1.) A Colts jersey
2.) A TER membership with the alias Smoothdeepsub2
3.) A box of adult diapers for road trips to come and see me
4.) A mallet, a wig and assorted implements to fight my wife for my love
5.) A printout of this post to prode her into appreciation
6.) A cattle prode in case the above does not work
7.) an autograph copy of my pre-internet book: Holeydiver: the streetwalker years.

There's the one that I've invested a lot in that I need to KEEP happy, and the one that I WANT to be happy.  It's probably tacky to get both of them a mold of my penis, huh?

35% of all women polled said they would be willing to pay for dinner on that day. This of course depends on how comfortable the guy is with masturbation.

She expressly doesn't like jewelry or flowers, although she'd live on chocolate.  I'm getting her what she wants and enjoys - a couple of dvds and some books, all in a narrow area that she's very interested in and that are somewhat hard to get.  And, of course, lots of love.

I bought myself a $2800.00 diamond ring.  My mom said, "You don't need a man to buy good jewelry."  So, I make my yearly buy around Valentine's Day.  Anytime I feel unappreciated, I just masturbate, while staring at my ring  ALL BETTER!