This date sounds like a sour disaster of resentment waiting to happen on his side, I personally would prefer him clarifying with me if i ran a special, in order to assure the date is going to be positive. I do not like negative dates.
If you go back and read my post you will notice I mentioned that a lot of people do not like to talk about money due to the faux pas of that in this industry, and what might be going through her head. I have no problem talking about money, because I have to. I require deposits for every date. And if somebody has a question, I'll answer it. No problem. My practice is different than many. But my set up leaves no need for questions, because it is pretty clear. Before talking I would in some way have verified that they are legitimate. (So in this case my answer would have been clear IF he was fully screened out and I knew he was serious, which it sounds like the case here.) I don't answer questions unless it's about an actual date that's going to actually happen. My rates are also pretty straightforward across-the-board, no deals or specials. Just VIP packages For people who regularly see me. Even that is across the board. In my case, this isn't a "fantasy" just because money is involved. But with many, many clients, they don't see it that way, so it is definitely a touchy subject, especially for the person trying to make the sale. I think both people here are trying not to fuck up the date. That's thinking the best, at least. Haggling is not sexy to me. But in the Op's situation, it is a legitimate question. It sounds like he really wants the date to go through, so the advice I gave him was based on that. For the best results, I think doing this will help. Of course, he could also ask more clearly again, and if she cancels then he can move on to somebody else. It sounds like a mess, so that might not be a bad idea. Nobody likes to feel scammed, but I don't think this is a scam, I think this is the venue he booked through. Perhaps she also misunderstood his question. Maybe he was vague.-- Modified on 2/9/2018 1:03:43 PM
I'm confused about a simple interaction I've had and I don't know how to interpret. I have an appt next week with a visiting provider. She advertises on TER to give a discount if booked in advanced while onP411 she does not mention the discount.
Since I didn't have TER membership at the time, I made initial contact and booked with her from P411 weeks before her visit (which is well within her discount time frame on TER). We switched from P411 PMs to emails after a little back and forth conversation. Since I wasn't sure what rate I should include, I asked her using the P411 PM system since I thought that was better to use to discuss $$.
She responds that "I should stick with one platform and to email her back to confirm". So now I'm even more confused. My initial reaction is to think she means since I contacted her through P411 that I should pay her P411 price and not her advertised discount on TER.
Should I just suck it up and put her P411 amount in the env, the TER amount, or should I ask again?
What's this amount of the discount anyway? $50? $100? Chiseling to get that kind of a discount will only do one thing: piss her off. Now, I don't mind pissing a girl off for a good reason. But $50 is not a good reason.
It's 20% off.
Yup, that's my thought as well...don't want to piss her off.
The cash isn't that big of a deal, it's more of the principle of it. That and I hate ambiguity. How hard is it to say, you contacted me through P411, you pay P411 price rather than something cryptic (or am I just being obtuse and that her meaning is clear as day)?
Luckily the young lass has stellar reviews.
Just like you feel awkward asking about the discount straight up, she probably doesn't want to talk about money straight up.
It's an awkward conversation, so having listed rates is the best way to go about it without having to have that 'dreaded' conversation. Dreaded on your side because you don't want to piss off a lady, and avoided on her side because its faux pas. Many don't want to be talking about money in emails. There is no safe route to do something, it's not like p411 is hidden from the world. It takes one screenshot.
A couple of reasons for this-one, our job is to apparently provide some kind of a fantasy that you're not paying, and that it is a real date. Which I don't really agree with by the way, I think the most real date is a compensated date LOL.
Two- some are worried about entrapment in writing.
P411 doesn't make anything safer when it comes to talking to someone. And just because it's through a private website email, it doesn't mean she's still not at risk for ruining the fantasy that she wants to provide by talking to you about money. If somebody doesn't have to talk about money, it makes everything so much easier in my opinion. And less awkward. Awkward does not help a date.
Acceptance is powerful. I say accept and pay the rate. If you can't accept it, you'll just have to risk pissing her off and hope the date goes ok lol!
P.S.If you look at it in this light: she's handling things in a way to maintain your 'fantasy'. Maybe that will help. If it's not a lot of money, thinking the best will probably make your date go much smoother for both of you.
-- Modified on 2/9/2018 10:22:45 AM
There is nothing wrong with talking about sex and there is nothing wrong with talking about money, what you can NOT do is talk about "sex AND money"
Since money has already been mentioned there should have been ZERO talk about sex in their conversations, asking for a simple clarification about rates/donations/gifts is cetainly allowable.
If I were the OP and I had any question about how much money she was expecting, I would simply come straight out and ask her. In a polite, respectful and "non entrapment" kind of way of course. A simple "I am a bit confused about what kind of gift to bring you. As a TER member who booked in advance in accordance to your ad, I was expecting to bring $xxx, if this amount is incorrect please advise" Sending this message via TER PM as a reply to her Ad post might help to show he indeed qualifies for that rate.
To be honest, I think this date is already FUBAR, and I think both parties are about equally at fault. It sounds like at this point if she honors the TER rate, she is going to feel shorted, and if he pays the higher rate he is going to feel cheated. This should be a lesson to the OP to be a bit more clear in his communications if a fifty buck difference in rate is that important to him.
This date sounds like a sour disaster of resentment waiting to happen on his side, I personally would prefer him clarifying with me if i ran a special, in order to assure the date is going to be positive. I do not like negative dates.
If you go back and read my post you will notice I mentioned that a lot of people do not like to talk about money due to the faux pas of that in this industry, and what might be going through her head.
I have no problem talking about money, because I have to. I require deposits for every date. And if somebody has a question, I'll answer it. No problem. My practice is different than many. But my set up leaves no need for questions, because it is pretty clear.
Before talking I would in some way have verified that they are legitimate. (So in this case my answer would have been clear IF he was fully screened out and I knew he was serious, which it sounds like the case here.) I don't answer questions unless it's about an actual date that's going to actually happen.
My rates are also pretty straightforward across-the-board, no deals or specials. Just VIP packages For people who regularly see me.
Even that is across the board.
In my case, this isn't a "fantasy" just because money is involved. But with many, many clients, they don't see it that way, so it is definitely a touchy subject, especially for the person trying to make the sale. I think both people here are trying not to fuck up the date. That's thinking the best, at least.
Haggling is not sexy to me. But in the Op's situation, it is a legitimate question. It sounds like he really wants the date to go through, so the advice I gave him was based on that. For the best results, I think doing this will help.
Of course, he could also ask more clearly again, and if she cancels then he can move on to somebody else. It sounds like a mess, so that might not be a bad idea. Nobody likes to feel scammed, but I don't think this is a scam, I think this is the venue he booked through. Perhaps she also misunderstood his question. Maybe he was vague.
-- Modified on 2/9/2018 1:03:43 PM
Guess what I said was over looked. But there was no further need to ask
Yup. Missed that one. Lol
I did and the reply she gave me was that cryptic response.
Oh well, I'm not going to chance pissing her off.
Is somewhat common. Don’t start off on the “wrong foot” pay the p411 rate.
That's the idea.
Thanks everyone for all your inputs.
I have a difficult time with being able to read between ambiguous lines and appreciate your opinions 
Not sure I got this correctly.
1st you see her ad on TER indicating a 20% discount for prebooking
2nd you contact her on P411 and you mention her TER ad.
3rd she accepts your booking request and asks you to email her.
Am I following it right?
So what was the problem? You know her regular rate say $600. Subtract the 20%, $480 is what you bring. The ambiguity she probably felt since it should be clear. Of course as was said before you could have brought the 20% just in case.
Now that you requested and apparently backed out of the appointment after asking her to do the math and let you know if $480 was correct I doubt she will book with you in the future sorry.
The platform was the means which you communicate. You could have acknowledged through email providing the ad link and asked does the 20% discount apply to this appointment.
Best of luck in the future
This is in no way meant to be condescending or insulting, but you are asking people on a forum to help you clarify what is happening between you an another person. You should be asking her to clarify what is happening, because she is the only one who can. No reason to be afraid to clearly communicate to her if you’re confused about her ads as long as you don’t ask about her menu options bcd. Tact is a lot easier when emailing because you can think about every word you say before putting it out there.
If her rate on TER was a special rate for example, and lower than her P411 profile lists, you simply say in a private message, or your appointment request, that you noticed her TER ad on your local board and you wanted to meet her. You simply bring the donation that she has listed on which ever particular page you point out that you found her on. If she lists a discount for P411 members, it’s okay to say nothing and bring that amount. However, I often just pay the full rate for one hour. I personally look for providers who offer discounted rates on 90-120 min dates rather than trying to get a percentage off 60 min dates when the provider is $300-$400 hourly. (But if she’s $600 p/h+ LOL, I’ll take the $100 discount for P411 members!)
Keeping communication on one platform until the day of the date (when I switch to text for directions) allows both of you to read the entire string of communication in one place. If you want to move the conversation, just suggest you would like to move over to “x” and communicate there until the date. You should always give enough time (I like 3-7 days) when meeting someone new. That gives both of you enough time before the date to get a feel for each other.
No ambiguity, although a bit blunt. My $0.02 as well as rules to live by:
1. Meeting for the first time, I do not discuss the rate. Ever.
2. If she has rates on several platforms bring the highest one. If a repeat is desired afterwards we may then both feel
comfortable talking about rate.
The multiple rate thing is annoying. At the risk of using this analogy and causing someone heartburn, nobody wants to be the chump on the plane that paid twice as much for his ticket. Having said that, I think people on both sides rob themselves of a chance to have more fun at this because their head is on the dollars instead of the sensation. There, a full .02 cents worth that's worth exactly nuthin'.
Its okay to discuss rate. It is important for both parties to have a mutual agreement of said rates before agreeing to meet each other for a date to avoid any problems later. What you should not do is offer sexual acts for x rate. That is illegal.
This happens a lot. I run a promotion for certain platforms. However a guy will bring up to me that he saw my promotion on another platform and I will honor it. Just say something to her. "Hey are you still offering the incentive for TER users?" Tell her exactly what you just said here.
OP said, "She responds that "I should stick with one platform and to email her back to confirm"."
Hi Sasha...(I love the name Sasha...such a yummy name)
The reason I brought it here to TER was because I did ask her that question...twice. And both times she either answered as I stated above or she didn't even reply. I didn't want to ask a 3rd time without understanding her answer she gave previously, hence my question to TER about it.
Yea, I'm overly sensitive about this stuff. I try to live by the rules, but sometimes the rules are different depending on who you're dealing with. And then there's the rules that you don't know about until someone hits you over the head for breaking them. It's confusing for a straight shooter such as myself
You got your answer though, it's "no you don't get a discount", that's what being intentionally vague/not answering at all means.
If you're ok with that see her. If not, you can always cancel, but, she definitely gave you an answer, and at this point you have to be the decisive one here and either find another girl or forget about the discount and have a good time. Considering that you're still talking about a simple discount issue and how it breaks your straight talk code, it seems you're not happy with the idea of paying full price at all, in which case if you do go see her you'll probably go in annoyed about the whole situation and not have a good time.
Here's some straight talk: don't see her, you're probably going to take this discount thing to the session and maybe even bring it up, expecting an explanation in person, igniting a confrontation, and then shit will go downhill from there. Find another girl instead. Fucking hookers is for fun, not so you can get a headache caused by whether or not you'll get a discount on pussy.
It seems like the situation is muddied because she thinks that you might be trying to haggle her. Her response is rude too. Next time lead with "Hey found you on TER. Are you still running the promo?." That way she knows that you expect a certain rate for a date with her. Keeping an open line of communication between both parties is essential but most lack the basic skills of communicating effectively. So sorry that you tried and she just dropped the ball. It seems you will have to pay her higher rate unless you can figure out how to diffuse the situation and let her know that you are expecting to get the incentive that she previously offered.
It’s confusing and stressful. If you have a discounts for members of certain sites that’s fine, but the base price being different leads to problems and to conversations that neither provider or client want to have.
If for any reason you are going back and forth with someone and cant seem to feel comfortable about the situation, find someone else LOL. If her lax marketing is causing issues with her making a living, or she is constantly getting calls asking her to verify stuff that's confusing to people, she will have to make those adjustments on her end to stop that from happening. I hobby to avoid confusion regarding women and the path to me getting laid. I don't know how long you have been doing this, but it should be as easy as contacting her with a date and time, her screening you and agreeing to the date and time you asked for, and texting the day of the playdate for directions. If it is harder than that, it is too difficult.
This is supposed to be fun, not work. The moment it becomes work, I start looking for someone else.
I feel much the same about screening, unlike most guys I am already "out" so i don't really care about what kind of info a girl needs from me before agreeing to see me. (I still don't recommend the "average" guy with something to lose/hide should give out personal info), but it's a matter of whether or not she expects me to "jump through hoops" to see her.
P411 makes this so simple for most of us. Once I have decided on a lady to visit, it's rare that it takes more than five minutes of effort on my part to schedule a date. If I have to "work" to see a woman, I will stick to SB's and Civvies.
Funny but true, it’s easier for you and if it wasn’t you would just move on to the one that is.
He messed up. Didn’t need to make it so hard. He already new her rate. He new she was offering a 20%. He mentioned having seen her ad on TER when contacting her through P411. She accepted his request to meet but asked to move communications platform to emails. The only conversation should be to confirm and get information for they scheduled meeting such as location maybe phone number for the day of.
Instead he wanted to make her do the math and assure him the offer of 20% discount was still good. He should had said in his P411, hey I saw your TER discount of 20% off for advanced booking I would like to schedule and would like to see you at 2pm 1hr on Thursday (what day and time he wanted). That isn’t difficult and doesn’t take much time.
SMH, not her problem, his. He made it difficult. If it was questionable once she accepted his request he could have brought the extra 20% just in case.
I agree with both of you.
When I want uncertainty and confusion in my life, I get into dating civies or hookers OTC again.
If I want simple, not confusing and just great fucking, I deal with p4p ladies that make life easy.
But, I have to admit that I sometimes must like the difficult, emotionally taxing way. I do fall into it every now and then. And sometimes it is totally worth the crazy making.
One day I might grow up. Haha
Just pay the amount I dicTed on the chosen platform. 50-100 u can spend havi g ur car parked in valet. Fun times aren't worth worrying over the amount unless you only see low end providers.