I've read over the past few weeks various requests of hobbiests and providers about how each thinks of the other... and about our delicate professional/personal intertwining of the two.  It has become clear to me, over the past few years, that real genuine feelings of affection does occur between hobbiests and providers... and when there is illness or death, the sympathy or the mourning is genuine... and very much heart felt... so my question is sort of multifacted....

when a provider sees a gent - in his, shall we say, more mature adulthood (Above 55) what do you think?  Do you wonder what your life will be "Above 55?"  

Many of us (male and female) have expressed the desire to not find a mate... rather we would wish to live our life - experiencing all that our freedom offers us as an adventure... that is to say - there is nothing wrong with being married, but for us, the freedom is just too irresistable.... or we feel that what we would have to offer to a marriage is not enough (as is in my case).

So as a second thought for comment on, I would wonder, when you see a gent, does he to you, represent reasons to not wish to "pair up" (be it marriage or SO status), or does he represent a "gee, I wish I had found this gem earlier in my life?"  or are you more realistic... and ignore the person and personality in front of you - and just go to the job at hand...

I know, that is kind of crude... but some of you are in your 20's but some are not, and would your answer have changed as you grew older?  

and for the record, most of the women I find myself highly attracted to are older (how much older - I don't know as I think they are all 29!!!)

And for those who consider this post to be a slam, it is not, as several events in my civie life... just have made me think about such stuff... and Some on this board, I have found to always have interesting perspectives that I would not have thought of... but wish I had.

You must be high on something?

-- Modified on 10/23/2008 7:40:35 AM

I didn't have a clue. All I knew was that I'd been without for a long, long time, and I wanted a BJ and piece of ass. What I got was so much more than I was expecting. Then I found TER, and lurked for several months. Coming to the realization that there were people here who had actually developed friendships, I started posting and replying to the posts of the people who interested me. A year or so later, I've even made a few friends here. Some I have met, and some I hope to meet, men and women alike.

Do any of the ladies think of me after I leave? I think maybe some do. Exactly how they think of me, only they can say.

I still think of some of my favorites of years ago today.  I think of the ones I have really adored and hope they are happy and well. I can think of four of them I have not seen for years.  Each of them haunted my thoughts for days after each time I had seen them, but that is no the kind of thought I still have of some of the great ladies I have met.  I just wonder if they are well and hope they are.

I too am over 55 and I know many gentlemen think of me often after our visit.

Let's put age into perspective here...Only the men who are looking for true model material put that on the top of their list when choosing a lady. Most stick to the facts they read and are looking for something a little deeper.

For many ladies I think they are more interested in how you treat them and anything else is purely superficial. If you have enjoyed each others company I am sure she will think of you at some point. Will she put a name to that thought ? Yes if you did make a connection.

Do I think about the gentlemen I see after our visit...Yes, many times and I can never predict what will make them popup in my thoughts.

I see gentlemen from 21-80...Thats right, I have a friend I have been seeing for 30 years and he is now 80. Both of us have changed thru the years. I never think about anything but what a wonderful man he is. The kisses and compasion come very easy.

Kisses Haley

last far longer than most marriages... I suspect that is true... and has always been the case... there are legends of men, introducing their sons to the ins and outs of sex by taking them to the mistress they had been with for years...

and telling the mistress, teach my son... etc.

While I would not do that, I think the thought - cliche as it is... well, cliches become that because there is more truth to it than we would like to ascribe...

Oddly enough, I like Hungry think of some of the providers I saw when I first returned to this hobby... and two who I saw long ago before my marriage... fondly... and wonder if they are well and happy....   and that is my true desire for each of them.

Hi Bizzaro - I was married, once, 31 years ago, for 2 years. I have had *many* "hobby" relationships that lasted longer than that!  Once upon a time not long ago, as I lay in a coma, I received a visit, unknown to me at the time, from a lady (in the hobby) that I knew over ten years before. The lady and I had formed an LTR that eventually involved living together for almost three years. The lady heard through the grapevine of mutual friends what had happened to me, and flew to the States from Japan, just to make sure that I was receiving all of the best care, and to burn incense for me. She left before I "awoke", and did not want me to know she had gone out of her way to "watch over" me. The irony? We had parted on not the best of terms. My great joy is that we are communicating again and coming to terms with old baggage. We won't be lovers again, but that is not what's important.....

I am 35 and have only been providing for two years.  In my younger years, going through college, traveling across the states, fishing in Alaska, I never met the man of my dreams.  I had pictured in my head for a long time exactly the type of man that I would be attracted to: his look, his occupation, his mannerisms.  
I got into many relationships but never met.. "him".  
Not until I started providing.  One day he walked into my studio and I couldn't believe it.  He was the exact replica of everything I had ever wanted in a man.  And I had that feeling of, "Man, why couldn't I have met him before?  Why couldn't I have been the one to meet him in college and fall in love and get married and have that life.. with him?"  
And I can start to feel that way everytime he comes to see me.  But then, you know, I love my life.... and he loves his wife.
It feels so good to know that the man of my dreams really does exist, and that I was right: he really does like me, and is attracted to me and maybe would have been if we'd met earlier in life.
But I enjoy thinking of him as perfect.  I would hate the mundane and often dramatic experiences of what I assume marriage would be like.  Even with someone as gorgeous as him.  I would hate to see him in a less than "man of my dreams" reality.

So, even though I think of him quite often.  I'm very happy.... extremely happy.. with the arrangement our lives have turned out to be.

I still can't get someone I saw last weekend out of my head - not for any deeper pining, but simply because I thoroughly enjoyed his company.

When I make a connection with someone, of course, I think upon them with great fondness, affection, and lust.  However, I am extremely happy and secure in both of my relationships - so, those "what if" types of thoughts rarely come up.

We all like to think of ourselves as "special" to someone... me?  well, I probably am... sort of... but seriously, in this hobby - I've met several ladies who - under different circumstances (mine - NOT theirs) I would have tried my best - to interest them in being ms. Superdude... but it is nice to know - that there are ladies out there who embody what I would prefer... and it is not always looks... but rather "the look"   as I say, the one time in my life when I've been jealous was in church - as my squabbling ex and I would sit there... and I would see a couple a few pews ahead of us... and during the sermon... she would reach out, just to touch him... and he would turn to her, and smile... I was so jealous of that.... it is hard to imagine...

Thanks, a lovely post.

Sometime in my late 20s’ early 30s’ I realized I never really wanted to be married … I just wanted the party and attention. Lol  Seriously I still love and am in love with my ex.‘s  all of them  But I also love being single … The clients that I share some more personal  detail with and vies versa  is just an other perk. I can honestly say I have a true love for them  I do care about them as humans and for the people they are and how that relates to me.  And yes I have thought um I wonder what if .. When. Then I remember that I like my life the way it is and I am grateful to have these people be a part of my life.