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I Know It's Been asked Before!regular_smile
lungman 10 Reviews 1421 reads
posted

But please refresh my memory(LADIES).
Ladies,u have to choose between 2 men(civies),
what 2 or 3 things would cause you to choose one
over the other?
Thanks!

moethebully424 reads

I'm not a lady but if anyone disagrees with me about this, they are out of touch with reality (that statement will draw criticism I'm sure.)

The more attractive guy (or gal) always wins.
If you had to choose between some people, you will always gravitate to the more physically attractive person first.  Once you get to know a person then you can decide if he/she is right for you, but in the beginning, the prettier person will always benefit from being chosen first.
 
This is a fact of life that no one wants to admit, but we do judge a book by its cover.  Why do you think on all the dating websites, pictures are the most important criteria and the pretty people always get the most hits.

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GiaBellini384 reads

It's not what a person looks like.... it's HOW they look at me that counts.  
How would I choose between two or more men?  How do they make me feel about myself? Does he make me laugh?  Do I feel protected, listened to, respected?  Does he genuinely like me or is he just using me to get something.. sex, prestige, self esteem??  
Is he authentic in his advances towards me?  Is there a future here?  
It's so much less about looks than people would believe.  (from a woman's perspective)

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johngaltnh155 reads

Moe's answer makes the mistake of assuming that women are just like men but with different plumbing.

While it is true that a certain percentage of the female population is looking for superficial stuff (looks, wealth, status, etc); the overwhelming preponderance are not. And it is a good thing too, because if they were, the species would perish.
:-)

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LillianFix216 reads

However, looks and youth are less important to me since beginning my escorting life.  I've found I always have more fun with an average-looking  man who's smart, humorous, warm and kind than I do with a vacuous looker.
In civilian life, there are a lot of particulars that turn me on and attract me to a person.  But it's the physical that makes me want to hunt for those particulars.
I wish it weren't so--looks and personality often don't exist in the same package--but oh, when they do!
All things being unequal, I'll always choose personality over looks for a relationship.  A pretty face just isn't enough to build a life on...sigh.

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Cr4zyphucker255 reads

Spot on! I have known some beautiful women that I wouldn't piss on if they caught fire. I have known some plain looking women that I was extremely drawn to. But, like you, I agree with Moe. Looks start any relationship. What keeps it going is personalities.

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buzzdog99107 reads

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Big_and_Rich110 reads

It has been proven repeatedly that looks are first!!  Both men and women.  Sure once you get to know the guy all that other stuff comes into play BUT it is looks first.

As a follow up there was a study done with guys and height, they put a line up of guys and and had the girls choose the one/ones they wanted to meet.  The short guys NEVER were picked.  The second time through they told stories about each guys.  The short guys were successful business men, the tall guys were tradesmen, even unemployed.......guess what the short guys still never were picked.
It was suggested but never tried to say that the tall guys were ex-cons to get someone to choose the short guy.

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ziggy440136 reads

If the question is who a provider chooses when she has two overlapping requests, does she/he often know how each of them looks? I agree with the reply in the world at large, but I am not sure how it can apply to this situation, unless there is some repository of hobbyist pictures out there.

Zig

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scoed88 reads

How in hell did I get married to one of the most beautiful ladies I have ever met then? I am not what anyone would call a looker I am well over 300LB, I have crooked teeth, and I am way to harry for most women. At the time we met I was unwashed and dressed like a slob as I had been traveling all day and haven't had a chance to clean up. And no I was not well off like I am now ether in fact I was rather poor. I only have a high school education. I am also very socially awkward on top of all. So how do you explain how I got married? The answer if I am to truthful, is I have not a clue but it is obviously nothing as shallow as looks or money as I has neither. My wife claims it was that I was kind to her on a really bad day for her, didn't judge her and did not take advantage of her offer for me to sleep with her for repayment for my help when she was vulnerable that got her interested and my personality that won her over a few years later. I still think she is crazy for ever falling in love with me. I still don't see what she sees in me but I know it was not because I am attractive in any superficial way. OK, maybe now as I now make a decent living, but not when she fell in love to me and said yes to marrying me. She could have landed a much more hansom and well off man but chose me instead. I do agree that what you said is often the case and maybe even the case the majority of the time but it is far from the case all the time. If not I would still be single with no prospects in the horizon. Good thing for me my wife decided to look beyond the cover as my cover could not be much uglier especially at the time we met.

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TrulyMsMocha122 reads

Even if the prettier one wins it's usually for a short while....looks fade.

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y_zerd_of_o151 reads

tall, handsome, rich

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lilli153 reads


...for a potential friend or anything REAL?? the man with whom i have the greatest intellectual connection, who allows me to be myself and who feels free to be himself in my presence. the man who relates to me on many different levels. the man who best complements my personality...who has boldness to my shyness, aggressiveness to my timidness, a natural tendency to lead and guide to my natural tendency to obey and follow. yep, without hesitation, that is the man i would pick. :)

now for something not so real, such as a one-time meaningless sexual encounter? i'd choose the man who was the most aggressive, period. the one who seemed to have the stronger desire for me physically.

i'm afraid superficial looks and material gains just do not play into it at all for me. in fact, few things will make me lose ALL interest in a man more quickly than someone who feels the need to mention how much money they earn or what meaningless things they have acquired. listening to such a man is akin to holding a seashell up to one's ear, and hearing the empty, faint dull roar.

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wormwood135 reads

It's mostly about the Benjamins.

"the number and frequency of a woman’s orgasms is directly related to her partner’s wealth."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article5536873.ece

"Psychologists proved what car-dealers have boasted for generations the car one drives is key when it comes to turning a woman's head."
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/5042640/Women-more-attracted-to-men-in-expensive-cars.html

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lilli158 reads


...and if that's the type of woman a particular man wants, well then they deserve each other. but for the rest of us it's about the real stuff.

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wormwood118 reads

There's been a great deal of research on this and it all points conclusively to the fact that the large majority of women find the same men more attractive when they display things that connote wealth than they do when those men are dressed more 'poorly'.

Even broad-minded, deep, genius women are more or less prisoners of their unconscious drives.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Healthday/story?id=4508570&page=1

http://www.dnaindia.com/money/interview_when-men-think-about-attractive-women-they-intend-to-spend-more-money-geoffrey-miller_1395992

http://www.themedguru.com/articles/women_find_men_in_expensive_cars_more_attractive-86121324.html

After getting to know a poor schlep (like me), a woman may find that personality, humor, kindness, etc. trump wealth, but displays of wealth initially make men seem more attractive to most women. It's just the way most are wired.

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lilli137 reads

...and my opinion still stands. the only validity in these things is perhaps in the arena of initial sexual attraction, and limited to the "average" (whatever that means) female. however women don't often "choose" a man...for a friend, partner, mate, or even scrump buddy, based solely or even primarily on initial sexual attraction. we're complex creatures that way.

but it's cool to agree to disagree. ;)

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mrfisher84 reads

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wormwood95 reads

Well, if you want to argue that the average person is relatively shallow and thoughtless, I'll certainly agree there.

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lilli129 reads


no, that is not my argument. my point was that even taking the so-called "average" female into consideration, the majority of women do not "choose" a man for any purpose based on such superficial factors. unlike "average" men, where initial sexual attraction is very likely to lead to such a choice.

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TrulyMsMocha77 reads

He can't make laugh he has no chance ...... if he's boring/close-minded he has no chance.... I bore easily so....yeah. Whose funnier and who pisses me off less by being less boring ^_^

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