Civvy women seem to always have their nose out of joint about providing. I find it entertaining but can understand how a lady in the biz would find it uncomfortable....  

I also consider the attitude of civvies to be hypocritical - how many women choose their SOs based on his income or wealth? How many *want the money* if they choose to split?  How many *expect* money to be spent on them by their dates / lovers / SOs? Expect a "standard of living"? Of course - it's only natural.

In my experience, SOs are *more expensive* to maintain! And of course you get the privilege of dealing with all of the relationship drama, waking up one day to find you've acquired a second mother, and often declining fequency or quality of sex as well.

Interestingly, I've explained to a few civvy women over the years why I hobby - and they get it! But let them discover that a particular lady hobbies? Not good (most of the time - some ladies will want to find out the details....)

At the end of the day, I have rarely found the woman who will give it up without some kind of financial considerations and / or other hopes or expectations.....

I think that the reason why many women  instinctively abhor providing is because it offers a way off of the treadmill for the men who are wise enough to discover it, and thus reduces the available population of dupes!

Surprisingly...

...talking online to a lot of women over the years, a surprising number have admitted to dabbling as a provider to one degree or another once or more.  One woman claimed it was her college sorority initiation, another needed a tank of gas and slept with a guy she knew in exchange, one was artfully maneuvered into turning tricks one weekend in an airport hotel by an older girlfriend who did it regularly, and the ultimate, a relatively wealthy married woman who turns tricks just for the kink of being done by strangers.  Its amazing what people will tell you online that they would NEVER spill in person, not to their best friend.  Of course everything is taken with a grain of salt!
Some of those women with their noses in the air about it may well fall into 'the lady doth protest too much' category!
MVR

What woman hasn't had sex when money was a factor beforehand.

The guy pays for dinner in the civilan world. Some women will wait until the third date as she knows if she doesn't put out then the guy will lose interest. Some women love sex so much that she will do the guy after just one date. Amen to these kind of women.

So what woman has not had sex before the guy took money out of his wallet to pay for something before sex was ever mentioned on a date in the civilan world.

there are too many woman who frankly are not good in bed and do not enjoy it or know what their partner enjoys.  They find a woman who does know what shes doing intimidating. Then there are those, men and woman who just don't get it.  

To the civie ladies we are intimidating this is why they feel a need to look at us as "whores" that way we are not in their mind a threat to them.

Personally I feel bad for most of them...god they are missing so much.
Its not about the BJ or the fuck really its the mind fuck that leads up to the final conclussion. Most are clueless where thats concerned.

Providers make things simple and clear. Civvies usually have an agenda and some protocols that need to be dealt with and the outcome is always uncertain.

I couldn't tell you because . . .

I never had a problem with civie sex with anyone I have dated in the past. In fact, I'm sure they thought I was a nymphomaniac.

I don't like it when some men peg civie women into one category. For example, when men say that women are always out to get something (regarding money). I think it may be a different generation, but I remember actually growing up thinking: I want true love not money. Stupid me.

Also, let's take into consideration the hormonal differences between men and women. What about women who are going through menopause, perhaps not interested in their partners anymore, perhaps there is pain incurred by sex (medical problems), etc. Remember: When women are pissed off, felt uncared for by their spouses, have no sex drive or bored, they generally don't want sex as frequently as men. Men, on the other hand, still want it. So, being that we're built differently (both physically and mentally), is it really fair to judge women so harshly?

I could ask why men marry or date women who are half their age and who are sex-crazed in the beginning? Do they really expect that to last forever? Maybe some women (like me) still enjoy sex. Just curious. And, don't kid yourself. Men these days want a significant other who also brings home the bacon. I don't know where you guys have been hanging out.

You know, we (women) could say that men -- at a certain age -- cannot get it up and therefore the romance is gone because it suddenly becomes work instead of fun, but that would be harsh now wouldn't it?

Why can't we just stop putting the other gender down and see that perhaps we need to take a good look at ourselves and what we really want? Then, stop bitching and go after it, instead of portraying a whining baby. After all, it's their (men's) fault if they feel they've wasted their money on a civie date, now isn't it?  Then don't date. Just drink beer with your buddies and when you can afford it, hire a provider.  

Sorry, but I would think by now the men are from Mars and women are from Venue is pretty clear. Geez! I'm feeling spunky today.

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 3/7/2009 1:16:20 PM

I sure hope they're not on to you.

two groups.  In the hobby, she is a termed a "provider" and she is HONEST about who she is and what it is about.  In the Civvie world, I wouldn't use the same term...instead I'd use "taker", complete with hidden agendas of their own but, oh so willing to excoriate the provider.  
Who's the real hypocrite?

My ex actually told her daughter (after the divorce) that she had never loved me;  That she saw me as a solution to a cash problem...  I had money in the bank, first time in my small house, she had gone through my desk & my bank books while I was in the bathroom.  (Stupid ME I did not know to hide them.    

She owed money (all of which I paid off during the 5 year marriage).  When my share (very junior partner) of the business was gone, she stopped concealing that she was cheating to drive me out.  Stupidly I loved her & was crushed emotionally as well as financially.

I never looked at another woman, never thought of a provider even when she was cheating.

In my experience most civie women do use sex as a tool to attract a man & get what they want.  Which is why they are so threatened by providers or women who do not...  If sex stops being a tool, they lose control.  They have no leverage.  OMG, women go ballistic if they read about a nearby provider!  

If I had hobbied at the time, I could have (maybe) avoided having my heart broken as well as bankrupted.  
skb

I agree with the comment that civies are threatened by providers. Providers are also a bit threatened by civies. I say the latter since it seems unbelievable that a man would stay with a woman and still see a provider on the sly. And yet, here I am doing exactly that which I would never have imagined on the day I was married over 20 years ago. So what does my wife (who has told me on more than one occaision that prostitution is horrible and should be stopped) have that keeps me with her?
She is the mother to my children. She stays with me despite my oft bad behavior and inability to always 'bring home the bacon. She was breathtakingly beautiful when I met her and is still a lovely woman who could make a business as a provider. For some dumbshit reason, she stays with her man and supports me emotionally more than I deserve.
No matter how great the session, I have no illusions--civie and professional sex have nothing in common.