Try thinking about something other than sex. Do you expect any answer that doesn't validate your need for xxx sex? Sheesh..........you suck at choosing a unbiased control group. Life isn't ALL about sex

How about this scenario? Home life=awesome, except for this: wife is strict vanilla, I'm mildly kinky. There's items on the menu that I really like that she refuses to indulge in but she objects to getting these desires met elsewhere. Meanwhile, I refuse to go to the grave never having indulged, so here I am!

Both, for staying married

Even the hookers won't comply with many types of activities...and they are getting paid directly.

I certainly don't care if you cheat on her, nor do I care if she puts out or not

She's got a right to stay in her comfort zone and you've got a right to satisfy your kinks.  Just don't try blaming her to justify what you're going to do.  Man up and do it.

Did you have the same sex life before you married her

I was kinda waiting for him to answer his own question.

You are just a human for wanting to do crazy things, and she is also a woman for not wanting to do certain things.. No one is jerk here..

You are doing something INTENTIONAL that would hurt her. She is doing something UNINTENTIONAL that hurts you.

For taking time out to read this entire thread knowing full well that I will never get these three minutes back

If someone told you you are the bigger jerk, would that stop you from stepping out?  

It sounds like she's very conscious of her limits, which is fine.  But her refusal is, by definition, intentional.  Does that make it OK for him to cheat?  I never did when I was married but I try not to judge, especially since he has not shared any info about what the rest of their marriage is like.

-- Modified on 11/14/2013 6:50:50 PM

It comes down to how they each presented themselves for marriage. Did he know he was a kink meister at that time? If yes, I stand by my statement. If no, your position trumps mine.

I've been married to my wife ten years today.

Wouldn't you be surprised LOL

He never said he knew about his kinks before he married her.  Re-read his OP and you'll see.  Never understand why people are so quick to judge.  People grow and change during a marriage and sometimes they evolve in different directions.  That's life.  Judge not.

Nah, I have a great marriage.

Civvies will stalk you… we most likely will never call you again, hahaha… of course because we're being discreet, so at least you know some chick isn't going to show up all obsessed, etc.

…and look at your marriage as a whole.  If she is a good woman and is good to you then why would you go behind her back and risk losing everything (women always find out!) over a fantasy?!  Put things into perspective and don't allow yourself to always be thinking of your sexual desires because although sex is nice…it's not everything!

he KNEW was not that way when he MARRIED her to begin with. If I all of a sudden want to fk two guys at once 5 years after being married and can't control that impulse, is that my fault or my man's? Duh....let him take up golf. People who can't control their emotions are weak...plain and simple. A 7 year old has better self control than some grown men here.

That is my plan.  After two failed marriages, my policy is to only consider marriage to a provider with the stipulation she would continue to work.  Great plan, huh?
As to the OP, neither you know of I know what either party knew when they got married.  Which is why, in the absence of more info, I'm not judging them.

-- Modified on 11/15/2013 10:39:08 AM

I reread it about 7 times. Sure, I haven't had coffee yet.. But..

I am just commented from what HE wrote, and it came off as he knew what and who his wife was at the time he married her, and is now shocked that she does not share his new found kink. People do change yes, but you can't also expect your mate to change just because you do. That would be like marrying a guy who swore up and down he never wanted to bring home other people to get a gal to marry him on that basis (she felt strongly about that) and then a few years later, he is asking to bring home another woman, and mad she has not changed her mind about it.