TER General Board

I have always preferred telephone contact
fortitude 6839 reads
posted

And I have always used the phone in exactly the same way I would expect others would use it to call me, ie- no early AM or late PM calls.  That's just common sense and common courtesy.

That said, a provider is in a business that has, at least from time to time, odd hours of operation, and unless otherwise posted on her website, she should expect some calls at some unusual hours.  So I suppose that the answer is to very politely post that you do not accept calls after a certain time.  And/or shut off your cell phone at that time, and let your VM take the message for the next day.


First, how early is too early; how late is too late to call?
Well, my feeling is anything before 8am is too early to call someone; and anything after 9:30 pm is too late to call, unless they’ve asked you to call, or unless you advertise that you take calls until whenever. Sound about right?

Now, usually, if you call and leave a message asking a return call, you have now left the ball in their court to call you back. LEAVE THE BALL THERE, and if they don’t call you back within, say 24 hours (the next day), then call again. Does that sound about right? (48 hours for email).
It is not usually necessary to continue to call a dozen more times and continue leaving messages. The ONE call and message was sufficient – wait until they call you back. To call incessantly is a sure fire way that I will NEVER call back.

If you are wanting a call back by a certain time, for example, if you leave the message “Hey, Sedona, this is BillyBob, it’s 2:30 on Friday, give me a call back at this number by 4:30”. Please leave alternate instructions in case I don’t get the message in time or was unable to return the call at that time – such as another phone number or an email address, otherwise, I will NOT return the call in order to respect your privacy.

Also, it's very helpful if you tell me Bob 'Who', or Dave 'Who' with a TER handle or some other reminder. Believe it or not, there are many Daves, Bobs or Johns (no pun intended).

Anybody else want to share something about phone calls..

Ci Ci4429 reads

My ad states that I work Monday through Thursday from 1 p.m. until midnight. However, that does not mean I enjoy getting calls at 10 a.m. or after 10 p.m. The midnight part merely suggests that's the time I will work up to, so call me by 10 p.m. if you would like to meet that night and pray I can get a reference by that time. I prefer at least a day's notice, unless it's a regular client. However, I know how difficult it can be sometimes for out-of-towners with hectic schedules. Heck, I even get calls on Sunday night, although my ad states that I don't work that evening. I'm pretty liberal with people calling me, if they have my number. I can always turn my phone off, and it usually sits in my office being charged anyway when I'm sleeping. However, I am good about returning calls as quickly as I can. Unless your ad states to call between 'such and such an hour', then I feel the best etiquette is what my parents taught me:  Don't call anyone until 9 or 10 a.m. on the weekend and don't call anyone after 9:30 or 10 p.m. at night. It's just rude!
But remember, we're in a predominately evening-based working environment, so be patient with clients who are condusive to those hours.

Hugs,
Ciara

msBarbara2660 reads

If you call me.  My phone machine will tell you the details of when to return your call.  I am an old fashion lady and I very rarely call men.  I just never know who will pick up the telephone.  I don't want to get anyone in trouble.  As long as my pictures are posted and my phone says call me back then it is up to you to try again.  That is just the way I do things.

fortitude6840 reads

And I have always used the phone in exactly the same way I would expect others would use it to call me, ie- no early AM or late PM calls.  That's just common sense and common courtesy.

That said, a provider is in a business that has, at least from time to time, odd hours of operation, and unless otherwise posted on her website, she should expect some calls at some unusual hours.  So I suppose that the answer is to very politely post that you do not accept calls after a certain time.  And/or shut off your cell phone at that time, and let your VM take the message for the next day.

Personally, I ALWAYS give detailed instructions for when and how I will be reachable for a return call.  But perhaps 10% of all ladies are diligent in following these instructions.  I'm not talking about situations where the lady may not be available.  I'm talking about situations where the expectation was that she SHOULD be available.

Just yesterday, I had arranged to meet with a lady at around 5:00 PM.  We spoke at around 2:00, and I agreed that I would get a room, and call her back within the hour to let her know where the room was.  I get the room, and leave her a detailed message at 2:45, containing all the details, except the room number, which I would give her after I checked in, and ask her to call back and confirm.  No call back.  Since the room had already been paid for (priceline), I check in anyways around 3:30, and leave her another message with the room number - no call back.   At 4:30, leave her another message, simply asking her to confirm when she would be arriving, no call back.  At this point, I am about 75% sure I'm being stood up.  By 5:15, I'm 95% sure, and I start calling other ladies, since I've just bought a room 5 miles from my home that I won't be using otherwise.  Fortunately, I did manage to connect with another lady and have some recreational activity.  After that meeting, I call the 1st lady, just to try to find out what happened.  This time she DOES call me back, and gives me an excuse about being with other family members, and her phone had gotten juice spilled on it, yada yada yada.  Meanwhile, I had already bought a room for our meeting, and she never bothered to let me know that for whatever reason she stood me up, until I called her back after the stand-up.  

While I have no personal experience with YOU Sedona, in general, If MOST of you ladies would maintain some type of professional discipline with returning calls, we guys would not have to engage in the type of repeat calling that you are complaining about.

At least the ladies that I know are! If they weren't, trust me, we in are area where words get around. Yes, there are some flakes out there, but that doesn't mean that the majority are following their lead. Lets not assume that WE are ALL in this together, for I am here to say, that WE ARE NOT (unprofessionalism).

Simply,

Mel ;)

-- Modified on 12/1/2003 11:58:03 AM

I, however, return ALL worthy calls and emails. ALWAYS. Most particularly when the calls are 'appointment related'.

When it comes to my Sedona line, it's a voice mail service anyway, and doesn't disturb me by ringing anywhere.

A select few have my personal line (which I don't give out anymore) and that stays on 24/7 as it's my only means of contact so I don't turn it off. That's the one that I'm referring to.
That one DOES ring, and will awaken me if I am sleeping. This is the one I am saying leave a message and I'll call back by the next day or so, or at least I will call back to say when it is a better time to talk and to call then. Calling again and again, and again incessantly (when you're just calling to chit chat) without waiting for me to call back is a sure fire way for me to NEVER return the call, or to have the number changed asap.

Make sense?

And these jerks certainly make it difficult for both the ladies and the guys who Do try to handle our activities responsibly to simply use these communcations tools as they were intended.  I certainly wish you ladies didn't have to put up with jerks like Morghan's "Turkey Stuffer", but at least in his case, Darwin has pointed out that nature has an eventual solution.  Still, I wish that if most ladies and most guys acted professionally in these simple communications, it would make it alot easier on all of us.

morghan5368 reads

I took my phone # down - debating on whether to put it back up...
Over the last few weeks its been nothing but heavy breathers , question men ( that obviously didnt take two minutes to read my site) , and 3am calls to see if it was "really" me.

It drove me crazy. I would love to offer my number for direct contact but unfortunately NO ONE has used it for the purpose it was intended for. TO call state name number and verification information.

I had on there that I didnt accept calls after 8pm - that I am in school all day - EMAIL was indeed the fastest form of contact. As I have my email up all day in the lab at school.
I am really stuck Sedona.. its a pain in the arse to say the least. I do not want to chit chat on my phone. Unfortunately not to sound crass - as much as I may enjoy someones company I really am not a phone person. I believe it is for an exchange of information not an hour long chit chat flirty time , not to mention you REALLY need to be careful what the hell you say on the phone. .

If it is someone I have seen before. I feel comfortable "catching up" and sharing news events and opinions. Thats different.
of the 27 calls that came in listed on my caller ID from tues to sat Not one resulted in an appointment. I do not mind sharing this as I REALLY think this is important. It was all questions.
Questions questions questions
When I would break it one minute in and state - great when were you seeking a day and time?
no crap the answer I got was..
"Prob jan or feb should I call back then to schedule" or something rediculously stupid like " well I wanted to come to your place now" no where have I ever stated i do incall. Silly stupid stuff.

PS- to the guy that called me on Thanksgiving morning at 4am asking me to bend over the stove so he could stuff his turkey.. you left your number on my caller ID BOZZO. You were also recorded as I picked up on the last ring and the machine picked up too. The FCC has federal rules on deviant phone behavior. Your number shows up again... enough said.

Morghan, you're too funny (or maybe it's the things that happen to you and you're way of replaying them).

You're gonna have to announce a time when you're gonna be on chat.

BTW, are you hyperactive?

morghan2655 reads

yoga lots of it

Way to go girl!  Some guys just don't give a sh*t with how they treat a lady.  Most ladies I've gotten to know only provide the number when the date is set.  All prior contact (communication type) is via e-mail.  I look forward to meeting you in O-town.

morghan2447 reads

I know its hard. I would love to have the number there I encourage calls.. but DAM!!! NOT AT FREAKING 4AM!!!

Ok and I have a surprise for you!!!!

KENNEDY MOVED HERE !!! she comes in tonight Key !!!!
She will be staying with me all this week !
Make sure you give me a call I cant wait. I am going to sneak out of what you and I talked about on the night you and I talked about...

this all sounds so top secret... lol anyway make sure you give me a call hot stuff!!!
xo
mo

God The BS you women have to put up with! Whew!

I feel like I'm stalking if I send an e-mail that isnt business related. (sorry to all those that I e-mail on a regular basis, I must be stalking you! LoL)

I can't imagine calling un-invited or calling outside the regular business hours listed on your site.

IMHO, calling more than once and leaving multiple messages is a tad strange. Especially just "to chat".

Then again the panic of being stood-up sucks too.

Sorry for the rambling. To many paint fumes!

Both sides of the equation should all heed Sedona's suggestions.

Really, it's just common courtesy to me.  Does anyone like getting calls at 2am, business or otherwise?

Just have a little compassion for others, follow the instructions on messages or voicemail, and leave the necessary details.

This should be easy stuff!

Your first 2 paragraphs go way beyond provider/client stuff.  They're really the normal courtesy when calling ANYONE.  The only exception I'll make is if I know the person's habits well enough to be sure (s)he'll welcome a call at 6AM or 11:30 PM.

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