TER General Board

Providers: why the double standard?
questionman222 3179 reads
posted
1 / 57

I travel quite a bit, and many times my wife comes with me.  When I'm on a trip I like to hobby.  There are endless opportunities:  sometimes we split up and she goes shopping for a couple hours and I have another diversion, sometimes I contact a provider at my destination and we agree upon a hotel - I tend to rise earlier than my wife, so I just go for a walk or down to the lobby to read.

But from some providers I get the "for shame" attitude, or "you should be with your wife"  Just wondering why?
In fact, I am with my wife, we have sex 2-3 times a week, but I enjoy the variety.  

Just seems like a double standard.

inicky46 61 Reviews 1440 reads
posted
2 / 57

Think about it.  If you married guys did what such women suggest, they'd be out of business. Sounds like they're putting themselves in your wife's shoes.

Swamp_Donkey 1200 reads
posted
3 / 57
wrps07 1718 reads
posted
4 / 57

Also the providers realize that they are truly entertaining a guy for pure pleasure and not because he needs a release because he can't get sex.

Some providers who feel the opposite that a man is entitled to as many women he can handle. They consider themselves as a 2nd or 3rd wife, lol. One actually told me that. When you don't see them for a month you get phone calls and text because of the emotional attachment they have to the client.

mrfisher 111 Reviews 1391 reads
posted
5 / 57

She'd go off on the shopping thing and I would tell her, you have fun, I'll just take a walk or go to the pool.

Of course, I'd be looking for an escort the moment she took off.

It's like going to a bar and being lectured by the bar tender that I shouldn't be drinking so much; or going to a fast food place and being told I should only have a salad and some fresh fruit.

JohnyComeAlready 1591 reads
posted
6 / 57

They are assigning you the blame for your infidelity...  and they should. You are the one "cheating" even if your wife is okay with it, it's still cheating. The ladies are just placing the guilt where it belongs, with you, and not them.

Posted By: questionman222
I travel quite a bit, and many times my wife comes with me.  When I'm on a trip I like to hobby.  There are endless opportunities:  sometimes we split up and she goes shopping for a couple hours and I have another diversion, sometimes I contact a provider at my destination and we agree upon a hotel - I tend to rise earlier than my wife, so I just go for a walk or down to the lobby to read.  
   
 But from some providers I get the "for shame" attitude, or "you should be with your wife"  Just wondering why?  
 In fact, I am with my wife, we have sex 2-3 times a week, but I enjoy the variety.    
   
 Just seems like a double standard.

wrps07 1280 reads
posted
7 / 57

Not to hobby to close to home. I did a few times in walking distance from my house. I was lucky not to get caught. I had to go back to the gym at 0100 once to wash the smoke off my body.

Tobi Telford See my TER Reviews 1505 reads
posted
8 / 57

That's like a restaurant owner telling you that you shouldn't go out to eat so much. If it weren't for married dudes, we'd be out of business.  

Posted By: questionman222
I travel quite a bit, and many times my wife comes with me.  When I'm on a trip I like to hobby.  There are endless opportunities:  sometimes we split up and she goes shopping for a couple hours and I have another diversion, sometimes I contact a provider at my destination and we agree upon a hotel - I tend to rise earlier than my wife, so I just go for a walk or down to the lobby to read.  
   
 But from some providers I get the "for shame" attitude, or "you should be with your wife"  Just wondering why?  
 In fact, I am with my wife, we have sex 2-3 times a week, but I enjoy the variety.    
   
 Just seems like a double standard.

lopaw 29 Reviews 936 reads
posted
10 / 57
MarkusKetterman 150 Reviews 1249 reads
posted
11 / 57

I can imagine that if I were a provider I would find it tedious if not a bit annoying if you showed up for an appointment with me and told me all of this -  

just as what makes hobbying interesting for johns is the fantasy - the disconnect of sex and intimacy from "real life" -   many providers seem to want or need to feel that same disconnect as well.  Providers also need to find a thing or two about you to like in order to "service" you -   and the narrative you state above is really not "likeable".....

Swamp_Donkey 1292 reads
posted
12 / 57

parks across the street and waits for one way to leave and then sneaks back to young and hung's room lmao

hbyist+truth=;( 1160 reads
posted
13 / 57

You are a cheater like most, and we hookers capitalize on it. The only double standard would be if you got upset if your wife was enjoying herself with a strange cock, tongue or pussy herself while you were out "walking".  

Hey as long as she spend s as much on shopping as you do on pussy, I think it is very fair.

hbyist+truth=;( 1127 reads
posted
14 / 57

If I wanted a fantasy here I would be picking the hottest bodies I could find, not out of shape guys who are, for the most part, not my style in bed. For me it is a job that I provide the fantasy. Other ladies may actually be in this for what you described.  

Personally I like hearing about the guys life or wife etc.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1222 reads
posted
15 / 57

I would never - ever shame you for giving me money and also giving me sex. lol

When you say "some" providers, what percentage of them say this? SMH that's just nuts

-- Modified on 6/20/2014 8:18:54 AM

MarkusKetterman 150 Reviews 1243 reads
posted
16 / 57

Johnny wants to believe that you think he's awesome an handsome and studly and that you can't wait to suck and fuck him

Ms hooker just wants to be able to find a few reasons not to have complete and utter distaste for mr Johnny so that she can perform for him

for many,  telling them outright that you are a cad - even though they know that by definition lol - is not conducive.....

but I suppose that for the hardcore realist,  it makes no difference -   in that case I agree -

hearing hooker drama in session does not put me off -  my only issue with it is the time wasting factor...

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1187 reads
posted
17 / 57

QV's he's seeing, I presume

Etiquette:
"Please do not be personal when I am with you. This GFE wants to know nothing about you."

See how that sells lol

-- Modified on 6/20/2014 8:21:44 AM

MasterZen 33 Reviews 1075 reads
posted
18 / 57

and people who want to judge others. IMHO, this world should be an escape from that.  

I suspect MK is right and you are doing something to trigger such comments from providers you see, or perhaps you are simply seeing providers with regard only to physical appearance and not "chemistry" - or worse, just based upon rates.  

Somewhere in this, I'm guessing you are probably reaping what you are sowing

wrps07 922 reads
posted
19 / 57

In the younger generations some of the men are down right sorry. Very immature. They don't work, live at home with parents  and want the ladies to be sugar mommas.  Believe or not there is a whole industry of websites out there where the rich woman are paying the men lol.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1386 reads
posted
20 / 57

The shopping thing lol. That hit me like a 2x4. What a fantastic idea! I need to find a rich guy who will cheat on me, and because he feels guilty will give me shopping money lol

-- Modified on 6/20/2014 9:41:55 AM

FoxyNC See my TER Reviews 915 reads
posted
21 / 57

If you come to see me...
And somehow mention a wife (because trust me, 9 out of 10 times, I ain't asking) pretty much, it's duly noted.
As another provider mentioned, you don't need to go back to wifey smelling like "strange" anything- nor covered in "sparkles" (from cosmetics etc etc.)  
Married status to me, is hardly something worth chastisement.
Who the hell would I be to judge you?
(So let me tell you this joke the one about the hooker and the married guy, so he says to her....)

No.
I don't play the duplicitous pot & kettle.

Married status to me, means there's a better chance of a secure professional boundary being respected, i.e., client-turned-bad issues (stalking, boundary crossing, random pointless contact.)

I don't know which hookers were guilt tripping you over being married, but they obviously aren't too swift at their job.
Maybe instead of running their hypocritical mouths, they should get to work, and put a dick in their mouths and start sucking (and STFU.)
These ladies clearly need a dose of reality, it isn't their place to judge, hell, they're hookers, who make the majority of money off of married men. If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black....

You ever seen a screening form with "RELATIONSHIP STATUS:_______ " on it?
I haven't. This isn't Match.com.

Rant over.
Sorry if I took snarky to the bitch level, but sometimes, these gals should read responses like mine (or h+t, or HTG, I think they know how to deliver undiluted truth, even as a provider.)

I need coffee now.

 
Foxy

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1336 reads
posted
22 / 57

"Let's make someone else look bad so I don't have to look as bad."

Also note, the one who leads the other astray is actually the "worse sinner", and I'm the one tempting him to cheat... if you want to be biblical about it. Also, both commit adultery. You don't have to be the married one to do it. Marriage just has to be in the situation and everyone is caught with chocolate cake on their face lol.

Of course, that stuff doesn't cross my mind when the guy books with me. What crosses my mind is, "Are we a good match? Is he screened? Is he going to pay the whole amount? Is he a potential future client? How can I make sure I reach the standard I sell? and This is going to be a blast."  

When business side is taken care of, he's mine for that time, and the only man in the world. His wife doesn't exist. (Unless he wants to talk about her lol.) He can talk about whatever he wants, as long as it's not insulting or disrespectful to me, my friends in the industry, or about things that can hurt someone else. It's free game after that. That's why he's paying the big bucks. I don't judge him when he walks in, because I consider myself the worse 'sinner'/the enticer. He's a saint compared to me lol. Which is why I can seduce him.

Then we part ways - I pay my bills, he goes home or to another woman, whatever I don't care lol. I just hope I made him happy and want to return for more.

Some people get off on judging and being condescending. It's a power thing.


-- Modified on 6/20/2014 9:34:33 AM

Fridays117 27 Reviews 1435 reads
posted
23 / 57

And mentioned to a provider that I felt a little bad cheating on my wife.  She actually yelled at me!  she said, Dammit!  I've seen you 3 x in the past 3 months.  if your wife was keeping you happy you wouldn't be with me.  You'd stay home.  Now while I am not sure of that, I do agree that I'd be less likely to want to find a provider if there was more frequency in my marriage.  I am a fan of mixing it up once in a while and seeing someone new but if I am satisfied on a regular basis I don't get the urge to stray as often.
As far as double standard, well, if my wife was seeing a male provider it might explain a lot.  I sincerely doubt it though. A. Very little opportunity.  B. I control the household finances and would notice missing cash (more than her).  C.  She was never a high volume gal since the beginning, she just don't want it that often.  D. She doesn't want the D much.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1206 reads
posted
24 / 57
angelexotic See my TER Reviews 1464 reads
posted
25 / 57

I actually probly would just do the no comment thing and stay quiet when you begin telling me about your hotel wife personal detauils, Not my business, I certainly wouldnt care what your situation is, How tiring it would be if i mentally got involved with every customers affairs. I prefer we sync into a temporary autonomous zone and not mention our real lives, I need the escape and enjoy it just as much, Leaving your drama and personal affairs at the door is what makes this so fulfilling for both parties, If  some one cares to chat otc however only then do i go back to being me, not angel, Shame some review the otc time which was spent and shouldnt be included in a review of an appt. If a provider chose to engage you after the schedule and paid for appt.  
 humna to human as opposed to john to hooker, at that point the appt is over i have done my work but if i choose to socialize after and its not otc I dislike those that give detailed accounts of that interaction . I think it should be a review of simpkly thw actuall appt, not if you become friends or socialize outside of the appy, '
     If i do a FREE dinner date with a client and am not being paid my dinner date fee I will and do act like myself, Which is alot more fun and alot less work, On the clock i am a horny sex starved nympho that just wants to do everything to make the man happy , in real life i actually get sick and tired of it and want to talk about other things, and i like acting like a total kid.

BijouNeko 947 reads
posted
26 / 57

I don't know if it's a double standard, but it certainly is rude of those providers to say something like that! Not to mention that trying to guilt-trip your clients seems like a pretty poor business strategy.  My point of view is, I am here to share pleasure with you, not to judge you!

RussianWithLove 1188 reads
posted
28 / 57
Blowing Chunks 1349 reads
posted
29 / 57

They are entitled to their opinion,  and it's an obvious response to such situations  
But I'd agree that it doesn't help them with their business lol

adrianamonet See my TER Reviews 1173 reads
posted
30 / 57

Judgement should not have a place here. Who are any of us to judge? It would be like some guy as a client telling me I am too pretty, too nice, too intelligent, blah blah vomit, blah to do what I do.

*side eye*  

:-D

-- Modified on 6/20/2014 9:28:39 AM

JohnyComeAlready 1068 reads
posted
31 / 57
ZoePiers See my TER Reviews 1492 reads
posted
33 / 57

I loved this

Posted By: BijouNeko
I don't know if it's a double standard, but it certainly....  I am here to share pleasure with you, not to judge you!

JohnyComeAlready 1595 reads
posted
36 / 57

I'm not there for an interview, I already know all about my personal life... and since I'm not trying date the hooker I'm with, it's not like she needs to know about it any way.

Dr Who revived 1460 reads
posted
37 / 57

If she can guess all of your handles that you've used....and in particular the one before BV...

She get's to leave the room with your money and no service.

If she can't guess them...she still get's to leave the room with your money and no service.

You have a personal life?
Posted By: JohnyComeAlready
I'm not there for an interview, I already know all about my personal life... and since I'm not trying date the hooker I'm with, it's not like she needs to know about it any way.

JohnyComeAlready 1419 reads
posted
38 / 57

Was my previous handle... Bwaahahaha! :-D

bonordonor 1146 reads
posted
40 / 57
Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 734 reads
posted
41 / 57
WickedBrut 27 Reviews 867 reads
posted
42 / 57

This sort of OP strikes me as much less significant.

When the provider says, "For shame," is it just another way of saying, " Oh, you naughty, naughty boy!" or..? Is she saying, "I don't want to have sex with you because that would be so, so wrong since YOU are married."?

I doubt it's the latter, unless she actually kicks you out and passes on the envelope.

If it's the former-- "Oh, you naughty boy!" Then it's just part of the sex play like scampering across the room, jumping on the bed and off the other side while you are both wrapped in towels after your very erotic shower play. She's making you chase her, giggling all the time, and when you catch her and throw her on the bed she responds with a series of passionate kisses, caresses, and...YMMV.

If you don't like this type of foreplay, I guess you could ask her to stop it...but normally the point of all this includes enjoying the chase, and all the other play.

I think the double standard is a given to life that we parody and play with when we are intimate. Think of all the power games that are played-- your jaws on her neck during mish, her kneeling submissively as she worships your cock-- do these expressions bother you, too?

IMO, her admonishment about you sneaking away from your wife to be with her is just part of the foreplay. Enjoy it

bonordonor 1212 reads
posted
43 / 57
RussianWithLove 940 reads
posted
45 / 57
sophiaLA See my TER Reviews 1095 reads
posted
47 / 57

No offense but I concerns me self with one pussy and it's mine. I should pass judgement and feel sorry for HER? I'm the one fuckin ya :D

Seriously though, unless I'm explaining to a slower or inexperienced man why it's best he take his shirt and tie off before rolling, around with me why even bring marriage up?

"How's it going, I'm not from here…just vacationing with the wife"…what reaction did you expect?
It's not for her to judge but it's kind of like dick slapping. It's all good unless you had no idea it was coming, then it's wtf…I mean that's lovely.  

That's the thing having sex with humans…unexpected variables.
Next time a girl gives you a shaming call the adjustment bureau on her ass, she's in the wrong life lane

MarkusKetterman 150 Reviews 1183 reads
posted
48 / 57

which is not about the gent not being able to talk to you at all -

but I've never met the hooker yet who wants to feel that they are servicing an absolute creep -  

a john is not doing a service to himself or to the provider du jour to tell her things that are going to make it harder for her to do her job....

now maybe you don't care if the guy is doing his wife this way -  maybe most providers don't care - but I can tell you that based on my limited experience,  most seem not to want the fact that the guy is a total creep rubbed in their face.....

it's one thing if he can come in and whine about not getting sex at home and loving his wife and how hobbying helps keep his marriage together - that is probably standard for a lot of people

hbyist+truth=;( 1144 reads
posted
49 / 57

Two of my most disgusting experiences at least from a visceral and not physical stand point....

1. Guy comes in and starts in how his wife is getting chemo and that he hopes he can stay the full time before she calls to be taken home. Wow how dare her chemo get int the way of a teaspoon of jizz in a condom.

2. Not as bad as the first but a close second...wife is in the hospital in labor. He got bored and hired a hooker. I told him to go be with his wife who is punching out a cantaloupe sized head and shoulders out of her pussy to make you a father.  

A guy wants to get laid, I get it, I am in the business but shit on a shingle, these two take the cake with timing. Could not both have waited till after the chemo and birth?  

First one I gave the worst service I could because I could not stop thinking about her all alone sitting in those chairs with poison pumping through her veins.

Second one, told him to leave and support his wife  

I did not need to know ether of those circumstances as they both looked like shit dressed in clothes to me after that and I hated them both.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 783 reads
posted
50 / 57
bonordonor 1190 reads
posted
51 / 57

Tobi-up to 50  Courtney-up to 70, Then I'm good to go! Otherwise, I'll need to get yet another fake ID! lol

-- Modified on 6/20/2014 8:24:28 PM

GreekDeprived 1634 reads
posted
52 / 57

had the view point of "Why do you care what other people think of you?"

There is the fellow on TV who has said "I neither need nor want your approval."--Dr. Phil

I encountered Feyman decades before Dr. Phil.

Dr. Phil's statement precisely states the place I have evolved to from my childhood and middle adult life, when at first I was focused on what others though about how I lived my life and without questioning it ingrained it in my belief system as "THE" normal way to live.  

For many decades I accepted the "norm" of anal sex as deviant and repugnant; my belief about that has evolved to something very different.

Deprive

MarkusKetterman 150 Reviews 1267 reads
posted
53 / 57

they do not need to know nor do they care to know  -   it only makes things more difficult for them and creates more YMMV -

I'd rather talk about how beautiful le belle du jour is -  how soft her skin - how much I enjoy seeing her, feeling her...   I'd rather our bodies do the talking -

and after all I am a ray of fucking sunshine -

SuperBustyBlonde See my TER Reviews 1218 reads
posted
54 / 57

I love all men and I love it when they bring their wives but if they need a little secret fun, then so be it.  I accepted that about me a long time ago

Arovet 62 Reviews 1048 reads
posted
55 / 57

I'll be right back...

Blowing Chunks 1387 reads
posted
56 / 57

Who the heck cares what Feynman or for that matter what Dr. Phil said about this topic of caring about what others think?  

Do you really need their quote to not care all that much about what other people think of you?  

To a certain extent though, I do care because we are all social beings  
but when it comes to hobbying, greek, and certain fetishes, I agree that it's nobody's business but ours.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1100 reads
posted
57 / 57


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