TER General Board
I have found the site very useful. Expect drama sometimes.
Some of the providers are like that. Sort of silly especially when all the references are online 24x7. Some feel like they want to actually talk to the lady and get your permission to talk to her. If you don't want to do that go on to the next provider on the site to get away from the reference Drama.
Here is an example why she might want to contact your references with your permission. Learn from my mistake. One time I gave my date-check id out and the provider contacted every provider listed. One provider got upset that I would pay more new provider than her. It got really nasty and went to the one of the discussion boards.
Other providers you give them your date-check id get the appointment with no problems. Some are nice enough to show you how the other provider ranked you.
I just started using Date-Check thinking that it would make the whole verification thing easier.
I have multiple references on Date-Check but it seems like whenever I give my Date-Check ID number to a provider who uses the service, they still reply and ask for references. I'm confused...
I'm I doing something wrong? I thought using these types of services provided instant verification and allowed a hobbyist to bypass the "references" part of screening.
and may want to speak with the providers before seeing you. This way they can find out more info than just the lady saw you. Since there are no reviews maybe a little more personal information as well to feel comfortable.
Have you written any reviews as I don't see any. Why not write reviews and ask for a whitelist.Every little bit helps with getting to know you. That's what we ladies want to do before we meet you and would hate a very unwanted surprise.
Just because you have dat-check doesn't mean a lady will not do her own checking. After all it is her safety and who better to trust it with than yourself.
Kisses Haley
I understand a lady wanting to check out someone to feel safe.
In response to your reply Haley, I have 19 reviews here and I still don't understand why a provider would ask for additional references when I already have multiple references listed under my Date-Check ID.
...can be achieved by asking the gentleman for the safe word he signed up with when he joined the site.
Or if your fat, ugly, no teeth, smelly, wearing a wife beater shirt with beer spilt down the front.
Some of the providers are like that. Sort of silly especially when all the references are online 24x7. Some feel like they want to actually talk to the lady and get your permission to talk to her. If you don't want to do that go on to the next provider on the site to get away from the reference Drama.
Here is an example why she might want to contact your references with your permission. Learn from my mistake. One time I gave my date-check id out and the provider contacted every provider listed. One provider got upset that I would pay more new provider than her. It got really nasty and went to the one of the discussion boards.
Other providers you give them your date-check id get the appointment with no problems. Some are nice enough to show you how the other provider ranked you.
Your example seems like a little more than an isolated incident. It's your prerogative to label an activity a lady wishes to use to feel safe as "reference drama". I think the ladies who do this are trying to avoid "arrest drama". But each to his own.
The provider was a known trouble maker. She actually outed providers and made threats. She got banned from TER.
We want to make sure its you. I personally don't ask the hobbyist I will contact the provider to make sure your you. And do some research, including calling you to make sure. You never know. Its just us protecting ourselves.
Trina
I do think that if you're going to advertise on Date-Check then you ought to be willing to use their references.
Having said that, there are some additional steps that you can take to be sure of who you are talking to.
1) If a lady asks the gentleman for his SAFEWORD, that gent should be able to tell her his SAFEWORD.
2) I would also recommend to the ladies using the email address in the gent's profile send an email and receive an email from him that includes her original message. This confirms he has
access to the email account.
3) If the lady wants added assurance, have the gent meet her in Date-Check using the PM in the chatroom.
Nothing is foolproof, but this at insures that the person has control of the Date-Check account, the email account, and knows the SAFEWORD.
Hope this helps some. Thanks to the person who helped me formulate these thoughts. He knows who it is.
Paddy
-- Modified on 5/4/2009 8:20:05 PM
I've been using Date-Check, as well as Preferred411 for a couple of years, and I don't recall ever having to give any additional information. Are you using the form on the site, or sending an email? I have always chosen not to use the form on the site, as I find it to be less personal than an email.
I usually send an email from the site with my Date-Check ID in the subject.
I always send a lady a nice email, introduce myself, and let her know that I'm very interested in spending some time with her. I just find the forms too impersonal.
Let her know when you'd like to see her, and for how long. Tell her a little about yourself, not too much, just enough to let her know that you're real and serious. Then be sure to tell her that you are a member of Date-Check, and if she is interested, you will gladly give her your member ID.
Because you never know if someone has gotten ahold of another's ID code! A personal email is a nice additional touch, though.
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