I know this topic is one of the big three subjects that are taboo in the workplace etc. But this is something that really is starting to annoy me and I must get it off my chest. I recently called up a provider who has various ads on different sites and tried to set up an appointment with her. We had a very pleasent albeit brief conversation and decided on the time and place to meet. When she arrived at my hotel room however her attitude totally changed. She knocks at the door and when I answer she gives me this look like as if she is taken aback by me. I invite her in and she reluctantly does so and the first thing shes says to me is "you're black". I say, uhhh... yes I am, does this surprise you or something? She replies well you didn't sound like it over the phone and at this point she seems stand-offish. So I say to her well what does being Black sound like?(knowing fully well that of course she meant I was very articulate over the phone and spoke proper english) She snaps at me about how she doesn't want to go there with me and about how she doesn't deal with black guy's blah blah blah. So I kindly tell her to step on and she leaves. Now here's the funny part, she was black herself! What the hell is that all about? I would be interested to hear if anyone else has had an experience similar to this.

Some providers in the south limit who they will see (look at SC area).  I'm white, but I won't see those providers.  While I don't walk in their shoes, I would feel somehow that I was indirectly condoning racism.

I am also a black professional who doesn't sound or act black.  I have not seen this problem in a long time but I do remember being refuse by a NYC incall facility a long time ago.

I started a post tlike this about three months ago. Got some fairly heated debate regarding that.  You could go search it if you want while you go get some cotton balls for your ears if you know what I mean.

You can PM me too if you want.

we are all transplanted Africians.  Africa is the birthplace of the human race.  Our ancestors left Africian 50 to 60 thousand years ago and spread out over the world.

During the 70's I got a chance to visit different parts of the county and the world.  There are good people and undesirable people everywhere you go.  

This is why most of these ladies screen and ask for referrals.

I am a white male i saw a white female provider from an agency who told me she does not see black men.

I asked her what do you do if a black client shows up.
She told me she tells them sorry i just got my period 5 minutes ago and i cant see any one.

I thought well gee its a prefrence to an individual if they want to see some one of a different race but then a provider she she be equal opertunity.

But provides should not embarress a client because they are black

just because a provider doesnot want to see some one who is black or asian or whatever does not make her a recist
my .02
hogan

I'm really tired of this sounding acting black thing. Does this mean that because I'm black I have to wear baggy pants hanging down to my knees, speak slang, put a loud system in my car with large rims on my car and wear lot's of jewelry and hip hop garb.  No Absolutely not!!!! There are many different classes of people in every race and nationality but is seems like blacks are always categorized as all being loud, ignorant, unrulely, cheap, undesireable and so on. You have your trailer trash in every race, you have your middle of the road people and you have your people in the upper echelon in every race.
Now if a provider black or white doesn't want to see me then that's her loss not mine because there are plenty more that will see me and will enjoy our encounter together.
I'm also a successful, professional, articulate African American male.  It offends me that ALL BLACKS, regardless of how well we carry ourselves, how articulate we are or how much money we make are all sterotyped into one big category of a much lower class socially, financially & intellectually. When are we all going to be judged on an individual basis instead of by a color.

some things bear repeating

http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/ViewMsgBody.asp?BoardID=12&Messageid=52490

Well I suppose if it really is all about the money and the client has money, is clean and otherwise ok, then yes in my book that would make her a racist.

Hobbyist who won't see a provider because of race are racist too.

That is what the definition of racist is at least as I would interprete it.  Now whether you think a racist is a bad person or not is entirely up to you.  And to tell the truth, unless it bothers my family or myself or they are a menace to society,  I have too many other options to worry about what racist people think about me.

My 40 acres and a mule

I believe it is her right to refuse service to you or anyone else for any reason at all, but she could have been more sensitive.  I do find it odd that someone would discriminate against a member of his or her own race because your money is as good as the next guy’s.

Not long ago I saw an ad for a provider that looks (at least to me) to be bi-racial and she states she sees only Caucasian men and I recently considered seeing a traveling and very popular provider who happens to be Black and one of the questions in her screening form asks your race.      

There was an article in the news a few months ago where a dark-skinned Black waiter at a restaurant in Atlanta alleged that his light-skinned Black supervisor was discriminating against him. The article stated that the manager told him to bleach his skin and called him very derogatory names.  

To settle the suit, the company paid him $40,000.

I too am a black professional who has only been partaking of the hobby for a little over a year.  I was surprised early on when a provider in Akron, OH came to my door saw I was black, turned and left.... She was angry with me for not "telling" her I was black. Disappointed but not totally hurt by the encounter I called yet another Cleveland/Akron area provider and set up an appointment for about an hour later.  Received a call back within 10 minutes with her saying "she did not know I was black and that she did not see black clients".  Right then I knew how she got that information - her friend **** called her.  I was not hiding who I was, I was not asked and was not thinking that I needed to give that info.  I answered all the screening questions they asked and left it at that.

Now, openly provide that information up front (either on the phone or in e-mails) so there is no misunderstanding.  I want the evening to be a pleasant one for us both and not have to worry about some color BS.  Upon doing this I've only had 1 decline (in SC, home state).  

Hell, I consider it their loss not mine.

You say, "just because a provider doesnot want to see some one who is black or asian or whatever does not make her a recist".

If that doesn't make them recist(sic)then I'd like to know what the hell does? Do they have to go after them with a baseball bat?

Her "take" on the situation was that because HIV is reported to be more prevalent among blacks that she was going to reduce her chances of being exposed by not seeing blacks.  (She practiced coverage in all acts, so maybe she was just paranoid, I can't really say.)

While I don't know any other providers personally that admit that they discriminate, nor did I discriminate myself when I was dating,  I just offer this as one reason (however flawed) that I know of why one provider told me that she chose not to see blacks.

Blacks aren't immune from steroetyping.  Our society is rife with ugly imagery. It's possible that the lady was not content with herself and her own blackness on some level.

A man that I know in "civilian" life had confronted his racism and confided to me that his hatred had come from a traumatic victimizing incident at the hands of a gang of blacks.  I offer this example as he was a burly, tattoed non-white, it was an eye opener to hear that he was a formerly in fear of anyone.

I believe racism is, in it's most simple form, FEAR.  So, while it's impossible to know what this lady was afraid of, suffice it to say, something deep inside her is SCARED.

Some day, for my child's sake and for all the children of the world people won't see any of us for the color of our skin...

I myself find comfort in the education of children.  I'm lucky enough to have one of my own to mold.

Thanks for opening your hurt for our eyes.  Maybe this young lady or another like her will see herself here and make a positive change for her own sake.

Elise [email protected]

Well I took my best friend who is black to Tijuana for some fun..........when I flaged down a girl for him and told her he wanted to see her she said the price would 50% more.....when I asked why she said she had nothing against black guys it was just that they have big cocks nd sometimes they hurt.....my friend to no offense and they had a realy good time........now I don't know what the girls here think.

While I probably wouldn't see someone who "sounded black" if sounding black means using the popular slang one hears from the MTV hip hop/rap crowd. I have no problems with black clients in general. I don't see anyone who uses alot of slang or speaks in a manner that shouts "I am young and arrogant" or "hopelessy ignorant and uneducated"

I have to admit that I am a bit apprehensive when a potential client gives me a name or has an accent that I recognize as middle eastern. While I try very hard to remain open minded about them I have had so many bad experiences in the past in the business as well as in other areas of my life with them being very agressive and disrespectful. This has happened even after my not having an initial problem with them when they booked. They had seemed polite and normal but once there things changed and I was not happy with any of the experiences that I had with them.

Ironically my ex of five years is of Lebaneses descent and while he had a tendency to take things for granted he was not ever disrespectful and we remain close friends. He is the reason that I try to remain open minded about it all.

I do have one friend who doesn't see black clients but almost exclusively dates black men. She says that she made that decision because when she did see them they made her work alot harder and she always left exhausted and less than fresh feeling from all of the bedroom athletics she had just encountered. She said it was impossible to see another client after that and felt that the time needed to rest and repair afterwards was too much for the appointment to be worth it.

I don't know if that is true as Only a small percentage of the gentlemn that contact me are of african american descent. I base that though on the men who I actually ended up seeing plus the ones who volunteered the information. I must say though that the gentlemen that I have seen were indeed rather "athletic" in style. Since I typically see only one client per day that has never been a problem and if anything it has been a benefit.

You said "Well I suppose if it really is all about the money and the client has money, is clean and otherwise ok, then yes in my book that would make her a racist."

I'm seeing double standards here. Just because she chooses to see men of certain races and you choose to see woman of certain races, does that also make your racist?

I see men of all nationalities so this conversation doesn't apply to me but, I can't really say I follow the views of someone in my same race who's never reviewed a black provider.


TL

The only providers that have ever mentioned to me that they do not see black men were black providers.  In asking why the answers seemed to be very similar and I must say to me very stereotyping.  They all said that in many black men the atitude was that they were his black bitch and should be ready to do everything and anything he wanted.  Although they all admitted this was not all black men they felt it happened often enough not to take a chance.  Two women said they had many black guys who saw them as clients wanting to pimp them and they just didn't want to deal with that.  

I know it is a small sample but it is what I have experienced.  The first couple of times it really shocked me.

I do see providers of all races.
I am touched that you bother to check all my reviews.  Reviewing some people would be problematic for them as to how I met them so I don't is all I can say but I understand where you are comng from.

I have seen a handful of black men and middle eastern men, and have never had a bad experience.  After learning a few lessons, I tend to select the men I see by thier achievements in thier careers, and thier approach in following my simple protocol.  I have found that whenever I have compromised my protocol, that is when there are problems.  The best and finest simply follow the simple requests I have spelled out very plainly on my site.  I have learned that it must be followed.  Even one that follows my instructions, but then says something innappropriate last minute in e-mail or on the phone gets cancelled or even stood up depending on the offense.  I expect the same discretion that is expected.  As for the athletics, well, I am an athlete too!  *doing push ups right now*......puff, puff...........

Jenni

Blah blah blah... yes I know racism is a horrible thing and considering I'm in a biracial relationship and choose not to see black clients is hard on me. For the record my bf totally agrees and has no problem w/ me choosing not to see black guys.

Here is the real reason, not all these lame excuses that you wrote to seem ... well... pro Malcolm..
( I'm speaking for the ladies in Los Angeles)

In LA there are a group of black men who go around and ROB the providers. (They know we have cash).  Yes I said rob them!! with guns and sometimes the women get pistolled whipped. I know of one women who got raped. I am speaking from experience and not only that but I also know 5 other ladies who have been robbed. Word spreads around fast guys when this happens. Call any provider in LA and I assure you they know of someone who's been robbed!!!!

Oh yeah these guys know that we won't go to the LE b/c we are working in an illegal job. Thats why they continue.

So you know what... Its really not a racist thing, I know all blacks aren't like that,... its a safety thing. Just like I always say. If I knew there was a white guy with shoulder length brown hair who went around and robbed the women, then you better believe no one and I me no one who matched that profile would get through my doors!!!

You men get pissed when we ask for work numbers and such but realise we are putting our safety on line FOR YOU everyday!!

After reading all the other posts I think the reason providers prefer seeing white guys is because we have small dicks and aren't very demanding.  Basically we're easy money....

On a more serious note I have been a participant in these threads in the past and so I don't want to get into it again.  But I would say I have rarely felt more outrage than when a black man and I were waiting at a curb in Washington,DC for a cab (he was clearly next in line) and the cab driver sped past him and motioned quickly for me to get in the car.  (I didn't)

On the other hand I have heard it said in Los Angeles that many cab drivers will not pick-up a black fare for fear of being robbed. (Including black cab drivers).  Now these people are out to make a living, so they have every reason to pick up a fare, and yet they feel so endangered by it that they still won't do it.  And that fear is usually based upon experience, not some racial stereo type.

To me that's sort of the whole racial dilemma in a nut shell.  My moral outrage vs. a guy who feels like he may be risking his life to pick up a fare.  Who am I to tell him he's a racist when it's his life in jeopardy when his real world experience tells him otherwise?

The sad thing is that blacks are guilty by association, it's not being black that makes someone a criminal, thug or gang member, it's being uneducated, poor, unloved with no family structure that breeds these tendencies.  Unfortunately in a lot of the inner cities that happens to include a lot of blacks.  (Although it certainly includes Latinos and other minorities too).  And hey, I’m no different, if I'm being approached by a group of gang bangers I feel a little uneasy too.

Anyway, dmills, orthodox and the others, you have my sympathy, life isn't fair.

Too funny SomeNerd!  Actually, I have found absolutely no difference.  In terms of size, it varies with everyone, regardless of race.  In terms of enthusiam, lazyiness, hygiene, physical fitness....I have found the same variety regardless of race.  You guys are all alike in other words, hate to bust your bubbles, who ever that may be.........

By the way, as mentioned in my previous post here, the only problems I have had have been with caucasions.....doesn't make me stop seeing them.  I would starve to death, LOL.

((HUGS))

Jenni

(well, you're incorrect about the small dicks..)

I think the discrepancy lies with everyone's interpretation of the word 'racist'. A dictionary definition won't do. It's the  personal understanding of what that word means.

It's quite clear it means different things to different people.

Because a group of individuals who happen to be black go around robbing people you can discriminate against the WHOLE group and then put up the  the "better safe then sorry" front and shun that whole group of people? Wow. Then by that logic I guess I should NEVER see white, Asian, or especially latina providers because after all, they are usually the ones going around ripping hobbyists (spelling?) off. Almost every ripoff scam I have ever had done to me has been with a latina provider, a few have been white and a few have been asian, NONE have been black. You can even check TER's ripoff section and see that the overwhelming majority of provider scams are done by white or latina providers. Very few are black. Does this mean I won't see latina or white providers? Absolutely not! I just chalk it up as a loss and move on, no way do I conclude that all white providers are ripoffs.

In minneapolis we really only have a  handful of black hobbyist. Most of which were given a chance once or twice and in one way or another and  created a bad rap for themselves.

The most affluent of these men "a doctor" raped a local provider at a top hotel.    Unfortunaltly the majority of black clients have casued too many problems so girls that would normally wouldnt blink an eye to race, become very much aware of race when it comes to their work.  '

IT's too bad a few have ruined it for many but you have to understand that girls prefer ot take the least amount of risk possible, and if 100% or 8 out of 8 black clients she saw were trouble that she may decide to write off seeing any black male.

I think the whole getting robbed, higher risk of disease, etc is just a pretext.  I think it has everything to do with race.  I read this website of a popular provider which stated that she was attrcted to "white, Asian, Hispanic..." conspicuously leaving out black.  And another which emailed me and subtly asked in one of the info questions "What race are you?" Of course, I can also think of one other possibility is financial... the stereotype is that White and Asian men have money.  I'm not black, but I do think it kind of sucks that there is this hidden racism... I mean not only do you have hard time hailing a cab, but have to deal with this crap when you just want to relax.