to be in a relationship to feel content, or complete? Seriously! From the dawn of time men have been able to sustain their happiness without being committed and were never looked upon as "lonely" or "needy" when eating alone, or going see a movie by themselves. Why is it, when you see a woman alone you automatically assume she must be miserable because no guy is around? Do people really think that we are all the same in regards to our needs for intimacy and relationships? Why?

For the past 5 years I have been single, and you can bet your ass I don't "need" a man in my life. It is the most amazing feeling when you are not responsible for another person's emotions, worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing, etc. and I think too many people take being single for granted. Now, I have been married twice so I guess I could see a woman wanting that who has never had it, but to assume that all women "need" a man/partner to be complete, is really naive. I think men give themselves far too much credit at times, in regards to their roles in a woman's life. Sure, some women are clingy, needy, and insecure, but that usually stems from them not ever doing shit on their own or being able to survive without a man, but not every woman is that way.

There are so many examples of successful, happy women who have never been married, and some who never desire to be. If she wants sex, not hard to find either.

It is as if some think we can't possibly do anything for ourselves, and that we (like men) cannot just focus on a career, immediate family, etc. and actually ENJOY it. Does anyone else love being alone? I am not talking about being a total hermit with no contact from the opposite sex, but is it really that much of a big deal to have to wake up and go to bed with the same person every day/night? Is it an absolute must to freaking text or email a person every damn day, without them getting mad when you don't feel like it?

I don't know how some of you do it...stay in marriages and relationships for years on end, and not go totally nuts. I really don't. I am all for marriage, but just wonder if that is even possible for me anymore, with the way I feel about relationships and all the energy it takes to maintain one. I think it's nice, but I don't think it should be the norm or expected from EVERY person. Clearly, there are some who are built for relationships, and others who are not.

I get the whole nurturing and breeding aspect, but I have a child so that's taken care of. I don't think that was the only reason I wanted a guy at the time though lol. I could have just gone to a sperm bank, and got more support for the life that was created.

-- Modified on 3/25/2013 12:35:31 PM

typically men have sports to fall back on..

If you are a baseball and a football fan, then that's 10 months of the year..Feb and March are the most boring, but I typically fill those up by hurling stones from the overpass and slinging poop. Also tripping old ladies can be fun too..

Yeah its hard to fathom...because boys will be boys and girls will be girls..

If it were not for sex, I don't think the genders would even talk to each other..... Whats the point?

Would world be more fun to live in if everyone was gay?

Almost everyone needs relationships. Stop mistaking some controlling partnership for love, and it will make better sense.

Again, that is total bullshit. Not everyone needs a "romantic" relationship to be happy. If you do, you're a codependent. If your happiness is dependent only on another person, you've got issues. Not "you" but in general. What happens when that person leaves or heaven forbid passes away? Are you going to spend the rest of your life miserable? I certainly would not.

I would also never assume that because I needed something, that the rest of the world must also need it...projection is a bitch. Not every woman wants a child either, so there.

I think it's hilarious to assume that ALL people are weak, needy, or desperate for love...I can assure you, many are not. They get love from the various other areas in their life, and that does not always include some romantic love. Unconditional love is in abundance.

-- Modified on 3/25/2013 12:49:19 PM

I withdraw the proposal.  BITCH...............LOL

But being interdependent is good.. It enhances and enriches our lives..

Having relationship is not bad, but going dumpster diving to find one is bad.. You are better off single than be a lousy dependent relationship, where you lose your soul and respect for yourself...

-- Modified on 3/25/2013 11:50:32 AM

Whew...thank the lawd lol!

That reads like a post from a needy lonely woman.....LOL

I agree wholeheartedly with your post. I'm single and loving it. Now let's sip some champagne and toast to the good life. Cheers.

So no relationships for me. Sometimes, people can appreciate that, sometimes they just see me as a lonely girl. Either way, I don't care. It's none of my business what they're thinking, I have my own to take care of anyways

And I'm so happy to be alone and on my own now.  The big difference is, unlike after the first marriage when I felt like a loser being alone, this time I'm quite happy with the freedom, peace and quiet I have.  Not to mention my ability to do whatever I want when I want it.  Selfish?  Damn right.  But it's right for me.  I have zero interest in another long-term relationship.  I just want to fuck hot young girlies until I drop, and I plan on spending my kids' inheritance to do it.  I am off to a good start.

After being on the playground (industry) emotional things changed a little bit...

So LR, I'm beside you! Nope I don't "need" a man in my life either.

Do I want one? Um sometimes yes and sometimes no...
(a couple of nights ago I watched Dirty Dancing for the 100th time, and the entire next day I was looking around for a Jonny)

Do I do well with a cell phone leash? Hell no.
Checking in with someone? too independent, again, hell no.

If I were to ever get into a relationship again, he'd have to
give me my space whenever I need it (a pilot would be great!!),
and be secure with himself (no jealousy) when I'm doing my own thing...

A lot of "miss you sex", (on different beaches) would make it perfect!!

many old school thinkers, men and women, don't get it.  Plus it's not always true, even when they say so!  Not speaking of you, but I do find that many who profess to independent and happy, are just putting up a protective front.  As for me, after many years of having others depend on me for emotional and financial assurances, I am quite happy being alone and unencumbered.  Still, many of my friends who are married or in relationships keep trying push me back into the fold.  I just laugh and say "misery loves company"!  Right?  

I am very attracted to truely independent women who are secure in themselves, comfortable being alone, and sometimes want, but don't NEED to be with someone.  I find that combination to be fairly rare, though perhaps less so in this world.  

-- Modified on 3/25/2013 3:19:19 PM

Actually, it is the stupidity of man kind that inspired such a post. I was eating dinner alone in a nice restaurant the other night, and it was as if every guy was thinking "poor her." Poor me...how about poor you with your fat ass wife and 18 kids, who has not gotten a blow job for 3 years, and has to pay hookers. Nah...all good here babe, but thanks. I get all the sex and attention I need right here from you bitches lol.

Men who assume a woman NEEDS you, really need to take a long hard look in the mirror...I can assure you, many of us only need your ass for certain things, and it's not love lol. If you honestly think women can't be just as slutty as guys, think again. Many only want a man about 2 hours a week, and a different one at that. I am not one of those, but I know many who are.

-- Modified on 3/25/2013 4:21:50 PM

LOL..um ok.  I think people confuse needing love, with needing ROMANTIC love that is usually never without strings, demands, and conditions. I will take the type of love friends and family provide, as my first choice. It would be nice to have a guy love me one day a week, then be gone, but since that is not going to happen, I can't exactly be selfish.

-- Modified on 3/25/2013 4:25:37 PM

Amen girlie. Freedom is golden!

Thank you. I would be lying if I said I did not want "someone special" around sometimes, but ALL the time when I can't even take a damn shit or breathe? Hell no...y'all can keep that mess. You can love and be best friends with someone (male or female) without living with them or marrying them. You get the very same satisfaction without all the bs.

It is like the seasons..
When it's the middle of the summer, and hot as hell..
I wish it were winter.
When I am freezing my ass off. I wish it were summer.
But as soon as I can't take it anymore..
It turns to spring, or fall. The turning seasons.
Those are the seasons I don't want to end.
But they are seasons of change..
They have to change into something more constant.
I just go in circles like that.


I am always looking for the relationship that is no work.
Why does it have to be work?
I don't even know what that means... Working at a relationship.
The way I see it. If you have to work at it. Your just not right for a match.
There will always be a loser in whatever compromise is made after this work.
That is the seed that grows into an ugly plant.

It is because so many lonely people have perpetuated this bs, for so long. I find it a double standard saying a man can be alone and be totally happy, but a woman can't. Get real lol. Once you have been attached, been in love a few times, and did that whole thing, you realize what you want is not that many times, or at least not for a while. I never thought I would reach a point in life where I was truly elated to be on my own, but I think I paid the price to get that happiness through years of being dependent. So many women are literally brainwashed into thinking they will be miserable without a man...um, you won't be, if you are happy with yourself.

-- Modified on 3/25/2013 6:42:40 PM

So true, my friend...so true. I think true happiness comes from appreciating where you are, when you are and not wanting something you don't have. When you get what you think you want, it just might not be so great lol. Then, a year down the road you want something else.

I agree, and must admit to a bit of selfishness on my part but it's not like I don't yell this shit from the rooftops at the beginning lol. I simply am not cut out for the long term where romantic relationships are concerned. Maybe one day? Possibly, but I can't imagine ever being truly happy that way like my parents are.

Hi Curly,

... or other derogatory names, like the "C" word, regardless of their station in life!  Aliases, other than the one people logged in when signing up for TER, should be banned !Let's see... Oh yeah, guns should be outlawed!! Now that's a few ideas I've spoken up about & disagreed w/ people who took opposite positions & posted them on the board, sans an alias!!  I hope I refreshed your memory & will continue to disagree when a subject comes up warranting an opposing view!! Just Sayin'

when they have the lawn boy and cable guy!

I don't need ONE man, I need about 100 temporarily...just like they need me. NSA~

PM me if you have VIP and we can take this offline...

Who are the "so many women who are successful and happy who have never been married"? How do you know they wouldn't be MORE successful and happier if they found that someone that compliments their weaknesses and accentuates their positive traits? Also, while having dinner alone in this nice restaurant how many of these men told you you looked sad and alone and therefore must be miserable? I'm willing to bet the answer is none. So then its fair to say you were assuming everyone was thinking "poor her".
   For what its worth I'm just playing devils advocate. Been single forever now and have no problems with it. Have friends, family, and the beautiful women in this biz that enrich my life. Do get tired of the family asking the "when are you gonna settle down and get married" crap but I guess thats the way it goes.

It is something I hear from guys and gals all the time, when they see a woman eating alone. Guys do it all the time, but if a woman does it, we must have to do it, because it can't possibly be that we just want to eat alone. It used to make me seriously uncomfortable, so I would always have a friend with me...now, not so much, but I don't like the glances lol. I've actually done it myself a time or two, before I met other women who were just like me.

I am not saying I know that "those happily single" women, would not be happiER with someone, but I am saying it is naive to ASSume everyone would. Not every guy cheats, not every woman is faithful, not every gay guy wants to fk you, and not every woman or man who is single, has to be miserable, just because the majority would be. I hate to say it, but this board is pretty much an indicator of how "happily" married, many people are, and it's nothing I would ever trade being single for lol.

So you see...there might be that few years of bliss (if I can make it even that long) but what is there to look forward to after the novelty wears off? Friendship? Can have that without being married or shacked up. Sex? Yea right...tell that to the guys who are here, but a woman at my age can pretty much walk into any bar and get laid. Not interested.  Someone to depend on? Again, not really and you don't need a marriage to have that. A best friend you don't fk, is just that...most guys here have that now, and look where they are at.

I can't really disagree with anything your saying. Some of your previous post on this thread came off as bitter, angry woman. Not this one. Couple of years ago my mom passed away and my dad (step) was a complete mess. To the point of I was worried he may try and join her. So I asked, was it worth it. His reply was of course it was. Because of her my life was complete (cheesy Jerry Maguire reference? I think so), I have two great sons and I couldn't imagine what my life would have been like without her. I think the key is finding the right one. Almost NOBODY ever finds it so they settle for the best they can. I'm not try to judge others but NOONE who partakes in this business can claim to have found that "one". I don't believe in a soul mate but I can't deny the possiblity such a person does exist for all of us. Too many variables and to much "life" can get in the way. My philosophy is worry about your own happiness and fuck everyone else. What happens happens and all we can do is enjoy the ride. This business may provide short term pleasure but the longer I'm in it the more I can see the potential for long term harm. Turns women into object we want to "own" if only for a short period of time and for the ladies it turns us men into a ridiculous caricature of the dogs were are thought to be. Of course most of us are just that but there plenty of normal guys and girls out there who could care less about all of this.

No, I am not bitter...just me. Things that make me bitter on occasion are people who try to project their shit on you, just because that is what works for them. I still believe in marriage, relationships, and being faithful, but that does not mean I can do it, or need it just because I believe IN it. I also respect marriages and relationships that can stand the test of time, but based on my track record, that's not happening for me lol.

agreed