On civvie dates, you end up spending more money in wining and dining before you get your dick wet. And then more money to keep it wet.

Not all of us are built to be able to deal with the same person day in and day out, so for me the hobby allows me to have the best of both worlds....money and orgasms, then he makes me a sammich on the way out.

I started investigating this because I was looking for a massage with a happy ending....just something where I could walk away with a smile on my face after someone else did the heavy lifting so to speak.  The more I read, the more I learned that there were a lot more things readily available that I wanted to experience with zero drama.  

It appears that many people really enjoy the research, planning, and anticipation as well.    

With a good provider, I can find one place in the world (other than visiting my mom*) where I can feel like the king of the hill for a period of time.

Also the companionship, intimacy and of course great sex, but the feeling of adoration is a wonderful one.

*no nasty comments now!

Some of the attractions to the hobby werent so apparent to me when I first started 10 years ago. In the last year, I found myself getting a tremendous amount of pleasure by pampering my female guests (i.e. having their favorite alcoholic beverage waiting, providing a lengthy backrub, really listening to some of their everyday problems/offering solutions). When I turned the attention from just "ME" to the "LADY and ME" and sometimes even just them, I was rewarded many times over by their cheerfulness, gratitude and in some extraordinary cases, friendship.

There is obviously an element of convenience.

But *I* have found this is a way to drop some of my own expectations of myself. I don’t have to ‘be’ anything or anyone, other than what I happen to be at that moment. There is an opportunity to let go of whatever is happening ‘out there’, and silence that annoying internal self-critic; especially in regards to body image.

Many men seem to get quite focused on penis size. But, I don’t think men are completely immune from this idea that they ‘should look like”…..

But, I think this is particularly difficult for women. Women are hammered with wildly unrealistic expectations nearly from cradle to grave. Even the most stunningly beautiful women can internalize that crap and spend a lot of time worrying about whether they are pretty enough, or thin enough, or busty enough, or, or ,or…P4P can open up a safe space where all of that internal chatter, whatever it is, can be put aside.

It is also a way to learn how to receive pleasure with no expectation of reciprocity. I’m all for reciprocity, mind you. But simply receiving, understanding that reciprocity is not expected, can be surprisingly difficult to do. And, again, I think this may be more difficult for women than men. ‘Sides that: You don’t get to play the “Do me then make me a sammich before I go to sleep” card very often outside of P4P. Even your friends with benefits will lose patience….lol

And, as Krista touched on, this is a good way for woman to get to know her own body better. I’d even venture that could be of benefit to men too.

I’ll also echo Mr Fisher. Adoration. Who doesn’t love to just be adored?


-- Modified on 11/6/2012 5:58:48 AM