! Don't create drama for yourself!!

I am all about reading the blacklist board and protecting each other. but just like TER you have to take into consideration the provider and her reputation and the client and his history...

There are tons of unstable providers that would destroy a guy over a NCNS. That is why it is vital to talk/PM/email some of her former/currant clients and get the information not found in her reviews. There are plenty of unstable clients too. Everyone must screen everyone and go deeper than reading a few reviews here or seeing a guy has a few OKs on a verification site. Lots of crazies out there and it only takes one to ruin a good thing.

This will prove the date happened and make her own her review. By allowing time to pass you make it harder to trace back to you if she doesn't have your review handle. After you get to know her it is fine to give it your review handle, but there are far to many psycho babes and to not be able to safely review them defeats the whole point of reviews.

... you could just write any bad reviews under your alias. Looks like you only give out good scores when screened, and trust me, many ladies will read your reviews before your meeting.  I have no problem giving out my handle. I'm not a mangina or scared of being "outed" so honesty isn't a problem for me anyway.

Totally agree on saving all communication for awhile just in case.

I assume when he said "He left without paying" that nothing intimate had transpired.

Since he's been good to you, and you continue to see him, I think your decision to continue giving positive references is sound.

I feel what he did was perfectly ethical. He was lied to and decided to leave.  Nothing wrong with that.

Hope you are doing well with the new venture.

I'm still around, no need to miss me

The blog is a lot of fun to work on.  Gives me something useful to do with all the research I'm doing anyway. Thanks for the good wishes!

Have to agree. There are always two sides. A long time ago, a client I thought was perfectly fine I later discovered had tried to strangle another provider.  Not to say that all cases are so extreme -- just a reminder that the reference system isn't entirely perfect and so-called "facts" are really a case of he-said-she-said.  Whatever really transpired none of us will ever really know.

Ultimately, you still believe he's a good client and should keep providing the reference -- that's just good sense and good business.  This other provider obviously doesn't agree, and she is also entitled to that. We all have to protect ourselves in the best way that we can.  To judge another provider's methods of safety is inconsequential -- getting real names, checking IDs, requiring a certain number of provider references, etc. are all reasonable in proportion to what the provider assesses as risk and will vary provider to provider accordingly.  Clients who don't want to submit the information won't, and will thus move on.

A blacklist from a well-known provider in addition to good references from another well-known provider would simply warrant further investigation.  His record being perfect other than this one blemish, he'll be fine.  Perhaps if he and the provider who blacklisted him have a dialog, they can come to some sort of understanding, too.  At any rate, it's a shame the situation seems to have escalated so.