Hound's earlier thread about self-confidence and personal power and the last thread about first times with a provider made me ponder a bit..
My first time with a provider came when I was at an all-time low in self-confidence, after several years of a sexless marriage. Dealing with the stress of starting up a new business, working long hours for little money. After that session I was walking on air for days, self-confidence restored and the "needy" and "beaten down" vibe driven away. I felt like I could take on the world, and people around me noticed. Women approached me! It was an epiphany of sorts. Gaining self-confidence, losing the neediness, gaining skills and experience. All benefits of the hobby that show up in many aspects of your life, including with civvie women, with clients.. in nearly every situation where relating to other people is required for success. Has anyone else experienced similar benefits or moments where you "got it" about something as a result of hobbyingabout 40 minutes into the hour date!
I can definitely say that my confidence level as risen. Dressing up, getting my hair done, doing my nails, all the extra primping and priming that in my normal college life I really don't have time for - it's definitely made me feel much better about myself internally and externally. I was always a much more internal type of person and while there's nothing wrong with that, I always wanted to be the person who could strike up a random conversation with a stranger and walk away smiling. I wasn't able to do that when I started in May, but now I'm able to.
When you look good, you feel great; when you feel great, you give off positive vibes that make people want to be around you which in turn makes them happy.
Besides the finances, there are definite long lasting benefits in this world 
When you look good, you feel great; when you feel great, you give off positive vibes that make people want to be around you which in turn makes them happy.
Besides the finances, there are definite long lasting benefits in this world
One person I spent time with remarked that when she is "Escort" she has a chance to be some one she never could be normally.
Thanks, Luna. I definitely understand what you are saying. I was always a bit of an introvert also, but now I find I can be much, much more outgoing and at ease. And others definitely notice!
Why do I say it's faux? Because it is not real. If we were not fkin these men, they would not say and do the things they are doing to begin with. If we were not getting paid, we would not be there at all. Far too many men come here because they lack social skills and confidence to date women in real life...same with some providers. It amazes me how many people really are here looking for love and confidence. How does one get a sense of security by fkin a married man 30 years older than her? I don't get it.
You are rarely turned down by a provider unless your screening is lax, but in the real world that's not the same playing field. Just because you got 100 hookers to tell you how great you are because of that envelope on the table, does not mean you really are all that lol...same can be said for us.
Sorry, did not mean to burst any bubbles here.
You are rarely turned down by a provider unless your screening is lax, but in the real world that's not the same playing field. Just because you got 100 hookers to tell you how great you are because of that envelope on the table, does not mean you really are all that lol...same can be said for us.
Sorry, did not mean to burst any bubbles here.
I understand what you mean, but for me I am not getting my confidence from the men. If anything, it's from me getting ready for my dates is where I get the confidence from. You know, taking the time for yourself, the preparation, the mindset of being great - all of those things are what helped me gain confidence and helped me feel better about myself.
You are rarely turned down by a provider unless your screening is lax, but in the real world that's not the same playing field. Just because you got 100 hookers to tell you how great you are because of that envelope on the table, does not mean you really are all that lol...same can be said for us.
Sorry, did not mean to burst any bubbles here.
You don't think you're beautiful, London? Sure looks like it to me, and I'm being objective.
I'm sure there's lots of guys here who lack confidence, etc, but there's plenty who don't. I've never lacked the confidence and skills to date women. As I've said a thousand times, right now I don't want any emotional involvement. This is the best route for me to take to get sex without getting tangled up in some emotional drama. (Bad enough that some providers provide their own drama).
And here I thought you LOVED us. ( where's the Kleenex )
remember you have a SPOTY to win, no sensible posts for you, I've got money at stake.
Perception is reality... You could argue all of life is faux.
Ha ha ha...well, yah that's true.
There's so many services that are there for people to increase their self confidence - life coaches, therapists, psychiatrists, personal training, I actually put this activity right in that category, sex is a need and sometimes all you need to feel good about yourself is to release those sexy chemicals that come with orgasms. Just like people go to therapy to get those empathy emotions fulfilled.
Self confidence is simply the belief in one's powers or abilities, and so many people lose that somehow, either psychologically or physically, I don't think the self confidence men get comes from 100 hookers telling them they're great, it simply comes from the physical satisfaction of having fulfilled a basic human need. Endorphins and oxytocin are very real. In that respect, I don't think providers provide a faux sense of self confidence, they just help release a whole bunch of physical stuff. No pun intended :
Agree with Cosette. At the very least, sexual frustration does ugly things to people. We're all better people after we've been laid.
Then, kindly explain to me why we have hookers who've been doing this 10 years on a regular basis, and are miserable...same for some guys. Sorry, not buying it. Sex alone with someone you're not even attracted to does not do a damn thing for most 'sane' people. I am actually more bitchy after an orgasm, especially if the guy is still there when I want to fix a sandwich.
if everything in your life is going alright - job is ok, family is ok, friendships are ok, and the only thing missing in your life is sex, then yes, sex can make you happy, that last piece of the puzzle.
I'm not speaking about women though, I'm speaking more about men's increased self confidence/happiness
Have you missed the countless "I fell for a hooker/client" threads lol. You can get the very same release from Cocaine...I would not say Cocaine makes anyone self confident past the time they are doing it. I know many men who use the hobby as a safe way to have sex with women, because they are too scared to approach them in real life...that's why I said it is a faux sense of confidence. There is nothing confident about paying a prostitute to fk you, and her saying yes...it's a transaction.
I am crushed. LOL
First you make a good point that a provider's compliments need always be filtered just as you would filter a compliment from anyone you're paying ("Funniest joke ever boss", "That sweater looks great on you chief). Nor am I deluded enough to think I bring every provider I see to multiple Os with my magic touch and my Brobdingnagian apparatus (although there was that one lady in DC 15 years ago). But given that confidence is a state of mind I don't know how it can be called fake. If I really feel content because I just had a great O is the feeling of contentment fake because I paid to get it?
Here I think you're confusing the feeling one might obtain with how it is obtained. Sure it may not be healthy to rely on a strict diet of providers to bring you happiness, confidence or even Os. Nor should I rely solely on a diet of whole milk and steak for my physical health. But if I walk out of a session with a provider, or a meal at Mortons, feeling great and I subsequently have a great business meeting, shoot a great round of golf or make a splash as the life of the party at my local watering hole then all to the good I say. And like any muscle that regularly gets used over time you develop an ability to bring it to bear more often and maybe even without need for the stimulus that originally got it moving.
And if by fake you mean the rush of overconfidence one feels with that second margarita (and the feeling of invulnerability one feels with the 7th) again those are admittedly risky in that they're as much a narcotic effect as they are a "genuine" feeling. But remember that the dopamine/endorphine effect can be obtained from many "natural" endeavors as well ("runner's high" anyone? ) I guess it's up to each of us to determine how natural or unnatural is this particular source of positive feeling.
-- Modified on 11/7/2013 11:43:26 AM
Hey London, I am totally disagree with you about far too many men come here because they lack social skills and confidence to date women.
I, myself, have a very good attitude and a nice personality. I can be around all women and make them all laugh. I don't have any problem asking and dating women. Why I doing this?????
1. I am a very busy man and I have 2 business to run. I really don't have a lot of time.
2. I love dating pretty woman, and take them out drinking and dining, and I don't want to just to have one.
3. I don't want any relationship at all, because I like a different pretty faces. ( I like to get as many as I can get
before I am getting too old).
4. So anytime, when I feel like party and I just call my provider. This is much easier than to have a girlfriend.
5. By the way, Women in all field tell me how great I look too, ( of course providers tell me that also ).
My comment was about men and women I know who are indeed using this hobby to boost their confidence, when it's not really a good idea. I am not talking about feeling good after you fk a hot chick..that's a given, but real men who lack real social skills, and think fkin hookers can give them that. Hey, if in that deluded state it actually helps land them a better job, more power to em. I am just pointing out that not everyone is here for the same reason or the same benefit, and it is actually very destructive for some people. To ignore that, is ignorant.
There are women who've never felt secure or pretty in real life, who actually come to the hobby to get that from married men. Again, I do not get it.
Thank you London that I am not included. I am sure there are a lot of guys here don't included too.
Just remember, not every guy here looking for a provider are fat, ugly, bald head. lack of personal skills, or afraid of talking to women.
It is very possible one or some of your customers are very good looking... If you haven't find one yet, OH well, not just because they are all ugly, fat and...etc . May be it is because they haven't find you yet.....
I am also very happy with the 1-2 clients I see in a month, and would not want to change them. Looks have nothing to do with confidence, despite what so many seem to think. Some of the most awkward looking people I have known had the most confidence. In that confidence, they went from being a 2 to an 8...most guys who do look good, lack that very same trait, because they feel their looks excuse them for anything else. Not the case. No "outer" thing could ever give me confidence, but that's just me. Sure, when I reach certain goals I feel good about that, but I would also not be depressed if I failed. I will always fail at something.
-- Modified on 11/7/2013 4:12:29 PM
Hey London: On your early post.
You said nothing about physical appearance..... ::: Early Post , You wrote
Just because you got 100 hookers to tell you how great you are because of that envelope on the table, does not mean you really are all that lol...same can be said for us.
Reading this, sound like your providers inside their mind, are laughing and teasing their customers about their look. ( it is very difficult for me not to believe you are not talking about physical appearance?????? )
Just want to let you know, this is a two way street. I, myself, sometime have to lie to my provider about how great she look and how hot her appearance too
But yes, if you or any other man here is dumb enough to actually believe everything a provider says to you, therapy migh be in order. Not many are going to tell you to your face you suck in bed, are not that attractive, and she would rather be doing her nails. Well, Farrah and I will bwahahaha, but not the majority. Providers LIE to you, in order to keep getting your money. Some of you are hot, some are awesome in bed, some smell like a bed or roses, but that is NOT the majority f the men in the hobby. So once again, it is a faux sense of confidence for men who actually buy into the bs some hookers are selling. Hope that was clear.
Hey London: I just want to make my point that you were talking about physical appearance. And you tried to tell me you are not. Now the case is closed.
I also point out to you that not all customers are ugly, fat, bald head, smell bad, lack of personal skills, etc..... I am thank you that you excluded me.
I am sure you wonder why I writing this??? OH well, because it is very hard for me and I am sure it is very hard for all other good looking hobbies here. reading all the non sense about all the customers here are fat, old, ugly, lack of personal skills.....etc...... ( this is like a put down for all of us ).
Now the case is closed.
Thank you
Go to a M&G. Then you'll see for yourself that many mongers fit the profile that appears on these boards.
Also keep in mind that the hookers who go to the M&G's are in the same boat...many are old, fat and ugly as well.
It's a match made in heaven.
Case closed LOL
I also point out to you that not all customers are ugly, fat, bald head, smell bad, lack of personal skills, etc..... I am thank you that you excluded me.
I am sure you wonder why I writing this??? OH well, because it is very hard for me and I am sure it is very hard for all other good looking hobbies here. reading all the non sense about all the customers here are fat, old, ugly, lack of personal skills.....etc...... ( this is like a put down for all of us ).
Now the case is closed.
Thank you.
Wow, I was planning on go to Meet and greet and hope I can meet some hot chicks. Thanks ChgoCPS. Now for sure I am not going to any Meet and Greet at all. I want to make sure I am not one of the
Wow... I was planning on going to Meet and Greet to meet some hot chicks.. Thanks for telling me.
For sure I am not going, because I don't want to be one of them..
Thanks ChgoCPS
They love new meat...especially if he's under 60 and not fat, bald and ugly 
And most of the hookers hit the sack around 10:00....it's tough to stay awake later for most of them.
Plus you can see the competition...albeit they'll think you're someone's son. So I doubt it would be competition from that POV. But those old guys...they do have fat wallets LOL
For sure I am not going, because I don't want to be one of them..
Thanks ChgoCPS
How old are you...13? WTF are you talking about with your "case closed" bs? I was talking about ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, not just physical attributes, but sure, we can include all of those too. Stop pulling things out of your ass, and actually learn to READ a post, before you reply with dumb shit that makes no sense! No one said ALL clients are old, fat or bald...well, except for Fido, and that's exactly who you sound like. BTW, how many male clients have you had? None? Then, exactly how do you know what any provider sees on a regular basis? Ah, that's right...you don't lol.
I also point out to you that not all customers are ugly, fat, bald head, smell bad, lack of personal skills, etc..... I am thank you that you excluded me.
I am sure you wonder why I writing this??? OH well, because it is very hard for me and I am sure it is very hard for all other good looking hobbies here. reading all the non sense about all the customers here are fat, old, ugly, lack of personal skills.....etc...... ( this is like a put down for all of us ).
Now the case is closed.
Thank you.
Hey London: I can tell you are really piss now, by asking if I am 13 years old. Sorry, I am not 13 years old, and I won't ask you if you are 13 years old. ( I have more class than that ).
You are right, you had more male clients than I am, and you should know better. Like I told you before, all other good looking hobbies guys are still around......
They just never find you yet........ and you keep getting the old, fat, ugly one.....
Now hope we can change subject.
Thank you
How about you learn to write past a 3rd grade level, and people might understand what the hell you're trying to convey. Yea dude...you're some super model because hookers you PAID say that about you, and all the clients I see are old, fat, and ugly...right lol. Thanks for proving my point...you bought the bs.
Do take your toys, and GTFO...you sound like a complete retard. FYI, guys who have to yap about how great they are and how bad others are, well...you can figure that out for yourself bwahhahaha.
-- Modified on 11/7/2013 8:44:40 PM
Okay, Keep making fun and put people down... enough is enough. Remember I told you I am keeping my cool? Now you are crossing my line.
May be I don't pass my 3rd grade level, but I still make good enough money to hire people like you to go down on me.
And please don't tell me you love to suck dick so much and this is the reason you are doing this....
And please don't tell me you love to have sex with the fat, ugly, and lonely looking men.
Now if I were you, I would stop here. The more you are trying to put me down or making fun of me, I will promise give you more word that you may not like to hear
What are you going to do Thomas? Call me fat? Yah...been done, thanks. Old? I don't lie about my age, so again, na na na boo boo. You're a fkin idiot..end of story! No, I am not here because I LOVE sucking strange d*ck, you moron. The rate should give you a clue about how much I do NOT have to work lol. I am here for 'extra' money, not my sole source of income...any idiot knows with as little as I work, I would be starving if that were the case.
Anyone can love sex when they get paid what I do, and only have to do it twice a month. Sure, I love 90 percent of the men I see...they are not morons like you ha ha ha ha. Now please, toss whatever dumb ass insults you can muster, because they won't affect me, my business or my life one bit. When a guy as dumb as you insults me, it just reassures me that my marketing plan is working to turn you OFF.
Why are you now contradicting your proclamation that 'not all hobbyists are fat, old, and bald?' You said you don't believe I like servicing such men, but a minute ago, you yelled about how so many of you are NOT like that. So, which is it? If ALL of my clients meet that description and I only see 2 a damn MONTH, what does that say about the majority of you on a whole? Gosh, this is too fkin easy. You will never be an Attorney for damn sure.
No, actually you don't pay ME to do a damn thing...you pay women who are willing to see a guy who sounds like a fkin 9 year old ha ha ha. You don't choose me...I choose YOU! You can't even see my fkin website without a password...yah, I really want your money bwahahhaa. So bad, I don't even have a single photo on the internet anymore, yet I am still seeing clients...not 2 a day mind you, but I am not here for volume or I would be charging half of what I do. Check Mate.
-- Modified on 11/8/2013 10:03:46 AM
Wow, I can tell you are really piss. to answer your question, NO sorry I am not 13 years old, and I won't ask how young you are..... because I am going to keep my cool.
Yes you are absolutely right about the male clients. Yes you have more male clients than I am. I have NONE. ( and thanks god I have NONE ).
Now, are you going to tell me most of your clients are fat, ugly, bald, and lack of personality? etc.......
If your answer is NO, you had some good looking customers.... ( good for you..... after all, not all of us are ugly, fat,etc.. ).
If you answer is YES, for the most part.......Oh well, because the good looking guys didn't find you yet....
Now I am going home now...and good bye
are it is pathetic.
Like others said, just go to a M&G.
You will see something unique. Bunch of women running towards some dude who would not get even 1st look at any other event and screaming "OMG HANDSOME I MISSED YOU" Sometimes it is "OMG I AM SOOO HAPPY TO HAVE MET YOU"
By the time poor fellow walks out of that bar he really thinks they all wanted him
You are rarely turned down by a provider unless your screening is lax, but in the real world that's not the same playing field. Just because you got 100 hookers to tell you how great you are because of that envelope on the table, does not mean you really are all that lol...same can be said for us.
Sorry, did not mean to burst any bubbles here.
I definitely feel the same way.
The hobby world has been a confidence boost. I never though of myself as being a particular good or capable lover and now I know otherwise!
It has also added a degree of happiness and satisfaction that without question carries over to every aspect of my life, both personal and professional. I was always a happy person, satisfied with my lot in life. Now I am even happier. :
Fucking hookers doesn't make you a better person, but it puts sex into a better perspective.
Guys have been led around by the dick since the beginning of time, getting laid regularly mitigates that, and does give many men a renewed sense of confidence, or at least it takes away some of the desperation they might otherwise exude on that first date if they haven't been laid in six months.
Been there, and experienced what you have to a certain extent. But that's about me and while it was a good learning experience, it hasn't been the best part of this thing.
To answer your question, yes, there have been many moments when I "got it". Epiphany, cloud parting, smack you in the head style. What I've gotten is a better insight (but still not claiming to understand) towards women.
I've been afforded the opportunity of meeting women the level of which I never would have in any other situation. "Out of my league"? Sure. Good way to put it.
What has surprised me, much more than once, is that once you have a few meetings and get to know the ones who drop their guard a bit....with all they have going for them...they are many times self-conscious still.
They are attractive enough to do this, smart enough to run their business, strong enough to be able to have a separate persona and keep a different life from family and friends, bold and fearless enough to meet total strangers alone, etc. Yet at the end of the day, with all they have going for them, some still worry if they are good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough......
Geez....there is no easy path for anyone it seems.
The 'hobby' provides more benefits than no strings attached sex, or a way for selfish rude fucks to get laid and feel powerful.
Sometimes....it simply affords us the chance to meet people, have some fun, and learn a bit in the process.
Just sayin'
DD
DD, you get it. A little more experience and you begin to see that you don't have an exclusive on shyness, insecurity, etc.. Once we get that people are people and relax about ourselves, I think we can relate to others much better... on a more human and understanding level.
And yes, the hobby for me is now more just for fun, adventure, meeting new people and broadening horizons. And supporting a few more college funds, of course... lol.
Just like you guys, definite increase in the confidence level. And I agree with Dirty Diageo also--it is amazing how some incredibly beautiful women still think they don't measure up to their peers.
Another benefit: It's actually been a plus for my marriage. Really. I'm lucky enough to have had overnight or multi-day dates with a few very special young ladies. In my experience, there's no way that either party can keep up "the act" for that long--that GFE fantasy becomes very "real-seeming", very quickly.
When one of my fantasy GFs has had enough of my BS and (donation be damned!) calls me out on it, this little voice in the back of my head reminds me just how similar the situation is to something that happened with the Mrs not long ago. If I'm hearing the same thing from two different people, maybe they're right and I'm wrong? Is that possible?
Sends me back to reality with a new and better outlook. It's amazing stuff, this hobby of ours.
For me, it is usually much better, more productive therapy than any single session I've had with a therapist.
When I'm with some one I'm familiar with and feel comfortable with I'm able to not only explore un-experienced areas of sex, but also practice asking, telling what I want. That time is more productive accomplishing, making changes I deem positive for me than group therapy sessions.
A few times while chatting with some one, we seem to both feel comfortable enough to chat about some of the things in our background that may have strongly shaped why we are both there. Once in a while, during that process it seems as if can identify better with each other as just people. That encounter and process feels as if it was better than a therapy session.
If I have a problem and decide to hire a person to solve that problem, like a plumber, or tech. for fixing my HVAC (I viewed finding some one(s) to explore sexuality similarly), many times we will chat as they work. Once they've done what I hired them to do, if I believe thy have done either just good or excellent work, I'll show them a shelf with pottery I've made and suggest that if they see something they like to take it as a token of my appreciation for fixing what I wanted fixed.
Doing the same for an escort is more rewarding for me since their help is so much more personal. Can't say i've ever felt that way at the end of a therapy session. Never felt that way at the end of a court appearance with a lawyer.
Deprived
I started out when I was quite poor actually. I would scrimp and save to go see a gal for a 15 minute hand job or blow job if I was lucky.
Interspersed with that were about 7-8 affairs with various civies that would last anywhere from a month to maybe 6 months when I didn't have to pay for it.
I felt that relying on providers was a negative in terms of becoming well adjusted enough to maintain a long term civie relationship.
I finally got into therapy and my therapist thought that seeing providers was just fine and a good school for how to deal with women, so I continued and finally did meet someone for a long term relationship and we finally got married.
When that started to go south after about 8 years I went back to the hobby and never looked back.
To me, it was not an epiphany but rather a long process.
A good session still does put a nice spring in my step (Though does dent my wallet, but that's another story.)
Participating as a provider in this "hobby" has ruined dating for me, but in a good way. It's sad to say but my clients treat me so much better than the majority of the dating pool out there. I mean why waste your time with a guy who's idea of a date is going out and getting drunk (you pay for your own drinks) and then have him try to snivel his way into your pants when you can have a nice gentlemen who treats you like a queen, tries to ensure you are recieving pleasure as well and then pays you for your time! Ha! Degrading my ass, modern dating is more degrading then this profession.
Agreed! I enjoy my time with my clients so much more then most of my "civvie" dating. That's actually how I got started in this biz. I unknowingly entered a sd/sb relationship and he treated me like a princess. The rest is history. But I also feel you get what you give in this biz. If you show class and respect you get class and respect. This thread is very uplifting and some of the most positive posts I've seen on ter since getting back on. Thanks fellas
Xoxo
Taylor
A previous scenerio, I'm working (civilian working not playing) with three women, two of the women are average in looks and body and the other is a total knockout. When the knockout talks I find myself being more attentive even though I know that I'd never have a snowball's chance to be with her. Is that unfair to the other two women? Absolutely! They most likely have just as much valuable input to the task as the hot one, but because I'm a man (visual creatures that we are) I show unwarranted favouritism to the hot one, even though I'm aware I do it. Now that I hobby, and I'm having great sex with as hot or hotter women and the knockout loses her Kryptonite effect on me and I treat all three women the same. Now there have been times that I'm traveling to a site and I hadn't planned on hobbying but there is a hot woman at that site and I have to schedule a date because I don't want her to have that power over me, again I completely understand that I would have no chance with her. So, the hobby allows me to fix a personality defect, and I get laid...how cool is that?
My first time with a provider came when I was at an all-time low in self-confidence, after several years of a sexless marriage. Dealing with the stress of starting up a new business, working long hours for little money. After that session I was walking on air for days, self-confidence restored and the "needy" and "beaten down" vibe driven away. I felt like I could take on the world, and people around me noticed. Women approached me!
It was an epiphany of sorts. Gaining self-confidence, losing the neediness, gaining skills and experience. All benefits of the hobby that show up in many aspects of your life, including with civvie women, with clients.. in nearly every situation where relating to other people is required for success.
Has anyone else experienced similar benefits or moments where you "got it" about something as a result of hobbying?
but only if she is not an idiot, I don't suffer stupid people, even if they are hot, but I will confess to still thinking with my dick, and I ALWAYS think I have a chance with a woman, unless she's married, and that's because I don't do married women. well I am sure I have done some married providers, but that's different.
Not to mention that a 22 year old hot girl would be virtually impossible to pick up and have sex with in the civvie world.
It was never a matter of confidence or lack of sex. I have and get plenty in real life while juggling a few GF's and a sex kitten here and there. They are just older then what I pay for in the hobby.
Yes, I get it and I like it!
For men, those who are always too busy working, in a bad relationship, can not get sex for any other reasons ...
For women, those who need money (some may want more than minimum wage), need independence, need more sex ...
Sex is something everyone needs; money is something everyone needs. Too bad it's illegal when the two mix.
The money and the sex mixed aren't illegal. You just have to go about it differently than in the hobbying world. You could get involved with someone and pay her living expenses. She'd be your "mistress". That's legal. You could get married. :O You could buy her all sorts of stuff (maybe stuff she's said she needs), and that would be legal.
You just can't hand her money each time you see her and have it be legal.
Makes me wonder: if a guy took care of bills for a provider (paid her mortgage, for example), and then had sex with her once a month, could either be charged with prostitution?
Well put. Just starting out in the hobby and my confidence and general happiness is up. Neediness gone.
I'm in a menopausal but otherwise happy marriage, but my spouse has almost no sex drive. Sex maybe a few times a year was really getting me down. However, I've been wanting to jump my wife's bones a LOT more since I started hobbying, and she's responding to my new found horniness.
-- Modified on 11/7/2013 10:19:46 AM
Just finished an interesting book about the hobby that is told from both the provider's and the client's POV. Although this story contains much more, there is fascinating insight into both of their internal workings. If you have experience with the hobby from either end, then I highly recommend this engaging read:
No my confidence is as low as it usually is. Hobbying just makes the solitude a little less sexless and a little more tolerable. Actually, quite a bit more tolerable. No more going years in between mediocre sexual encounters. It's wonderful to get to have sex several times a year, and actually enjoy it.
And many of them apply to me, so I won't repeat them. The only thing I'd add is that, if you're confident enough and click with a provider on a personal level, you can end up in a pretty nice friendship. I'm lucky to have had several. I've said it before, but I think this game works the opposite from civvy dating. With a civvy, you get to know her and spend varying amounts of time with her before things turn to sex. With a provider it's backwards. You have sex first and, if you actually like each other, a friendship can develop. Where it goes from there depends on what each of you wants. But nothing can ever develop if you don't have the honest confidence to let your real qualities reveal themselves. With me, that confidence didn't come from fucking hookers for $$$. It's just the result of life experience.
that has to come from within. What it does do however is eliminate the mystery of having sex with women supposedly out of one's league, whether that be looks or age. I honestly don't know if I would think that I still have a chance with a 20 something civvie woman if I wasn't fucking 20 somethings on a regular basis. In my mind I just don't think that it is any kind of big deal, so in real life I don't treat it like a big deal.
If a man truly believes a woman is "out of his league" she is going to pick up on it and it will be a self fulfilling prophecy. If a man truly believe he has a chance, then more likely than not he will have a shot. I don't feel the least bit uncomfortable talking up a twenty five year old. I am not a walking hard on since I get laid all the time. It allows me to simply be myself with being "on the make" all the time. Some of you will get this, others won't, but that's how I feel about how the hobby makes the rest of my life better.
I've felt the confidence that comes with this hobby, but it isn't the motivating factor that pushed me into this activity.
I'm another dude with an SO who isn't the person he married, in a position of tremendous personal responsibly where I'm relied upon by many. It's the intimacy I'm after, because it's what I've been missing for a long time. I was very young and inexperienced going into my marriage, but last year was almost literally my last year. I'm alive by chance right now, and realizing I missed out on a lot, living a sterile and 'responsible' life. I'm trying to make up for missed chances, knowing full well I do not know how much time I have left.
The confidence is nice, but is indeed false. It's the intimacy, the human contact, and passion that drive me. I'd spend more time with providers if I could. I'm curious about the business end, as a matter of intellectual interest. I hope to become a good regular to someone one day. A possible benefit to me would be an interesting and new type of honest friendship.
The biggest benefit so far has been to make me a happier person. I where my mind on my sleeve, and people can tell I'm not as stressed out and anxious as I normally am, SO included. This is a big deal really.
should be given TER's URL when served with the papers!
What a harsh conundrum that would cause in the Civvi Female community. 