I've given lots of second chances; sometimes they've worked out well enough, and sometimes not... but that's largely because I was lazy and wanted to stick with what I knew (or who I knew).
But you'r right - there should be a presumptive default in my brain not to be dis'ed twice as even when things have worked out well enough to keep seeing a provider who flaked once, it's never been quite up to par after that.I have been with a particular provider many many times over the past few years. She is reputable in my area and has decent reviews (8's across the board) with over 30 reviews.
Last year or so she has been acting strange. Cancelling at the last minute, couple of nc/ns. At times ignore my emails and texts. I am not the only guy who has experienced this.
While I am careful not to share too much info with other ladies, I spoke to one in general terms because I wanted to understand WTF, might be the issue. My acquaintance said it could be burnout and that it is common for ladies to feel this way once in a while.
Is burnout common place in the hobby? I mean I think it's good that we all take breaks from this underworld, but I can see how a lady could experience this. For a guy, we get to see and have sex with beautiful women, but their experience is different from a client's. At the Same time, if this is the case, why bother agreeing to meet if you know you need a break (whether it be a break from the hobby or a break from a client)? It's frustrating to go through it. Where I am, higher quality women are rare so I don't want to give up on this lady because I find that the only other option is BP, which is nasty to me, or SA, but I don't have the time that some of the ladies require there. There are a couple others I can see in my area, but this one in part is a true diamond in the rough.
Happy hobbying!
Had the same thing happen about a decade ago with a lady I considered an ATF.
It could be any number of different things, aging parent(s), their kids, financial problems, drugs/booze. Escorts have the same challenges in life as any one else: they're trying to make a living.
As far as the burnout aspect, we all cope in different ways. One high end escort I see takes a month every summer and goes to Europe with one of her GFs. Doesn't work, just travels like any other tourist.
MfSD>>>>
I guess we either move on and wait or both? Thanks for sharing.
Get the hint without her having to spell it out for you. Apparently, you haven't figured it out yet.
Possible I know, yet others gave noticed how quiet she has become. Several now don't trust her.
Want to keep seeing a provider that many seem not to trust is . . . . ?
Great question. We have history on the hobby and I guess I want to re-live the good days, especially in an area where there are already relatively few quality ladies.
Ya I know. I do give a fuck about her and I should not.
My regulars, but when the good days turn into bad days of the sort you described in your OP, it's time to create some good days with somebody new. Something to think about.
Thanks man
Having a talk with her? If I had a longtime client, I'd appreciate and understand his candor when speaking with me.
Yes I have tried to talk about it, but she is guarded or ignores my communication when I try...there is also the respect and boundary thing that it's none of my business.
At first I explained I was upset because it was rude to treat any client this way. Why schedule and cancel several times in a row? I can move on and don't mind seeing others, shit, I saw someone new this week who toured here ; ).
At the same time I told her to hmu when or if she wants to see me, but don't get my hopes if she has no intention on seeing me.
I have found that some people in this hobby are more candid and upfront than others.
Thanks For You Comment.
And if all communication has failed, I'd say it's time to let go and move on.
Why would you suggest he get involved with her life? If her service has declined for any reason, just move on. Before you turn into Captain Save-A-Ho
Agreed, not trying to save anything or anyone. Just confusing AF.
Thanks for your slap and post.
-- Modified on 12/18/2016 7:20:25 AM
-- Modified on 12/18/2016 7:20:25 AM
BTW, Fancy, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! xoxo
-- Modified on 12/18/2016 7:20:25 AM
You misunderstood my post.
BTW, Fancy, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! xoxo[/quote Why are you having a talk with her ??????? Happy holidays to you
Sweetheart, I didn't contact anyone...I just replied to the OP on TER's discussion board.
Thank you for the kind holiday greeting, and I hope you have an awesome day! I've been up all night working on my website and posting on TER, and I'm sleepy and FINALLY going to bed. Goodnight! xoxo
Thank you for the kind holiday greeting, and I hope you have an awesome day! I've been up all night working on my website and posting on TER, and I'm sleepy and FINALLY going to bed. Goodnight! xoxo
I think she misunderstood my post too. Take care and thanks for your input.
"You don't get to know". Leave the door open, respect her boundaries and don't be a pest; move on. Nothing wrong with giving it some time and checking in after a few months. Meanwhile, enjoy the fact that there are plenty of new experiences awaiting you going forward
No such thing is a burnout,. Professional ladies knows how to manage their life..She simply doesn't want to see you anymore and you're NOT getting the message and still persistent... When someone are tired of you, they will come up with all kind of excuses , goblins, trolls and magical creature and nothing you can do about it.. Move on dude, your're so closed of being a stalker.....
-- Modified on 12/18/2016 6:35:35 AM
I watched my former ATF go through it, as she was working like crazy in 2013 and 2014. She was overbooking herself. She finally took some time off last year, and this year isn't doing anything. She was always guarded with saying things about herself, but she actually told me she was burned out
Thanks for sharing. This shit is for real.
Ok...thanks
It usually comes from seeing too many clients....or trying to juggle too many things at once. I've suffered from it and I'll admit my services declined. It helps to decrease the amount of clients you are seeing and have a supportive group of friends and family that know along with taking time off on a regular basis. It's less money but in the end it's better for business. Anxiety causes a lot of health issues that can roll down hill.
Great post, couldn't agree more.
You could not be further from the truth.
I have talked to several ladies here and on other sites. They do tire, they do not enjoy your sex as much as you think they do.
They need breaks.
She texted me yesterday. She is happy to see me.
It is good to take a break every once in a while. While you are taking a breaking you can rebuild your assets.
While some gals have an iron constitution and go on day by day seemingly forever, others begin to feel like getting away from it, but struggle to keep going, thus behaviors like nc/ns appear - self fulfilling prophecies, so to speak.
As Jake suggested, don't try to "save" her. Instead move on, leaving a friendly door open for her to contact you in the future if she so decides. I've done this several times and the gals have used that door to our mutual benefit
Last year or so she has been acting strange. Cancelling at the last minute, couple of nc/ns. At times ignore my emails and texts. I am not the only guy who has experienced this.
While I am careful not to share too much info with other ladies, I spoke to one in general terms because I wanted to understand WTF, might be the issue. My acquaintance said it could be burnout and that it is common for ladies to feel this way once in a while.
Is burnout common place in the hobby? I mean I think it's good that we all take breaks from this underworld, but I can see how a lady could experience this. For a guy, we get to see and have sex with beautiful women, but their experience is different from a client's. At the Same time, if this is the case, why bother agreeing to meet if you know you need a break (whether it be a break from the hobby or a break from a client)? It's frustrating to go through it. Where I am, higher quality women are rare so I don't want to give up on this lady because I find that the only other option is BP, which is nasty to me, or SA, but I don't have the time that some of the ladies require there. There are a couple others I can see in my area, but this one in part is a true diamond in the rough.
Happy hobbying!
Just not where I am. Maybe three or four quality ladies and then tell nuts in BP. No thanks, but your suggestion is duly noted.
Men should have standards. I won't sink low or sacrifice my standards just to get off. Your average John may not care who he sees, but it's my dime and I will do as I please.
"Most" of the advice you got here was good. There are always going to be a couple of morons like the guy who claims hookers "can't get burnt out" At least Fancy was only the second worst/dumbest reply you got.
As for your actual OP, I have to say people don't like to hear "constructive criticism" and that goes double for burnt out hookers. I hate to say it, but I think it's time to move on, at least unless and until she figures out for herself that she needs to get her act together.
Agreed GA. There is a bit more to the story, but yes, I must move on...
The fact that you somehow manage to make a living doing this is proof positive of this fact.
Personally I can relate to the OP's dilemma. Until relatively recently I lived in a hooker mecca, but now I live in a small city with virtually ZERO "TER reviewed providers" I too might have been tempted to excuse some bad behavior from a former girl of quality, given the very few other options here, but fortunately I tried out the Sugar World and once again find myself with no lack of quality options, although I will admit I have to work a bit harder at it. If my only option had been hookers of your ilk, I would have either gone celibate or found myself a GF. I may have no morals, but like the OP, I do have standards. I know this is a foreign concept to you, so feel free to STFU any time now.
Personally I can relate to the OP's dilemma. Until relatively recently I lived in a hooker mecca, but now I live in a small city with virtually ZERO "TER reviewed providers" I too might have been tempted to excuse some bad behavior from a former girl of quality, given the very few other options here, but fortunately I tried out the Sugar World and once again find myself with no lack of quality options, although I will admit I have to work a bit harder at it. If my only option had been hookers of your ilk, I would have either gone celibate or found myself a GF. I may have no morals, but like the OP, I do have standards. I know this is a foreign concept to you, so feel free to STFU any time now.
GA. Gambler gets it.
There may be millions out there, there me dozens in my area on the rat infested backpage, but I don't settle. I choose. My choice.
Fancy does not get that sometimes a couple click, hang for a while, and when one moves on from the other it can be confusing.
I do hope to hear from her again, she's a great person and truth be told, It's none of my business, but it does impact me in some way.
Thanks Georgja, Great post
You are a goofball. It was just a general topic and personal experience. You are making a bigger deal of it than it is. Chill out psycho.
Why do they book and flake? Because they are torn between wanting the income and not enthusiatic about the work. At any moment in time one aspect or the other may dominate their thinking.
because "Cancelling at the last minute, couple of nc/ns = no further consideration".
I treat everyone with respect, until they give me a reason not to.
Last minute cancellation or ncns is simply disrespect, she won't get a second chance to disrespect me.
I've given lots of second chances; sometimes they've worked out well enough, and sometimes not... but that's largely because I was lazy and wanted to stick with what I knew (or who I knew).
But you'r right - there should be a presumptive default in my brain not to be dis'ed twice as even when things have worked out well enough to keep seeing a provider who flaked once, it's never been quite up to par after that.
Again, I'll say, there's NO such thing is burnt out..If you get burn out you need professional help..Normal people recognizes their limits and knows how to slows down or take a break in any job or chores, if you burn your candles on both sides and justifies it, that you don't have a choice, then you don't know how to manage your life and really needs help...
It is very possible this provider is tired and burned out and just needs time to herself. Maybe her taking the month of she likes to rejuvenate herself and just not wanting to deal with people just she just pulls back and does her own thing. Me doing this personally I enjoy it so much. It is like a rush of excitement I get meeting the client and enjoying the company of many different people. Maybe just give her sometime and she will come around. 
Nice post Eva!
-- Modified on 12/21/2016 10:02:47 PM
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